To all of you...

A very merry and Happy New Year!

Celebrate life, celebrate the here and the now,

Celebrate the future.

You are alive!

Vitamin S for Sunshine

I feel better today after a good night's sleep-

Still fighting a cold but I think I'm winning!

Thank you all for your kind words and support yesterday,

It helps to kick the blue funk in the cojones!

When all the bits just never add up to a whole

I woke up with a throat full of razor blades this morning, after a mostly sleepless night.

The dreaded cold - I thought I had escaped it but I guess the flu bugs kissed everybody on Christmas day. My system's fighting it with everything it's got, which has left me in a blue funk today. I'm angry at myself for being such a failure at stuff and mad at the world for the cold snow and computer problems.

Silly shit like that.

I admire and envy people who have their act together.

The ones who are actually good, very good at things - be it one thing or many, they've just got "it", that X factor. They know what they're good at and work to get better at it and just shine.

Me? I'm not good at anything and just manage to scrape by collecting splinters under my fingernails.

Things I feel I stink at?

Being a good friend who remembers birthdays, sends Christmas cards, stays in touch and makes an effort to meet for outings once in a while.

Being a good cook - I can make some OK things but our menus are stuck in a rut, I've never been able to make bread from scratch or cook a slab of meat in the oven and my pie crusts suck ass, no matter how many times I try.

I'm surrounded by lawns that I mow crookedly, gardens that only grow weeds under my brown thumbs, the floors in the house are filthy and I've only painted one room in the year and a half we've been here. The walls and windows are still bare and I can't seem to care enough to do anything about it. Our mattresses are still on the floor because we haven't gotten a bed yet.

We live in a dorm.

Besides all the chickens I've lost so far to illnesses and injuries, I still have two dying boys on my hands and everyday that I hold them and kiss them I am filled with despair, there is nothing I can do to save them. Watching them get weaker with each passing day just breaks my heart and I'm too spineless to put an end to their suffering. I hate myself for being so weak.

How do people with cancer ever cope?

I love photography yet trying to know how my cameras work is like sitting in a chemistry class conducted in Chinese. Ditto for photo editing software. I feel stuck and stupid.

Today I picked up my paint brushes for the first time in a decade and discovered that I can't even create abstract art that doesn't suck. I erased the canvas twice and felt like chucking the whole thing in the trash. My easel stands in a corner of the dining room, mocking me with its spindly legs - loser! loser! it sings.

I have a zit on my chin, a big soft belly and my hair is frizzy.

Is this what depression feels like?

I think I'll knock myself out with cold medicine tonight because frankly, this sucks. This isn't me. I am not a victim nor a quitter. I'll kick this thing in the teeth, whatever it is. I want my inner sun to shine again, I need to feel like I'm worth something besides poop shoveler and dog walker.

Stupid S.A.D.

/end of Darkness Falls post/

Look who came to visit today!!

Yayyyy it's Dante! :-D

His sweet mom brought him over for a long-overdue visit

(she adopted him from us six months ago) - 

it took a few minutes for him to get his bearings

but after that OMG the dogs had a BLAST!

It was bitterly cold today 

but the sunshine made for great pics :)

Look at those happy smiling faces!!

You should click on the below pic to see it bigger

cuz the string of drool flying from Maika's mouth is a hoot - LOL!

Dakotah hugging Dante's new mom :)

Dakotah reminded Dante where his place was in the pack

but after a minute or two all was copacetic.

Dante really let loose this afternoon

and became a crazy puppy again according to his mom!

See what I mean?

The old pack, with everyone in his place...

Notice the boss, the queen and the baby? LOL!

It did a world of good for these three to connect again,

now the parents all get a very quiet evening - ha ha!

The finger that promises a cookie if they pose for a photo...

...so this is what Dante came up with.

Some things never change! LOL

We are truly grateful to Dante's new family for loving him so much, 

they have become good friends who enrich our life like a warm sunshine!

We can't wait to see you guys again!

XXX

Just because it's really, really funny

Let's pretend it isn't real though, cuz that's a downer:

I'd hate to be this dude's hangover! :-o

On grammas

A garden of Love grows in a Grandmother's heart.  

~Author Unknown

Are you ready? It's almost tiiiiiiiime!!

Yes yes, Christmas is almost here! 

Can you feel it? 

Woooo!

OK, today I made...

My stepmom's fruity butter shortbread cookies,

and they are DA BOMB!

Special holiday amaretto krispie balls:

Some weird "bonbons de noël" recipe I found in my mom's old cookbook,

I messed up and they are waaaay too sweet...

Um :-/

Quiche!

Farm fresh eggs, bacon, corn, spinach, green onions and cheese

with a hint of smoked chipotle peppers:

At my two brothers' request,

(they ask every year lol)

here are my mint rocky road squares:

And although these little meatballs look pretty gross in the photo,

they are very tender and tasty -

smothered in a roasted red pepper bbq sauce, mmm!

So. Presents are all wrapped and snuggled under the tree and I've done all my xmas baking bar one dish (smoked salmon pasta salad), which needs to be made fresh on the 25th just before leaving for my bro's place - we're having our family potluck buffet with gift exchange, it's always great fun :)

Everyone's contributing lots of yummy food and peripherals for the buffet table so I may have to wear pants with an elastic waist. And no chest-constricting bra. OK fine, everyone in jammies! Yey!

The day started out rough though...

Sigh. Yet more snow.

Enough for Vegas to haul out Big Bertha in order to get the car on the road -

see him waaaay over there near the stables?

(click if you're near-sighted, lol)

So in order to combat eye fatigue due to intense white 

and gloomy greys,

and because he's just the Best Husband Evar,

he brought me home this gorgeous (and huge!) Christmas bouquet -

I am so! spoiled!!

I may have to marry him all over again :-D

Tomorrow night, the 24th, is reserved for Vegas and I (and the doggies, of course) - not sure what we're having for dinner but afterwards will be cheesy xmas elevator muzak, santa hats on our heads and the ripping open of presents and stockings, yay!

This is my last post until boxing day, so from the bottom of my heart I wish you all a very merry Christmas (whether you celebrate it or not!), may joy, love, happiness and peace wrap you all in a warm embrace of health and wealth - the soul kind.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

/end of Festivus Oven post/

As the snow gently falls...

...I wonder how many times we can shovel this winter without going mad?

Best not to think about it.

Today is for some last gift wrapping and some xmas baking (rolled shortbread cookies). I'm also making a butternut squash soup for dinner since I picked up a freshly baked baguette at the baker's this morning - along with the most calorific almond croissants I have ever eaten in my life (I feel sick and buttery after one, lol).

I hope yesterday's trail riding burned enough calories in advance or I won't fit in my pants tomorrow.

Seriously.

Who uses that much butter in a pastry?!

And yes, you read right: yesterday I got to cross an item off my "wish to do before I die" list: to ride my own horse on trails behind my own house!! It was amazing and I can't wait to go again, weather willing. My friend and I only rode for 35 minutes as the snow was quite deep in places, it tires the horses out quickly and we wanted to test Jack first and not push him too much - he's old and we don't know his fitness level yet.

He loved it as much as we did and is totally fine, wooo!

Next ride we can go for an hour - yey!

Right, time to head out to the barn to build the girls a couple of extra nesting boxes, along with a bajillion things I need to do. I'm absolutely buzzing on sugar and caffeine right now so I'll put it to good use!

Holiday cheer right back at ya!

/end of Waaaaaaaagaggaga! post/

Quoted!

Santa is very jolly because he knows 

where all the bad girls live.  

~Dennis Miller

Happy Jack

I had to exercise Jack a bit yesterday, all he does is eat, sleep and hang out doing nothing! However I don't think he was lunged much in his life, if at all, as he doesn't seem to know what to do or to like it...

So I decided to just walk him around the property for a bit, and wouldn't you know it - he walks better on a leash than my dogs do! LOL! Before the walkies we had a chat, I told him I had some treats in my pocket - he quite liked that :)

Nom nom carrots!

"Mom. Come on. 

We both know what you've got there. Gimme!"

Teeeethies!

Jack: part horse, part llama:

He really is tiny, more like a big pony than a real horse...

I loves him :)

And that concludes the horsing around for today.

Cheers!

More on war

The death of one man is a tragedy.  

The death of millions is a statistic.  

~Joe Stalin, comment to Churchill at Potsdam, 1945

Tick tock and whew! sock!

Well, Christmas stocking cuz Christmas sock doesn't sound so glamorous.

I'm almost done with holiday shopping, just a few more knick-knacks to get and then I'm frreeeeeeeeeeee until next year! Just need to wrap the gifts tonight and finish up Vegas' huge sock - most gifts are for him, go figure :-D

The doggies got something but they don't know it yet.

We're both all set for our family gift exchange on Dec 25th, that should be fun.

The next few days will be for grocery shopping, baking and prepping for the xmas buffet (we do a pot luck as a family, it's so lovely) - those are fun things though, I'm almost feeling ungrinchy at this point.

Almost.

I've still not had any news about Big Daddy (figures...) and Jack is doing wonderfully, it's like he's always been here. I tried to get him to lunge for exercise but he really doesn't know what it is (strange, at his age...) so I just walk him around the property on a leash, like a giant dog.

He heels better than our dogs, by the way.

It's hilarious.

I carved a raw turkey yesterday, gave half to the dogs and kept the other half for our dinner tonight - crockpot yummies! I kept the legs with bone and the breast meat to simmer in canned tomatoes with spices, fresh coriander and lots of garlic, it sure smells nice. Will serve with a potato-and-carrot mash.

Time to go bake some cookies and feed the critters - good night you bunnies, you!

/end of House Mama post/

To be twenty again!

The technofarm in white & other shenanigans

I quite like the changing scenery in our driveway, you never know what you're gonna wake up to (cuz those eejits "predicting" the weather share one drunk brain cell between them) - it was supposed to snow all day, LOL! But no, we got this instead:

More blue skies!

YESSS!|

I'm not sure why Blogger likes to blur up pics when you upload,

if you click to see a bigger photo

it's all very clear

(this is part of our back yard):

It's unusual to have no wind, not even a breeze, for hours on end - 

what you get is utter prettiness,

everything dipped in icing sugar:

Pretty, pretty art...

Days like these I almost LIKE winter! ;-)

Jack and Black hanging out at the shelter,

day time is snack time all day long!

Now let's go inside for a bit, it's colder than a witch's tit out there. I didn't make up that expression so don't get your knickers in a knot! I personally don't know any witches so I can't vouch for their boob temperature, either. Um. Anyways.

My husband is weird.

This is what he's currently reading late at night, before bedtime. 

I kid you not.

Wanna see our Christmas tree? Well OK, no, it only looks good lit up at night in the dark and the pics I tried to take still made it look like a welfare tree, which it isn't, so here are a few baubles instead. My mom made me three lovely hand-sewn ornaments a few years back, kind of  a family tradition, and I absolutely love them. There are two hearts and a star - how pretty is this?

What is a tree sans disco balls? ;-)

Vegas and I give each other a tree ornament every year (I know: awe!), a couple years ago I got this awesome little guy and a matching penguin (Prin, don't be green! LOL), they have little bells in them too!

I like to put out a few cheerful smiling faces here and there, 

they light up at night - too cute!

I apologize if this blog post isn't very smart or entertaining, I've been trying to write it all freaking evening but keep getting distracted, like right now Vegas is watching such a moronic yet crazy movie that it makes concentration almost impossible because I keep watching it and groaning (Scott Pilgrim something).

And I want chocolate.

So, well, g'bye and have a great weekend, everyone!

/end of Hey Were You There In My Dinner Tomorrow? post/

Everything hurts

My back. My neck. My asscheeks.

My heart.

I blogged about the heart bit here if you want to know.

The rest is attributable to the dogs,

well not Maika, she actually behaved today.

It's meathead that gave me the finger this afternoon!

 

This! Dang! Dog!

I took them both for a romp in the snowy woods,

and Dakotah decided to take himself on a long walk

while I was struggling behind in knee-high snow-

only he didn't come back when I called,

and called,

and called,

and called.

I had to follow his tracks in the snow,

Maika keeping me company,

for 30 minutes while calling non-stop!

He had wandered off to some new residential area,

what the eff?!

I could have strangled the little turd when he finally came back

only I was soooo tired

and sore

and we had a long trek back to the car.

Did I mention the knee-high snow?!

No dessert for him tonight!

In other news,

I'm off for a hot bubble bath now -

yes, before dinner

which will be cheese on toast

and a rum-and-coke.

Blame the dog!

On women

To tell a woman everything she may not do

is to tell her what she can do. 

~Spanish Proverb

Snow Diary

 (Every year I love reading this skit - I don't know who wrote it but I'm pretty sure millions of us thank him/her for expressing our feelings so well! Enjoy!)

DECEMBER 4 - 5:00 It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our hot buttered rum and sat by the window watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful.

DECEMBER 9 - We woke to a big beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later, the snowplow came along and covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street, the driver smiled and I waved back. I shoveled it again.

DECEMBER 13 - The sun melted most of our snow. Oh well, I’m sure we’ll get more before this lovely winter is through.

DECEMBER 14 - It snowed 8 inches last night and the temperature dropped to about zero. I shoveled the sidewalk and driveway again. Shortly, the snowplow came by and did his trick again.

DECEMBER 15 - Sold our car and bought a 4 x 4 Blazer, so we could get around in the snow. Bought snow tires for the pickup.

DECEMBER 18 - Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway. $139.00 to the Chiropractor, but nothing was broken, thank God. The damned sky is getting dark again.

DECEMBER 19 - Still cold, icy roads, making driving very tough. Slid into a guard rail with my wife’s car. Probably $2,000 damage or so. She’s really pissed off.

December 20 - Had another 11 inches of the white shit last night. More shoveling in store for me today. The goddamn snowplow came by twice.

DECEMBER 22 - We are assured of a white Christmas, because another 7 inches of that white shit fell today and with this freezing weather, it won’t melt until August. I got dressed up to go out and shovel that shit again (boots, jumpsuuit, jacket, scarf, earmuffs, gloves, etc.) then I got the urge to pee.

DECEMBER 24 - If I ever catch that son of a bitch that drives the snowplow, I’ll drag him through the snow by his balls. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling, and then comes down the street 100 miles and hour and throws that white shit everywhere.

DECEMBER 25 - MERRY CHRISTMAS!! They predict 12 more inches of this fucking white shit tonight. Does anyone know how many goddamn shovelfuls of snow 12 inches are?? The hell with Santa, he doesn’t have to shovel this crap! The snowplow came by asking for a donation. I hit him with my ice pick. The doctors think he’ll live.

DECEMBER 28 - We got 11 more inches. I must be going snow blind or have a severe case of depression, becasue my wife is beginning to look good to me.

DECEMBER 29 - The toilet froze and the roof is starting to cave in. If you go outside don’t eat the brown snow.

DECEMBER 30 - I torched the fucking house and moved to Florida!

More of the same... but...

...do you see the difference?

Blue sky! Sunshine! OMG!

And nevermind that the driveway is buried under sparkling snow!

I had to hurry and snap some pics before the clouds took over again.

Which they did 30 minutes later.

Poop.

Basking in the sunlight, you say?

It's not just for cats :)

Mind you, akitas are really just giant cats in a dog's body.

Meow.

The sunshine only lasted a few minutes but it really does the soul good. In other news my back is on the mend, the barn was nice and warm this morning (albeit very humid), nothing was frozen and everyone had water. A huge relief! As long as we keep the fan off everything seems ok. I also insulated the barn attic trap door yesterday, among other things, that seems to help.

I managed to punch myself in the eye this morning, it's been over two hours now and it still hurts like a bitch, vision is blurred - sigh.

I was trying to shift a heavy bag of food in a plastic bin, bent over, when my glove slipped from the bag and the momentum whacked my clenched hand straight in my left eye.

For a moment I thought I was going blind! Lots of leakage, plenty of cursing, now I look like an abused wife.

OK not really, it's just a bit red but the swelling has gone down.

Yay me!

Wishing you all a swell day, whether you're basking in rain, snow or sun (you lucky Floridians, you) - don't forget to hug your loved ones today, the world does need more love, yes.

/end of Vitamin Sunshine post/

Our life under grey skies

One can find beauty in monochromatic hues, 

if one takes the time to stop and smell the snowflakes...

This is the most sun we've gotten all month, so far:

Our neighbor's house across the street

(this used to be the farm house for the surrounding land,

the barns on our property were part of the estate

before lot separations):

What? It was bleddy cold a few days ago!

It's raining now so we're wading through a mess of slush...

I definitely prefer the snow,

at least it doesn't soak through your clothes

when you walk the (now soaking) dogs!

Maika, for some reason,

loves to burrow her head deep in the snow -

sometimes she stays there for minutes,

I wonder how she breathes!

Silly bitch :-)

"Does this snow on my face 

make me look fat?"

"No? OK then, perfect!"

Ah, Maika, you're in a class of your own...

Trooping through the first snow dump of the year,

and it was a good one.

Now it's raining as I type this,

then it will freeze,

then snow some more all week,

which means a layer of sharp crunchy icy snow 

sandwiched somewhere in the mess.

Translation: impossible to walk in

without causing injuries to everyone's legs :-(

At least the doggies enjoyed the powder while it lasted :-)

Days like these I'm so happy we have the perfect "snow dogs"!

Across the street from us you'll find two houses. In one of them lives a super sweet, old couple (in their 70's I think?) - they bought the land and he built the house in 1955, their kids all live in the vincinity and if you want to know anything about anyone past and present, you go to them.

He used to manage the farm that was once here, now everything is split into lots - we inherited what used to be a pig barn and a cow barn, and yes the chicken coop too. I found out there were tons of animals here a few decades ago, goats and meat pigs and dairy cows, and all this land was grazing pasture for the critters. It's amazing the history you can pick up by having a chat with these folks, and what other people can tell you about them.

I found out they lost a son many moons ago, on the road just in front of their house - hit by a drunk driver, in broad daylight. And from another neighbor I found out one of their daughters has terminal cancer.

I don't believe that's the end of it, either, specially when this sweet old lady got run over by some assjerk driver in a grocery store's parking lot a month ago, she got her leg crushed and also injured her back, huge deep wounds that are taking forever to heal causing a lot of pain and suffering.

Every two days her husband drives her to the clinic to get her wounds cleaned and bandaged. It's costing them a small fortune in medical supplies (not covered by the government plan or insurance), she can hardly walk so this little old man has to do everything, from cooking and cleaning and caring for their dog to shopping and shoveling the driveway. Their kids help out when they can but for the most part they're on their own.

The driver got cited for dangerous driving but that's it. He never once called to see how she was doing, never sent a card, never visited her in hospital. And that's what hurts them the most, the utter lack of caring. This guy got to drive away and resume his life while theirs are in shambles since then.

I don't understand how such bad things can happen to such good people.

It angers me, it really does.

And hah, they're not angry - it happened and they're dealing with it, they're just hurt at the indifference they had to endure. Is it a generation thing? Being indignant?

I'll bake them some warm bread this week, as they don't really eat any eggs and don't eat cake.

I gotta do something.

/end of Society Poop Bag post/