As I lay my head to sleep...

The best reason for having dreams is that in dreams

no reasons are necessary.

~Ashleigh Brilliant

P.O.S. blogger! ARGH!

I haven't been ignoring any of you, just fighting blogger all day trying to publish something, anything - and forget about clicking the links to my favorite blogs, it's all completely fried.

Must have closed down IE7 at least 50 times today before screaming "FACKOFF!" at my computer. s. both of them... at work and now here at home. So I know it's not the server at work, eh?

Help!! I can't find a way to contact Blogger support to report this wonkyness, and how to even explain the issues. Wah.

*frustrated*

At least there were no dog tummy troubles tonight - grateful for small mercies, here. Dinner was an orange cuz at lunch I was a bad girl and had junk food with the gang (burger and fries... yum), my tummy is hungry but my brain just revolts at the thought of food. Funny, that.

Ooooh CSI has a bunch of sexy strippers on - apparently what happens in Vegas, doesn't always stay in Vegas. Awesome! Tits and ass for everybody!

/end of post/

Blogger is driving me crazy!

Is it just me, or has Blogger been acting up lately? And not just a little bit, either, I'm talking full-out crashings and hang-ups and errors and ARGH!!! Makes my blood pressure boil!

*meditates for 0.5 seconds*

So guess what I woke up to this morning, yet again. Yep - the big bonehead dog was sick on the kitchen floor (think: butt explosions in the middle of the night), how lovely is the smell of dog sh*t when you're trying to make breakfast? Too cold outside to open up the windows after cleaning, so the stench is there for a while.

Not to mention the mad dash outside 30 seconds after I woke up, fack it's cold when you're still sleepy - ice everywhere and I almost landed on my ass a couple of times. Just happy I moved out of the way when butt explosion #2 hit the dog. Ugh.

Funny how the little one recuperates in 6 hours after an upset tummy while the big one takes 4 to 5 days. Poor fella had no dinner last night and this morning he sulked cuz his breakfast consisted of two immodiums. Just goes to show that paying big money for a dog is no guarantee of perfect health, eh?

I love big dogs, the bigger the better. But... when they are sick... OMG you small dog owners are so lucky!

Big storm brewing for tomorrow, Prin I hope you'll make it out to the airport OK and that the flight takes off. Crossing fingers and toes for you. If not, you better have bought insurance on your ticket!

Keeping things close to my heart

I'll admit my posts have been kinda on the vague side lately... I guess it's a mix of my life being ho-hum with routine stuff and me not really comfortable with blogging about the important stuff going on.

Sure sounds like a recipe for y-a-w-n, eh?

Oh well - it is what it is right now. I imagine it will change later on when I loosen up about "stuff", with the conscious thought that no matter what I write, it will probably hurt or offend at least one person - just like real life. On the upside, it would be nice to just be me, the loudmouth, and consequences be damned!

Two photos from today's lovely weather:

The view from my livingroom balcony door, 7:30am. Awesome. It was great fun walking the two furkids in that soaking icy windy mess. NOT.

And later on in the day, the view from my office. How inspiring is that? Again... awesome. Oh and this was taken with my camera phone, hence the crappy photo quality - but I do love the toy!

Anyhoo. The streets have dried up, tomorrow we are one day closer to the weekend, I'm off for a hot frothy shower (mmm! new fruity gel!) and the chocolate bar I polished off was yummy.

I miss my man like hell. Hope he knows I dream of him every night.

'tis true, that

Being a lady is an attitude. ~Chuck Woolery, Love Connection

I am a professional girlfriend!

Well... that's according to this test (go on, take it!) - thanks to Secret Monologues for the idea!

My results?

You Are A Professional Girlfriend!

You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise! Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro. If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you. You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy.

ooo! Hear that, Vegas? You lucky man, you! *grin*

/end of post/

Holy awful weather, batman!!

I just walked the dogs over to the sitter's (he is off today, lucky!) and my pants are soaking, my heart is pounding from near-avoidances with death and I'm scared to go out again. WTF!!

It's pouring rain, crazy winds blowing all over the place so walking is extremely dangerous on the icy wet sidewalks and streets, with cars skidding all over the place and snow melting into giant puddles with icy bottoms - where are the boot chains when you need them? And later the temps go back down to freeze everything into a mega ice rink. Argh!

*sips hot coffee and sighs*

Time to try to get to work... wish me luck. Be careful out there, peeps.

State of affairs

"It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat." ~Robert Fuoss

New addition to the bubblegum family!

Thank you to Wayfaring Wanderer for the inspiration to devote a blog to my photography... not that I'm a professional or have devoted any time to learning Photoshop or anything, but what the hell.

You can check it out at Bubblegum Snapshots if you like... I promise to make is snazzier with time, this is just a very basic start to what I hope will be an interesting gallery.

Now if I could only figure out how to get more free hours in the day to devote to this fun hobby... I'd be all set!

Bah. Just bear with me until I get it all sorted out, kay? :-)

/end of post/

I'm working on something

Well, besides the work at work I mean - durr. Hope to have it all set up tonight or tomorrow, I'll give you guys the candy then.

Only two more days until this godforsaken month is over and done with for another year - geesh is it just me or do Januaries suck? They're long, they're cold, they're dark and broke cuz now is the time to pay for the money spent at Christmas... Credit cards! Bug off!

A lot of people around me are super sick lately (like, bronchitis and antibiotics sick, not just a bad cold) while I just tiptoe along, hoping not to catch anything... must be all the oranges. Didn't I tell you to eat oranges? Tsk.

/end of post cuz I gotta work/

Had to share this, LOL!

A friend sent me this gem...

The following is the 2007 winning entry from an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.

This year's term: Political Correctness.

"Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

/end of post/

A puppy is for life

My big boy as a wee pup... yes, he was as soft as as a velvet bunny and his feet smelled like fritos. They grow too fast :-(

Cereal for dinner is perfectly acceptable

I'm living like a student - can't be bothered to cook up a Dinner For One after a long day's work and then tending to the boneheads so voilà, muesli it is. Miam. If I'm really baaaad I may have some chocolate later and a glass of pinot noir that needs to be polished off.

Also perfectly acceptable to crash at 10pm.

*huge yawwns*

Before I go, I'd like to share a "good one" a friend emailed me. I guess it's Part 3 of my rant from the other day, how today's kids have it so different than we did 30 years ago. Not better, mind you: just different.

Read on!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what, with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning... uphill BOTH ways yada, yada, yada!

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!

There was no email. We had to actually write somebody a letter...with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no frigging idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids' and the graphics sucked! Your guy was just a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and harder and faster until you died!

Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your a$$ and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire.... imagine that!

If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled!

You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980! Oh yea, and a seatbelt was Mom throwing her arm across your chest every time she hit the brakes.

Regards,
The over 30 Crowd

Wow this Monday doesn't suck!

Mind you, it's only half-over... better not press my luck and shaddap about it. Just had a most juicy and sweet orange to go with the flow and am now typing with sticky fingers. w00h00!

Note to self: glow-in-the-dark look not in fashion anymore, get ass to tanning asap.

I think this is one of my shortest posts evah.

/the end/

Say what you will...

This song is gorgeous and try as I might, I can't get sick of it... maybe because I now have a powerful anchor to it - Vegas, are you feeling it?


Timbaland feat. One Republic - Apologize

It's a roar, not a purr stupid!

If it's natural to kill, why do men have to go into training to learn how?

~Joan Baez, "What Would You Do If....?"

Anatomy of a half-baked weekend

Saturday a.m.:

Woke up feeling pretty good, then remembered it was my bday. Oh well, they can't all be winners, eh?

Had breakfast, got dressed and decided to take the dogs out for a run in the field cuz the rest of the day was going to be busy. At this point I am still on schedule and pleased with myself.

On the way to the car, the dogs spy a cat and then the day went downhill from there. It took 3 seconds for me to land on my ass on the icy sidewalk and have the leash yanked from my hand - poor old alley cat never knew what hit him :-( No amount of me screaming at the dogs made any difference - they were having a ball playing "chew toy" with the screeching hissing pissing cat, I had to kick it off their heads to get a hold of the beasts to end the carnage.

Cat piss is worse than skunk juice.

I have no idea if the cat survived, what a nightmare. Felt sick all day after that incident - stupid me put the dogs in the car and drove them out to the field anyways, and as I was driving the stench it me. Oh gawd. Now the car was a catpiss bomb :-(

And of course my mom was visiting me, first time in years - nice way to welcome her... "hi mom, here are some nose plugs. Welcome to Montreal".

4 loads of laundry later (and my boots still reek), stinky dogs out on the balcony wondering wtf was happening, frantic house vaccuuming and dusting and tidying up ensued, still needed to take a shower and feed the dogs and get ready to drive to the bus station... STRESS.

Saturday p.m.:

Mom was nice enough to "not notice" the stinky car and doggies... it was a lovely sunny afternoon so after some deep breathing we went shopping (I live in the heart of street boutique land), she helped me pick out a couple of gifts for Vegas and yeah, we had a great time. My mom rocks :-)

Back home for a glass of Pinot Noir while catching up on life and tons of photos, then dinner at the sweet pizzeria next door, back home for jammies and "War Of The Worlds" since she had never seen it... everything was fine until she went to bed and then "the mood" hit me.

Was it the one glass of wine I had 5 hours before?!

I'm not on PMS and there was no reason to feel so suddenly depressed, shitty and missing Vegas to the point of having shaking hands and "can't breathe", tears choking me like a vise... Fucking hell it was insane. Thank god Prin was online, she was my lifeline for some pretty shaky moments... it was too late to call Vegas but what could he have done, anyways? My problem to deal with.

Had a bad short sleep and then it's Sunday a.m.:

Woke up feeling mostly like myself again - or am I faking it?... Had a nice breakfast with mom, got to webcam with Vegas and Farley (how I love her!) and then we set out for a walk with the furries, shopped some more, visited my dogsitter and then had to drive mom back to the bus station: officially, I declare the visit was too short! We must do this again sometime soon, yes? Yes!

Sunday p.m.:

Here I am, after a screaming fit with the dogs AGAIN, only this time they ran away from me in the big field and left me there frozen and with a full bladder, waiting like an idiot for a good 20 minutes until they deemed they had had enough and wanted to go home... until the little one saw a dog across the street and then she not only went deaf, she went STOOPID on me, almost got hit by cars twice and completely ignored me calling her... even worse? The closer I got, the further away she kept running from me INTO THE TRAFFIC.

I gave up, took the big one in the car and drove around to where she had run off, coaxed her back into the car where I whacked the shit out of her, fuck I was mad! She knows damn well to come when I tell her to, WTF?! Argh!

I swear to god... they are *this close* to being dropped off at the S-P-C-A.

*this close*.

My blood pressure is still way through the roof, my throat is raw from the screaming and my nerves are shot. Am exhausted but still need to get the groceries done (mostly meat for the dogs - why do I bother?!), still missing Vegas to the point of wondering if it would be better to cut off all communication for the next month - maybe it would be easier? Cuz this is hell and turning me into a rabid bitch.

You guys tell me - I need all the help I can get before I go mental.

I'm not sure who this person squeezed in my skin is. :-(

So. How does it feel?

How does it feel to be "a year older", Technodoll?

Well frankly my dear... I don't give a damn!

I don't feel any different and I won't act any different... this refusal to grow old has anchored itself in my soul ages ago and even if the calendar taunts me with "numbers" - well screw that, I ain't lookin' ;-)

This is me testing my new camera phone yesterday, mentally cursing turning 38 and wishing it was all a bad dream (I don't like posting pics of myself so this photo will probs not be up here long):


Anyways. Life is what it is, a symphony of contradictions at this point... days! go by faster cuz I really need to be with Vegas now! days! stop flying by so fast, there is too much living to do and I'm not ready to die!

Yes, I have voices in my head: I've named them uncle jo and aunt matilda.

*munches more ginger snaps*

Um, what else... bought some lovely pyjama bottoms and underwear today (when my favorite local lingerie boutique has a 60% off everything sale, you bet I'm shopping), oh and some chocolate too. Must never forget the essentials - right, Prin? *wink*

Sigh. Off to bed soon, just updating my videos (left-hand side of the blog... does anyone even notice these things? LOL!) and tomorrow morning will be a mad scramble to get all the cleaning up done before my mom arrives, of course I was a lazy ass tonight and did nothing.

Oh well. It's my birthday and I'll procrastinate if I want to!

Cheerios, peeps.

For Vegas

Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars

How beautiful is this song? Simple yet haunting lyrics... for me it is Brighton, it is Vegas and Farley in the car, it is the Laines and the magical silver shop. It is love, hope and beauty... it is Life in 2008. Raaaah!

/end of post/

Gimme my C!

An orange a day keeps the cold away... is it a coincidence that the best citrus crops are yielded during these cold winter months? Hmm.

Finally Friday - gott sei dank! The only downfall is my damn birthday tomorrow (ugh), I won't have much time to blog cuz my mom is coming to visit me for some "girlie time" - she leaves Sunday. Should be fun though, my mom is a cool kat and we always get into silly adventures, mouah ha ha ha!

Sigh. Two weeks down and four more to go until Vegas finally gets here for a visit, am still waiting for the point at which this waiting gets easier - or is that just a myth?

*taps foot impatiently*

My brain is banana pudding this morning. Don't feel like working, so sleeepy... am debating whether to splurge on lunch with coworkers today but knowing my lazy ass self, will probs just eat the stuff I brought while playing online scrabble and trying not to shop online for anything.

Why?

Because I don't need anything.

OK shopping is not always for must-haves, it's also often for want-to-haves... but how can I get a grip on my finances if I can't mod myself? Living alone means bigger bills on the same salary, and like hell will I ever get into debt again! No thanks.

I have all I need for now and am content with that. If ever in doubt about your own lives: try not to look at the two people who have it "better" than you, but rather look at the two dozen people who don't.

That's a wake-up call, for sure.

I love this one!

Oldie but goodie... might be new for some, so read up - it's most excellent :-)

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start
at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

/end of post/

Equality will set you free

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~Anaïs Nin

Can this be true?

Got this gem from my dad... it looks legit, but can anyone disprove a statement or two? Or is this all for real? If yes... it just fuels one of my earlier posts on today's technology overtaking the world at a breakneck speed. We are SO going to smack into that brick wall soon - and all the helmets and airbags in the world won't do a damn thing.

So here is the gem:

How old is grandpa?

Stay with this -- the answer is at the end. It will blow you away.

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events. The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The Grandfather replied, 'Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:

television
penicillin
polio shots
frozen foods
Xerox
contact lenses
Frisbees and
the pill

There were no:

credit cards
laser beams or
ball-point pens

Man had not invented:

pantyhose
air conditioners
dishwashers
clothes dryers - clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and
man hadn't yet walked on the moon

Your Grandmother and I got married first... And then lived together.

Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, 'Sir'.
And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, 'Sir.'

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.

We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.

Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.

And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk.

Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 & 10-cent stores called Stedmans where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.

Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel.

And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, . . . But who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:

'grass' was mowed,
'coke' was a cold drink,
'pot' was something your mother cooked in and
'rock music' was your grandmother's lullaby.

'Aids' were helpers in the Principal's office,
' chip' meant a piece of wood,
'hardware' was found in a hardware store and
'software' wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us 'old and confused' and say there is a generation gap... And how old do you think I am?

I bet you have this old man in mind...you are in for a shock!

Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.

Are you ready?

This man would be only 60 years old!

Brain dump before bedtime

Just throwing it all out there... why do hot showers cause the brain to fire off in a hundred directions all at once, and then you can't sleep because it won't switch off? Bastid thing!

This is not supposed to make sense, so don't look for any.

1) Stopped into a chic boutique clothing store on my way home, and the cute flirty owner said everything in the store was on sale for $20. I thought I heard wrong.

"Excuse me?"
"Yes, $20. Everything. I need to make room for the new spring collection."

You could have knocked me over with a feather.

"Even these fab $178 jeans?!"
"Yes."

I think Lady Luck was smiling at me, a kind of repentance for the shitty weather and my man being 3000 miles away. Hah! They had one pair left in my size and of course they fit so I snatched them up... I did exercise restraint though, resisted the shiny gorgeous purses cuz I don't need any, so walked out with the jeans and a sexy funky blouse of sorts. *pats self on back*

2) Why do delicious scented body creams cost so damn much? My ex had surprised me with a jar of Lancome Absolue Body Cream last year, and I'm still scared to use the damn thing: a small jar costs over $100 with taxes, wtf?

Well, screw that!

Buy a big container of nonscented house-brand body cream, pump some into a biggish jar, add a few drops of your favorite perfume, stir and enjoy. Hey I'm not cheap, I'm practical and ingenious. He he.

3) Diet has been crap this week. Have been craving cereal for dinner almost every night and can't be bothered to eat much, if any, fruit and veggies at all. Carbs and sugar, carbs and sugar in the form of chocolate. Must be the lack of sex that is getting to me. *goes to stand in corner, all sad*

4) I can't seem to stop procrastinating on the stupidest of things. For instance, I've only programmed 5 numbers into my new phone... which I got Sunday. Still have over 60 to plug in and mleh - tomorrow. Or next week. When I get around to it. Watch me need a number and not have it and then I'll kick some random lamp post in the street, break a toe and end up with a cast on my foot. Awesome!

5) Am spending my birthday alone with my mom and St-Valentine's alone with my dogs. What's wrong with this picture?

6) The plumber is coming over tomorrow morning to check the non-existant hot water pressure in my kitchen. I pray to got he doesn't have "the crack" going on. Eeewww.

Well this seems to have helped... I think.

*yawns*

G'nite, peeps.

Be better than bread...

The average man is a conformist, accepting miseries and disasters with the stoicism of a cow standing in the rain. ~Colin Wilson

Family Feud à la Blogstyle

1. Name something you use in the shower.
shampoo

2. Name something a football player wears under his uniform.
jock strap

3. Name something people hate to find on their windshield.
bird shit

4. Name something a man might buy before a date.
breath mints

5. What's another word for blemish?
a "spot"

6. Name something you cook in the microwave.
dinner

7. Name a piece of furniture people need help moving.
sofa

8 Name a reason a younger man might like an older woman.
sex skills

9. Name something a dog does that embarrasses its owner.
licks its balls

10. Name a kind of test you cannot study for.
blood test

11. Name something for which a boy scout gets a badge.
making knots

12. Name a phrase with the word "'Home'" in it.
Home is where the heart is

13. Name a sport where players lose teeth.
hockey - whomp!

14. Name something a teacher can do to ruin a student's day.
have that secret note read aloud in front of the class

15. What is a way you can tell someone has been crying?
red eyes

16. Name something found at a séance.
gullibility

17. Name a bird you wouldn't want to eat.
Big Birg

18. Name something that gets folded.
laundry

19. Name something a person wears even if it has a hole in it.
socks

20. Name something that gets smaller the more you use it.
soap

Survey Says! Wasn't this fun?
Yes, Natalie, it WAS!

Mean dog mommy says...

...they might sometimes be alot of work and the source of guilt and headaches, but they are worth it. Truly, they are awesome dogs and I couldn't ask for better furry companions. :-)

To balance out the bitching, here they are being clowns over a year ago (November 2006) - they have both grown and filled out alot since then. I'm way overdue for an updated video... as soon as it's not minus a million degrees and not snowing, I promise I will! So here is my "ode to the beanies":

I still can't believe he's dead

What a waste of a perfectly good life... wonder what the autopsy will say. No matter what, he will be mourned and missed for a damn long time. Why can't asses like Dubya (aka Bush) drop dead instead? Is there no justice in this world?

Life here is same old, same old... morning monologues during dog walking go something like this:

Me: Dakotah, no!
Me again: Hey! Let's GO! I don't have all day!
Impatient me: Leave it! Come on, let's go!
Pissed off me: I said MOVE you stupid dogs!
Exasperated me: No no no no! Heel!

Every morning the same story. I'd like to think their brains are bigger than a walnut but lordy, it takes faith!

/end of post/

Random stuffs cuz I was told to

Oooo fun little meme... 1218 Blog has graciously tagged me so here goes!

The rules for this particular meme:
-Link to the person who tagged you.
-Post the rules on your blog.
-Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
-Tag at least 3 people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.
-Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. My hair started going gray when I was 16... been coloring it for so long, I have no idea what my real hair color is/was/would have been like.

2. I once dated a Russian circus acrobat - most stupid two years of my life. Ugh.

3. Got married at age 21... to a German... thankfully divorced a few years later. I think I have a fatal attraction to foreigners, it just may be the death of me.

4. I have the same breakfast 6 to 7 days per week: peanut-butter toasts with orange juice and coffee. I have no idea why I'm not sick and tired of this yet.

5. I'm addicted to British humor, stuff like Modern Toss will send me into ridiculous fits of laughter... maybe because I grew up watching Benny Hill - who knows?

6. Can't go to bed without brushing my teeth first. Can't. Won't sleep!

Now, on to my tag list... trying to get new folks tagged so you regulars don't start throwing ripe tomatoes at my head:

Awake and Dreaming
Life in the Shoebox
Vrooooooom!

Have fun! I sure did :-)

RIP Heath Ledger

Dead at 28, of apparent suicide. I guess being young, healthy, handsome, talented, rich and famous does not always for a happy person make. Sigh. This world is fucked.

We grew up poor... or did we?

I was a very lucky child for the first decade of my life and kind of feel sorry for today's kids growing up in this consumer-driven world.

It was the '70's: toys were simple yet provided hours of endless fun (who remembers Light Bright? Legos? Etch-a-Sketch? Dominos? Card games? Spirograph?), TV was a treat for Saturday morning cartoons and my parents never needed to tell us to "go play outside" - it is where we wanted to be the most, no matter the season.

We were lucky to live in a tiny green village by the river. Dad built us a sandbox and a swing set from leftover lumber and rope. We had tonka trucks, bikes and fishing poles for summer, crazy carpets and snowball fights for winter, we built tree houses for all seasons and a good game of hide-and-seek was thrilling. We found wonderment and entertainment in picking wild berries that grew nearby or building "dams" in the ditches during spring thaw.

School was a 5-minute walk away and parents were not afraid to send their kids out to play: everyone knew everyone and crime only happened in big dirty cities far away. Nobody stole your bike or painted graffiti on garage doors.

Mom's job was to stay home and take care of the family. She made our clothes, baked fresh bread, made jams in the autumn and seeded our big garden in the spring. Dad was authority and no kid ever dared throw a tantrum in the supermarket. Ever. I remember those summer movie treats at the drive-in an hour away and the few times we ate at restaurants were like christmas.

Looking back now I realise we were poor. My parents drove an old beat-up rusty car and we never went to Disneyland. Raising three kids on a train repairman's salary was rough - but they did it with grace and dignity for as long as they could (divorce in 1979 shattered everything, but that is a story for another time).

What is poverty?

I loved our big old house and the surrounding chaos of the train tracks, the big rushing river and all that wilderness.

I had all the toys I could possibly want and remember colorful exciting christmases, birthdays, halloweens with home-made awesome costumes and easter egg hunts. I loved school and didn't even mind the stupid Sunday school so much.

We ate fresh produce from the garden and home-made healthy food, our clothes never had missing buttons, mom was always there for scraped knees with a kiss and a bandage... and oh, that time I got my first "real" bike.. shiny brand new pride and joy! Secure a playing card on the spokes with a clothespin and you have yourself a roaring cycle!

We didn't have computers, cellphones or metal detectors in our school. We learned to read and write using our brains, not cheat tools. How often do we send (and receive) hand-written letters nowadays? Mailboxes are for bills and flyers - there is no heart there anymore.

Parents did not negociate with children, they were leaders and mentors who were to be respected, not talked back to or kicked in the shins. My world was a big friendly place where neighbors watched out for one another and all pitched in during difficult times. Nobody thought to poison halloween candy and TV shows did not need to be censored.

I dunno, seems to me that things were so much easier back then. What are today's kids really getting "more of" that we didn't have 30 years ago? Are we bettering ourselves as a society or are technology and rabid consumerism ruining it for everyone?

Poll turnover

Last poll's question:
What are your favorite breakfast items?
You voted:

Cereal (hot or cold) 16%
Toast 15%
Eggs 13%
Juice 13%
Coffee 11%
Fruit 8%
I don't eat breakfast 8%
Pastries 7%
Leftover pizza 5%
Smoothies 3%

New poll is up... have fun!

From Japan, with love!

If real sex just isn't happening for you and you've no talent for air guitar... maybe "air sex" is what you need - who knows?

My man is like a good bra

Close to my heart and super supportive on droopy days like this. I meant sagging spirits - tsk! He lets me rant and spill my grief while trying to inject optimism in my dark days... sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. What matters is that he is there and I can tell him absolutely everything without reserves.

However... Mondays suck ass and today sucked two asses for some reason. I honestly won't be sad to hit the bed in a couple of hours and forget it ever happened.

Exercise proved to be good therapy (walk the poison off!) and for some reason the doggies were in playful spirits tonight, they kept egging me to play in the snow... thanks to my yeti suit I didn't feel the cold so a great time was had by all. Dogs rule!

PS: Vegas I love thee!

/end of post so don't click "read more"/ LOL!

Don't blink...

...your eyelashes might freeze together and then whatchoo gonna do? Yes, it was that cold this morning. The kids love it though - as long as they don't lick metal poles. He he.

Dr. Phil's test

(I scored 48, which is strange... I would have thought myself to be in the 31 to 40 category. Oh well - give it a try and let me know what you think!)

Below is Dr. Phil's test . (Dr. Phil scored 55; he did this test on Oprah - she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out!

Don 't be overly sensitive... The following is pretty accurate and it only takes two minutes. Answers are for who you are now - not who you were in the past. Grab a pencil and paper and keep track of your letter answers to each question.

1. When do you feel your best?

A) in the morning
B) during the afternoon and early evening
C) late at night

2. You usually walk...

A) fairly fast, with long steps
B) fairly fast, with little steps
C) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
D) less fast, head down
E) very slowly

3. When talking to people you:

A) stand with your arms folded
B) have your hands clasped
C) have one or both your hands on your hips
D) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
E) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with:

A) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
B) your legs crossed
C) your legs stretched out or straight
D) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...

A) big appreciated laugh
B) a laugh, but not a loud one
C) a quiet chuckle
D) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...

A) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
B) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
C) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working and concentrating hard and you're interrupted, you:

A) welcome the break
B) feel extremely irritated
C) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?

A) Red or orange
B) black
C) yellow or light blue
D) green
E) dark blue or purple
F) white
G) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are...

A) stretched out on your back
B) stretched out face down on your stomach
C) on your side, slightly curled
D) with your head on one arm
E) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are...

A) falling
B) fighting or struggling
C) searching for something or somebody
D) flying or floating
E) you usually have dreamless sleep
F) your dreams are always pleasant

POINTS:

1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c ) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

Now add up the total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS : Others see you as someone they should 'handle with care.' You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS : Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS : Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS : Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

Yes, please

"A curse on every wish that blurs the sight, paralyzes the tongue, cramps the hand, and prevents the truth being seen, said, and written." ~Theodor Haecker

Shiny toys rock!

It's a small thing but it makes me happy... picked up an LG Chocolate Spin (in dark blue) this afternoon and oh, I just love it... My old phone was just so passé with very limited text functions and the sound quality was deteriorating soooo.... I got me an early birthday present. :-)

Now I just need to buckle down, read the manual and figure out how stuff works, load it up with music and transfer all my contact into. What a bore. I don't need a maid, I need a geek to do all these things for me! OK preferably a hot geek with a nice ass, who loves to bake, iron and wash floors. Anybody?

Pfft. Good help is so hard to find these days!

I am sooo not ready for another long week of work... mleh. It's suckass cold so dog duty is difficult and unpleasant (except for this morning), my motivation for anything fun is in the crapper and why have I not won the damn lottery yet?

Dinner was a bowl of cereal and chocolate, how about that? *waves rolling pin at mocking spectators*

Kay, off to tame the phone, and no it's not coincidence that it's called a Chocolate Spin! he he!

Goygeous!

So what if it's effing cold out... the sun is shining, the sky is a raging neon blue, there is no wind and white snow everywhere just enhances the light effect, so were sunglasses or go blind!

Just got back from a ramble on the mountain with the kiddos, now they're snoring on the floor as I relax into "Sunday cooking mode" and shop online for a new cellphone... Gonna get that done this week, don't I deserve a little bday present to myself? I thought so :-)

Yum. Smells so good in here, says the Queen of Soup Broths - droool. Making a simple veggie soup for evening meals and a spicy sausage, spinach and rice casserole for work lunches. Round that out with lots of fruit and raw veggie snacks and health is taken care of - oh no worries, it's all balanced out with chocolate, moua ha ha ha!

In fact... I'm not one to wait so I may just hop down to the cellphone store and check things out. Life is short! Shiny new things are good! Special promo offer expires soon so get crackin'! Etc, etc.

Sigh. I miss my man terribly. Days like this should be shared and the next 5 long weeks just loom ahead like a dark cloud - will we survive? Will I go crazy? *mutter mutter*

Kay I need a change of place and a change of air before I get stoopid. Deeeep breath. Life is good. Life is awesome. Vegas is awesome. Vegas is my life.

I smile :-)

As the machine functions

Girls we love for what they are;

young men for what they promise to be.

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Deep n'delicious

My friend N calls me up tonight from the grocery store:

N: Please tell me not to buy this (McCain's Deep n'Delicious) cake!
Me: Er, why would I do that, crazy woman?
N: Cuz it's so bad, it's on sale and oooorrghhghgmmmmph!
Me: But the damn thing. Now. Buy two and keep one for later.
N: But but but -
Me: Doowit! Doooowit!
N: *giggle* hokay!

I am such a good friend :-)

There was a creepy creep out in the dark field tonight... took the dogs to a place near home cuz the usual, farther place is a siberian wind tunnel - there was nobody around and the dogs were minding their own business.

Then some guy ambled along the path intersecting the field, dressed for building an igloo, with a huge furry hood over his head (I never got to see a face) and just stood there in the middle of the field, not moving. Of course this kind of behavior attracts dogs to go inspect WTF is going on, right?

They had their hackles up, sniffed him as he stood stone still, then circled away... the little one barked a few times but she's a fraidy cat, never gets close cuz she's always ready to run away if the offending person goes "boo".

Well thank the lord bejeezus, because as I passed him I saw he had a facking jack knife in his gloved hand, which he put away in his pocket after I had rounded up the dogs and walked away!! Motherfucker!

I'm only realising now, as I write this, how ugly a situation that could have turned into if my dogs were a wee bit dumb or overprotective.

*goes to fetch an imaginary glass of whiskey*

Thank you, Pink Floyd

Their song "Time" is one of my very favorites... it brings me to tears so I don't play it very often.

*emotional*

However it describes exactly how I feel, right now, on this lonely Friday night as I head off to bed wondering "WTF?". Must be the impending birthday that is getting me all freaked out. Bleh.

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an off-hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then the one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but you're older
And shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desparation is the English way
The time is gone the song is over, thought I'd something more to say

La la la!

Is it time to go home yet? No? Dammit. I'll at least entertain myself with a hot-chocolate break and some of this... my faaavorite "pick me up cuz the world is full of eejits" video! "I hope you like pain!" he he

What are Fridays for?

Fridays are for contemplating all the possibilities the weekend ahead offers... such as sleeping in, lazy TV shows, catching up with friends and mmm perhaps cooking up a batch of yummy winter stew for the week...

It's supposed to drop to siberian freezing temps so no bathing the dogs - yyaaayy! I just got myself out of that chore LOL! Awesome.

Vegas has "the man cold" which, according to folklore, is the equivalent of being pregnant with triplets whilst suffering both tuberculosis and ebola trapped in a bubble of sewage water. Sometimes I'm quite happy being on the other side of the Atlantic... *whistles and looks away*

Kidding. I wish I were there to nurse him back to health. Sigh. Hate feeling so helpless while my loved one suffers.

Some good news though: my ex is in love! w00t! Am so happy we can share these moments of triumph and still remain good friends after all we've been through, would have been a shame to throw those 5 years away - we didn't split up because of a hurtful event, betrayal or anger and I think that is what makes the difference... we both wanted out because our life goals were so different.

Now he's back in Australia, has met a wonderful woman and his future looks very bright with her in the picture; I can only wish them the best of luck. Everyone deserves Love - and it's OK to hold out until the right one comes along.

Lord knows I couldn't be a happier woman in that regard... Vegas is everything I could have ever dreamt for (except when under the influence of evil Night Nurse) and we are working for a brilliant life together - it's already here despite bitching and moaning about the long weeks between visits. It just makes the sex all that hotter when we do meet up - he he!

Am starting car shopping... has anyone heard of lower car prices for Canadians, cuz of our strong dollar? Is this real or just a myth?

In search of truths

"He who is allowed to do as he likes will soon run his head into a brick wall out of sheer frustration." ~Robert Musil, The Man without Qualities, 1930

Not enough hours in the day

I missed my blogland today - busy at work and not equipped to multitask... Ooops me!

American Idol is on again, despite the "same old, same old" I am hooked. You think you've seen it all until another season crops up and oh, the laughs begin again... Remember "The Gong Show" from the late '70's? Yeah. That, only shinier and louder.

Going on 9pm now and I haven't eaten dinner yet - sigh. I definitely spend too much time online and can't shake the addiction. *runs around flailing arms*

Sorry for the super mega boring post, too tired can't brain straight.

The plants need watering, the hair needs washing, the dogs need petting and the man needs a kick in the arse for being moody tonight on chat - he really brought my happiness down to shrapnel and I'm upset. Sure we all have bad moments but jeez, don't log on then and just go to sleep.

I sign off tonight sad and deflated.

Where did the child go?

I don't remember this photo being taken, I've never seen it until a few days ago. I don't know how old I was, where we were, what I'm holding - I only remember being extremely shy and hated having my photo taken, which is probably why very few photos of the kid-me exist.

So there I am, over 3 decades ago - what happened?! How did I get so old, so fast, and yet I still don't know who I am? *panics*

*goes to sit down and breathe*

Sometimes it hits me how little time we have on this earth, and how unfair it is... I want to cry. Every day is precious and right now I am pissing them away pining for Vegas, pining for our life together to finally begin.

Sure I'm alive and living as best I can, working and being social and trying to better myself - but it's still a big pause, a wait and a test of faith.

I need to go visit my aging grandparents in their nursing homes before they pass away. I haven't seen my parents in months, yet they are only a 3-hour drive away. I have friends who live in the same city which I haven't seen in months. WTF am I doing with my life? What is WRONG with me?

Better spirits

I think I'm starting a cold (sore throat, headache, you know the drill) but am feeling lighter today and not considering getting rid of the dogs anymore. They better chill out and get with the program though, I won't get evicted because of the melon head's melancholic howls - nosiree!

Discipline... I need more discipline. Amazing how much time I can spend online chatting, blogging and surfing when I should be doing "real things" with my life - like watering my dying plants, paying more attention to the dogs (oh they stink and need a bath... rats), organizing my iTunes library so I don't hate it so much, dusting the dirty furniture, the list goes on forevah.

Can one re-procrastinate? La la laaaa...

On my walk to work this morning I got followed by a squeege who must have thought I gave a shit. If they bother waking up that early to spend energy begging money off pedestrians trying to get to work on time, surely they could GET A FUCKING JOB and leave us the hell alone?

Gawd! I hate these losers! Young pierced kids who scream arnarchy yet conform to the streetrat culture so they can harass the working stiff in droves. Fuck off, already. Half my paycheck goes to taxes to support programs for voluntary homeless asses like yourself.

I guess I should get back to work now, eh? :-D

Novel-ty meme

Fallen Angel has tagged me for a most wonderful meme of sorts...

1. get the nearest book
2. open it to page 123
3. find the fifth sentence
4. post on the blog the following 4 sentences
5. do not search on the bookshelf for a book that would make you look smart :)
6. pass this on to 6 other friends

At the moment I am devouring "The Game" by Neil Strauss (every woman should read this, IMO... to spot and deflect manipulating Pick Up Artists, among other things). Following the meme rules we get:

People were curious to meet Mystery's new wing - or, in Ross's case, to own him. I stared at the thin black headset coiling around his face like a spider. "Something like that," I said. That was not enough for him. "Who is your guru?" he asked.

(I cheated a bit and added 5 sentences cuz it didn't make much sense...) Strange that page 123 doesn't reflect what the book is about. I'll bet the PUAs of the world are glad about that, hehe. Not that they are reading my blog or anything. Oh well.

I don't really like tagging any specific peeps so if you're interested in replicating this little experiment on your blog... be my guest and let me know so I can read what you came up with!

Everything will be all right

Deep breath.
I can and will do this.
Life will slowly get better.
Winter only lasts 3 more months.
The dogs will adapt to long working days.
I derive strength from loving Vegas.
More sleep will feed me energy.
Blogging keeps me sane.
Deep breath.

Of stones and marshmallows

"Have the courage to face a difficulty

lest it kick you harder than you bargained for."

~Stanislaus I, Maxims

Stop! Licking! My! Panties!

Ghah!

My dog has issues. Seriously.

Every day I come home from work to find my panties in the middle of the bedroom, in a damp little bundle - when I know exactly where I had put them the night before (in a clothes pile on the floor in the corner - no space for a hamper so yeah, this *could* be my fault) - but still! It's disgusting! Since when did I ask him to be my dry cleaner?!

This has no relation to Dog Boy, in case any of you twisted minds wonder. It's either an akita thing, a male dog thing, or a bored dog thing... ghah! Do any of your dogs do icky things like this?

I'm still bloated today, and migrainy on top of that. Thank god it's sunny, it helps me identify which color of pills I need to chew today... la la la!

Gonna be fun to be stoned with all the big bosses in town today - thank you Mr Murphy, thank you. Always there for me!

Open your eyes

"The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows."

~Sydney J. Harris

Can humans die from bloat?!

I swear to god I am about to burst. It hurts to breath and my back aches from my überstretched belly - I am bloating! Help!

All I had was a bowl of homemade veggie soup (which I had last night without any problems) and a piece of maple cake and not a minute after eating - BAM! Inflated like a party balloon. My lungs are compressed so it's hard to breathe, this shit ain't funny man. Ow ow owww :-(

On the other hand my doggies have been a great mood-booster tonight... I think they needed a couple days rest to get their happy selves back and we all had fun in the blowing snowy field tonight. Yep. Exercise and doggy therapy can kick PMS's ass - hope the bitch stays away. Hiss.

On a more serious topic...

I was a bit mean to Vegas today... didn't mince my words over a thought I had and he didn't deserve that - I feel bad. Sigh. Why is it that you always hurt the ones you love? And yet it's easier to bite back words for an offending stranger? It's so screwy, it does my head in sometimes.

Bleh. Karma came back to bite me in the ass via bloat. Ow ow owww.

Blogs are therapy, right?

It's ok to rant and lament here without coming off as a limp rag, right? My garden, my place to kick rocks and squash weeds... sigh.

I'm on full PMS, the weather is shit (cold and blowing snow), I slept very badly last night and am now suffering through another major headache, my dogs are depressed cuz they blame me for their boring life and that makes me feel guilty, I feel fat, I'm back at work so feel trapped, and the love of my life is on the other side of the ocean and I won't see him again for weeks and weeks.

It sucks donkey ass.

Sometimes I wonder about the sanity of it all, this long-distance relationship thing. I knew what I was getting into and figured "bah, I'll blow up that bridge when I get there" - live for the moment and que sera sera!

Only now that bridge is here, I'm standing on it with no dynamite in sight, only long lonely weeks stretching ahead of me mocking me with their bleakness. Shovel snow! Pick up dog poop! Get drunk by your lonesome! Wash dishes and shovel more snow, pick up more dog poop and that is your life!

Did I sign up for this? Was there fine print I forgot to read? Fuck. If anyone has therapy to recommend beyond the bubble bath (I would need to clean the bath first) and glass o'wine, please let me know! *cries*

And there you have it...

"War does not determine who is right - only who is left."

~Bertrand Russell

Been tagged, here you go

Courtesy of The Clumsy Chatterbox who tagged me for a fun little meme, here are seven random facts about me and, well, you know the drill...

1- I make kickass soup. I really do. Gimme bones, water and assorted veggies and spices and voilà.

2- However I will not, ever, eat cold soup. WTF is cold soup all about anyways?!

3- I was fucking ugly as a tween. Braces, freckles, stupid hair, gangly, the works. At some point during my twenties, I got "with it". I don't break mirrors anymore.
4- I'm double-jointed. Used to be cool until I read up on all the sub-conditions it can cause - wow. Now I know why it sucks to be me sometimes.

5- I can't swallow pills, so when I need to take drugs it's for a damn good reason - do you know how awful chemicals taste when you have to chew? *gag*

6- I love long hot showers with lots of fruity yummy body washes. Bliss.

7- When I was seven years old, they made me play the ugly, green-faced wart witch in Hansel and Gretel. I was mortified and embarassed and pissed as hell. Why couldn't I play the blonde beautiful Gretel? I learned revenge then... I tricked, cooked and ate the bitch in the end. Moaahaha!

I'd love to tag you all but don't want to get hit on the head - who wants to volunteer, though? C'mon, raise your haaaands!

Survey says!

Last poll question: You would say you are... (click all that apply)

You voted:

In a serious relationship 26%
Happily married 24%
Looking for love, still no luck 15%
Happily single 12%
Status-free! 9%
Divorced 6%
Unhappily married 3%
Engaged 3%
In a casual relationship 3%
Widowed 0%

Looks like most of you are happy with love, one way or another... dat's good news! New poll is up, go cast your votes rah! rah! rah!

Screaming sardines in the sky

Did I ever mention how much I fucking hate flying in those cramped tin cans full of coughing, snotty screaming kids? No? Well, now you know.

(My view from the Heathrow lounge)

The flight over 7 hours long and I felt every damn minute... watched "Atonement" and cried 3 times, add that to the tears spilt after kissing Vegas goodbye and then another round of tears while waiting over an hour for my luggage, and you have one very flat, dejected and PMSsy girl. Bad combo.

Luckily my friend managed to get my car and come pick me up at the airport, paitently waiting for over an hour for me to be burped through the congested crowd - have never seen my airport so full before, wtf? It's not a holiday or anything!

Got home, and she convinced me I needed to get out of the empty appartment and into a diner for comfort food - and she was right. Mmmm smoked meat and fries: yeah!!

I crashed late but at least I slept... it's a cold sunny morning, the suitcases have been emptied and my belly been filled with breakfast, need to go pick up the kids now and get life back to its routine. I figure if I keep myself busy today I won't break down too much pining for Vegas. I hope I figure right.

Love is a bitch but you hug her anyways.

Time to go. Dammit.

The reclusive sun is out, my bags are packed and we leave for Heathrow in two hours...

Bye-bye beautiful Brighton.

I just pray that the return home in the dark cold slush won't break me too much - it is PMS time and oh did I mention my sad pining heart? Crap!

I think I'll just throw myself into work, blogging, getting fit again, tanning to ward of the seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and enjoying my friends and doggies as much as I can - what else is there? Not gonna let my time away from Vegas get the better of me... after all it's only a few miles and a few weeks apart, right?

Nothing to it! Right? Right. See you on the other side of the Atlantic.

(end of post)

Contemplation

Photo copyright Technodoll, 2008

"Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair." ~Kahlil Gibran

Last vacation day... sigh

I'm not sure how time managed to fly by so fast but meh... last evening here with Vegas and I'm feeling pretty blue. Next time we'll see each other will probably be mid-Feb, not such a huge stretch if you look at the big picture - but who's looking at that? *mega sigh*

Am happy to have met all his friends, to have experienced the famous shite bipolar weather, tasted cornish pasties and good wine and Vegas' awesome spicy pork, lime and coriander patties, to have admired the starlings on the pier and breathed in the cold damp salty sea air and toasted shotglasses of tuaca...

But best of all, I am grateful to have spent almost two weeks with the love of my life, snuggling and laughing and watching movies eating amazing chocolate and just feeling alive.

That was the logical and nice me.

The illogical and bitchy kid me says waaaah! I fucking don't want to go home, back to snow and cold and work and dog-care routine! I like being lazy and getting up late and smelling my sweet man whenever the hell I feel like it! *stomps foot*

Deep breath. And another one.

\end of rant\

Hope the long flight home doesn't infect me with any bugs and that my luggage makes it across the ocean, hope nobody broke into my place while I was gone and that my doggies are ok and my plants not all dried up and dead. The rest will be dealt with one thing at a time.

One day at a time.

Reverse meme

Instead of you asking me questions... Pick one (or more) of the below and the answer stage is all yours, through the comment box of course.

Hey if they drive on the wrong side of the road here, I can come up with backwards blog things! LOL

1- Describe your worst culinary disaster.
2- What was your favorite childhood toy or game?
3- Your best date ever... what was it like?
4- What makes you cry? (onions don't count!)
5- If you could relive one day of your life, which would it be and why?

Thanks for playing! Now I tag anyone who answers :-)

Rinse and spit

"The trouble with talking too fast

is you may say something you haven't thought of yet."

~Ann Landers

Fab peeps and the ticking clock

Last night was dinner at a japanese resto with two of Vegas' close friends, the food was yummay but the company was the highlight of the evening. They are all so amazing...

I feel pretty bad that he will have to leave all of this (and all of them) when he moves to Canada this autumn - I have to keep telling myself that it's his choice and he will be fine, he'll be back for visits and it's all OK. Just hard to extricate myself from the situation that was my last relationship, that's all...

Night and day. It's that different and I need to keep remembering that. *goes to hug her man*

Today should be relaxed (read: lazy), don't really feel like doing much really. Vegas teaches his taiji class tonight, we'll drop in to visit some friends of his this afternoon and get some more shopping done - tuaaacaaaa! - and just putter around. I fly back home after tomorrow and then it's back to the shitty routine of work and dog care *bleh* so yeah... I am indulging.

I think tonight merits a couple bottles of red wine and debauchery!

All shopped out

Whew. It's fun to shop for stuff to bring back home to spoil the peeps, but after a while it's one big blur and I can't be bothered... I'm just gonna stuff my suitcase with chocolate goodies and hope for the best.

Dunno why I'm so tired... feel like I need a vacation to recuperate from this vacation.

Sigh.

Am not sleeping much, my body's aching from non-exercise (my normal daily routine makes me move alot cuz of the dogs and such) and my brain's been stretched alot lately from intense talks with Vegas well into the middle of the night, when defenses are down and the closet doors unlatch by themselves.

I guess growth does involve some level of mental stretching and leaves you drained before your energy can replete itself. It's comparable to cake being tastier than tofu, so much easier to eat but then it's empty calories and you gain nothing but a fat ass, eh?

Gotta work for the hard stuff... the rewards are pretty awesome though. No more stagnation - this is it, life is *now* and it's grabbing me by the throat in a passionate love bite. Meow!

Want more?

For those of you who are enjoying the UK pics, here are some more from my lens! Or rather, how TD sees the world... twisted perspective and all, LOL!

Brighton pier

My god!! The psychotic English weather was something to behold yesterday, LOL!

Sun, then whoosh! Shitty cold rain! Then sun again, hah! Just teasing, more rain... then winds to make Mary Poppins orgasm but at least the clouds couldn't compete and we had the Brighton pier to ourselves, shared with a cloud of starlings, seagulls and the salty sea air. Just gorgeous.

Ourselves = me, Vegas, his friend L and her new man from Oregon. Pics below taken after our crappy Italian lunch (first bad food I've had so far) but we had a ball anyways. w00t!

(click on the pics for bigger images)

Chillaxing, taiji and other stuff

Quick recap...

We cancelled London as this crazy vomiting bug is getting rampant all over the UK and if you can avoid crowds (ie trains and such) then you lower your chances of getting ill... crappy but oh well, it's just a raincheck, I'll be back!

So today is lazy... slept late, slow breakfast, then drove over to Devil's Dyke for a walk & almost got blown away by the fierce winds - too hazy for pics so that's all you get, LOL! Shopped a bit, took pics of Vegas training as he needs to update his website and despite the late afternoon light, some pics weren't too shoddy:


Tonight it's wine, cooking a fab dinner and chillaxing... we'll catch up with friends and shopping tomorrow. Am really savouring this time off from "real life" and dread going back home, to be honest. Bleh.

I guess I should post pics of our amazing afternoon on the Brighton pier yesterday - am having a blast meeting Vegas' awesome friends, normally I'm quite shy but I've felt right at home since day 1 so everything is taken in stride. I guess Brighton has lots of strange birds so I fit in pretty well, hehe!

The Bubblegum Makeover

Since the Diaries are a year old now, it needed a rehaul to reflect 2008 and the new "me"... So please be patient while the work is in progress!

Credit goes to Vegas for making sure the basics all worked (mouah! mouah!), sometimes Blogger goes psycho so that was a bit of a headache. Gaah! But now we can have some fun so please stay tuned for more fabulous Brighton pics tomorrow (took a whackload of excellent ones today) and stories from the heart of awesomeness that is south-east UK.

Just wish this week would last forever. Sigh.

Charms of Brighton

Ah. How I love this place... am feeling more and more like myself again and thank the lord I got out of Montreal when I did - was on the verge of a burnout and too tired to even acknowledge it. And to think I even had a panic attack the day before flying over - wow. What the hell was I afraid of? Vegas is my life and soul... I should have known better. *blush*

Yesterday we had lunch in a cozy pub with a couple of his friends (who are adorable btw) and then walked through the laines and down to the beach, cloudy wet weather and all - funny how we wake up to sun and then need umbrellas. Hrmph.

Evenings are spent chatting, playing yahtzee (fuck I'm not lucky with dice) and drinking wine, and every hour that goes by I am amazed by Vegas... I had to learn to let go and just embrace this love in its perfection and to stop doubting that it can be this easy. This isn't a passing thing, this is for life.

*deep breath*

Erm, so, well! I've tried to capture some of the Brighton charms, hope you enjoy. More pics to follow soon :-) PS: click on any photo to get a bigger view!