Bonne nuit!

A good laugh and a long sleep

are the best cures in the doctor's book.

~Irish Proverb

Scarf, hat, mittens

Here we go again! oh man... the wind blew something FIERCE and COLD today! It was either take a taxi home or buy a scarf so I wouldn't freeze walking, so I bought a scarf of course. Always Miss Practical. Took the kids for a romp - wrapped in my winter jacket - had an early dinner, tidied up the place and here I am, in jammies and sipping a hot choc. Brilliant eh? Today is May 1st and I hope it gets better. warmer. more spring-like, you know?

I am sooo looking forward to this weekend, I get a new camera - wooo! OK yes I know, I just got a new camera for christmas... a super nice one, too. Long story short, the new super-duper lens finally arrived and bf picked it up Saturday, which completed the ensemble. Well it's ridiculous. It's a ginormous and tedious contraption that weighs like 15 pounds, I can hardly hold up the camera now, I mean it was huge and clunky to begin with but now?! AARGGH! I hated it on sight! so much! i threw a fit and cried, just so disappointed... it wasn't what I wanted in the first place and now it's completely un-useable.

Thank god i have the most understanding and loving bf in the world... sure he was disappointed at my reaction, as he only wanted to get me the best toy on the market - but i explained to him that what others rate as the best, is not necessarily what i want or need. I didn't want to be ungrateful and that made me even more upset - uugghh. So the conclusion is, he wants to keep the camera, he'll get good use out of it. He'll return the fancy lens and get the more basic one back (which is still excellent), and with the difference in money he'll buy me a new camera- but one i can actually choose myself! yeeyy. So it'll be christmas all over again, how cool is that? It'll even match the weather, LOL!

Already dark outside.. watching Two and a Half Men, love that show. later peeps!

Reach for the sun

It hurts, ok?

My head and neck. My girlie parts, thanks to that-time-of-the-month. And some bits of my heart. Don't ask me to explain because it's even obscure for me right now. I was just writing to my friend Ili that it makes no sense: have a fantastic network of loving friends and family, a great job, most of my health, a supportive and amazing bf, two wonderful furkids - what more could i possibly want? what. the. fuck.?

Ugghh. I can't endure myself sometimes, I wonder how others can. Like a wet noodle flapping in the wind, I am. Maybe I'll go buy myself something pretty after lunch to cheer myself up... yeah, that'll work. I feel better already. (not).

I hope you all give your opinion on the poll (scroll down a bit, it's on the right-side). That's been bugging me for a while now... why do people stay in loveless marriages, or relationships, "for the kids"? Right now, at least three of my very good friends are scratching their heads, trying to find a way out of the mess they dug themselves into. They're stuck, they're unhappy, no doubt their wives are unhappy too by the sounds of it. No passion, no sex, no common interests besides the kids. Fights. Silences. Accusations. Dark looks and tension.

That's one of the reasons I never wanted any kids, and I kiss the ground (mouah! mouah!) that I held onto that dream. I may not have a perfect situation but my god, I can leave whenever I want and not be strapped down by 3rd-party obligations and duties. I rent my appartment, I lease my car, I am not bound to anyone by marriage. I am a free bird, with big outstretched wings... ok so I have a little glue on my feet right now but so what... it'll melt away someday when the time comes. All it takes is a little warm sun.

Shine on, baby!

My thoughts, exactly!

Wind in my sails

"There are some people who live in a dream world,

and there are some who face reality;

and then there are those who turn one into the other."

Douglas H. Everett

It's No Good

Well not really, the video is quite terriffic actually, LOL! probably because it's one of the only times Depeche Mode laughs at itself... themselves... whatever. Love the song, check out the hot chicks and Slick Dave in parody: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLkirXxRXCw

In stark contrast to "Barrel of a Gun": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yULYoX50a4 how cool is that, eyes painted on eyelids... a total drug trip.

Doesn't youtube rock? One big hand of applause, ladies and gentlemen! woo! connecting the planet with one click, right now filling my head with amazing sights and sounds, been tapping my foot and grinning like an idjit the past hour watching all kinds of old favorite videos and live performances. Gotta take a break soon, Desperate Housewives is on in 5 minutes, should be an interesting show tonight.

The sun finally did come out today, as we were running the kids in the field. wow, it's almost all green now, poof and it's lush. Also went tanning and you know, it wasn't a bad weekend at all, considering my mental and physical states. Had a lovely baked fennel and carrots for dinner, no appetite for much else, and of course some m&m's cuz it's chocolate craving time, again. grrr.

Wow that's alot of posts today. Making up for last week I guess... and I haven't even begun to talk about the REAL stuff yet.

Sucky chores, grrr

I am SO not in the mood today. GGHHHAA! Got the dog food and left an arm and a leg at the cash, then did both the grocery store and the fruit store, circled the few blocks around here for 15 minutes before finding a parking and by that point my blood pressure had pretty much skyrocketed into a blasting headache, FUCK i hate the crowded city sometimes!!

Deeeeeeeeeeeep breath...

There are still some bags in the car I need to haul up but most of the stuff is put away, the laundry's done, the kids are fed and happy, the rain has stopped and Mister Tax Guy should be here any moment to do the yearly paperwork. Like hell I'm gonna split my head for hours filling out gov'ment forms... although to boil it down, it pretty much looks like this:

Line 1: How much money did you make last year?
Line 2: Send it to us.

Fuckers. But since we have no choice... I just gotta look the other way, sign the papers, and hope it's not too bad this year eh? Right now bf is finishing up the gross job of dusting this cruddy place, he vacuumed and it helps so much, thank god for him. Although I normally don't mind cleaning and find it relaxing actually, some days I can't stand it and I get mental hives, you know? Like today. Yep.

Gonna go hide in the minuscule kitchen now to make the kids their anti-oxydant veggie, fruit and barley mush that I mix in with their raw meat meals, one batch lasts about a month or so. I also want to make something nice for dinner, stocked up on fresh veggies so YUM let's see what happens... also will help bf make the week's fruit salad, I do feel like peeling and chopping.

So there you have it. A freaking boring, mundane and pointless day of chores, haven't seen or spoken with any friends or family, haven't done anything fun or exciting or rewarding. Yet. Will definitely get a bit of tanning in and go running in the field with the dogs to get some PMS bitchiness out, if that doesn't work oh well at least I tried.

Again sorry for being boring today. (( hugs )) out to the universe.

Sunday moments

Mmm slept pretty well -thank you dear Shiraz! - got up at 10am today... could easily have slept longer on this cold rainy morning but there's just too much to do! Am now sitting here finishing the obligatory drug (aka hot creamy latte, so dreamy!) and will soon be off to run errands... last load of laundry is in the dryer now, the kitchen's clean, the bed is made, yadi yada. The little things that keep us busy, eh? Brunch was two slices of multigrain buttered toast with skim mozza cheese slices, and a glass of OJ with an iron supplement, that'll last me until dinnertime, which will include lots of yummy veggies. yeah.

Time to blow-dry the wet stinky dogs now - remember it's raining out, they're just back from their morning bio-break - and then off to this great petstore nearby where parents sit and drink coffee, read, chat, while the furkids run around playing and having a ball. Need to pick up some ground raw patties for them, I just can't find a variety of exotic meats for them in the grocery store... hoping to get some venison, or buffalo, or horse, and some green tripe, whatever they have. Expensive as hell but if I mix in it their regular meals once or twice per week, it's doable.

Later alligators!

R.E.M.'s "Leave"

An exerpt from one of my favorite movies "A Life Less Ordinary". What a premise, what a fantastic song... love, love, love it. Hope you enjoy these 5 minutes on a sacred Sunday.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOW1QwWREfw

Dreams embrace my soul

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight,

and his punishment is that he sees the dawn

before the rest of the world.

Oscar Wilde

Rockin' crockpot

I can't believe I've had this amazing crockpot sitting in my back room collecting dust for over 3 years... been meaning to use it forever but it always slipped my mind. So on my way home from work yesterday I picked up some wonderful butterflied turkey thighs (each cut in two) from the butchers, figured I needed some kind of meat and chicken is boring, right?

So I took off the skin and nestled them in the crockpot, with chopped onions, garlic, a bit of butter, a can of cream of chicken soup, a can of milk, lots of fresh black pepper, some dried hot chilies and sprigs of fresh basil. I let it all simmer gently for about 6 hours and OMG!! sooo tender, meat just falling off the bone, it was incredible. I served it with some simple pilaf rice & corn, what a lovely comfort meal for this cold rainy day, and JUST what I needed after an intense yoga class. Of course PMS-chocolate-rage kicked in right after dinner and I was screaming for mercy, so snacked on a pack of M&Ms... feel guilty about that cuz I don't need the junk food, rather should eat an orange.

Deeep breath... oowwww. Breathing in class today was excruciating, my body was protesting all the way - no energy, just flat and unresponsive. Got through the class but my muscles are still shaking and trembling in protest... I can't do yoga just once per week or I'll never get anywhere, I need to find a place close to home for a class mid-week. Ouain. Gotta put that on my plate.

So... tonight's movie is a real brainer, "Night at the Museum" with Ben Stiller. Perfect for my IQ today, why not stick that to a glass of wine and call it a day, eh? That's exactly what I'll do. And then log on later, exhausted and drunk, and post all kinds of nonsense. Well so what... this is my space and I'm having a ball ok? Puuuurrrfect. Glad you're still with me :-))

PS: the horror-scope thingie at the bottom of my blog is kaput right now, but should be fixed soon, just an applet error from the hosting site. They're working on it, please try again later.

PPS: check out the "Songs of the moment" too under the blog archives list, I'll change the content here and there depending on my mood. Just click, play and enjoy!

I am weak

I gave in and had my drug... instead of a nap, which I desperately need. Still über-tired and feeling numb and sluggish all over, no surprise there though. I was bad all week, undisciplined with exercise and food, over-worked mentally and deprived of nourishing sleep. I won't whack myself over the head with it though, in life there are highs and there are lows, like the flow of the ocean. S'all good. The important thing in all of this is LOVE. If you have that, you have everything.

Monster dogs!

OK these beasts just keep growing and growing... ghhaaa! Got them both weighed at the vet's this morning... our little girl is up to 90 lbs, and the big boy 135 lbs. Dat's alot of dog! I'm so pleased with how they're turning out... all that effort to feed them the best diet possible, mixed with plenty of exercise and fresh air - it's working. Now if I can just apply this to myself, right? right.

Off to take a quick nap now, I'm yawning so hard my jaw keeps threatening to unhinge and my eyes are watering. Just had a bowl of tortellini soup and a glass of OJ with an iron supplement... and a peanut granola bar. I know, too many carbs! Dinner tonight will be more reasonable, it's in the crock-pot right now so it should be ready after yoga. mmm. I'll let y'all know! ;-)

A quiet rainy Saturday

Wet, grey and cold (only 7C!)... it's like summer flew back to California or something. Went to bed too late, slept comme-ci comme ça... wanted to get more sleep than 7 hours but my heart is racing too fast in my chest. Tried breathing exercises, didn't work... I'll calm down later at Yoga.

Right now I'll try a hot shower, eat some breakfast and get the kids ready for their vet visit (a brushing, trim whiskers and brush teeth)... gonna be a laaazy day today I think, between various errands there is fuck-all to do in this depressing weather, stupid hormones and all. Don't even feel like having a latte right now, I'd probably just feel sick to my stomach - and I need to listen to my body right now, rather than to my heart which is bruised and battered. Fucking rain... supposed to stick around until next Thursday, can you imagine? Makes me want to cry.

As night falls

Stone walls do not a prison make,

Nor iron bars a cage;

Minds innocent of quiet take

That for an hermitage;

If I have freedom in my love

And in my soul am free,

Angels alone that sore above

Enjoy such liberty.

Richard Lovelace

Color me blue today

Rain... it's so many things. Poetic, cleansing, cold, necessary yet like tears, not so pleasant to get through... I'm so blue today. I know it's mostly hormonal, mixed with a great fatigue, sad wet weather and a strange emptiness inside that I just can't put into words. Perhaps I am just missing latte or some other drug.

My throat has been clogged with tears all day, started when this morning I actually crossed a big busy road on my way to work, to avoid this poor wretched soul on the sidewalk.. because i was too ashamed to pass him and not help. I don't know how to help - it was just too much. He was just standing there, alone, bent over like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Stooped over like an old man, dirty, long dark messy hair covering his face, his dirty hands clutching a few quarters. I don't know if he was drunk, stoned, or just very tired or sick. He was falling over, dropping his coins, all in slow motion... people passing by and ignoring him. Just like I did. I stood there on the other side of the road and watched him for a minute, half-blind by tears and a cold black heart beating in my hollow chest. When was the last time he enjoyed the simple luxurires that I take for granted every day? A hot shower? Clean clothes? A soft bed? Loving friends and family? Health?

I know life is not fair, and that's just the way it is... I can't be a bleeding heart and expect to have any energy left over for happiness. Still, today, it sucked - and it still does. I feel like a shit. I have so much yet... it's still never enough, it's still not what I really want. 'Course you'll ask "ok then, what DO you want?" - what will fill that void in your soul, make you feel complete and like you're actually doing something with your life?

Hah... if I could answer that... I wouldn't be here blogging about it with a lump in my throat, would I? Or maybe I do know, but I just don't want to go there. Not now. Everything is like a big spiderweb right now, all connected, all sticky but with big holes between the bridges. I don't know if I'm the spider, or the fly. Perhaps both?

Am asking the Universe for a big hug right now, please guide me through these difficult times.... I'm hoping tomorrow's Yoga class will help me sort out things - or maybe i just need a good, cleansing cry. Like the raindrops on my window right now.

Life Latte

I want it now, I need it now, but I can't have it now. Tomorrow morning... yeah. It's another day and I can be patient ;-)

Cheap bad wine

That's all they had at the depanneur, even if it's French it's not very tasty. but whatever, i just need the buzz to quiet my mind and get some sleep. What a week so far, and there's still tomorrow to get through - big company meeting in the morning, then lunch with my friend N, and cleaning up dozens of emails and small lingering tasks. Plus stuff always comes up all the time...

The kids are crashed out after their 3rd day in a row with the sitter. I have to buy him a nice bouquet of flowers or something, he's too awesome and I don't thank him enough. There are many people in my life that I don't thank enough, just for "being" and for enduring me through these moods.

Synapes firing, have a gazillion random thoughts in my head and trying to only collect a few to put down... like what a beautiful sunny warm week we've been having, it's ok that the next few days are wet and icky. all those growing leaves and flowers need a drink. I know it's all about attitude so I'm trying to get in the right frame of mind... rain encourages rest, rejuvenation, catching up on lost sleep and indulging in wicked fun dreams. Me like :-)

Oh and my friend P starts her new job tomorrow, I am absolutely thrilled for her... and I know she'll fit right in and make Y's life a heckuva lotta fun during work hours. wooo! life is good. VERY good.

PMS bitch

Yeah, that's me today! Got a problem with that?! pffft.

I miss writing up all kinds of nonsense in here. The little free time I have left seems to be gobbled up by the small shit, tiredness, mind blanks and chores. I'm not being disciplined about exercise, the quality of food I'm putting in my mouth could be a lot better, I'm not being a good loving girlfriend, I'm not spending any time being good mom to my furkids, I'm behind in replying to personal emails... eeeeeeeeeek! Bloated and bitchy. It's the cherry on the pie.

Ili, I couldn't have done yoga last night even if I had tried... was blanketed by an immense lassitude and so happy to hunker down on my couch, in my jammies, at 8:30pm... so your venture into steak-land was actually good timing. Do NOT beat yourself over the head for it! Like my dad says "Life happens when you're busy making other plans" ;-) But definitely Saturday, come hell or high water, we're on for Shankara. Can't freaking wait!! Just need to launder my yoga pants first, LOL!

Have to work late again tonight, am recording my 2nd camtasia/ demo that will go on our website soon. As much as I dislike my voice, others seem to think it's OK. Weird, that. I'm very happy to push myself to do this though, am slowly getting over my fear of sounding stupid. Like the time I forced myself to get on that rollercoaster at the theme park, after being plagued with rollercoaster crash nightmares for the better part of my life. And you know what? It was fun. And the nightmares never came back after that.

Folks, that's all for now... patience, the happy BubbleGumGirl will be back soon in full force!

Angels guide my way

Angels come in all forms - the kindness of strangers, the support of old friends, the discovery of new ones. I've stopped questioning "why things happen" and just go with the flow, Life takes care of things at her own speed, there is not much to gain by rushing her. So that it what I'll take to bed with me tonight, carry and cradle in my dreams. I'll dream of angels.

The Jesus Barn

How cool is that?

I love my grinder!

Mid-morning break, just polishing off a big low-fat latte, mmm... sooo goood. So what has been going on? Last night I had the lovely surprise of my dogsitter kidnapping the kids, all I had to do was pick them up from his place - gives me a break, perfect timing cuz I was DEAD tired, just yawning and yawning and falling all over the place. Dinner was a few raw veggies with spicy balsamic vinegar, had no appetite but vitamins are always good... then, the sucky job of grinding 35 lbs of chicken frames. bf chops, i grind and pack up and disinfect and clean up. The kids should have enough for a good 3 weeks now...

Then had a shower, a glass of Wolf Blass and fell to bed at 11:30pm, for a blessed OK night of sleep... had to get up early today cuz work is so demanding and I can't keep up, the lattes help me focus thank god. I am PUMPED! LOL

I'm still sooo behind on answering emails... if anyone is reading this and thinking i'm lazy or ignoring you, NOOOO! i'd rather not write at all, rather than write mundane and meaningless crap. Ya gotta know that about me, right?... OK back to work, will try to go out later for some fresh air and a bite to eat, and tonight is Yoga With Illi - so much looking forward to that!! - wooo! More later... xxx

For my girls!

LIFE TIPS FOR WOMEN:

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.
2. If the shoe fits - buy both in every colour.
3. Take life with a pinch of salt... a wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.
4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!
5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).
6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your real personality.
8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.
9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it all by myself.
10. Don't get your knickers in a knot, it solves nothing; and makes you walk funny.
11. When life gives you lemons in 2007 - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka or gin.

Got this email today - beautiful!

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

3pm snapshot

Must be the sunshine and warm gorgeous weather that has me buzzing like a bee, not even having time to wash my hair much less write in my blog... but that's a good thing, yes? No moaning and bitching about the weather, even if this IS my PMS week, he he. Whodathunkit?

Finally got a bit of decent sleep last night, rushed through the morning routine, rushed through a pile of work including a dreadfully long conference call, had a bite to eat (oooh the blessed fruit salad bf makes every weekend... yum!), again more work, then a proper lunch at a new restaurant a few doors away (awesome japanese food), feel plump and in dire need of exercise... speaking of which, my dear Illi, are we on for yoga tomorrow night? body is screaming for relief and I need to breathe... please say please, oh dear sweet teacher :-)

Since a photo is worth a thousand words, I leave you with a book... took these two days ago, talk about pure radiating life!

i WANT to blog

i NEED to blog, but i need to sleep even more :-( There are not enough hours in a day the past week, i would need a whole day to catch up on belated emails, blogs, phonecalls and projects - dammit!! And the rest of the week doesn't look any better either... will try to post short but pertinent stuff, at least. right now after this shiraz, it's shower and then bed and pray for much-needed sleep. i leave you with a photo... me and my two best furry friends. I love my kids!

I need coffee.

3 hours will have to do

Yep, managed to get a bit of swiss-cheese sleep, woke up to sticky eyes and a bad mood but hey it's absolutely gorgeous outside, it helps sooo much to get moving! Hopefully I'll be shattered by tonight and then can snooze. yeah, that's a plan ;-) I need to eat well today, take my iron and take it easy, nice and smooth - helps to get a taste of summer, am actually wearing flip-flops today and baggy shorts, wooo! Love love love it. I could so live in California and enjoy this for 10 months per year. Someday... yes, someday :-)

Where I tell insomnia to stick it!!

Insomnia sucks!!

For a few weeks I'll sleep fine, then bam! insomnia strikes for no apparent reason, and I can't sleep for a few weeks. I mean my brain won't shut the hell off, it's like a broken radio - my body is dead tired but i can't find a comfortable sleeping position and i get frustrated at the ticking clock and and - aarrgghh! i got up to sleep on the couch, had some food in the hopes it would help, nothing. next step is drugs but i want to avoid that, i really do... it fucks me up for the whole day :-( Of course this happens on a sunday night, imagine the fun time tomorrow at the office? NOT! gonna take the morning off or else the whole week will suck. There, i feel better already! neener neeener insomnia, you won't get the best of me!!! so screw you!

I love weekends

I really do!! Screw routine, gimme liberty anyday... I'm gonna make a fabulous retired old maid someday, he he. Got up later than I wanted to (10:30am) but also had a hard time falling asleep last night, so total rest hours were not that much really. The good news is that I'm not half as sore as I was last week after yoga, wooo! My body is quickly adapting.

Just got back from an hour in the field with my friend B, now the kids are totally exhausted hot dogs and I'm downloading all the pics I took. Her dog is a kickass jumper, will post photos later... Not much time to blog today, have to finish some house chores now and get the week's groceries, then meeting my friend N later for girl-time and some dinner. Life is good, but life is very busy sometimes!

Being bad

Half past midnight and I'm still not in bed... Naughty! OK really really going now... I can't decide if I liked Borat or not, it had a few funny moments but it was also quite hard to watch, and kinda... dumb. I love Sasha and think he's brilliant to have pulled off such a project but yeah, not really my taste and I'm no prude. Glad I saw it though, even if I won't be recommending it.

Peace, out! xxx

Another broken sign

Post-yoga bliss!

All in all, it's been a gorgeous, relaxing and productive day... yep, feels awesome! Enjoyed a lovely long "family walk" in our neighborhood, snapped some photos although nothing terribly artistic but still fun stuff - may post some here later on. Had a cat-nap before bf drove me downtown for my yoga class, which I found quite a bit more challenging than last weeks' - seems i have a dyslexic body sometimes that can't get the hang of flowing routines, i keep mixing up feet, sides, movements, etc - and some poses were too hard for my immature muscular mass, i was shaking like a leaf and all disjointed - good lord! It'll get better I know. I'll make it so. It's all good! My dearest friend SG is always so positive and so encouraging, she's a balm to my frayed nerves and keeps me grounded yet gives me wings. I couldn't do it without her! Now I just need to brace myself for the wracked muscles tomorrow eh?

I picked up some dinner at our neighborhood rotisserie, a tiny hole-in-the-wall owned by a couple of latino brothers, they make faaabulous marinated chicken slow-roasted on the grill, yum! Had a leg and a salad, no carbs and only ate half the skin, which is sooo good but so bad for you eh? Dessert was a few dried cranberries, and am drinking lots of water for good measure. I feel GREAT!

Time for jammies now... bf took the kids for a walk and picked up some movies, finally will watch Borat (!!) and maybe have a sip of shiraz to close the night. Don't want to get to bed too late, tomorrow is another warm gorgeous day and it needs to be embraced at a reasonable hour eh?

Pre-summer wowness!

Weather blog says sunny and up to 20C today, wooo! it's already 14C and all the windows are open, letting in the sweet fresh air... beautiful. Had a so-so night of sleep but enough to keep me going for today. Just had a lovely hot latte, made the bed and will hop in the shower now, then give my feet a much-needed pedicure. I can't look at ugly toes at yoga today, LOL!

Have another headache creeping up but I'll squash it with tylenol, no way am I gonna ruin this day with pain. yeah. So shower, get dressed, do feet, have breakfast, then out for a walk with the dogs and take some photos along the way. sounds like a plan... will check in back later! bye peeps and be good!

Pooped!

It's Friday but I'm pooped! tired! zombie! LOL Been getting about 6 hours (or less) per night all week so yeah, am feeling it now... I'm on a high and coasting on all this new-found energy, it's amazing what an iron supplement, fresh air and exercise - yoga! - can do to unlock the powers within. I'm into "clean" today: both dogs are bathed and groomed, the bedsheets are fresh and clean, I got most of the laundry out of the way tonight too... kitchen's all clean, trash is out, wooo! tomorrow the car gets washed and I may do the appartment windows too. Need to clean out my closet and start putting away the big winter clothes, clean and wax the leather boots, etc...

Just got back from a warm breezy walk with the doggies -helps them to dry cuz they stink when they're wet! - and now digesting dinner which was leftover sushi and a lovely arugula salad with tomatoes, avocado and sunflower seeds (in a light raspberry vinaigrette). I gotta pay for the chocolate i fell into this afternoon.. hum hum...

On another note, wanted to share a few of my favorite inspirational quotes... try to keep an open mind and really think about what they mean! :-)

• Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
• Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
• Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to Church.
• Forbidden fruits create many jams.
• God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
• He who angers you, controls you.
• Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
• Peace starts with a smile.
• Some minds are like concrete - thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
• The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
• The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
• The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
• We don't change the message, the message changes us.
• You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.

How can anyone...

...NOT find the time, even 5 minutes, to go out and enjoy this glorious hot sun is really beyond me. 18C and blazing outside, it's phenomenal! my bf who has been complaining as much as i have about the shit weather, preferred to run in the gym and get lunch from the cafeteria today, rather than go walk outside to fetch a sandwich or something. Boggles my mind... but hey, not my problem. Am cleaning myself of any responsibilities in that matter - and it's very liberating. Am realizing more and more now how I need strong, decisive people around me, who radiate energy and positive vibes, who want to DO things, get out of the house, embrace nature and inspire me to expand my wings. Feel like I'm coming out of my cocoon... wow.

The road is starting to look like this now... it's beautiful and I'm in love:


Just wrapping up a few more things at work, should be able to leave in an hour... need to go pick up the car from the garage, had the winter tires taken off and the yearly inspection taken care of (she's all clean! LOL) so we're good until the autumn. Glad to be getting these things off my plate... Tonight the dogs get a bath after their evening romp, can't wait for that to be out of the way, what a chore - but so worth it, mmm soft cuddlebunnies! So those are the big lines of my day - the small dotted lines are to keep close to my heart ;-)

McDonald's reaches africa!

Happy spirits

I love Fridays! specially warm sunny ones like today... hard to believe that merely a week ago we were ankle-deep in gross snowstorms. There's a saying about Canadian weather... "if you don't like it, wait an hour!"

Went to bed way too late again last night (what was it, 1am?!) so woke up late, of course, thank goodness no-one's at work who would notice. I do log in from home every night and every morning and take care of all emails, so I'm not slacking. But I'm here now, taking a short break, digesting my yummy breakfast of home-made fruit salad, a yogurt and a granola bar. I'm meeting my friend N for lunch in 2 hours, time for sunny terasse of course, wooo! Then back to the grinder... My dogsitter sprung a horrible case of arthritis in his hands so he can't take the kids today, but no matter: they were awesome yesterday, not a thing in the house was out of place, wooo! So today they again both get free run, they'll probably spend most of the day sleeping anyways either inside or out on the balcony. They love to sit there and survey their "domain" from up high, LOL!

I went crazy at Gap yesterday. Always the same thing... i see one nice thing in the window, go in to check, and leave with six items in a big bag. stie. I am trying to be disciplined but noooo.... am addicted to buying clothes that don't fit in my closet and most of the time the weather stops me from wearing, how terrible is that?

My kids from tonight

Really enjoyed the warm sun today as much as I could... this was after work, and before tanning then a lovely sushi dinner. Both kids got their whiskers, nails and feet fur trimmed tonight, all that's left tomorrow night is their baths... then they'll be nice and fresh for a gorgeous sunny spring weekend!


and look... in the space of two days, this pushes out of the naked cold earth:

Stress management

Just in case you've had a rough day, here's an eight-step stress management technique recommended in the latest psychological texts. It really works.

1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one but you knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic world.
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear.
7. You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding underwater.
8. See? You're smiling already!

14C = happiness

Ah. just... aaaaaaahhhh. Went out for a little walk at lunchtime, bought some delicious fruit soap for happy showers and you know, I should do this every day - gets the blood moving in those stiff "office shoulders". I'm sipping a Twinings Irish Breakfast tea right now (the closest you'll see me get to a hot "green" tea, LOL) and taking a short break from spreadsheets... OMG my dogsitter just called, his place got broken into yesterday evening while he was out for a walk - the balls of people sometimes?! his door is right on the sidewalk, in plain view of any passersby so wtf? nothing was stolen, which is the bizarre part. He's getting his doorframe fixed this afternoon an a big-ass lock installed with security bars. Welcome to the new Harlem!

Hail to the sun!

Oh! glorious sun... it has finally arrived to caress our tired, chilled faces and renew our smiles. It's like being reborn! I am a flower, a child of Mother Earth.

Slept well last night, even if I'm not disciplined enough to go to bed before midnight and get the hours I need. There is always too much going on in the world and I don't want to miss out! My bad. Today being warm, we left the balcony door open and both dogs loose, am crossing my fingers the little one won't get herself in trouble... we tried to leave her out of her crate a couple of times and she snacked on a a wicker basket, a tube of hand cream... just hoping she has matured since then and can be trusted, specially since it's so sunny and warm maybe she'll spend time snoozing on the balcony and not be frustrated and bored. After all the goal is to have them both free in our place during the day - better for everyone.

kay gotta jump into work now, more later!

Where my mind sits

Yawning, typos, etc

Ohh man... what a BUSY day! Been trying to post all day but life just kept getting in the way... I'm half asleep right now so please bear with me?

It's been a day of connections. First with the dry sidewalks and warm sun on my face walking to work, had almost forgotten what that felt like... just beautiful. Then got assaulted by emails and rush jobs, but that's I get paid for right? Skyped with my friend P who's backed in a corner right now, partly because of me... misunderstood communications read by the wrong person, which lead to a row... P if you're reading this, please let me know if everything is OK? I do worry.

Then at lunch I tried to catch up on SG's blog, to no avail - too much material to cover in 30 minutes! I'll continue tomorrow though... at least we had a great relaxing stretch together tonight. Slowly getting the hang of breathing, have to work on balance, coordination, relaxing into a yoga pose and streeeetch. More on Saturday with Shankara - I can't wait!

This afternoon I also chatted with my lil'sistah, set her up on skype too - damn msm webcam was all screwed up. Losing your first love is hard, specially after being together for over 2 years - but honestly? sooo happy he's gone, he was a right little shit and nobody liked him. She deserves better and she WILL find better... time does heal shattered hearts even if it seems impossible when you're in the middle of it all. Shrimp, if you're reading, just remember what I told you: keep busy, keep your head up, take control of your life and he will fade away. I promise you... Life is one big gorgeous adventure, gifts are handed to you every day - just look for them :-)

Good night peeps... need to rest now and digest this day. wow.

he he hehehe

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=22939 Watch this poor naive jackass snort powdered wasabi and then be shocked at how painful it is! Poor SOB!

Dreaming of cake

OK this is where it gets hard. I'm not depriving myself of anything, really, but these cravings... OMG. I want chocolate cake, rreeeerr! Of course there is none in the house, I'll maybe settle for a hot chocolate but still. Why the cravings? Dinner was one and a half baked zucchinis, flavored with fresh garlic paste, cracked pepper and a dusting of romano cheese. Dessert... well I actually had fun cleaning and chopping fruit for the juicer, man it's alot of work for so little liquid but oooohhh god it's a mouth orgasm! Nectar of the gods... tonight was apple, ginger, lemon and grapefruit. Every mouthful is sooo beautiful... packed with wholesome vitamins too. And some of the leftover pulp will get mixed in the kids' breakfast tomorrow, so not much waste. I don't think my juicer is very good though, it leaves some chunks behind, so not using all the fruit. hmm.

(later, after coveted hot choc, which wasn't even very good)

I had fun with the kids tonight, took them for a run in the woods instead of the field, and they loooved the new smells, hills, huge broken tree trunks to jump over and still a thick blanket of wet snow on the ground so it gives them (and me!) and extra workout to walk around. Of course they had to go find the only big burr bush and roll in it... ugghh. took me 15 minutes to brush all the crap out of their coats when we got home. Overall, a pretty good day. Just have a few emails to catch up on but brain is zzz... dear friends, I am sorry for procrastinating. Just know i MEAN to write back and i WILL... tomorrow?

ooohhhhhh... sigh.

I ate too much today, feeling bloated and just gross sitting here on my chair 8 hours a day... Had a big portion of pasta for lunch (small shells with a rosé sauce and small meatballs), dessert was a home fruit salad, a yogurt and a handful of chocolate easter whoppers. What is wrong with me?! all this hard work to slim down and then i pig out for no reason... I'm just hungry all the time, uughhh. Must stick to veggies tonight and a bit of protein and that is IT. Almost time to walk home, will pick up some fish for the dogs on the way, it's still raining so it will be fun to juggle an umbrella on top of everything. He he.

Parting thought for now:

A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit-card sized shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on shotgun? Now how does this work? What's the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he's got your gun too! -- Jay Leno

Cravings!!!

mmmm... perfection! gotta have some sushi soon, such cravings are there for a reason - right now i have a pasta lunch to heat up, a far cry from this wholesome freshness but guess what's for dinner soon? Not tonight though... fresh fish deliveries are only on Wednesday.

SSDD

Same Shit, Different Day.

• Weather: 2C (-5C with windchill), wet flurries mixed with hail and freezing rain.
• Sleep: not so bad, could always use more.
• Mood: suitably bitchy, could go either way at this point
• Breakfast: glass of calcium-fortified orange juice with a shot of organic iron and B-vitamins, cinnamon-apple breakfast pita with olive oil becel and a thin slice of light swiss cheese. Yummay.
• Hair: think "mongolian sheep"
• Day's outlook: meh. hoping to get alot of work done to feel holy, must not stray to the dark side and blog all day. must have discipline.
• Affirmation: I am at peace with the world. Repeat until blue in the face.

Blow me away!

Literally.... hurricane winds out there, they pushed me flat on my face TWICE tonight in the field! The dogs thought it was hilarious... mommy all soaked and freezing and tottering like a drunk. Gotta love Mother Nature on PMS! (bitch)

At least I got some good work done today, had a quick tanning session, braved the elements and stretched out the kinks in my legs... yoga soreness is subsiding, so I can do it again soon - hoping for Wednesday night, if my yogi is free ;-) Ah yes, the headache factor slowly built up to 6, only took one tylenol today but will take another now or I won't sleep... a hot shower will also help. Hair is due for a deep conditioning, so relaaxing. That's about it for today... feeding my brain with good vibes and keeping it all chilled. Or is that the northern wind beating against my windows?

Abbreviated weather blog

Why bother going into the details... from the local news station:

Another spring storm is hitting Montreal. The entire eastern seaboard got a dump of heavy wet snow overnight - and there's more snow and rain to come. Neaerly 162,000 Hydro-Quebec clients were without power provincewide as of 10 a.m., including nearly 8,000 on the island of Montreal.

Photo credit & copyright to my friend FurryPrincess

And that's all I'll say about this mind-fuck today. Must stick to happy thoughts!

The office is sooo quiet today... most folks are in Vegas attending a trade-show, how lucky are they? S'ok, gives me time to catch up on some time-consuming yet boring tasks here.. drink tea, practice ORGA between tasks... SG I hope you don't mind me sharing your technique with my peeps? Edited some stuff but the core still remains:

1. O: Outbreath. Take a deep breath in, then take a deep Outbreath. Optional: repeat as many times as you like. JUST ONE oubreath is good. 3 is great. 5 is amazing. 10... well if you have the time for it... only increases the potentiality and makes the following steps that much more... optimized.

2. R: Relax. With your mind's eye, find the tension in your body and relax it... just a little bit. Concentrating on ONE specific area is really helpful here.

3. G: Ground. Ensure that you are feeling centered and grounded whether you are sitting or standing. You should have a powerful stance. i.e. if someone was to give you a shove, you would hold steady. If you're not grounded at that moment, continue breathing slowly in and out, and correct your stance before going to the next step which is...

4. A: Affirm. Declare your intention to develop a quality. Use the same intention over the next week. For example: "What if in the coming moments I was just a little bit more... (present, a better listener, courageous, loving, decisive, gentle, understanding, etc). I played with this one around quite a bit and decided that what works best for me is to Affirm a quality. For example, for the remainder of the week, "I AM COURAGE". Powerful stuff, lemme tell you.

Thanks to SG and her auntie for this one! bisous!

About yoga

OMG this was too funny not to share! LOL!

April snorkeling, the Canadian way

Giant snowstorm

Yes, you heard me. April 15th, and we're drowning in snow... 3rd storm of the month and that beats a Canadian record for "most sucky April ever". It's fucking retarded. Right now I can hardly see across the street, everything is covered in a massive blanket of snow, blowing winds, it's pure hell - and it's supposed to snow for another 12 to 24 hours, leaving us stranded in winter slush, mud and headaches. So far 5 people have died, over 400 flights cancelled, the entire mid and eastern North American continent is suffering so at least I'm not alone in this shitty misery. Sooo glad I don't have to commute to work, imagine the mess on the highways? OMG!

Both dogs have been zombies today, not in the mood for anything, they're not impressed with this weather either. Just sit there, sigh and mope. No happy energy even out in the woods, just super mellow marshmallows. Wonder if the atmospheric pressure insanity is behind my clumsiness today - I broke a bowl in the sink while washing it, turned on the wrong burner on the stove and melted a plastic container (hey! plastic catches on fire too, did you know?), what a mess... the entire appartment filled with thick toxic chemical smoke that took ages to dissipate even with all the window open (brrrr). Then while hard-cooking some eggs, they broke in the shell and the cover fell on the pot, it overflowed everywhere in a sticky boiling mess... on the stove bf had just cleaned. I decided it was funny rather than anything else, not in the mood to argue with the Mr Bean on my head. pffft.

At least one good thing, SG I'm sorry but I'm keeping the juicer, LOL! Was cleaning it up tonight and getting all the parts together and bam! remembered the amazing tonic from the resto last night (apple, lemon and ginger) and hey, I can make those at home, have everything I need... it was sooo delish and healthy and... yeah. Definitely part of my new life-plan now. So I'm sorry for the offer and then retraction... I'll have to make you some kickass tonics in exchange! LOL!

I actually took the time to call my mom today, and we had a nice long chat instead of a hello-how are you- gotta run- love you! call, it was so nice to connect again. One of my brothers is being a bit shitty with her and that makes me mad, i mean for god's sake - you only have ONE mother in this world, honor and respect her, man. Specially when I see and hear of these women who don't give a crap about their kids and treat them like dirt? Puh-lease. My mom did the best she could, gave everything she had, sacrificed and worked her ass off for her kids, and she still does, and how can a kid turn against her like that? Pisses me off. She LOVES you little bro, it's her only reason for doing and saying the things she does. That's what caring mothers do. So get over it, and please smarten up, or else one day when she's gone you're gonna kick yourself in the ass for not being more open to having her in your life.

End of rant... good night peeps, from under a foot of winter snow.

Live, or die trying!

Stiff as a board

Ohhh yes, the expected soreness is not as bad as I thought it would be but STILL! ooowww! I'm walkin' kinda funny, LOL! I can feel which parts of my body got a workout though, and am very pleased at the overall experience - can't wait to do it again! But first I have to rest, do gentle stretches and be kind to my body. Woke up at 11am from an ok night of sleep, the deepest sleep was after 6am though - before that, it was more of a semi-slumber, not restful at all. And since today is cold, wet and rainy - (what the hell else?!) I had no qualms about resting. The dogs are sooo lazy today too, like two little zombies!

Had a light brunch, took a shower, fed the dogs (which one of them prompty burped up again all over the carpet #$%?#!), enjoyed a hot latte then drove over to the woods for a walk, it was just sprinkling so it was fine. Still plenty of wet snow under the trees, some mud, not too bad... it was very quiet and peaceful, the kids enjoyed the new smells and collected burrs on their coats for my enjoyment to pick off - thanks guys - at least my legs got a nice stretch. Then I met up with my friend N to go get her microwave, finally wooo! More driving around, picked up a bunch of fruits and veggies and also meat for the dogs, then home for a bowl of light and spicy bean and veggie soup, finished up the laundry and tidying up, threw dinner together and it's now baking in the oven, smells goood... spicy pilaf rice with corn and bits of mexican pork & tofu sausages, that'll also serve for a lunch or two this week.

Nice to sit down finally and take a break... while the rain plops down against the windows. Tomorrow is the 3rd snowstorm of the month, which is actually breaking a record. Whoopee.... about -8C with the windchill is forecasted. Alot of people are screaming so it's not just me - enough already! you know? sick to death of this shit... cold, wet, cold, snow, cold. blah!

But whatever... am in a good mental place right now so I can't let petty things like the weather bother me, right? Breathe in, breathe out... everything happens for a reason and everything will be OK. Gonna go cruise eBay now! hah.

Stretching tiger, sleeping dog

Thank you SG... just thank you. For everything. I know I'm hard to deal with sometimes, and I test your patience and make you want to pull off your shirt and run around the restaurant boobs in the air cuz it's better than screaming :-) But see, it's all good... transformation takes time, blood, sweat and tears.

I finally took a step in the right direction with my life and have embraced yoga, or at least the beginnings of yoga. Been wanting to do it for a long time now, but it was just never "the right time" - well that time has come, for both spiritual and physical health, I just need to do this now. It hurts, it pushes me to my limits, it makes me fight with my body in order to get it to understand what I want from it and cooperate (and vice-versa), and I will get to a peaceful place because I *want* it... and what Aquarius wants, Aquarius gets!

Who knew breathing was so much hard work? I ache all over but the biggest is pain is in my lungs and around my throat, like everything poisonous worked its way out of my fibers but got stuck there, it needs more pushing for a birth of some sort to occur. I'm ok with that, it will be a work in progress for a while. The important thing is that I STARTED. :-)

I'm sooo tired now, feeling a deep mental and physical exhaustion that is wonderful. Dinner at a lovely neighborhood vegan restaurant clinched the day very well, am full and satiated and feeling quite right with the world actually. Also very happy that bf is so supportive of anything I do, specially stuff like this - it frees me from other obligations and feelings of guilt for taking some time out for myself. I need to learn to do that more... focus on ME, slow down a bit and just "be". And that is a huge step... but a very necessary one.

Hoping the tigers sleep tonight, this bitch has done enough stretching for the day!

Drive-by posting

Busy-bee day so far! Woke up at 10am after a so-so night of sleep, am still feeling super run-down and foggy, so I'm thinking "lack of Iron and B-vitamins". Stopped at the drugstore to get a supplement (for women! LOL) and we'll see after a week or so if it helps. I'm hardly eating any red meat and not enough iron-rich greens, so yeah it's a definite possibility. Got most of the laundry out of the way, as well as groceries and other errands.

We went to the cobbler to get our boy fitted for a custom leather harness, the nylon one he has now is ripping the fur off his body and tummy - the idiot will not stop pulling no matter what - so crossing fingers this will be the solution. We'll have to bring him back once or twice for further fittings and adjustments, hopefully in two weeks it will be ready. 1.25" wide quality waxed, supple leather fully lined with real sherpa (fuzzy lambskin) and equine hardware - should last him years.

Just had a big lunch salad and will go meet my friend SG for a yoga class, it will either fix me or kill me, LOL! And all I want to do is lay down and sleep... sooo tired, but am not giving into it, I'll sleep when it's dark out.

Don't ask

I'm just passing it along...

20 years

I can't believe it's been 20 years I gradutated from high school, seems like yesterday. Always chasing after tomorrow and look what happened: I'm older yet haven't gone very far from my starting point. Am I chasing my tail like a drunk dog? Will I die and be buried in the cemetary behind the hospital where I was born? Mind you I would like that but it's not the point. My very wise friend P said that aging was like adding layers to one's personality, the changes are there even if the core remains the same. Maybe that's why I feel cold most of the time, not enough layers... So you take a few trips, buy stuff, get rid of stuff, make friends and lose friends, get hired, get fired, sleep, gain weight, lose hair, read books and watch movies, smoke a joint, dance, chase a few thunderstorms - and then what? Nice journey but is there supposed to be a destination? Some say yes, others say no... Me, I'm just confused as all heck. Times like these I'm glad I don't do drugs or alcohol - I'd be a goner.

English headache

This is from a red double decker bus in London, explaining how many people it can hold. I found myself trying to figure out the seating/standing capacity on this bus. Does anyone have a clue on this one?

Almost weekend! woo!

Ever had a day that was both never-ending yet whooshed on by? Sober? Most of my team has gone to Vegas for a tradeshow but my boss is still here today, boy have I been busy... ghha. Almost time to head home for dog duties, then errands, tanning, some dinner and then a brain dump (aka dodo). I really wish I had some drama to hash out, some exciting adventures or tragedies to share but nope, life is quite steady and kind to me at the moment. The weekend looks busy but that's OK as long as I get the sleep I need first. Gotta run, details later!

Friday the 13th

So this morning I snapped at my bf because he was smothering me with cuddles, kisses, etc. I mean enough already! first it's too early and we all know i don't do mornings and second, why all the attention? he normally pretty much ignores me and that's all right, we have our routines. but gawd, this morning, get OFF me! And it's so stupid, most women complain that their men don't give them enough attention. well, it's about timing too - both people need to want the same thing at the same time for it to work. Must be a black-cat day thing...

Nice tent

Here is where I will sleep tonight. I love dreams! G'nite world.

The leopard lounge

(my cave's nickname, thanks to the carpet)

It's been a strange day... to commemorate the never-ending shitty Montreal winter, I took a little video of the kids fighting the elements this evening after work: http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j129/technodoll/?action=view&current=trainbeanies.flv They normally don't want to leave the fields but tonight, after barely 30 minutes, they were leading me back to the car! You know something is freaky wrong when "winter dogs" don't want to be outside! They don't even want to hang out on the balcony - maybe because it's still snowing. That shit is heavy and snowballs are hard as a rock, so it will melt quickly... still. What a bummer. Pretty soon I'll be complaining that it's too hot eh?

I spoiled myself tonight though, bought a gorgeous new bra and matching sexxy thongs in bright summer colors, figured "fake it 'till you make it". I can't WAIT to wear summer clothes again, sandals, just let everything breathe and move in the warm breeze. If all else fails there's always San Diego and then LA in early August - a working vacation of sorts. BF still hasn't booked anything for early July though... i have a feeling we ain't gonna go anywhere, look up "procrastinator" in the dictionary and you'll see his photo. He means well, but he's like a nice car with no gas half the time. I have to push, puuush... so tiring. I want a man who takes control, initiative, who has drive and ambition and just *does* things without me pushing all the time. I have to focus on his qualities, I know, not his shortcomings. It's just me nagging tonight... must be the weather.

And wherever this place is, I'll bet they serve a mean-assed Latte! I wanna go. Who's with me?

A little pick-me-up

Just made myself a cuppa, and am taking a little break while the snowstorm rages outside, covering everything under a white blanket and jamming up the suicide hotline numbers. Today's food intake: small 1% latte, bowl of fruit salad with yogurt, granola bar, big dish of spicy vegetable and shrimp pasta, 3 easter whoppers and now a tea. And it's only 3pm! I'm gonna have to tone it down tonight to lean salad only, and run like a maniac in the cold muddy fields with the dogs after work.

What the hell... this day needs some humor:

Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie’s bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.

Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie’s hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.

Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie’s droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too-muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.

Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie’s dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.

No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow’s-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie’s own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.

Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It’s time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They’re hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."

Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, and Ken’s boat.

Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she’s going to meetings religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.

Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.

Nothing in life is free

So winter started 6 weeks later this year, and is also pushing springtime 6 weeks back. Horrid, horrid weather the past months... we're supposed to be planting flowers right now, hoeing away the dead leaves and welcoming new tree buds with 12C sunshine on our faces. but noooo, what do we get? freezing cold rain and SNOW!!! today and tomorrow about 10cms each day, it's fucking cold and wet and windy out there, all flights to New York & Georgia and surrounding areas cancelled because of nasty storms, what the fuuuuuck! It's enough to make the toughest cookie want to cry. My friend P went snowboarding yesterday... yes, there is still lots of snow up north. MID-APRIL. I'm so sick of this! Does anyone have a valium for me please?

OK so that was my weather blog for this morning... likely there will be more bitching later on. Work is again busy and even with a floor heater I'm freezing in my office, hard to type. I heard that the sun is nice and warm in California, why am I here again? not for the poutine, I've given up on junk food except for the occasional bite here and there - someone please rescue meeee!

On sale this week!

Puuurrrr!

Ohhh that was so nice - just had a long soak in a hot bubblebath, it really does dissipate stress... Now time for a glass of Wolf Blass shiraz while watching CSI and surfing the web, thinking of my mundane little life and how to spice it up a bit? Perhaps find a good dog training class and sign up with my little girl, she's so good and loves that stuff... I just hope the warmer weather gives me more evening energy and pushes me outside more, am pretty sick and tired of being a hermit actually. So boring! I don't feel like spring cleaning or de-cluttering after a long day's work, this place is hopeless anyways and I'll only see the light once I move out, whenever that will be. Again, the long straight path to nowhere, no life plan, no means to get there. Stagnating. Where to go? what to do? when? why? how?

Sigh.

Might as well blindfold me and stick me in giant dryer right now, thump thump kerthump. Knowing me, no matter where I am I'll always want something different, something "better". I just feel so useless and without a purpose, you know? And no I do not want kids, fucking kill me rather than make me pregnant! So there you have it. Spinning my wheels in butter but at least i'm in a car, right? Right. Something to chew on...

What a day!

I've been sooo busy from the get-go, haven't had any time to even think about blogging and now it's late, I'm starving and waiting for bf to come home with the avocados so I can prepare dinner, hurryupalready! After that I want to sit in a hot bubble-bath and relaaax... agreed with SG that a visit will have to wait, we've both had too long a work day, but we'll chat on the phone later this evening instead. So yeah, just sitting here emptying my brain out, watching an old "Everybody Loves Raymond" rerun, will write more later - i'm too hungry to think right now, LOL! And remember... somedays you're the bull, other days you're the matador ;-)

Beautiful hunter

Ooooh that was so nice, I am finally warm inside, had been freezing all day... love tanning :-) Earlier I had managed 30 minutes out with the dogs in the blowing icy wind and that was that... and my dinner did not sit well with me at ALL, had a bowl of sliced cucumbers and a stuffed portobello mushroom (shrimps, feta, garlic, breadcrumbs) which was superb, had it before with no problems but not tonight... oh man, naaasty! Fast way to lose weight though, LOL!

Am I talking about food again? good lord! I should take myself off to a hot shower now, tomorrow is another long day... I'm hoping to see SG tomorrow night, since the kids are at the dogsitter's they'll be dead tired by the time I'm home so that gives me some free time. I could use some girl company over a cuppa! But whatever happens, we shall see. Tonight I shall dream of the beautiful hunter, yes?

evening giggle

Q: What did one DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat?

What a day!

...and it's not over yet. Looking forward to the walk home soon, need to clear my head from this work tornado! As usual it's then a stroll in the fields with the doggies so more exercise, then they get chunks of pork roast for dinner so I gotta prepare that, then off for a quick tanning session... it's been 5 days and I am already losing freckles. And I am sooo tired, can't stop yawning... prolly because of the big pasta lunch I had2 hours ago. I feel no guilt since it was also my dinner, eh? S'all about food, man, s'all about food... and about boring American Idol which is on tonight, camp winners vs camp losers. What a dull season this turned out to be - jyp! Kay time to put my walking boots on, wish I was riding a kite instead! ;-)

Bubblegum days

How sweet is that? Just like getting a "good morning" kiss or unexpected ping, it sets the mood right! Sunny today, and it's like living on the moon... if you walk on the shady side of the street you freeze, but walk in the light and dang, it's warm and you sweat - viva springtime in Montreal... now bring on the tree buds, eh?

Slept well but not long enough, tossed out all the sugar crappy cereal hiding in my cupboard (why have I never thought of looking at the ingredients before buying that stuff? UUGHH!), finished off the strawberry shredded wheat and feel OK about that. Next purchases will be healthier! Finally secured an appointment at the Migraine Clinic for May 14th - good lord, 5 long weeks to wait... but better than nothing I guess. Mood is good, am on a conference call right now (multitasking is an art) and the day is quite busy, as expected. It will fly by.

Happy gumming!

He he

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
“Mom,” he asked, “are these my brains?”
“Not yet,” she replied.

Back to the grinder!

Well this 4-day weekend sure flew by - whooosh! Had sooo much fun at my dad's, a super delightful weekend - and I had no chocolate, I am proud! Oh and I keep playing tag with my friend SG, hopefully we can connect Wednesday night since already have plans for tomorrow evening... girly if you're reading me, let's chat Tuesday! Just winding down the day now, ready for a glass of australian shiraz and feeling pretty OK about life, didn't overdo it with food today - although i could have eaten half a blueberry bagel instead of a whole one, oh well - tomorrow i start walking again and it'll all go away.

I spent the last hour packing up 2 weeks' worth of work lunches, thanks to my over-zealous chef friend who thought it amusing to go crazy in the kitchen again this weekend... i left the leg of lamb for bf to carve up though, if I ain't eatin' it, I ain't touchin' it! yucky lamb - i'm having all kinds of pasta this week, yey! and fresh home-made fruit salad with yogurt, oh yummy... does it show I didn't have dinner? penance for overeating the past few days :-(

We have a new team member starting this week, she'll be here at HQ getting all set up and trained, hope she's as good as she sounds - we need all the sharks we can get. I don't get paid for the sales we don't make, and I have my eye on a few goodies, he he he! The latex mattresses are still on backorder (dammit) but but it's looking good for the end of April. Fingers and toes crossed while back screams Bloody Hell! Three more weeks!

In the spirit of Hulk protein shakes and keeping fit, here's my thought of the day and ho boy, I can't wait for breakfast, I'm so damn hungry! sigh. Mind over matter... gute nacht!

Inexistant spring

Well so far we've had about 2 hours of sunshine the past week? It's terrible! And I can't go tanning until tomorrow night either, am already fading it seems. Good gosh - the addiction kicks in fast, LOL! So nice to have today off, just kinda lounging around not doing much to be honest... got up at 10am after a so-so night of sleep, just puttered around, had a latte, had a long shower, fed the dogs, went to do the groceries and went shopping for socks and jammies (essentials!), had a ginormous yummy salad for late lunch and here I am, unmotivated and completely lazy... it's too fucking cold and windy outside to inspire any kind of exercise in the "fresh air"... I need to get the week's food from my friend's place later and then spend a good hour repacking everything and washing a ton of containers. So intellectually stimulating, my brain hurts! ho-hum.

Happy Easter!

Finally back home, it's super late and time to hit the bed, just wanted to wish you all a very Happy Easter and hope you had as wonderful and delightful a weekend as I did! XXX

Un gros bisou!

Mmm time for jammies and a movie now... bf came home after a long day's work and rubbed my sore neck & scalp before chopping up the chicken for the dogs - and it did help, I still feel dizzy and out-of-my-body, drinking a ginger ale and loving the bubbles, LOL! I forgot to go pick up some Easter chocolate to bring at my dad's so tomorrow morning, will have to stop by at the bakery before the drive. No biggie, they have morning croissants too! mmm!

I probably won't have access to a computer so no blogging for a couple of days - y'all don't go and miss me too much OK? ha ha! Just have a happy and safe Easter and don't kill any rabbits. After all, they do lay all those cadbury chocolate eggs ;-)

Vampire Bat

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.

"OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"

Friday giggle

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.

He says,"What are you doing?"

She answers, "I'm moving to Las Vegas. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free!"

Later that night on her way out the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's going, he replies...

"I'm going to Vegas too. I want to see you live on $800 a year!"

Wild beasts at play

Keeping busy sure makes a day fly by... even if I'm only at 50% energy, stoned and nauseous from the drugs and yet still half-blinded by pain. I mean what's the alternative, lying down and doing nothing? meh. Just took the dogs out for a bit of fresh (read: cold) air, after vacuuming the entire house down to its nooks and crannies then cleaning out the vacuum, it was so filthy... love the bagless system but wow how much fur and dirt can that thing pick up? it's unbelievable!! Also finished 3 loads of laundry, emptied all the trash, trimmed the dog's whiskers and nails, took a shower and managed to force down a bit of food so I don't pass out. I just feel like lying down and sleeping... I can't WAIT to get to the migraine clinic and pray they find out what the hell is wrong with me. Whatever tests it takes. BF is on the way home and then comes the chicken grinding, a long, loud and messy job... why I don't have normal dogs who actually like to eat real food, I dunno. They're worth it but on days like this, I want to just hide under a rock and let them starve, grumble grumble.

Watching Dr. Phil right now and feeling pretty much like a loser, I mean I should be OUT there doing fun and productive stuff, right? Not letting the couch take the shape of my ass! Good lord, grant me the power to take control of my life again, and not just go with the flow. I want to make something good out of it. At least tomorrow we go visit my dad for the weekend, if I can stand the 3-hour car ride thanks to my verdamnt relentless headaches. bleeeccch!

Hey I can laugh at myself, along with the wild beasties - see, look! wooo!

Dammit!!

Well so far this day is NOT going as planned... slept like a rock until 11:30am, which is way longer than I wanted to... of course this resulted in a pounding headache so my breakfast was Tylenol again. I had to get dressed to go move the car (stupid city street parking laws), so here I am now half passed-out in pain, still haven't taken a shower so feeling super cruddy and dizzy... I managed to make the bed, throw a load of laundry, wash a sinkful of dishes and have a bowl of cereal and that's it. Was supposed to go pick up BF from work so he could come chop up the 35 lbs of chicken frames for the grinder - I can't do it because of my back - but forget it, I just can't deal with anything strenuous or loud right now. Thank goodness the kids are sleeping tight, just following their daily routine... how I love them! Still need to trim their nails later and then vacuum the house, they're gonna haaate that, ha ha! First, I need a hot shower and a latte, screw the chores, I feel like shit and that's that. Oh well there is good news in all of this, I finally secured an appointment with my doctor next Tuesday afternoon, I need that referral for the migraine clinic... just can't put it off any longer, this is ridiculous. I need serious medical help and I'm taking it!

4 days!!

Four glorious days off work... bliss! See, I can sleep late tomorrow morning and have a nice slow hot latte before attacking a long list of chores and errands... hey wait... that's no vacation! But whatever... it's all at my own pace.

I sprouted a couple more freckles tonight, I'm soon going to have to change my makeup to "show the glow" - it's apparently going faster than I had thought. I'm not dark or anything, by any means, just not so deathly pale anymore. Hah! Screw you, winter! heeey... bf just made some Nutella toast and it smells divine. I'm hungry again, want to stuff my face but I've eaten enough today and need to be disciplined. It's so hard though when you live with a bottomless pit... he eats sooo much food (well compared to me!) and I'm kinda jealous... I just love to eat and I love to cook and I love to feed people - the day I have a kitchen again, a real one, watch out! Gonna make my own bread too... food of the gods.

So today I had an apple-raisin breakfast pita and a small wedge of havarti cheese. Lunch was a small bowl of home-made chicken noodle soup and fresh fruit salad with peach yogurt. Dinner was a small bowl of spaghetti with meat sauce (home-made) and a banana dipped in caramel. Evening sugar attack was 3 small cookies and a hot chocolate. I know, I know: I forgot to eat vegetables. and that is way too much sugar. But whatever, it's water under the bridge now (or rather fat on my ass), so spank me eh?

G'nite world!

Friends

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."- Anais Nin

Frickin' BRRR!

Minus 6C in the wind and boy was it ever blowing like MAD out in the field! been home for 20 mins now and I still can't feel my toes... Met up with my friend B and her sweet girlie, the 3 kids all had a good romp and some fun wrestles while we froze our tushes off, I adore that girl! Always has crazy stories that make me giggle :-) I'm off for a quick tanning session now, oooh warmth for these old bones... I love it. Wooo!

Long weekend

Soooo looking foward to a long weekend, aaahhh... unfortunately my bf doesn't have the day off tomorrow, so that puts a crimp in my plans. We have a 35 lbs box of chicken backs to grind and he's the chopping man, so we'll be stuck doing it late in the evening... might just get it out of the way tonight actually. Yeah, that sounds like a plan. I'll probably sleep late then throw myself into house spring cleaning, easter-chocolate shopping and packing for the weekend at my dad's. I'll be in the good company of two sweet furkids, good music and -maybe, praying for it - some bits of sun peeking out from the pregnant clouds. C'est cool la vie!

Happy licks!

What better way to start the day, a big slurp to you all! LOL Better than a snowball on the side of the head, I would think - although, what else can you do with all this white wet crap?

Hah, started this entry at 9am and now, 3 hours later, finally have a few minutes to breathe - what a crazy day, and the eve of a long 4-day weekend too - bliss. Finally my dogsitter can't take the kids today due to the massive slush and water puddles everywhere, so my evening agenda just got a bit more crowded, meerrrr. Just feels chaotic today, dealing with dozens of small annoying things that suck up time and energy for no great return - like walking in butter or something.

Nothing eventful to report, no fights no deaths no gossips and no sex scandals. Damn how boring. Better go grab my lunch now before I fade off, I'm sure things will fall into place later. There is always time for giggle though: Bungee jumping is like getting a blowjob off your granny, It feels great but for christs sake don't look down.

Parting thought...

"To know someone here or there with whom you can feel there is understanding in spite of distances or thoughts expressed ~ That can make life a garden." -Goethe

Magic.

Images from some of my favorite movies of all time... they are magic for me.