!! Happy New Year !!

We're away for the next couple of days, back online late Friday.

Possibly maybe :-)

So, I'd like to wish you all in a advance a very happy, healthy, successful and loving 2009 - after all, we've come this far so why not go one step further in our journey towards fulfilling our dreams?

For some, it will be a move across the country; for others a new job, a new relationship, a new baby, a new pet, a new home, a new blog... all new adventures. Doesn't matter what it is, as long as you keep moving.

And hey, if by next year you're still exactly as you are now, well that's good too - as long as you're happy, smiling and aren't wearing the same skivvies. Ewwww.

I leave you with a quote and a visual:

Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past. ~Henry Ward Beecher

See you all next year, folks!

\end of Life Rocks post\

I'm a smartie, not a delinquent!

I was supposed to work today but decided that life had to be bigger than a job, it really had to. Sick of office work.

So I took the day off and instead enjoyed a late night yesterday, a late sleep-in this morning, a very windy yet sunny walk with the kids in the field, two breakfasts, popcorn, then lunch... and now we're heading out to run errands downtown, followed by a leisurely pasta dinner and a drink or two.

Besides, it's my big boy's birthday today (he turns 5! oh my, how time flies...), it's the eve of New Year's Eve and I am learning to enjoy life rather than be a slave to the paycheck and what others think of me.

So yeah.

*smiles*

Blogland gets a tad deserted around the holidays so I don't feel too guilty about disappearing a bit, myself, however I do miss the busy gossipy times...

Tomorrow we drive out to my dad's in the boonies and his dial-up internet connection is a disaster sooo I don't think to be online much until next weekend. I'll have to leave you with some really juicy stuff before leaving, then.

Let me come up with something later ;-)

PS: Edited to add: click HERE to see unbelievable cuteness turned into beauty, after going through plenty of gangly :-D

\end of Happy Hooligan post\

Tastes like chicken

...and for today's lunch we have...

see more pwn and owned pictures

Or, as Prin put it... "no wonder ham tastes salty".

Monday morning blues

Or pinks.

Either way, going to work SUCKS.

Amen.

Is housewifing wrong?

I mean, I love working just as much as anybody else: the financial independence, the sense of accomplishment, the fun coworkers, the paycheck, the paycheck, the paycheck.

Sigh. Not looking forward to tomorrow morning, bleh! Why the fuck do I have to work, isn't everybody else still on holidays? *cries*

I think I wouldn't have minded being a 1950's housewife, to be honest. The tacky feathered mules, the dry martinis at 5pm, baking bread and scrubbing floors. Hours in the hair salon, gossiping about the friar boning his house cleaner. Greeting my husband at the end of the day with a hot meal, spending his money on new wallpaper for the guest bedroom. That kind of thing.

OK, I'm kidding!

A little.

Getting my own business off the ground will be house-wifey, though, don't you think? I mean I will get to stay home most of the day, decorating and painting the kennel, our house, landscaping our gardens. I'll be dogsitting once we have clients, so that'll be like having kids in a way.

I'll have to feed them, do the dog laundry, exercise and groom them. I can have that beer in the middle of a hot summer day if I so choose, and when things are quiet I'll finally have a kitchen big enough to bake bread in.

Hey! Housewife to the doggies, LOL! I hope Vegas won't mind...

It's my dream life, and it will all come true in a few months.

Hard work up ahead. Very hard.

I can't freaking WAIT!

In the meantime, it's up again at 7am tomorrow morning for a day in jail, oops I mean the office, and then another one, and then a few days off to celebrate the New Year. We're driving to my dad's (with the furkids), thankfully Vegas drives now so I can relax in the car on the way up. I suck at driving long distances. Meaning further than 30 minutes.

*hangs head in shame*

So tired. I rested on boxing day but that was it. Got swollen raw hamburger instead of back muscles, breathing hurts and there's nothing I can do except take anti-inflamatories and hope for the best.

Wow listen to me, I'm turning into an old gummer. I should take my glass of ovaltine and head to bed for 8:30pm to complete the picture.

Sorry, folks :-o

\end of Miserable Cow post\

Winter moon

Brew me a cup for a winter's night.
For the wind howls loud and the furies fight;
Spice it with love and stir it with care,
And I'll toast our bright eyes,
my sweetheart fair.
~Minna Thomas Antrim

Bitchin' bargains!

Books. I like books.

I like going to the bookstore and finding a bargain table right there for my greedy little hands to paw through, awesome books that I would have paid a lot more to get anyways (they were 4 for $10! woohooo! I got 8 books today!).

What I don't like is when these books get SO good, that I'm left incapable of putting them down until the wee hours of the night, then I can't sleep cuz the book still isn't done and my brain's on 5th gear and aren't the damn holidays supposed to be netting me MORE sleep, not LESS?

Books. I have a love\hate relationship with the really good ones.

Oh and the super loud giant snowplows were clearing our street at 2am too. It's a conspiracy to make us all living zombies.

Sean Of The Dead is on TV right now, seems appropriate.

So today is a giant ice-rink outside, one of my dogs went down the cement stairs on her chin and Vegas followed on his arse. He's been limping all afternoon, the poor man. It's impossible to walk anywhere since the sidewalks are pure suicide, it's raining and foggy and absolutely gross outside - a perfect day to snuggle on the couch with hot tea and homemade sweets.

Really, is there anything better than getting a tin full of your favorite childhood treats as a Christmas gift, baked specially for you by your mom?

I didn't think so :-D

Next Christmas, when I finally have a kitchen, I'm going crazy with the baking and since we'll be broke with a big mortgage on our backs, I guess everyone's going to have to be happy with tins of goodies instead of store-bought presents.

I can already hear the cheering!

Right, I need to go back to my book and perhaps some popcorn now - check out the ice-capades photos on my photo and dog blogs if you want to have a laugh.

\end of Bruises Glorious Bruises post\

Boxing day is for...

...lazing around in jammies all day, eating cake and watching bad 80's horror films on the telly.

...feeling grateful, warm and fuzzy about the Christmas holidays this year - what a blast!

...not shopping. Fuck that!

...watching Vegas break a tourette's sweat courting his kettlebells. I wish I were half that brave, specially since I need to fit in my wedding dress in two weeks.

...debating on whether to take a nap or not. Neck is sore and headache won't go away yet I'm too lazy to sleep. Go figure.

...cuddles. Lots and lots of cuddles.

/end of Boxing Day Bravo post/

Short and sweet

...I would like to wish you all a very...

May the season's jolly joys warm the cockles of your heart, may the hang-overs be gentle and the family feuds non-existent! Oh and you can eat all the sweets you want the next two days, they're magically free of calories during this short window once a year.

S'true.

Santa told me so!

Thanks for the kind comments on my last post (except Vegas and Mike, you meanies!), as you know I'm so short on time for blogging since I started this new job that I prefer visiting your blogs and chatting there rather than answering you individually in my posts. Maybe I just need to manage my time better?!

*ponders about getting a maid and a chef*

Ah yeah, one can always dream :-D

Well, we're almost ready for the big celebrations here. I just need to put the finishing touches on Vegas' gifts before everything gets piled up under the tree, the beer is cooling in the fridge, tonight's picnic stuff is ready, the ooey gooey butterscotch caramel lava cake will be baked soon - for you quebecois, that's a fancy way to describe un pouding chômeur! - and tomorrow's food & presents are all ready to bring over to my brother's for the family dinner. Just pray the roads are clear, driving anywhere this time of year is taking your life into your own hands.

So. I can almost kick back and relax soon! Wooooo! All this after having worked this morning, too... thankfully I'm off until next Monday, looking forward to lots of zzz's and shopping.

What? I'm a girl! Everything's on sale!

Be good, be brave, be happy and be sure to do only what your heart is happy doing, no matter what that is. Ciao!

/end of Off To Sex Up Santa Now post/

Long-overdue rant

My blogging gumption is sitting on a back burner these days... Have ya noticed?

*opens eyes wide in astonishment*

Days are strange lately. Been having quite a few heated discussions with Vegas over trivial stuff, which end in us yelling at each other and it's so crappy. It never lasts long and there is plenty of making up afterwards but I'm left every time with a residual feeling of "yuck" that is hard to shake. So dumb and most of it is my fault, which I blame on extreme tiredness and feeling frustrated that my life is on hold until April or so. Until we buy our house in the country and get the fuck out of this city, until I can finally set up my dog kenneling business.

Facing a long, harsh winter isn't optimal, either.

Right, OK, it's not all doom and gloom since it's Christmas super soon, then New Year's, then we get married, we have a short honeymoon, it's my bday not long after that, then St-Valentines, then Vegas leaves for a week-long visit to the UK. At that point I will probably officially lose my mind.

I might need to hand out shovels to you guys so you can scrape me off the sidewalk like old dog doo.

Almost lunchtime, then another long undending afternoon of work. Then one more tomorrow. Then five glorious days off. I can do it, I can do it, babysteps will lead me to springtime and to my life-long dream. Must not falter, must keep my head high towards the horizon.

Is that Santa I hear?

/end of Lord Jeebus or Elvis Help Meh! post/

*Nods sagely*

Tomboys are an assertion of reality, of practicality.
Forced femininity is a waste of energy and resources,
and therefore of oneself. Live to live.
~Morgan Torva

Snow day

It's a winter white-out today... Big, fat lazy snowflakes piling up into giant snowdrifts and covering everything in a soft white blanket of pretty. Sure am glad we don't have to drive anywhere in the next couple of days, the roads are a nightmare and will likely be worse tomorrow.

I took the kids out twice this afternoon for a play in the snow, it was that lovely. Now the weekend draws to a close and I hardly saw any of it go by... Still 2.5 work days to go before I can kick back and enjoy the holidays, and I need to get crackin' on a few things - Christmas stockings don't fill themselves, unfortunately!

Hope you all had a lovely weekend and to all Montrealers, happy shoveling! :-)

Bizarre sex poll

So according to recent voters, sex happens pretty much weekly or hardly at all - how does that work?!

*ponders, then gives up*

Only three days left until Christmas Eve and I work two of those days. Ack! At least all the presents are wrapped for the fambly gathering on the 25th and I also managed to spend over two hours tonight wrapping Vegas' gifts, too. Stupid paper, so beautiful yet so difficult to tape on account of the sparklies. WHAT was I thinking!

I still need to put all the bows and bling on them before Santa puts them under the tree on Wednesday.

What? He works for free for two days per year, might as well use him. It's a good thing, too, cuz I kinda blew my budget (again) this year.

It's crazy, really.

No matter how many gifts I get, it never seems like it's enough. Or that they're OK. I hate consumerism and prefer to spread thoughtful and sweet gifts throughout the year yet here I am, suckered into the hype and stressed about it all being perfect. It MUST be perfect.

*hides under couch*

But ya know... it IS a special day, we decorated this year cuz it's important to Vegas and it grew on me. It's his first year away from `home` (ie Britland) and I want this Christmas to be special, after all this is his forever home now... Nothing wrong with starting our life together on the right foot. With red stockings.

Other random thoughts:

I need to catch up on blogs, this is ridiculous. Where does time fly?!

Finally slept last night after 3 days of utter insomnia. I hope to repeat it tonight.

Any suggestions for stocking stuffers? I'm stumped this year.

I've done no Christmas baking this year, it's so sad :-(

Tomorrow's snow storm is gonna make getting around the city impossible again for a few days. Crap. Just when I need to do groceries for festivus!

And so life goes on, one blitz day at a time. I hope you are all well and on holidays (lucky bastids), let's not lose sight that tomorrow, December 21st, is the shortest day of the year and after that it's all uphill. Yey! Now that is what I call season's cheer!

/end of Spread It Like A Turkey post/

A toast to the weekend

Wine is sunlight, held together by water.
~Galileo

Insomnia, I cast thee OUT!

If I don't get a proper night of sleep, I may just keel over and die of exhaustion.

So not fair: tossing and turning for hours, not being able to sleep yet too tired to get up and do anything else is a helluva lot of work, but apparently not enough for the stupid BRAIN to STFU and submerge, already! All this WITH sleeping pills too!

*sighs dramatically*

I'm looking forward to the holidays not for the presents nor for the food, but for the few days of vacation time to be able to blog! And sleep!

My best sleeping hours are between 3 and 9am.

Is that weird?

*fights not to nod off in mid-sentence*

We got our weddings ring made last week, we pick them up this Saturday. Oooo! We went with white gold (to be original... LOL!) and got them engraved, hopefully on January 10th I won't find out that my ring sports something like Pwned! or Now You Shall Obey! You never know, with Vegas...

I kid, I kid. He wouldn't do that to me.

This is just about the most boring post ever written. I'm sorry!

/end of Calling The Sandman post/

On evolution

When you are through changing, you are through.
~Bruce Barton

How to make me smile...

First, you could visit my Snapshots Blog to see the pretty winter photos, and remind me that it will melt soon (soon, right?) and everything will be all right. Right? Yes. OK then!

Second, you could be sweet as my blogger friend Dolce who, out of the goodness of her heart on a crummy winter Monday, handed me this beautimous award!

Thanks, girl! I loves it!
Third, you could gracefully accept that I pass it along to a few awesome bloggers... The rule of the award is to write about 5 addictions then pass the kudos to 5 bloggers (I think). In no particular order, I'm addicted to:

• Blogging (DUH)
• Hair conditioner
• Eye drops
• Vegas cuddles
• Potato chips

OK not super thrilling but it's 10pm right now and you can't polish a turd. I will now try to pass the award to people I missed the last time:

Busy Bee, for being both such a faithful and entertaining blogger but also a reader whose comments and insights I look forward to every day.

The lovely Sian for making me dream. Her life is a fairytale, which she captures beautifully with every post. You'll have to read her to understand.

Roshan, who is one of the most prolific and passionate bloggers that I know. Never a dull moment over in his space! Oh and did you know he's in India? Yeah. Maybe he'll send me some sun in a can now, LOL!

Mike, who will be humiliated to get such a `girlie award` so half the pleasure is in torturing him. He he. OK seriously, it hurts to read his posts because half of me is laughing to stitches and the other half is grimacing in eeeeew! (that is a compliment)

The Constantly Dramatic One should get her very own award just cuz she's so damn ossum. She tells it like it is, baby! And I like it!

Now I'm off to bed cuz Mondays shouldn't be stretched into infinity.

Peace, out!

/end of Have You Seen My Mojo? post/

On the bright side...

Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.
~P.J. O'Rourke

Mondays are for monkeys

Office monkey. That's my new, self-apposed title.

Sigh.

I have a feeling I'll be slugging back alot of coffee today... just a hunch. That's what you get for slacking off on a Friday, I guess.

Seeing as I'm short on time for blogging these days - and I don't see it getting better - I hope you won't mind if I don't respond to you individually in post comments anymore. I'd rather spend that time reading your stuff and commenting there - hey, it's all about priorities, LOL!

Thanks for all your lovely comments on my last post, the one about the grannie. I'm glad it brought you all comfort and a smile.

However, I didn't post it to get kudos or anything, but I thought it was such a perfect illustration of Karma and being linked, and also the incident affected me so much, well, I couldn't stay quiet about it. The counterbalance to all of this are all the homeless people that litter the sidewalks full of Christmas shoppers, sitting there freezing and some of them crying - specially the old ones - it all makes me feel ill, sick to my stomach.

I can't help them all and even giving them a bit of money isn't really helping, it's a tiny band-aid and that's it. Society is limping, crippled on broken crutches and I just have to learn to deal with it. I guess.

But the damn least I can do is take charge when Karma says ¨here you go¨. I don't want thanks for it, I want to be able to sleep at night without my conscience kicking me in the shins.

Gotta love the conscience.

\end of Life Is A Circus post\

'Tis the season to... Not Diet!

Great food is like great sex.
The more you have the more you want.
~Gael Greene

Everything for a reason

My below post from last night about following your inner guidance wasn't random...

Something pretty awesome happened to me yesterday and I'd like to share it with you.

I left work about half an hour before my usual time, turned left to walk home and there, on the street corner, an old lady stopped me to ask for directions to the welfare office.

I had to remove my iPod headphones and ask her to repeat the question a few times as she had no teeth and I couldn't understand what she was saying. She was lost, cold, hard of hearing, had a thick cataract in one eye, was illiterate and had a hard time keeping her balance on the super icy and snowy sidewalk.

I didn't know where the welfare office was but I couldn't leave her there - the more questions I asked her, the more I had to help her. She was such a sweet granny too, answering as best she could and just hanging onto my arm for dear life.

She had apparently taken the bus from across town with her roommate, whom she lost sight of near my office. She said she was 64 but she looked 84 and wasn't entirely coherent - she didn't know her address nor her phone number and kept repeating things.

At first I thought she'd be OK if I brought her to the subway station so I gave her a ticket (she didn't have a penny on her), but as we shuffled along and I asked more questions, it became obvious there was no way in hell I could leave her alone.

It took us 20 minutes to walk 2 blocks!

We finally made it to a city access office and at the information counter I found out that indeed, there was a welfare center on the 3rd floor... which had closed 10 minutes before we got there.

So my only other option was to put her in a cab and pay the driver to take her home - only, where did she live?

I asked to see her wallet for ID, and was dismayed to find only 3 hospital cards in it. With 2 different addresses and not one matched what she was telling me where she lived.

No ID, no money, no transit card, NOTHING.

Although she had on clean and relatively new clothes, she had no purse, no winter boots, no scarf and her coat didn't button all the way to her neck. With the temps starting to plummet way below freezing in the dark, I could do only one thing: walk her to the police station which, luckily, was just next door.

Montreal police ROCK.

The immediately asked me what the situation was and just took charge. They searched their database for her name, the name of her roommate (who also had the appartment key, apparently) while I supplied her with endless tissues so she could finally blow her nose.

It was taking a while so they asked for my contact info and assured me they would make sure she got home safely, not to worry and to go home. I guess they must be used to elderly people wandering and getting lost...

Gawd, it was hard to leave her.

How the hell does one get attached to a toothless, rambling grannie so quickly?

I felt like I was put there at the right time and at the right place to make a difference. What would have happened to her if I had left work 5 minutes earlier or 5 minutes later? And why was I compelled to be so protective of her like that?

That's what I meant about Karma, about believing that something ties us together, about doing what your inner voice guides you to.

I hope she got home OK and that someone is taking care of her. I hope she's not alone, I hope she has enough to eat, I hope she's not cold. Fuck. Why didn't I stay and get her phone number at least, so I could call and check today.

Hard to let go.

Very hard.

\end of Inner Turmoil post\

On being yourself

Every time you don't follow your inner guidance,
you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness.
~Shakti Gawain

Gods and monsters*

*refers to a song by Psyche, youtube it if you're interested

So, my question from yesterday's post seemed to have piqued some curiosity. I guess I should have been more specific... When I asked if you believed in God, I rather meant God as in a deity, a higher power or being, or even gods plural if you wish.

In my mind there is a clear distinction between "deity" and "religion" as to me, the two are mutually exclusive. You can believe in both, in only one of the two, or in neither; you don't have to believe in religion to have faith in a higher being.

I'm not sure what I believe in. I've not seen or experienced any evidence of "God" and I certainly don't believe in religion, however I'd like to believe we are all linked by some higher power out there... maybe Karma? I mostly do believe in a spiritual afterlife of sorts, of reincarnation and the like - but not linked to a God or to religion, if that makes sense to you.

And then again, this wavers depending on the events going on in my life at the time ;-)

The funny thing is that close to 80% of the world's population has Faith, they maybe don't all believe in the same thing but they believe in something.

I don't mind being part of a minority, and I totally respect what the majority is doing as long as it works for them. Like they say: "Whatever makes you happy!" It's when faith and religion come to blows, browbeating and fanaticism that I draw the line. Don't push your beliefs on others and everybody will get along just fine.

Aetheists get crapped on all the time for being "religion haters" and whatnot but really, they represent 20% of the pie. How many wars can they spurn in the name of Nothing?

On the other hand, crusades, religious wars, sects, screaming preachers, kids with bombs strapped to their chests in the name of their God... the extremists that poison it for everyone. That's just wrong, plain wrong.

Love your Gods but please, respect those that love other Gods or don't believe in them at all.

Is that so difficult?

/end of Crawls Back Into Non-Conformist Cave post/

On poetry

"To be a poet is a condition, not a profession."
~Robert Frost

Thursday drive-by posting

OK people, you need to start voting on the poll now (please!) cuz I'm really super curious: are you all thieves? Or are thieves just particularly attracted to polls? LOL!

Not much to report besides work eating up most of my days... Evenings should be for running Christmas errands but it's a suicide ice rink out there the past two days sooo until the fecking city salts the sidewalks, me staying home and out of crutches!

Tonight's dinner is silky cream of butternut squash soup served with a dollop of sour cream, fresh baguette, pâté and some red wine. A perfect light, warm winter dinner. I need to work on a bunch of pics for my Snapshots Blog if my brain doesn't fall into a giant coma first... The weather might have been shite lately but it sure produced gorgeous exotic ice-wrapped trees that sparkled in the sun this morning, so I took advantage of that while I could.

Inspiration's been sorely lacking lately, so when the mojo hits: ya take it.

Ending the post with a loaded question:

Do you believe in God?

/end of What A Question! Post/

Dr. Suess Bible

One of the best Kids In The Hall sketches ever! I dare you to watch and NOT giggle!

Happy slippery, wet, icy, cold and miserable Wednesday, everyone!

Ain't got nuthin'

My brain's as empty as a bag of oreo cookies on snacking night. Wrung out like a towel after a wash n'spin cycle. Flat as a pancake.

Mmmm. Pancakes.

We got a crapload of snow today, I think it's quite pretty and refreshing... Mind you, the car's under a white mound right now (I love my seven-minute walk to work) so I didn't have to deal with any commute nightmares - thinking of poor Prin here, among others - I send you all virtual booze to unwind!

Or a punching bag, whichever you need most.

I'll bet it all melts within two days, just for the hell of it. Yey! Mucky salty slush!

My to-do list is about a mile long now. How did Christmas get to be only 15 days away all of a sudden? WTF? I've almost no shopping done, zero wrapping, and the stores are now bursting at the seams so the hell if I want to get crushed in there - aaaaaaa!

These 40+ hours of work during the week are really putting a dent in my lifestyle.

Crap!!!

/end of Must Get An Early Night post/

Alternate realities

The Great Way has no gate.
Clear water has no taste.
The tongue has no bone.
In complete stillness, a stone girl is dancing.
~Seung Sahn

The first Noel...

Considering that so far, our "first anythings" have been pretty crappy - I hope that today has turned our luck around and that we're good from now on...

Our first Christmas together should be rockin'!

Vacation days are all set and family visits planned out, nothing too stressful but no boring bits either, woohooo! We be happy. I promised Vegas I'd try to get into the holiday spirit because "I love him that much" and it might be rubbing off on me.

Or the garlands and tacky decorations he hung everywhere are laced with air-released drugs. Wheeee! Only they did nothing to tame the freaking headache :-(

So. Saturday we went to pick out our tree, a fragrant six-foot tall baby that we named Gene. Got him all settled in to stretch and warm up and then found out that Gene is an alcoholic.

Gene drinks.

And drinks.

How can a tree possibly drink so much water?? Geez! And then for our thanks he shed a crapload of needles everywhere... Ah well, it's the price to pay for the real thing, eh? He sure smells good.

Today we got lights and a bright star for the top, put on our santa hats and the cheesy 1950's "Christmas classics" music and went crazy with the decorations!

Naked Gene: Trussed-out Gene:

The Vegas who stole my hat:

Do I tell him he looks silly, or do you?... he he.

We had a blast today and I'm sad the weekend disappeared so quickly. Now starts another long week of work, arctic temperatures (for the next two days) and the countdown to Christmas Crazy. Hope you all enjoy it too!

/end of Another Evaporated Weekend post/

Guess who visited today

Yep. "The PMS headache". Regular headaches and even migraines can be controlled and tamed with meds but oh nooo, the PMS bitchy jackhammer head refuses to budge no matter how many drugs you throw at it. Bastid.

Will blog tomorrow with an update on the weekend cuz I know you all want to see the "before" and "after" pics of the christmas tree!

I'll even throw in a photo of Vegas in a santa hat as a bonus.

/end of I Need Morphine post/

I get to marry a shark!

He he. A pool shark.

Last night we went out to play a few rounds with some friends, knocked back some beers and holy shit, Vegas had us all fooled:

"I'm very bad at pool"
"No, I swear I'm crap at it"
"I only played videogame pool"
"OK I used to play snooker like 15 years ago"

Good thing that I was on his team (cuz I seriously can't play to save my life), had I known he could clear a table by sinking impossible spectacular shots, hell I would have put money on the game and that would have paid for the christmas tree we bought this afternoon!

I'm seriously impressed.

He totally got some this morning, he he!

*stretches kinks out of neck*

I want to go out for vietnamese food tonight but gawd, I think I'm still full from Thursday night's cheese fondue party. We went to a friend of ours for dinner and, in true gay man fashion, he plied us with booze, a fondue fit for kings and speaking of kings (think Elvis here) dessert was:

"Kevin's Super Trashy Southern-Style Apple Dumplings"

Peel, core and halve a few apples.
Wrap each piece in Pillsbury Crescent Roll dough.
Place in baking dish, cover with thick mixture of melted butter, brown sugar and cinnamon.
Pour half a can of Mountain Dew over the whole thing.
Bake for 40 minutes in a 350 degree oven.

Serve warm with vanilla bean ice cream.

I swear on my mother's head, you will NEVER guess the ingredients to that recipe unless you see it made. One bite and I was in heaven, the kind where your mouth is so happy you forget sex exists.

Yes, it's that good. Sex In A Pan.

Right. OK. I'm packing on the calories and pounds like crazy and it's nowhere near crimmas yet... Sigh. I need to find a way to exercise, painlessly, in this crappy time of year. Too cold for walking, no snow yet so nothing to roll around in with the doggies.

Oh and yes, the naked tree is slowly warming up in a corner of the livingroom, it smells so nice. I was totally against the whole "let's decorate this place gaudily" shinding Vegas was insisting on, but now that we went out and got a bagful of kitch, I think it'll be a blast.

Cheesy christmas music from iTunes: check
Tons of tinsel garlands, knick-knacks, stars and candy canes: check
Stockings for the doggies: check
Santa hats in His and Hers: check
Seven year-old Havana Club rhum: check

Looks like we're all set!

/end of Happy Weekend To Everyone post/

Ode to children

"Children are contemptuous, haughty, irritable, envious, sneaky,

selfish, lazy, flighty, timid, liars and hypocrites,

quick to laugh and cry, extreme in expressing joy and sorrow,

especially about trifles, they'll do anything to avoid pain

but they enjoy inflicting it: little men already."
~Jean de La Bruyère, Les Caractères, 1688

What I want for Christmas…

..a haircut
..a business plan for the kennel
..bigger boobs
..dogs that bath themselves
..a healthy liver so I can drink at parties
..a two hour massage three times a week
..to only need five hours of sleep per night
..sterility (yey no more birth control!)
..a jacuzzi tub

...and what I will probably get for Christmas:

..two days off work
..horrid wrapping paper that keeps tearing
..lineups in grocery stores
..a hangover or two
..no sleep
..a cold
..long hours of driving to see fambly
..an angry credit card statement

Yey! Best time of year evah!

/end of Sarcastic post/

Making haste

"I don't know why it is we are in such a hurry to get up when we fall down.

You might think we would lie there and rest for a while."

~Max Eastman

Fun with Jeebus

First: good morning!

Second: it's a bit strange writing a post in the evening so that it shows up in the morning... Since days at work are now too busy to troll blogland, I don't want to lag behind too much on blabla sooo this is what I gots to do.

*pats self on back for effort*

Work is going well, the people are so very nice and hey, every Wednesday morning is fruit day! Platters of fresh sweet juicy sliced fruit, cheese and crackers for everyone. Nice! And the first Friday of each month is beer afternoon - which happens to be THIS week. How lucky can I be? LOL!

Still, my brain's reeling. I haven't gotten a real night of sleep in over a week. So frustrating... gonna resort to sleeping aids tonight. Yeah. Wine and nytol!

So. Vegas is nutters - see what he made me watch??


ROTFLMAO!! I almost cried laughing! Who thinks of these things?! Could be a good demo for the churches... imagine the slogans?

On another tangeant, the current poll results are a bit surprising. Either people who read this blog are liars, or they have low standards when choosing a partner. OK I kid, I kid! You guys rock.

/end of And Now I Have To Roll post/

In lieu of a post... food for thought

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in.
~Leonard Cohen

The eyes have it!

If you want to know why I don't leave the house without makeup, maybe the below photos will set the story straight. My skin is splotchy, my eyes are normally so dry they look like cherries, I have to pencil in my brows and there's nothing I can do about those damn wrinkles *cries*

However!

The geniusses (geni?) behind war paint - aka makeup - are my superman, here is a sample of what good stuff can do!

No eye makup on yet:

Now with L’Oréal Double Extension Beauty Tubes Mascara and some eye shadow:

See? No contest! It's Zombirella va Captain Glam!

I really love the stuff: it glides on smooth (a freaking miracle to find a mascara that does NOT clump!), the white base coat is a bit creepy at first but then it gets 100% covered by the coloured mascara - I am wearing black - and... best of all... it washes off very easily with soap and water! Another miracle, LOL!

Ya know, it's supposed to retail in Canada for about $15 a tube but I love it so much that I'd bite the bullet and actually buy some. And if you know thrifty me... you know that's a huge endorsement!

Girlies, don't hesitate to try it for yourselves! (except those who are born with natural beauty and don't need to wear any makeup. No bragging here either, please! *shakes fist*)

/end of Wow I Love This Stuff! post/

Stretch, yawn, collapse

"One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown

is the belief that one's work is terribly important."
~Bertrand Russell

Looong and sexay!

Yey! The lovely folks at Matchstick.ca have once again pinged me to be part of a new Word Of Mouth (WOM) marketing campaign, this one for L’Oréal Paris Double Extend Beauty Tubes Mascara. Look at the amazing kit I received to kick it all off!

[click photo to enlarge details]

A set of cosmetic brushes, an eye shadow quad, liquid eyeliner and two tubes of Double Extend Beauty Tubes Mascara, all in a practical travel bag.

Mission:

Try the product, compare it with what I normally use (and other mascaras I have used in the past), give it a rating and a performance review, discuss it with you gals - cuz let's face it, I doubt that many of my man-fans wear mascara much - and hopefully spread the good word on this new item!

Yes, I wear makeup on a quasi-daily basis... at my age one needs all the face bling possible to pull attention away from the dark undereye circles and wrinkles! Life is fatiguing, you know.

*picks lint off feathered slipper*

I'm away at work all day with - gasp! - no blogging access so I count on you all to behave until my return tomorrow night.

And then you shall see pics of my eyes :-D

/end of Hot Damn I Wish I Were On Vacation post/