On imagination

"When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge."
~Tuli Kupferberg

The retirement

You know when people retire they get a watch? (photo clicks way bigger)

Well the company retired itself, in a way, so this is the wimmins version of the watch everybody got at the farewell party. Awe. I thought the gesture was quite lovely, even if half the people will prolly auction off the goods on eBay, LOL!

Oh and curiously enough, the last poll revealed that nobody wants to be a smartass balding cannibal, the ideal seems to be a hot fugitive with martial arts and driving skillz.

jason bourne 33%
austin powers 26%
indiana jones 13%
luke skywalker 13%
clark kent 6%
james bond 6%
hannibal lecter 0%

Why am I not surprised!

/end of Sunday post/

It huuuurts!

My sides have a stitch, for cryin' out loud!

I just read Spaz's two hours of hell and if I had an award for "best post ever on the shits", I promise it would be handed to him on a silver platter!

Oh my freaking jeebus.

That guy is brilliant!

I lost it

If I could erase last night with a magic zapper, I'd feel a bit better. What a fecking disaster.

Let's face it: some people are meant to drive and others are not. I abhor travelling of any kind, just have me "there" and nevermind the "getting there", please. PLEASE!

Yesterday, after running a slew of errands, the plan was for me to meet Dakotah's breeder (who was driving in from Ontario) at the Olympic Stadium in preparation for the weekend's dog show so she could see the furkids and we'd catch up and stuff - easy 'nuff, right? I mean I live just 10 minutes away! ETA was around 4pm so I figured that by 6pm I'd be home, Vegas and I could have a relaxing Friday night together just mellowing out and stuff.

Ha ha! Not!

Delay, delay, finally got the call at 6:15pm so I set out shortly after that. Instructions were to go to Parking B and then meet on the showfloor, sounds simple enough, right?

Only if the building in question isn't the Olympic Stadium.

I swear those fuckers built it to torture civilians.

Parking B wanted to charge me $12 on a cold, rainy and deserted night just so I could drop something off on the exhibits floor, I whined a bit and the lady gave me 30 minutes but NO MORE. Whew! I felt lucky :-D

Drove around in circles until I found a door leading out, crossed a long rainy pavement and entered... the wrong building. The security guard told me I was in the back end of the stadium and that I had to go around "that way" until I reached the front. Crap.

Do you know how fucking far that is when it's sleeting and blowing and you have two excited dogs in tow?

I finally get to the front of the place, which is the loading dock. Can't get in there either since I'm on foot, so the guy at the gate pointed me to another hall and said "go there and they'll let you in". I run some more, enter the hall and... it's deserted, everything's locked up and there is no one in sight.

All the while I have my friend on the cellphone and she has no idea where I am either, I'm sure I drove her mad with my screaming...

I run back to the loading dock booth and want to cry, at this point I can't feel my fingers and the dogs are looking at me like I'm nuts or something. Time is ticking, I need to move the car out of the parking lot, the attendant says "come back in your car and you can get in" - aaaaaaaa!

Off we go again (30 minutes of jogging in the rain at this point), I get in the car and of course the gas tank has been in deep orange for a while, so I need to find a gas station before stalling.

So typical.

Drive some more, fill up the car, then circle the stadium in vain trying to find the entrance to the magic loading dock - I have an address but it's pitch black outside and greasy rain is fogging up my windshield while the stench of wet dogs make me gag - I'm having the time of my life here :-D Errrr.

Oh! There it is, finally! I make the turn and almost ram into a metal gate, chained closed and padlocked.

They closed the fucking ramp.

Was it wrong of me to give up at that point?

A dinner of Honeycomb cereal can only take you so far on a cold rainy Friday night... I call my friend again and we arrange to meet at a Tim Horton's for coffee, she gives me the directions and I head off to wait for her there.

Only after driving and driving some more, no Tim Hortons - only endless dark residential streets. I figure she must have given me the wrong directions so I turn around and try another road. Another dead end there after 15 minutes, I pull over to call Vegas and was trying very hard not to bawl on the phone... it was past 8pm at that point and the dogs were still in the car, such patient creatures!

I loathe Montreal east. LOATHE it.

Call my friend again and she's at the Tim Horton's waiting for me, she gives me the cross-road and it turns out I had given up one block too soon.

Figures.

Finally make it, we have a hot chocolate and donuts, catch up with news and it was so lovely to see her again, I mean she lives 7 hours away so how could I miss this opportunity, you know?

After saying our goodbyes I figure I'm about 15 minutes from home, no so bad since it's 9:20pm. Only I didn't take into account all the fucking red lights (I caught them all) and not being able to turn left on the street I was supposed to... which led me to GETTING LOST with no map in the car and no GPS.

It took me 40 minutes to get home.

All in all, it was a shitty Friday night: poor doggies had no run and no dinner, I was stressed out of my gourd and wanted to punch something really, really bad. Vegas sat around all evening watching TV, playing xbox and eating. I wanted to kill him. Twice.

Sigh.

It was an extreme over-reaction that I can only explain by sheer mental and physical exhaustion and stress, either that or I am near a nervous breakdown so watch it, youse, watch it!

Needless to say, I scrapped all weekend plans that involved driving and socialising. It sucks because I really wanted to go to the dog show and I was supposed to attend a family dinner out east tonight :-( Right now my self-preservation instinct is all I'm holding onto.

If I wasn't working, it would be a whole other ballgame.

I am seriously wondering if I did the right thing, because right now the new job feels like a noose around my neck.

Fucking money. It kills people.

/end of Really Really Long Boring Post post/

Giving thanks

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when

our hearts are conscious of our treasures."
~Thornton Wilder

Like, love and parties!

I really really like my new colleagues - and that's saying alot after being stuck in a small stuffy hotel meeting room with them for two days straight! Bad catering, stale coffee and death by powerpoint would be enough to dampen most people's will to live but you know what? These guys still rock and I just know I'll have a blast working with them :-)

Oh and if that wasn't enough, tonight was the "adieu"-slash-christmas party of my now-defunct old company.

Was super happy to see the gang again... they're like family to me and everyone was thrilled to hear about my good fortune (awe!), I skipped the drinking cuz I need to be gentle to my recuperating tummy and we left early-ish but I still had a blast.

Oh and everyone got a really lovely branded stainless-steel watch... the very last item produced with the company logo. Sad to see the end of a era, it really is like losing a best friend. I know I know, I'm such a nerd! But if you had worked there you would know what I mean.

That watch will fetch a killing on eBay someday. Not MY watch, am never going to sell it, but others might. Crazy what some fanatics will pay for collectibles.

Vegas is chainsawing and shooting alien monsters on his xbox right now.

I will never understand the fascination.

Gore, guts, more gore and exploding brains. FFS!

OK the sweetheart did spoil me again tonight with a beautiful card and a little gift "just because"... I often wonder what I did to deserve him! Oh wait... I let him play hours of gory xbox on the TV and nevermind my cooking shows. It evens out :-D

Have any of you ever given a homeless person more than $5?

/end of Sorry For Rambling Your Heads Off post/

*waves once then disappears*

I'm alive!

Barely.

Hope I don't pass out from exhaustion in the hot shower.

What a day.

Hope to catch up with blogland soon... I miss you guys.

I choose to be a warrior :-)

"Whatever you are be a good one."
~Abraham Lincoln

Last day of freedom - sniff!

I really was geared towards taking the month of December off to get my act together, to rest, bake cookies, sleep, just enjoy life and the holidays. Hah. No such luck. I start my new job tomorrow and oh I'm so not ready for it... sniff.

Can't complain cuz it's a great place - same saddle different horse - and it's so very close to home... but still. Our dreams are on hold until spring or early summer so I have to bite the bullet, plow ahead and just focus on holding on just a bit longer in this stinking city.

Right now the snow is melting into thick slushy puddles, mixing in with the rain to torture pedestrians and drivers alike with cold muck. Nice, eh? LOL!

At least I get to see doggies and friends this weekend, it's Montreal's big annual dog show and I can't wait! Yey! Gonna get doggie supplies, do lots of research and gather information on potential partners, surrounding kennels, etc. Will also see Dakotah's breeder and meet a fellow facebook friend for the first time, gotta encourage her and her 4-legged racer in the flyball tournament on Sunday. I'm such a nerd.

Vegas is working from home today, laundry's in the dryer and the dogs are passed out cold. Domestic bliss, I tell you!

I need to run a few errands today and well, with my tummy still kicking me in the figurative nads, I'm glad to be taking it easy. I've decided to shun meat and spicy foods for a week and see if that helps any... am also taking probiotics and if nothing helps, then I don't know. Never had to deal with this stuff before and am terribly annoyed. Grrr. Weak system!

Hot damn I'm boring today. Soooo sorry... ah well maybe then you won't miss me so much the next few days, as I'll have no blogging access during work hours and will probably be dizzy-headed in the evening eh? I believe they call it "shellshocked"!

I'm so born to be a housewife.

PS: don't forget to go vote in the poll! I need dreamers!

/end of Work Stinks But It Brings In The Pennies post/

Where to begin?

For starters, it was a very lovely trip. Lots of driving in two days but well worth it - we even had snow for the doggies to play in this morning!

If only my stomach virus hadn't resurfaced again, rendering me like this guy:

Yep, that's about the gist of it. Blah.

I couldn't really enjoy all the incredible food my stepmom aka "Martha Stewart" made and that pissed me right off... plus feeling like utter crap while stuck in traffic is never brilliant. Oh well am home now and crossing fingers I don't have to go through another episode of head-in-the-toilet.

Starting my new job Wednesday morning and I need to be in top shape!

Will try to go catch up on all your blogs if Mr Nausea lets meh.

/end of Short post/

Share the love: Project inspiration

Wayfaring Wanderer has launched a new project that tickled my fancy...

The rules are very simple: "Create a blog post featuring a photographer that inspires you; In the post, offer a brief explanation as to why you chose that particular photographer" so here is my choice of photographer that gets my mojo going: Jim Robertson from Black Gull Graphics.

Why this particular photographer? Easy 'nuff:

The United Kingdom. Rugged coastlines. The sea. Shimmering, frothy waves. Vast expanses of jewel-like oceans, mirroring breath-taking sunsets. Expressive low tides captured forever in pinks, blues, and earthy sensual tones.

His photography grabs me by the soul and just won't let go... if that isn't proof of a great artist then I don't know what is. I hope you take the time to visit his site and who knows? You too may fall in love with the sea :-)

Invisi-techno

I read a supercool t-shirt slogan yesterday: "Heck is for people who don't believe in gosh." LOL! Vegas if you're looking for crimmas prezzie ideas, well there ya go :-D

No time to blog this weekend... we spent the afternoon at my brother's celebrating my nephew's 1st bday - small gathering, we were only 17 people, split into two tables for spaghetti, wine and chockit cake - yet somehow it sucked up all the hours and here we are, 7pm and no dinner ready yet. Ack!

I can picture it now, little nephew a gawky teenager bringing home his first girlfriend and the parents whipping out "the photos aunti techno took" of him eating fistfuls of chocolate cake, smeared from head to toe in frosting... it was his first taste of the stuff and boy did he ever like it! hehe. This is so gonna bite me in the ass someday.

Anyhoo. Tomorrow.

We leave bright and early to go spend two days at my dad's, crossing fingers it goes well... it's only 3 hours of driving but I haaaaate driving, plus my dad better behave... am a bit nervous about that but Vegas said he would be there to shield me from any unpleasantness, should anything happen. Awe. The doggies love it there so I think it should be ok.

Time for dinner & a movie now, I'll catch up with the blogging world by Tuesday. Just didn't want any of you to think I was being snobby or anything :-D

/end of Have A Great Weekend Everyone! post/

Breathe easy

"Freedom is the oxygen of the soul."
~Moshe Dayan

Hurdles, humps, bumps in the road

Well, I got the job offer last night - yey! Except it's not what I was expecting so there will be some negotiating today... sigh. Why can't things just be easy from the get-go?

I seem to be hitting alot of walls lately and it's getting discouraging. Having to say "no thanks" to the first offer, pushing back, enduring the stress of back-and-forth negotiation, fighting for what should have been there in the first place. Again today, still trying to resolve an issue from my old job - wankers are giving me a hard time about something and I refuse to lay down and take it. Gaah. It gets old pretty quick.

I just want to move on and start a new life, you know?

Anyhoo. The sun is shining, it's bitterly cold in the wind (waaaay sub-freezing temps) and Vegas is working from home today so all is good.

The exterminator was here this morning so hopefully the mouse issue will be resolved shortly... and this afternoon I have to bring melonhead to the vet's for his annual thyroid testing to make sure his daily meds dosage is still on track. He loooves going there so much, I'll have to video the big knucklehead making a spectacle of himself - it's too ridiculous.

He'd sell his soul for a cookie :-)

** edited to add: check out his video! **

Taking it really easy today... no house cleaning (well... only a bit), we'll maybe go out for a bite tonight if I can't be arsed to cook. The next three days are full of travelling and social stuff so we don't mind keeping to ourselves for now. Yep, we love our cave! LOL

Oh and yey for the cheap gas these days!

/end of Friday Blabla post/

Nighttime

"In the country the darkness of night is friendly and familiar,

but in a city, with its blaze of lights, it is unnatural, hostile and menacing.

It is like a monstrous vulture that hovers, biding its time."
~Somerset Maugham

Little things = big brownie points

Girls, you'll understand what I mean... it's those sweet little gestures that your men do on a daily basis that make your hearts melt, right? OK maybe on a weekly basis, but still. The oil in the gears, the frosting on the cupcake, the gloss on the lips!

(Vegas you might want to skip this post as it's about you)

This week's tally includes:

• The way he squeezes the toothpaste tube juuust right, so the goods are always on top and nothing is messy
• When I am feeling icky and he goes out to fetch me a cold bottle of Perrier... even if he's in the middle of making us dinner
• He takes care of the doggies in the morning so I can get that extra bit of sleep, even if it puts a dent in his schedule
• When he comes home with a cute little present for me "just because"
• He knows how to work me out of a bad mood, fast. He just knooooows!
• No matter how fat and grotty I feel, he'll always say I'm beautiful... and then kiss me to prove it
• His laughter when we watch our favorite movies. I loves it.
• The way he lets me dream, and dream big - because we are a team and can do anything we want!

It's easy to count my blessings on a day like this, even if I'm a bit stressed with a few loose ends re: old job, still waiting on news re: new job. I know these are temporary things that will get resolved soon, no big deal.

** breathe **

/end of Still Trying To Relax, To No Avail post/

On destiny

"Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action;

actions form habits; habits decide character;

and character fixes our destiny."
~Tryon Edwards

And then there was Fate

Well. I won't bother you too much with details on the horrid sleepless night I had, interspersed with nauseating nightmares (even got Vegas queasy when I gave him the outline), suffice to say I'm not in the best of states today.

Still no appetite so no breakfast, forced down a fast-food lunch of loaded calories to punish my stomach but clearly I am not the boss in this situation...

ARSE!

Um. Well. I must be born with a horseshoe up my butt because despite feeling like shite and looking the part, I nailed that job interview this afternoon. Yep. They want me to start next Wednesday!

I tried to push to December 1st but oh well... it is how it is, I guess. Fate, destiny, lucky "right time, right place, right person" kinda thing. They're totally awesome, eh? I think I'll love it there :-)

Did I mention they are a five-minute walk from my place?

He he!

OK time to get the kids from the dogsitter's, then it's dinner for everyone, red wine and a movie for mom n'dad.

PS: thanks for all your encouraging good luck vibes, they WORKED!

/end of Wow, Talk About Fate! post/

Now I lay me down to sleep...

"Life is too short to sleep on low thread-count sheets."

~Leah Stussy

Melting hours!

It's mid-afternoon Tuesday, and I never saw the day go by.

OK so I got up at 10am after dozing on and off for two hours, but still. Why is time flying by so quickly? mutter

I ate way too much last night and spent most of the evening lamenting the fact while trying to breathe through cramped lungs... daaaamn you, chocolate cake! Sigh. I sinned and I paid for it, moving along...

Hey. I have a job interview tomorrow afternoon!

*w00t*

It's a very interesting fun company a mere 5 minutes walk from my place, so crossing fingers I have what they're looking for. This would help alot for when Vegas and I apply for a mortgage in February, keeping right on track with our plans to open a kennel by the summer. Oooo! So exciting.

Please send me all the mojo & good luck vibes that you can!! :-)

/end of Short Tuesday Must Clean The House now post/

The beast sleepeth

"Sometimes imagination pounces;
mostly it sleeps soundly in the corner, purring."
~Leslie Grimutter

This is... bizarre, yet refreshing

Well, here we are... my first Monday in years as an unemployed gal.

Wow.

Am too ambivalent about it to say whether I'm thrilled or throttled... hopefully the dust will settle in a bit and then I'll be able to see clear.

Yes, I slept in late this morning and it felt good... tended to the doggies like a good momma, ran a few errands and am now debating which housechore to attack - uggh.

Still no email nor phonecall about that potential job interview, it's not looking good IMO. Blah. Vegas tells me to give it a rest and that jobs will come (to tide us over until next spring when we get that kennel in the countryside up and running), but frankly I just don't know how to rest. It's against my DNA!

At least I have tonight's dinner all lined up, like a good wifey... making a baby spinach, fresh fennel and grape tomato salad, then a veggie rice pilaf served with leftover sweet baked squash. Dessert, of course, will be more of that devil's food cake... and let's not forget the wine!

Mmmmm caaake... so moist, so yummy...

I may be jobless but I'm certainly not a lazy housewife watching soaps all day! LOL

The laundry's calling, chat to youse later.

And beeehayve!

/end of Chatter Chatter post/

Pucker up

Is not a kiss the very autograph of love?
~Henry Finck

Belated scones

Remember the cheese scones I made the other night? Well, here they are... Admittedly they look like crap in the photo but trust me, in real life they were pretty rockin'... served hot with melted butter, perfect for dipping in creamy soup! :-D

Um, yeah... I just made another cake... it's cooling right now and the whole place smells like a warm chocolate hug. The icing will go on later and then we DIVE into warm fresh cake with a tall cold glass o'milk, how about that for a Sunday night?

Confession: dinner is spicy olive-oil roasted fingerling potatoes, fresh poached asparagus with lemon and creamy baked orange squash with butter and brown sugar.

Gotta fatten up for the long winter months ahead, no?

*grins*

Had an interesting time this afternoon - Vegas wanted to trade in some of his xbox games at the Future Shop downtown so off we went... Only when we got there, people were streaming out cuz of the fire alarm! LOL! Shivering employees in t-shirts huddling around the entrance, stamping their feet to keep warm while impatient customers said "fuck it" and just left...

We waited around a bit and finally made it in, got the goods and left in record time. Yep. Empty store, twas awesome.

No fire, just a false alarm of course.

Well, tomorrow is Monday and it's gonna be strange. I'm officially unemployed now.

I should feel more stressed about it but man, I'm just too tired... Looking around this place makes it worse - sooo cruddy, it will need hours of work to get it clean again [price to pay for months of laziness] and I know I'll feel all better when it's done. Logical! But... ugghh.

Laundry and ironing.
Washing the floors and carpet.
Bathing one of the dogs.
Complete kitchen cleaning, including fridge and stove.
Bathroom mega-clean.
Trip to the locker to drop stuff off.
Banking, phone calls, post office.

...and I really want to get some colour and a haircut!

*runs around flailing arms*

Notice the list didn't include a potential job interview or looking for work. Sigh. Melonhead accidentally nailed me on the chin with a back foot while I was grooming him this morning, so I have a nasty red crusty scratch to show the world now. Supercrap.

Kay, gotta finish the veggie dinner now.

/end of I Love Cake post/

Can't sleep, how annoying!

Gaaah!

I gave up after an hour of tossing and turning, so frustrating... I think I fell asleep OK around 11pm-ish, but woke up at 1am and that's it. Look at the damn time-stamp on this post, you'll see what I mean.

Had to take a muscle relaxant cuz the neck n'shoulders are acting up again, and as I cannot swallow pills I have to chew those mofos - fuck they taste terrible. To kill that, I munched on a chocolate bar and of course Vegas chose that moment to stumble out of the bedroom, all concerned, "what are you doing? why are you eating chocolate? why aren't you in bed?"

I love being loved :-)

Somebody please tell me Joan Collins is a freak. There is no way a 75 year old woman can look that starched without plastic surgery of sorts. NO WAY. Why all the damn denial? Google her yourself if you don't believe me!

*shakes fist at liars*

Watched "Best In Show" again tonight, my god did we ever laugh. Some movies never grow old, eh? Those Spinal Tap guys rock!

"That movies goes to eleven."

OK well, my brain's still on overdrive, my foot is tapping and these damn meds are not doing their job yet. Crap. I'm so grateful I have at least a week to sleep all I want!

/end of Sleepless In Montreal post/

Rainy Saturday...

The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Closure

Well, that's it.

Eleven years of history tucked away in my bag of memories now, it's all done. Today was my last day at work and it's officially over, I said a final goodbye to my empty office, turned and walked away with a heavy heart.


Many, many people are devastated by the acquisition and an abundance of hot tears were shed this afternoon, as reported by Vegas... I was lucky enough to have left early to run an errand so I missed the waterworks, but being at the tail end of three long weeks of mourning and winding down, I was actually relieved to walk away.

And so begins a new era.

Am happy to have attended my friend's funeral tonight, all this after getting an email from my dad that his little companion, a rescued mutt named Kemo, had passed away on November 3rd.

They spent every day together the past 7 years, 24/7. They were inseperable. It took him this long to be able to write a word to anyone, the grief being too great and overwhelming... He never thought it would hurt this much. How could I have warned him?

And so ends an era.

I'm tired.

I hope to sleep for a week.

Crossing fingers that I have a job interview next week though, it's looking quite promising... Yeah, I need to work for a bit before we move out of the city in the spring - crunching numbers gave us a realistic goal of April and I'm already counting down the days.

Enough time spent dreaming, now we're making it a reality.

Wouldn't anyone do the same?

/end of Friday Night Heartaches post/

Not! Again!

The mice are back. Got another one in the trap, dunno what it was eating since the bait was over a month old, but still. EEEWW!

I've been promised that an exterminator would be called, this was Wednesday night and still no news so guess the landlord will have to be phoned again - crap! crap! crap! Kept the little grey bugger in the dog freezer (I tossed his friends out a couple weeks ago, damn), I am so grossed out now it's not even funny.

*pause for breath*

Still at work today, it looks like Monday will be the last day - finally. What a slow excruciating death... And speaking of death, this evening I have to attend my friend's funeral so please excuse my sombre mood.

Sigh. Rain predicted all weekend, too.

On the bright side, my cheese scones rocked last night - served hot with melted butter, crisp on the outside and chewy on the inside (cuz of the cheese), I took a photo for you droolers out there and will post it tonight.

If you can wait that long :-D

Oh and check out today's Dog Blog (link on right-hand column, top). It's worth it if you need a giggle... and that ends today's contribution to the innernets, the mojo's taking a break.

/end of Happy Friday, Everyone! post/

Tap this!

"I really don't think I need buns of steel.

I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
~Ellen DeGeneres

I would sooo enjoy getting fat

Not being fat, just getting there.

I know you know what I mean.

I blame Vegas. Damn brit and his book collection, one of which was Nigel Slater's Toast. If you don't know the man, he's a famous chef in the UK, writes alot of kickass cookbooks and whatnot. Very yummy.

Anyways.

Toast is an autobiography of sorts where he goes through his childhood foods, a play by play of what he ate throughout the years and trust me, it includes alot of sweets. Ohhh dear lord, the sweets.

Only I didn't understand half of it due to cultural differences.

"Hunny, what's a treacle tart?"
"Hunny, what's mashed swede?"
"Hunny, what are Hobnobs?"
"Hunny, what's trifle?"

...and so on.

Yes Vegas is a very patient man :-)

For his efforts though, on my way home from work yesterday I stopped by a shop specialising in European food imports and found not one, but two kinds of biscuits mentioned in the book! OK I was dying to try them but I was sure the man would also be thrilled. He didn't disappoint!

I got Ginger Nuts and Hobnobs.

Reeeeeeeerrrrr!

After I'd stuffed my face with about five Ginger Nuts and two Hobnobs (this is pas 11pm at night, you know), Vegas giggles and metions that "possibly, Hobnobs are the most calorie-dense biscuit in the UK. Don't look on the package. Don't do it!"

So of course I looked.

Holy mother of jeebus. 190 calories and 9 grams of fat for two little cookies! BASTIDS! So not fair!

Best. Cookies. Ever.

*cries*

So yes, I have been enjoying getting fat the past week but now I have to say goodbye to those fries, burgers, danishes and mountains of bread. Vodka rosé sauce and tortellinis. Dim sums, cheese and ham calzones with meat sauce. Buttermilk biscuits. Chocolates, oh the chocolates. No wonder there's been hardly any room for fruits and veggies in my diet.

I am the michelin man in the making. My freaking thighs are close to rubbing together, how awful is that?

Been eating my emotions and this needs to stop! Normally my appetite disappears when I get stressed out, so am not sure wtf is happening here. Oh add the fact that I abhor any kind of exercise and well, there you go. Gaaaaah!

I seriously need help.

/end of Damn You, England! post/

Just wanted to say THANK YOU to Toughgirl101 for this lovely blog award...


It totally made my day!

I shall pass it along to a few special peeps, remember to pay it forwards!

Katie
Chica
Lady Banana
Daring
Frank

I think I gave awards to most everyone else before (Prin your blog is private so can't really direct people to it, they'll hate meh! LOL! But of course you get the award too).

Heck. Please, everyone: just take it! :-)

Diary of a BAD DOG

Sorry folks, I got nuthin today.

But the Dog Diaries (click link on top right colum) were updated, at least somebody had something to day. *shakes fist at melonhead*

Chat later...

*crawls back in cave*

Too blah to blog

My mojo's gone, sucked dry by days on end of pounding headaches, neck and shoulder muscle spasms, sleepless nights and a general sense of loss and mourning.

My last day at work is Thursday, my friend's funeral is Friday night, and after that I hope to sleep for a week to find myself again.

I'm scared shitless of the future.

I need a haircut

I want to have this hair again instead of the dry bale of hay on my head:

Why is my hairdresser pregnant? Sigh.

I also want some colour back, I look like a ghost with dark circles under her small red eyes (f*cking 5th day of pounding headache due to ugly knots in base of neck, grr).

I can't wait to get out of this polluted cramped city, where parking at night equals 15 minutes of fruitless circling around your neighborhood blocks so that the next morning, you're forced to drive to work to avoid a parking ticket and then there is still no parking anywhere so you pay $10 for a space in the day lot- mutter.

Does my mood show?

~insert moment of distraction, aka maths ~

5 days of headache
4 pieces of cake
2 degrees above freezing
27 eye drops
1 best man in the world
2 best doggies in the world
79 hugs and kisses
13 Advils
_____________
= 133 "good times"

We're all balanced out, then. Goody. Time to pretend to get back to work, answer some emails and avoid phonecalls that don't matter one bit anymore. I need a coffee IV.

/end of Blabbidy Bla post/

Crossroads

"You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore

and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice."

~Steven D. Woodhull

Monday scrambled eggs

I don't mean scrambled eggs on a plate with bacon and taters, I mean ideas, lots of ideas, a niagara of ideas tumbling out of our heads fighting it out onto the pavement.

Vegas said I need to get a notebook and write absolutely everything down, all the time, and from then on build a comprehensive plan of attack.

Attack of the she-lion, roaaar!

I've never been so excited about anything in my life before... this is for real, not a dress rehearsal nor a pipe dream. OMG. Gonna be my own boss, on my own turf, doing what I love best in the world. Hard to breathe!

*giddy*

OK well, still a couple more days left in the office, I should get to it... wrap things up, tie up loose ends, bring all my personal belongings home, and you know what?

I cannot imagine missing any of it. I just can't.

Is this what freedom feels like?

/end of Giddy! Giddy! Ha! Ha! post/

For Prin :-)

Tea and cake... as promised!

Tea and cake

Ah yes, another rainy Sunday afternoon... time for tea and cake, methinks.

*bliss*

Yesterday's dinner ended up being spaghetti, hot buttered buttermilk biscuits and red wine; will make the veggie chowder today, just ran out of gumption to cook yesterday and took the easy way out. But man, those biscuits kicked aaaass! I can't wait to make them again.

Headache again today, crunching meds and wanting to exchange a kidney for a two-hour massage. Sigh. Any takers?!

...Um. Yeah, so a weekend of video games, cooking shows, movies and... talking about options for our future. And I think we finally made serious headway today, walking the dogs on the mountain - fresh air does the brain alot of good, eh?

And so does a down-to-earth man who sees through the walls.

"What do you want to do with your life?"
"I don't know... I just want to make a difference and to work with dogs in a way"
"What are your goals?"
"For now, just making money for a few years to afford a house"
"There will always be a reason to hesitate - why not now?"
"But..."
"Shush, there are no "buts". Life is now. If you think about going back to work in an office, in a cubicle, doing what you've been doing - how do you feel?"
"I want to cry, it makes me feel sick... I feel like I'm in jail"
"So, there you go. This is it, this is the jumping point"
"What are you proposing?"
"How about opening up that luxury dog boarding kennel you've dreamed about?"
"Oh my god... are you serious?!"

...and from there sprang a whole slew of ideas and options. If I don't need to work in the city, if I can work from home out in the country - Vegas said he can commute a few times a week for his job, he doesn't mind at all. Plus he can work from home for most of the week, which is perfect.

We had planned on buying a house next spring and keep renting the city appartment but wow, that is just so stupid. Furnishing and maintaining two dwellings, what for?

This is it. Our chance.

I have a few months to research everything: properties, laws and bylaws, insurance, registering and running a business, drafing a business plan, getting a mortgage, getting a website up and running, etc etc.

By next spring, we could be out of this place. I could be working from home, doing something I love and truly believe in, making a difference in people's lives. Yes it's 10 hours a day for weeks on end but dammit, I can't wait any longer to start living -

This is the best Sunday EVER!

/end of Dreams Do Come True post/

Gorging on gorgeous

"Great food is like great sex.

The more you have the more you want."

~Gael Greene

Rainy Saturday is for cookins'

I still can't believe I slept until 11am.

Looked at the clock, uttered a shocked "whaaaat!" and then was ready go to back to sleep for another few hours. I kid you not.

Sigh. Guilt wrenched me out of the lovely warm, freshly-laundered bed (stoopid guilt) while the grey cold rain outside gave me the finger, so I retaliated by sinking back into the couch clutching a steaming hot latte that Vegas gave me, with a kiss.

Ah, yes. Weekends.

The dogs are comatose today, Vegas had to drag them outside for their morning walk (these are creatures that normally go bonkers at the sound of their collars and leash) so that should tell you what kind of sleeping gas is in the air today. *yawn*

Oh yeah, between loads of laundry I took out my emergency box of Duncan Hines spice cake and now the house smells like a proper rainy Saturday, with the cakes cooling in the kitchen almost ready for their cream cheese frosting (OK also from a can, but it's all I had!).

I shall make up for it in a bit by making, from scratch, warm buttermilk biscuits and a lovely creamy seven-veggie winter chowder - might have to get a bottle of wine to round up the dinner. We even have two movies to watch later.

Now if only the rain can ease up a bit so we can all go out for a walk, I need some air.

Time for cake, yay! I send you all a virtual piece :-D

/end of Weekend Is For Eating post/

PMS says: go home, girl

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. Pimples May Surface
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. People Make me Sick
8. Pardon My Sobbing
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
13. Potential Murder Suspect

Yep... I gots it, bad. Need to go rent a couple movies, get into my jammies and bury myself in the couch under a blanket for the rest of the day, downing hot chocolates. I'm so lucky Vegas puts up with my crap!

Gun to my head

I feel the pressure. The gun's not cocked or anything, but I still feel its presence: what the HELL am I going to do with my life now, job-wise?

Standing at the edge of a precipice, looking for a bridge. Vegas is my net but I can still see the abyss through the cracks.

I need to sit down and take stock, but this is wasting time, precious time. My legs are weak and I so need a break, but force of habit from running most of my life: stopping means failure.

I cannot fail.

The glimmer of hope that was a job offer earlier this week got extinguished as I do not want it, regardless of the awesome pay and coworkers: the commute would absolutely shatter me and the work itself is duller than cold oatmeal.

Am I not destined for greatness?

/end of Heart On A Tightrope post/

On zombies and marriage

This morning we were surrounded by zombies - click to see! I wonder what got into the drinking water... cuz I think it was contagious.

~ a snapshot of Vegas and TD a few hours ago ~

OK there was no breaking up, just a foggy-brained trip to City Hall to apply for a marriage license... ladies and gents, we're going for it.

The Big Hitching!

*insert drum roll*

January 10th, 2009!!

That is if I don't drive Vegas bonkers before then, he he. Anyways it's not the romantic ceremony, just the paperwork stuff we need to get done "just in case". There is no safety in a work visa, should anything go wrong... Our dream was to fly away to the Caribbean and get married barefoot in the sand, but with me out of a job now it's just not feasible.

I don't care. I love him, I want to spend my life with him. A piece of paper won't change that.

/end of No Need For Wedding Presents post/

Being alive is...

• being grateful for enjoying one more day on planet blue
• being thankful for having choices in life
• eating chocolate and saying fuckit to the calories
• being spoiled by a few warm sunny indian summer days
• trying to kill a splitting headache with Coke and Advil (doesn't work, LOL)
• writing a lame blogger post and not losing all readers at once
  

Rest in peace, my friend... goodbye.

Photo copyright Technodoll, 2008

Life is eternal, and love is immortal,
and death is only a horizon;
and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
~Rossiter Worthington Raymond

Shock, disbelief and utter sadness

I just got news from my friend. The police found his brother's body last Thursday but were only able to proceed with identification today.

The family is devastated and dealing with it as best as they can - I wish I could do more than just feel like a horse kicked me in the stomach. I am this close to being sick. Can condoleances ever ease the pain of losing a loved one?

I played pool with those two brothers just last year; I've known them since I was 15 years old and they've always just "been there". To think that one of them is gone... a sweet, gentle soul who never hurt a fly in his life -

It's so not fucking fair.

Gone missing

Got the news last night that one of my friend's brothers has gone missing since last Thursday.

He went in to his new job, went on a morning coffee break with some colleagues and just disappeared. My friend is frantic; the police have been alerted but so far, no sign of life.

I thought this shit only happened to "other people".

It stinks when you suddenly become the "other people".

/end of Worried Sick post/

Peace, out - or in?

"The real differences around the world today are not between Jews and Arabs; Protestants and Catholics; Muslims, Croats, and Serbs. The real differences are between those who embrace peace and those who would destroy it; between those who look to the future and those who cling to the past; between those who open their arms and those who are determined to clench their fists." ~William J. Clinton, 1997

I was a very bad girl this weekend...

After bemoaning the loss of my two very favorite pairs of jeans (when holes start appearing in the worst places, you know it's time to retire those suckers) I decided enough was enough, I needed to go shopping.

Reasons for retail therapy included:

~trauma of losing my job
~weeks of stress prior to losing my job
~impending cold bitter winter vs my flimsy summery pants
~weight gain + old tight pants = muffin top, a very depressing condition that only leads to more eating of chocolate
~because I deserve some new clothes dammit
~otherwise known as "fuckitall" therapy

Two thumbs up!!

I found two sexy awesome pairs of jeans, they cost a fortune but I was desperate. The last time I shopped, a size 27 fit nicely; how embarassing to have to hand the size 27's back over the top of the changing booth and ask the sales lady for "size 28 instead please, wait make that 29 if they're stretchy, they make pants smaller nowadays".

UUGGHHH.

I felt so shitty, I bought a cute winter jacket, a pair of warm winter boots and some flannel jammies. I'm so done with the crappy worn-out stuff, it's not even funny.

Oh, did I mention we woke up yesterday to find this shit happened to our car?

Yep. Some asswipe garbage-for-brains twit vandals took it upon themselves to key a bunch of cars on our street and "spare" us by twisting one of our car wipers into a little knot instead. I mean, what the fuck, man? Vegas did his best to straighten it out but it's still wrecked, we need to go buy another one now. What this world is coming to, I just don't know :-(

** then TD and Vegas go for a long walk on the mountain to blow some steam**

Woo! I got to use my superduper fantastic zoom lens and wow, it's a huge change from my other "normal" one. Definitely need both to capture the range - will post a few shots on the Bubblegum Diaries this week so you can see what I mean. The dogs had a ball, of course, and everybody was in a coma the rest of the day.

My hamstrings are pissed at me from all the hiking.

Ow ow ow ow.

Then, made a lovely thick fish chowder for dinner, we finished the bottle of wine and watched "Elisabeth, The Golden Age" - pretty good, actually - and now, well it's Monday, it's still cold and this afternoon we've got to head down to the town hall to apply for a marriage license.

Supposedly indian summer starts tomorrow.

*excited*

/end of Happy Monday post/

Genteel manners

"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place

but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."

~Dorothy Nevill

Sweet day

Mmm. Got an extra hour of sleep this morning, guilt-free: yay for daylight savings time! OK it'll be dark at 5pm now and it's 0C today (ie, 32F, ie fucking freezing) but hey, you can't have everything!

The sun is out, hot latte is warm in my belly and I get to try out my new camera lens today - been waiting all week for this moment. Yey!

In other news:

Patched things up with my dad: your advice of writing to him helped a LOT, plus his home situation seems to have improved a bit so I'm very relieved. We even chatted on the phone a couple of days ago and he admitted to weighing only 147 lbs now - did you just hear my heart break? - but he said he was eating again, whatever that means. We're going for a visit during the xmas holidays, maybe even before, I need to check in on him. Am still worried.

The work situation is OK again. I'm still there for another two weeks - until the legal acquisition close date - but we agreed on a severance package after a week of back-and-forth so I will walk away satisfied. Not happy that the company is dying though :-(

OK I need to get dressed so we can get some air, the doggies are giving me the evil eye and my lungs need the arctic cleansing.

Hope your weekends are all sunny!

/end of La La post/

Forget the lines

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.

~Danny Kaye