Put a new poll up

The other one went as far as it was ever going to, so... ;-)

Of course rain is predicted for the entire weekend, now that I finally get my act together and leave town for a visit. How typical is that? mutter.

Vegas got his work permit yesterday (three cheers! w00t!) so we're quite excited about that - things are finally all set, just a question of waiting for one more week. *screams* I'm so excited that I dropped milk chocolate bits on the front of my new white t-shirt, they melted and now I can kiss it goodbye. Again, how typical!

I'm in a funk, nothing exciting to blog about so getting away from here for a few days isn't a bad thing.

Sunday night my friend N and I are attending a Presets concert, that ought to ROCK! I'm so excited! They apparently give a really good show so my booty is ready to shake, if it remembers how that is.

Will be interesting to see.

/end of Have A Great Weekend Everyone post/

Suffer Well

Just to end the loop from my post this morning... I watched one of the coolest DM videos today so here it is to tickle your brain - my non-future husband is pretty wicked in this clip and the end bit is worth it, trust me. Do give it a roll but put your bibles away, mmkay?



Because you see, the lady in it? Is his real-life wife.

Cool, innit?

/end of Catch The Moral post/

So far so good...

No encounters with alien twitheads today, thank the frigg jeebus.

This morning was spent at the dentist (yey! A+ for me!), then got a super expensive lip gloss and then had an early Burger King lunch. I have no class sometimes.

Tomorrow night, I'm off to visit my dad for the weekend so I won't be blogging from the boonies... will try to relax and enjoy the fresh air, the tons o'food (my portuguese stepmama is a Julia Child spawn from the tastes of it) and let's see if the four dogs manage not to get in a fistfight.

Nine days until Vegas finally arrives here, forevah.

*happy anxious butterflies*

You can tell I'm a nervous wreck by how disjointed I sound, I talk about nothing and yet four paragraphs later I'm still going.

How do I know Vegas is the one? Well, even my crazy night-time dreams of having my superstar idol rocker fall in love with me and wanting to get married and whisk me away to a villa, I still chose Vegas. Woke up with a huge grin on my face though... He he! Screw you, skinny rockerboy!

/end of I Loves Me a Big Alpha Male post/

Mother Earth

"There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth.

We are all crew."

~Marshall McLuhan, 1964

Poll trolls

I hate 'em!! Why do people spray-paint graffiti on private property, key-scratch cars, steal bicycles and mess with my polls?! WTF?

Anyways. I'm pissed off about that, thanks to Prin for suggesting this week's alternate poll. Keep it up, trolls, and I won't publish any at all. Now go chew on your toejam and leave me alone.

/end of You Piss Me Off post/

Eye popping, gobstopping, down on your knees

While this refers to lyrics from Psyche's "X-Rated", it was also my reaction tonight after stopping by at the vet's to pick up my boy's thyroid meds... thought "what the hell, let's get him weighed to see if he gained any weight since the neutering two months ago".

Gulp. 11 pounds in 2 months.

I don't know how many of you know about akitas, but a 146 lbs male is a pretty damn big and marvelous thing - of course it's all bone and muscle, not fat. Fat dogs are wrong.

At least this explains him eating me out of house and home the past few months. The dogs get the steak, I get the boxed cereal. Awesome :-D

*edited to add a photo of the melonhead*

/end of Proud Mama post/

Ode to minimum wage workers

I ask thee for an egg salad sandwich
Punched in right, one two three
Bill paid, I wait
While you assemble the bread and protein unit

See the monitor up on the wall?
Egg salad sandwich it proudly proclaims!
You look up
Then down
Then up again
Then down at the scoops at your fingertips

Bread sliced, tomatoes laid in a row
Minimum wage worker, why
Does it have to be so difficult?
Chicken lays the eggs
So tell me why
Did you give me a chicken salad sandwich?

I understand you are 30
And probably cannot read
So please do me a favor and
Go work cleaning toilets
Where I will then never again get
A sandwich I never asked for.

Yet another lunch ruined by an imbecile,
I cry in my coffee.

The End.

Pricetag attached

"Freedom is the will to be responsible to ourselves."

~Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols, 1888

Monday's box of chocolates

As in, a hodgepodge of thoughts and yes I do want chocolate but that's besides the point. It's only 10:30am, having a hot cuppa tea so that should hold me - right?

Thought #1:

The back yard of the church on my street is turning into a night camp for the homeless, complete with used needles, plastic syringes, poop in the corners and all. Nobody is monitoring that. Yet yesterday when I crossed the front lawn of the church with my doggies to get to the sidewalk, the old midget four-eyed groundskeeper yelled at me and shoved a piece of paper under my face saying that I would have to pay a fine if my dogs peed on the grass.

How do you think I reacted?

10 points if you said "grabbed the paper, tore it up and yelled back to fine the goddamn stray cats, birds and squirrels too for defecating and desecrating the precious lawn. Fucking moron. He had the gall to call me an imbecile too, can you imagine?

For the record, there was not a drop of pee from either dog on the precious blades of grass, what a freaking lunatic. Next time I might smack him on the ass with a paddle if he dares look at me the wrong way. Who the fuck does he think he is?!

Thought #2:

I still want chocolate.

Thought #3:

I love the gorgeous hot pink umbrella by ShedRain I bought on my way home from work Friday. Isn't it just so pretty? Considering the weather recently it was a damn good investment. If it wasn't so pretty, I'd even consider shoving it up the church midget's arse.

Thought #4:

I better get back to work... no Memorial Day nonsense for us Canucks. Sigh.

/end of This Box Was Full Of Coconuts post/

A word for the wise

"Feeling down? Saddle up."

~Author Unknown

End purge, begin countdown

Yes of course I took it easy today... one step at a time I got my to-do list shaved down to mere stubble, he he!

Honestly? I rested so much since Friday night that my body was go go go all day. Been eating like a bottomless pit and ignoring the lingering head pains (they can fuck off), it has been a most gorgeous warm summer day and I was OUT there! Finally sold my futon today, it was the last obstacle left in the giant purge that is finally done! done! done!

Now the countdown begins... Vegas is here in 13 days! Hard to believe but yeah, times marches on and OMG 13 daaaaaaaays!

*goes into tailspin*

OK I might have overdone it a bit... not feeling so hot now. Signing off, cheers to an early night and zzzzz.

/end of Beat It post/

Alive... barely

I've just crawled out of the nastiest migraine of my life.

It started Friday around noon and it's still holding strong, am grabbing a few moments of non-nausea to let you know I'm ok, just MIA for a reason.

Spent yesterday's gorgeous sunny warm summery day between laying in bed clutching my head in agony and curling up fetal on the bathroom floor, I'm not sure how a person can manage to throw up 3 different times on an empty stomach but yey me, that's what I did.

Right now I feel like a mack truck ran over me, twice.

I need a shower.

I need to take care of my very patient doggies.

I need to eat (yesterday I managed half a can of ginger ale, a banana, and a small piece of toast in the evening).

I've dozed and slept so much, I have no idea what time it is anymore. We're Sunday, right? Jeebuz Christ please let this be over today, pleeease. I have a million things to do and my doggies need me, this isn't funny anymore. Being alone and being incapaciated like this is scary - how I managed to get dressed and take the kids out, I don't know - all I remember is climbing the stairs back up home on hands and knees and barely making it to the toilet for another session of heaving.

If you've never had a migraine, you will not understand this post.

If you have, then I wish you to never get one like this motherload.

Take care, all of yous - dunno when I'll be catching up on blogs but I'll do my best.

/end of Please Let Me Die post/

Since you won't stop asking!

Here is a quick webcam pic of the new shaggy hairdo, which looks different from day to day depending on "bedhead woes". It's longer in the back (a "V" shape) so don't go thinking it's all chopped off butch-style!

I'm kinda scared to see what it will look like after the next shampoo, that's when my curls will rush right back in and turn my head into a giant brillo pad.

Thank goodness for ceramic hair straighteners... now lord give me the patience to take care of my hair, for once, instead of shoving a hat on my head with groans of despair.

Hey! That freaking rhymes! LOL!

The "F" word

"I use the word "fat." I use that word because that's what people are: they're fat. They're not bulky; they're not large, chunky, hefty or plump. And they're not big-boned. Dinosaurs were big-boned. These people are not overweight: this term somehow implies there is some correct weight. There is no correct weight. Heavy is also a misleading term. An aircraft carrier is heavy; it's not fat. Only people are fat, and that's what fat people are! They're fat!" ~George Carlin

I eat queer dinners

Queer, in the normal sense of the word, ie "bizarre". Not gay food, although it was pretty happy in my bowl :-D

Starters: bowl of arugula (rocket, roquette, whatev) with a sprinkling of light extra virgin olive oil, balsamic glaze and toasted sunflower seeds. Awesome.

Finishers: two scoops of vanilla frozen yogurt with a sliced banana, a handful of sweet fresh blueberries, a generous sprinkling of All-Bran cereal, some toasted sesame seeds and a nice thick lovely twirl of Smucker's caramel on top.

*contented sigh*

Conclusion: never buy groceries when you're hypoglycemic, starving and exhausted. And on PMS. I almost took out the butcher's leg on the way to the cash.

The dishes are done, dogs are exercised and fed, they even got a pedicure before I hoovered the whole appartment - yes, I'm tired cuz today at work was a doozy, my head is still reeling. What I would give for a foot rub... sigh.

OH! I almost forgot!

I lost half my hair last night, LOL! Best thing I've done since aaages, my hairdresser rocks (right, Prin?) and I've never gotten so many compliments for a haircut in my entire life, it's freaky. OK it's radically different than what I sported before (stoopid sloppy buns and frizzy poneytails) but still. I know it looks awesome cuz it feels fabulous. Yey!

I think I'm done with tonight's superficial post, my iPod's on and my legs are shaking from tiredness... eyes crossing and all. Time to go see what you've all been up to today and then beddy-bye.

/end of Look Ma, All This With No Booze post/

Page 69 says...

"Religions are like farts.

Yours is good, but everyone else's stinks."

~Picket Fences

I can't believe it! I was wrong!

But I'm happy I was wrong!

David Cook took the crown for 2008's American Idol - wow, am happy for this guy, he really worked his ass off for it. He can saaaang, baby! Archuleta will have a great career, he's still so young - we'll be hearing from him soon enough.

George Michael performed Praying For Time and he was brilliant, as always... gave me goosebumps, dammit. Whew. G'nite peeps.

Example of efficiency

Shop: "Centre du Rasoir", a chain of shops selling various sharp things such as shavers, knives, kitchen stuffs, etc.

Staffed by: young, vapid, bored pimply-faced teenagers with braces and an attitude. Bonus for the cashier who looks just above your forehead when speaking, er - mumbling - to you. Hello! I have eyes! Hellooo!

TD's entrapment: seeing a sign for professional knife sharpening, 50% off. Ooo and it's on my way home from work too, how convenient! Been meaning to get the 3 kitchen knives sharpened for months now, they're as dull as spoons.

Scenario: Knives get dropped off at 2pm Sunday, I am told they would be ready by Tuesday. OK, I can live for two days without cutting anything, right? I'll eat cereal.

Tuesday PM: "Oh we're sorry, the job hasn't been done yet."

Tuesday PM + 30 seconds: "So you're telling me it takes you guys 3 days to sharpen 3 knives. Wow. I want your jobs, please. No, on the other hand keep your minimum-wage jobs, just give me the freaking knives before I use them on you."

OK maybe that wasn't the exact verbal exchange, but you get the idea. Wankers. Lazy-assed, retarded, brainless wankers. Welcome to Quebec, where nobody gives a shit and customer service is an English word that must be looked up in the dictionnaire, if only they knew how to operate one.

/end of Quebec Wanker Rant post/

Nourish with teardrops

"But are not this struggle

and even the mistakes one may make better,

and do they not develop us more,

than if we kept systematically away from emotions?"

~Vincent Van Gogh

Archuleta took the competition

Mark my words... tomorrow David Archuleta will be crowned American Idol for 2008.

All along I was routing for David Cook but really, the young Archie is so much warmer, kinder, sweeter and has the better voice all around - Cook is awesome and will have a nice career à la Daughtry, however IMO his stern face and arrogant postures will rob him of the AI crown and that's too bad. He should have smiled a bit more.

I've been wrong before but like, only once LOL!

Thanks again to everyone who offered their support and advice today during my meltdown... I worked through it (thank you Vegas for being incredibly awesome as always) and am breathing a bit better tonight.

Breathe in.
Breathe out.

See?

Hopefully a good night's sleep will set me right as rain again. Wait, rain sucks - who invented that silly expression anyways?

/end of Cuckoo It's Moi post/

Is it a woman thing??

Just before falling asleep last night, I had the sudden urge - necessity - to go look in my archived emails to see if I had kept any of the correspondance between Vegas and I from last year. Didn't think I had, but just wanted to make sure.

And as life would have it: bingo.

I had kept two emails, only two from the many chats we had over the months, and one of them was the one that set his at-the-time gf off in a rage, cuz it suggested that talking about such deep and personal matters was becoming dangerous. Of course he only meant that emotionally supressed issues were coming to the surface (about how unhappy we were in our lives), nothing more, but she just flipped out - and that caused a month-long lag in our chats after that.

I missed him so much, only I couldn't admit it to anyone, not even to myself. And I miss him now, just as much. So close to finally being there (we did it!!) yet I have this crazy irrational fear of something going wrong, of not seeing him again. WTF is that all about?!

Prin's wise words say "just have to have faith that this situation is different than anything else you've ever done", and she's right. Vegas says that too, for a different purpose, and he's also right. Sigh. It's me the big eejit.

I think what is really bothering me today is melancholy.

I'd blame it on the weather, but it's sunny right now. Freezing, but sunny. I'd blame it on PMS but that only starts in a couple of days. I'd blame it on feeling lonely, but Vegas is there - I only need to reach out to him. I have nothing to blame it on except my stupid voices, who like little demon hands from the quicksands of hell are trying to suck me back into the time where I felt helpless and powerless to change my life.

But dammit! Change it I did, I am here now, I have everything I have ever wanted and dreamed about in my hands. Grateful? Hell, yes. Scared to lose it? More than words can say.

Need to work through this irrational paralysis, digest it one bite at a time.

Please tell me others go through this too, that I'm not a lunatic?

/end of What The Feck Is Going On post/

The naked truth

"Of all the things you wear,

your expression is the most important."

~Janet Lane

Has she gone mad?!

Whatever pissed Mother Nature off, I'd like to know... This is only Day 1 of shit weather for the whole week, almost near freezing temps with nonstop pelting rain and strong winds, how utterly disgusting.

And me, Class A idiot that I am sometimes, left the balcony door open for the dogs today. Awesome. The entire living-room floor is going to be flooded by 5pm and my plants will be half-frozen.

Then I have to take the dogs out in the Moses-a-thon and deal with two wet, stinky, muddy canines for the rest of the evening. Today, tomorrow, the day after...

Jeebus on a popsicle stick! ARGH!

Can't think of anything intelligent to blog about, Canada is on vacation today and I'm the only one sitting in the office like a dork. Oh well, I'm banking this day so when Vegas arrives, we have some free time together - it was the smart thing to do. Not like I was going to go lay in the sunshine reading a book today, eh? Nosiree.

*looks at clock for the gazillionth time*

Oh, I finally watched "Angela's Ashes" Saturday evening (how fitting, eh?), it did a good job of bringing the book to life. Which is ironic, since the book was about a life in the first place. I loved both, despite how awfully depressing it all was.

Is the weather really all that bad in Ireland?...

/end of It's Always About The Weather post/

Hope lives eternal

Tell me how many beads there are

In a silver chain

Of evening rain,

Unravelled from the tumbling main,

And threading the eye of a yellow star:

-So many times do I love again.

~Thomas Lovell Beddoes

Montreal: une ville, une ill

Thanks to Prin for birthing yet another fabulous blog, this one devoted to our beautiful, clean, functional city... Montreal! (click here) Go check it out for yourself, you'll see!

For the anglos, Montreal has a slogan which says "Montreal: une ville, une île" - translated to "Montreal: one city, one island". But, um... yeah. The island needs a trip to the ER, if you know what I mean.

I hope this won't discourage Vegas from moving here... on the other hand if you can't laugh at yourself, eh? Yeah. Pass the scotch.

/end of I Can't Believe My Eyesore post/

Ashes to ashes

It's done. I did it. Holy heck.

!!! I FEEL AWESOME !!!

28 years of cards, letters, journals and photos are now ashes given back to the earth, where they belong... I lost 50 mental and physical pounds in 3.5 hours - at one point we had two fires going, there was sooo much stuff to burn - just crazy.

So yeah, I feel great. Purified, exhausted, stinky (even after a long hot shower), a bit sunburnt and sad that I got home too late to chat with Vegas, but it had to be done.

Thank you N, my best friend through thick and thin for 22 damn years. You handle a fire poker brilliantly.

Thank you my awesome bro (and his awesome new woman, he better keep this one for evah) - thank you for welcoming me to your home, for accompanying me in this journey and for helping fan the flames to keep the fires alive, literally speaking.

Thank you for understanding my need to do this and for making the ceremony possible - I will never forget this day, it is now absorbed karma that will last a lifetime.

And thank you to mr tasty caramel-and-pineapple sundae with a cherry on top for closing the afternoon with such awesomeness.

Whew. Doggies are now wiped out after a big dinner, they're sighing themselves to sleep and smelling like a chimney, god bless 'em. They seemed to have a good time too, am proud of them for being such well-behaved loves (except that one time they escaped to the swamp and came back sporting "black boots", merrr. Thank goodness for garden hoses).

Vegas, although I did this for myself, you were the inspiration and the drive. Thank you for your love, for your support, for believing in me and for being the best friend a lover could ever dream for. I love thee :-)

/end of Happy Mooshy Post/

Man, the cruelest beast of all

"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls.

They always say because it's such a beautiful animal.

There you go. I think my mother is attractive,

but I have photographs of her."

~Ellen DeGeneres

"Coconut or baby wipe"?

Read today:

A highlight of this year's Easter promotion by the Jelly Belly company (as additions to its 50 standard flavors) was its surprise BeanBoozled boxes, with odd tastes and non-standard colors.

Although garlic beans, buttered-toast beans and cheese pizza beans are no longer available, connoisseurs can sample jelly beans made to taste like pencil shavings, ear wax, moldy cheese and vomit.

A Jelly Belly spokeswoman told Newhouse News Service in March "There are 20 flavors in each little box ... so you don't know what flavor you are tasting ... coconut or baby wipe."

[Cleveland Plain Dealer, 3-22-08]

Words fail me.

/end of Baby Wipe My Mouth post/

Why is it that...

...the time you decide to skip leg shaving, the next day it's so hot you need to wear a skirt hence exposing said cacti?

...they day you need to put a freakish amount of trash out on the sidewalk, the trucks come two hours early and you missed the week's garbage run?

...the day you wear that nice pressed white blouse or shirt to work is the day you bring spaghetti for lunch?

...the time your gas tank is emtpy and you say "bah I'm too tired, I'll gas up tomorrow", the next day gas prices skyrocket?

...the phone invariably rings when you're in the bathroom or washing dishes?

...the day you burn your toast is also the day you knock your glass of juice on the floor, accidentally stab yourself in the eye with mascara and stub your toe on the corner of the table?

(no these things did not all happen to me today, but they have all happened at one time or another... sometimes in succession!)

/end of Wow That's Lucky post/

Time... waits for no one.

"Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite. Or waiting around for Friday night or waiting perhaps for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil or a better break or a string of pearls or a pair of pants or a wig with curls or another chance. Everyone is just waiting."

~Dr. Seuss

1218, where did you go?

Your blog has "disappeared" all of a sudden. I hope that it's only a technical glitch and that you're ok... I'm worried about you!

One for Frank

Since he asked what good things Sweden had really given the world... I present you "Swedish Chef"!

Apology to Norway

So my Norwegian friend kindly pointed out that Sweden didn't give the world fjords, Norway did. I stand corrected and eat my words, which taste like burnt toast this morning. Pass the jam.

My morning routine is so down pat, I could do it with my eyes closed - and I often do. Yay and boo for routines, cuz damn they're dull but they do speed up things when you're late, which I always am. It's even part of the routine now :-D

Hit snooze twice on alarm.
Finally drag ass out of comfy warm bed.
Mutter and groan.
Get dressed eat brekkie, drink latte while catching up on blogs and stuff.
Take dogs out for bio break walk.
Feed dogs, change their water, wash the dishes.
Brush teeth, put on face.
Get lunch and things together.
Lock door, forget something inside, unlock door.
Walk to work, speed does vary though.
Get to work 30 minutes late.

*yawn* At this rate the boredom is likely to kill me before city pollution does - am I the only one with such a tick-tock-clock morning life?

/end of I Need A Jolt post/

Too much to live for, always

Death twitches my ear. "Live," he says, "I am coming."

~Virgil (Publius Vergilius Maro), Minor Poems, Copa

Progress and boring Swedes

So hot and lovely here today, makes me freak out a little to be stuck inside at work but I'll sneak away for a bit later on. Not like it won't be like this all summer anyways, just gotta get used to it.

I'd really love a job working outside though, from spring until autumn. Sigh. Maybe someday my dream will come true.

In the meantime it's shoving the paperwork to earn the pennies to be able to afford that elusive freedom... we do play the lottery here but to date no luck, I keep thinking "this week we win the jackpot!" but nope. What a crock!

Progress report: the bike which is clogging up my living room leaves Saturday morning (it was sold), the big bins of paperwork and photographs to burn are also leaving Saturday, as is the big clunky futon that takes up half the back room - yey! My dogsitter's brother is happy to take it off my hands so I'm happy to give the damn thing to him.

Sunday, I will celebrate this newfound space - of course it's all temporary cuz Vegas' stuff arrives in a month and then we'll be crammed in again, but hey I get a month! w00t!

This girl is happy with the smallest of things.

(not man-bits though)

Speaking of Vegas, right now he's stuck in tradeshow hell in Sweden, I almost feel sorry for him but the photos he keeps sending me are so frickin' hilarious (think: fashion crimes), I'm having a ball! oooo what a bad "trophy wife" I can be... and I'm too far to get spanked so neener neener!

So Sweden gave us the Swedish Chef, fjords, ABBA and... um...

*crickets*

I guess they can't all be winners.

/end of Foggy Brain post/

Different yet all the same

"Most men would kill the truth if truth would kill their religion."

~Lemuel K. Washburn, Is The Bible Worth Reading And Other Essays

Self-pimp my blog!

OK I am totally pimping out my Snapshots Blog (click me!) here... but only if you like flowers, which means boys are not allowed. You go play with tonka trucks in the dirt or sumtin.

He he just messin' - by all means go see the belles fleurs!

A small sample of this week's goodies "over there":

25 days!!

Yeeessss! 25 days left until Vegas lands here for good - sigh. Am grinning like a cow drunk on maryjane grass, all I need now is a proper roll in the hay.

Health? Ze migraine only has one foot left in the building but I am doing my best to stomp that sucker flat. Frankly I have other things to do with my life besides writhe in pain with every heartbeat. Raaargh!

So while doing random work things earlier today, a story I once read popped into my head and I felt the need to share it with you - do read on, it's lovely:

Two Nickels and Five Pennies

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?"

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it.

"How much is a dish of plain ice cream?" he inquired.

Some people were now waiting for a table and the waitress was a bit impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she said brusquely.

The little boy again counted the coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table, and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and departed. When the waitress came back, she began wiping down the table and then swallowed hard at what she saw.

There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies - her tip.

From The Best of Bits & Pieces -
A 3rd Serving of Chicken Soup for the Soul
Copyright 1996 by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

All this to say that a bit of trust, patience and empathy can go a long way towards making this world a better place to live in. Not everyone is out to harm, upset or rob you; not everyone looks at you and sees failure. Sometimes you will find strangers offering you the kindest of words, the most caring of gestures.

That is not to say "wear rose-colored glasses all the time" and get taken advantage of - just be street-smart but open enough to see love and beauty where they peek through the cracks and crevices, flowers intermingling with the urban decay.

Life is balance and balance is a beam we should all learn to walk on with grace and dignity. After all, the mirror will only reflect your naked soul: what color do you want it to be?

/end of Ponderous post/

Life can wait until tomorrow

Lights out at 9pm, I feel like a kid with a curfew.

*yey me*

I look forward to catching up on your blogs tomorrow... hope I didn't miss any dramahs. And because I'm a good TD, I'll leave you with a bit o'kick-ass action, cuz Jackie is a genius. G'nite!

Sick day :(

My brain decided to go haywire last night, broadcasting 34 channels of loud crap music until 6am, at which point The Migraine decided to join the party.

I was not impressed.

Am now stoned on pain meds, groggy as hell and completely useless so yeah, I didn't go in to work today. Mleh.

Going to nap alot this afternoon and take it easy... at least I sold my bike, my god that was fast: less than 24 hours and I had four offers! I sold it to the first lady who called though, cuz that's just the right thing to do. Am so sad to see it go though. There goes another chunk of my past.

/end of Monday Headbanger post/

The pitfalls of love

There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.

We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.

~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Twice tagged, one post :)

Did this weekend ever fly by, or whot? Sigh.

*settles down to finally relax a bit with a cold crisp microbrewery beer*

I'm sure you're all pretty much sick and tired of hearing me bitch and moan about how much elbow grease I've been putting out lately, so I'll spare you the details. The end result is that good progress has been made, I feel comfortable with my timeline and boy is this Ritter Sport chocolate ever good... reeeerr!

Also I hope all this sneezing is a reaction to the settling dust (Vegas, you know what I mean...) and not an impending cold. I have no time to get sick.

So, on to the memes!

First one up is from Fallen Angel, meme is to write a message for "posterity" no longer than 10 words... Hmmm that's a toughie - words of wisdom are all jostling for space in my head so I guess I would pick:

"Life is what happens when you're busy making plans."

I don't know who the author of that quote is, but maybe someone out there does? Please chime in if you do, cuz I want to kiss this angel's hair! This quote keeps me grounded in the worst of times, keeps things real. Yeah.

Next meme is from Sian:

1. What was I doing 10 years ago?
Oh jeez... 1998. Working for the same company I am now, before I left to come back again. Was in a nice quiet relationship that was going nowhere, but it was welcome break from the usual chaos. I learned how to make a mean Brunswick Stew that year.

2. What are 5 things on my to-do list today, not in any particular order?
Hah! Only five eh? Um, OK - sell my awesome bike, wash the bedsheets (rrrr), vaccuum for the 5th time in a week, make amends with Vegas cuz arguing sucks, finish the grocery run. Bonus: have a beer to celebrate.

3. Snacks I enjoy:
Popcorn, glorious popcorn! Chocolate, granola bars, juicy sweet oranges and apples, a stick of cheese... I had to give up chips, booo.

4. Places I've lived:
Besides Canada and Germany? That's it!

5. Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
Roll around naked in melted chocolate and lick myself to death.

Since it's Sunday night and I'm lazy, you're all tagged for these memes! Mouahahahahhaa! Bet you're sorry you clicked on my blog today, eh? Too bad, now git ta work! *cracks whip*

/end of Happy Mother's Day To Me post/

Sigh.

"This mess is a place!"

~Author Unknown

Frantic weekend

Someday weekends will be for relaxing... someday.

For now I'm still trying to "spring clean" this dump into shape so that when Vegas moves here in a month with his stuff, there is actually place to put everything.

Christ, it hurts to move... my muscles are hating me right now. I had to scrub both dogs last night after they ran away and rolled in a muddy ditch (asshats!), when I was done the bathroom looked like a furbomb hit so I had to scrub that too - yep, all at the end of a very long work week. Awesome.

Today I woke up to a thick layer of dog fluff roaming the appartment in the breeze, so I had to vaccuum for the 4th time in six days before the sneezes became too horrid. Fucks sake! Is this damn coat blow ever going to end?!

And now, six hours later, it's not much different.

I give the hell UP!

. . . takes deep breath . . .

I finally got my bike from the shop and put it up for sale - sniff. Gonna miss that bugger when it's gone, they really did a great job on it. I'd so keep it if I lived in the country and had place to store it. I hope it sells quickly before I change my mind!

Food so far: two buttered toasts with cheese, a glass of orange juice, a bowl of broccoli and a diet coke. A few bites of chocolate. There is no fruit in the house and I'm too exhausted to do groceries today so merrr. Can't wait to meet the gang later this evening for a juicy burrrgerrr and a beer. A root beer, that is. Hope my stomach holds out until then cuz I feel faint as tissue paper.

Back to the grinder... hope you're all having a better weekend than I am!

/end of Whining No Dining post/

Just... be.

"God has given you one face, and you make yourself another."

~William Shakespeare

My very first blog award!

Thank you 1218 Blog for the honour... I am thrilled, surprised and oh so very flattered! I feel a bit like the Velveteen Rabbit now... The Bubblegum Diaries have been made "real"! Awe.

I must pass the torch to a few fellow bloggers that keep me entertained, intrigued and smiling like an eejit through the days (of course if you are on my blogroll I adore you daily so heck, grab the badge too!):

Prin for her daily insightful humour and sharp tongue, PrincessB for her courage at shaking life by the balls with a smile on her face, and Wayfaring Wanderer for her amazing photography and sweet musings.

My life is really enriched by all of you so... um... THANKS!!

Yaddi yadda

In case you're looking for some Friday eye-candy, I posted the last of the Australian Beach photos on my Snapshots blog - click here! Back to my own photography as of this weekend... just need to find new subject matter, I'm so fecking bored of this city's landscape. Mleh.

Any of you planning summer holidays? If so, where to? I'd love some mental escapism... am not going anywhere this year (booo) and am struggling with that. Double mleh.

People are funny. I brought down a crapload of garbage to the sidewalk last night after clearing out the old back locker outside (super old dirty plastic lawn chairs, some old bright blue painted wooden planks, thin warped old sheets of plywood, a milk crate of dusty old home-made cassette tapes from the 80's & early 90's, and a few other knick knacks).

Lo and behold!

Everything was gone this morning, not a scrap left!

And the garbage pickup is only Friday evening so it wasn't the city. Very strange. So I tested it again this morning: brought down two old ratty dirty window screens and a few other things, went to walk the dogs - it's a 20 minute walk - and guess what wasn't there anymore when I came back.

It's almost funny! What the hell, do losers cruise around residental blocks looking to raid anything not wrapped in a black garbage bag? That stuff isn't even recyclable, even if you clean it up wtf are you gonna use it for?

Blows my mind but hey, pleeease take it away. Here's a quarter and keep the change.

/end of Mystery Scrapyard post/

You may laugh at me but...

I don't care what anyone says - Kenny Roger's "Lady" is still one of my all-time favorite songs. This awesome live performance gives me goosebumps, specially towards the end... what a voice, what lyrics, what heart and soul.

I was only 10 years old at the time it rocked to the top of the charts (yes, do the math... this was 1980) and I loved it the first time I heard it on the radio in my mom's rusty old Pinto. To this day the song remains a classic for many, a new discovery for some and, for me, a quirk off the usual electro techno funk I normally listen to.

Kenny, thanks for the voice. You rock.

Make it count

"Homecoming unites the past and the present."

~Author Unknown

Consensus was: penises

From googling and from your feedback, the plural of penis is definitely "penises". Glad to get that question out of the way once and for all... *clears throat*

Moving along...

Never shop for shoes at the end of a day, jeez even I know that. So what did I do last week? I bought a pair of shoes at the end of the day. Oh wait, even better: I tried on the sample in the store and didn't like the color, so I had another colour ordered just for me - yep.

Brilliant. Buying mystery shoes.

This morning I opened the box, unwrapped the shoes (remember, I can't wear cheap shoes and I can't return them either, so I'm stuck with them) and they looked perfect. Left foot: hmm the big toe is a little tight but the leather should stretch, it'll be fine. The right foot floats in the shoe like a flip-flop.

Yep that's right, Miss Asymmetry is screwed! Crap! I had no choice but to break them in on my 30-minute walk to work, c'mon feet! Swell up! Please! These are supposed to be my "super comfy flat walking shoes for no-sock days"!

Ankle blisters hurt. Ow. Ow. Ow.

/end of Will I Ever Learn post/

Don't you sea?

"The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea."

~Isak Dinesen

Does anyone know?

Don't laugh but I am having a brain fart at the moment... what is the plural of penis? is it penises? peni? penie? penusses?

No reason behind the question, just one of those random thoughts that pop up while perusing through endless excel spreadsheets that make your eyes cross horrendously.

I'd be an awesome invisible cop

Every day I see things that just raise my hackles - boy, if I were a ghost cop? NAILED!! Hah you think it's just a regular girl walking down the street but nooo: she is Ghost Cop out to ticket your ass!

You! Driving while talking on the cellphone this morning? Ticket!
You! Turning left when the huge sign says no left turns? Ticket!
You! Letting your dog crap on the sidewalk and not picking it up? Ticket!
You! Burning a very red traffic light? Ticket!
You! Riding your bike on the sidewalk and hitting pedestrians? Ticket!

Merrr. I really missed my calling.

/end of Out Ta Git Cha post/

Four weeks, three days

"Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off."

~Author Unknown

Humans are stoopid

But their stupidity is awfully funny sometimes :-D

3000 calorie dinner: yay me!

OK maybe there were a few calories less, who's counting...

Had the best hot crispy juicy fried chicken evah last night! and awesome fries and gravy! and a root beer! And today after the salad lunch we went out for amazing gelato, I had chocolate and rum raisin, oh heaven...

*insert party dancing guy*

Sorry but I was tired of being hungry all the time. Basically I eat well, my dogs exercise me plenty, my man loves me the way I am (while I still have issues with my body but we're mending fences) so I'll indulge in a sin here and there if I feel like it, ok?

Good. :-)

My brother is coming by after work to pick up a trunkful of stuff I need to get rid of, he's happy and I'm happy, yay for famblies that help each other out! He's getting a big box of CD's, a crapload of DVD's, a new bathrobe that is too big for me, a brand new computer backpack (still has tags on it for jeeper's sake), a winter coat, two lawn chairs (very practical in the city when you have a small balcony - not!), two CD storage units, and a bunch of other stuff I forget. Cuz I'm old.

I hope his girlfriend wants to buy my bike...

In other news, I bought tickets for my friend N and I to go see The Presets on June 1st, their new album Apocalypso is perfection and they apparently give a rockin' live show. On a Sunday night. Whooops.

/end of I Love Sin post/

Evolved... to what?

"The poverty of our century is unlike that of any other. It is not, as poverty was before, the result of natural scarcity, but of a set of priorities imposed upon the rest of the world by the rich. Consequently, the modern poor are not pitied...but written off as trash. The twentieth-century consumer economy has produced the first culture for which a beggar is a reminder of nothing." ~John Berger

You've. Gotta. Be. Kidding.

Read today:

"Many of my young patients think about getting plastic surgery the way they'd think about getting their hair done," explained Dr. David Alessi of Beverly Hills, Calif., who is still amazed at women's willingness to endure "extreme" cosmetic alterations.

"Vaginal rejuvenation" (labiaplasty) might be the most sensational procedure, but surgeons also do "forehead implants" and ankle and shoulder liposuction, break and reset jaws to tweak smiles, and lengthen or shorten toes (for "toe cleavage" with certain shoes). Alessi told a Glamour magazine writer for an April story that one 25-year-old recently asked him to "remove" her navel (whereas most umbilicoplasty patients merely request reshaping).

Said a bemused colleague, "There's some consensus about what makes for an attractive ... face, but we have no definition of the ideal navel."

[MSNBC-Glamour, 4-20-08]

I am out of words.

Australian beaches, anyone?...

Since the scenery around here is still pretty lame for a few more weeks, I've decided to host a guest photographer on my Bubblegum Snapshots blog - be sure to visit often this week for some pretty cool Austalian beach scenes, tropical water and sexy surfers and all!

Not much to report... had a crappy short sleep, it's Monday, after a cold wet pewter gray weekend it's finally sunny and warm again (of course) and I'm locked in this office for the next five days: blah.

Hope you all have exciting things to blog about, cuz I sure don't and I need the inspiration. Inspirayshon.

English is a funny language.

Sigh. Days like this, I want to retire tomorrow and just spend hours outside tending to the earth (I love gardening), watching the clouds go by and feeling free. Right now? Trapped lab rat and getting a bit claustrophobic.

/end of Mondays Are Shite post/

Indebt yourself

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." ~Friedrich Nietzsche

A jaunt in numbers

A weekend snapshot, tallied à la Prin:

Number of coffees needed to stay awake despite good sleep hours: 4

Number of hours spent for the dogs (grooming, exercising, making food for, cuddling with and cleaning up after): About 6

MSM chatting hours with Vegas: 3

Number of hours spent de-junking and cleaning the house: 8

Number of giant trash bags filled with said clutter: 4

Times hands were washed to get rid of the grime: About 27 per day

Blisters on hands: 1

Broken fingernails: 3

Number of times the words "oooww" or "ooowww it hurts" were uttered in reference to the stabbing back and neck pain: 372

Money spent on a few groceries: $52.19

Number of movies watched: 0

Number of times sex (or lack thereof) crossed my mind: 27

Calories eaten in the form of sugar: 3693

Items left on my to-do list: 8 (crap!)

/end of mathematical frustration post/

Love is food

"[W]hen you realize you want to spend

the rest of your life with somebody,

you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

~Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally

A cool wet weekend

I would have preferred a warm sunny one but this way I had no guilt sleeping until 10:30 this morning... and the growing gardens need the water, yey!

Going to put a pot of home-made soup stock to simmer on the stove this afternoon and my friend N is coming over later for dinner and maybe a movie, so that's my excitement for the day.

Off for a long hot shower and then I'll continue purging my CD collection... had the brilliant idea of throwing all the dusty bulky plastic cases away and compiling all the CDs (each with their cover) into a few handy portable cases I had laying around. What a space-saver, and it's so much more practical too! I still have a few dozen albums to give away along with some storage units, can't wait to get rid of it all.

New life with Vegas, new peaceful living space.

I love it!

/end of Busy Yet Quiet Weekend/

Every minute counts

"The idea is to die young as late as possible."

~Ashley Montagu

Ta(l)king the garbage out

Tuesdays and Fridays are garbage days, which means I can emtpy out the locker junk one bit at a time.

Not easy to manoeuvre two heavy trash bags and an armful of slippery metal poles down three twisty flights of stairs but oooomph does it ever feel good to lay that to rest on the sidewalk... and poof! everything magically disappears a few hours later.

Gotta love our garbage picker-uppers but gotta hate the landfills :-(

Talking the trash out is almost as hard but thankfully, it makes the mental landfill smaller and smaller after each conversation and ensuing struggle to get to the bottom of things once and for all.

You know I'm talking about baggage here, right? The stuff our past life has cruddied up our souls with and left us squinting throught half-lit windows, wondering what is really us and what is past dirt?

Yeah. Time for spring cleaning.

All you need is a bottle of determination, a few rags of honesty, a can of trust, a bucket of courage and a patient, loving friend to help you with the task. In my case Vegas is there for me but it can be anyone you feel you can clean with - just DOOWIT. You'll shed mental pounds, I promise!

/end of Garbage Out post/

Men just don't understand!

Thanks to Prin for this gem!

Funny junk... click at your own risk!

You can't say you weren't warned... CLICK HERE for some pretty hilarious visuals! Most are hysterical, some are disturbing, others are "wtf?" but all will make you waste a few minutes of your day, guaranteed.

Thanks to Vegas for making me laugh, always.

Baldilocks

My fuzzbutt melonhead is going bald - and i have the tufts of fluff all over my house to prove it!

Man I hate these bi-annual coat blows... His fur is so thin right now he looks pink!! I've been reassured this is normal for some akitas and it will grow back in a month or so, but still. I could do without the random fluffs on my morning toast.

Speaking of food, I caved in yesterday and went for that burger and fries, which I enjoyed immensely. And today? Caffeine, need loads of caffeine and I'm goin' for it. Deprivation is not for me, no thanks!

I hate my hair.

I keep it in a sloppy bun cuz I can't stand the frizz, the haircut's all wrong and it's too long to do anything useful with. But if I cut it, it'll only be worse - I don't even like short hair on myself, ugh. WTF am I supposed to do?? I'm out of ideas and patience! *cries*

OK I'm boring the fuck out of myself now, rather fetch a hot coffee and git back to work.

Signed,

Crabby McCrab

/end of Why Are You Reading This post/