Happy is as happy does

I'm so cheerful today!

First, it's Friday. Second, it's sunny and warmer than it's been all week - above the freezing mark, LOL - and third, the Halloween candy is on sale tomorrow - wheee!

A few very good things have happened recently, none of which I can share at the moment... I know, I know! Cliffhangers! Let's just say Karma has been super nice to me and I'm very grateful... So far, this lemonade is pretty good ;-)

I've been busy updating the Dog Blog (see widget on top right-hand corner of side bar), so far it's been a big hit and I'm just thrilled. Add that to my list of things I am grateful for, to balance out my disgust with the expanding waistline. Ugghh. Fruits and veggies have practically fallen out of my diet the past month or so, it's terrible.

Any suggestions on how to motivate yourself to eat salads in winter?

/end of Must Add "Eat Greens" To My To-Do List post/

How I survive my days on planet blue

I have to point out, hats off, give an award to The Fail Blog... If you haven't bookmarked this site yet then you either have zero sense of humour, you're lazy or you're about to jump off a cliff and just don't care.

For the rest of you... are we laughing yet?

PS: am not responsible for any milk squirting out of your noses, cracked ribs, pee in panty crotches or any firings due to you becoming an avid reader who wheezes from laughing instead of filing those papers. Seriously. I'm just a fan, nothing else. Back to work, you bums!

Bad things I did as a child

~one~
In kindergarden, I stole someone's bag of Munchos chips and ate them while everyone was off playing on the monkey bars.

I got accused of it, denied it vehemently, and when the teacher leaned down towards my face and said "let me smell your breath!" I grabbed a big square wooden block (you know, for stacking and stuff?) and smacked her on the forehead with it before running away.

That purple lump stuck around for weeks... I still have that letter the teacher sent home to my parents.

I might frame it.

~two~
Once when my little brother and I were picking raspberries from tall stalks in the field not too far from home, one of us (must have been him, of course...) stepped on a nasty wasps' nest and those f*ckers just swarmed!

Um.

I distinctly remember shoving him out of the way so I could run home to safety... leaving him to sport about three dozen stings from head to foot.

Oh, the screaming...

He swelled up like a puff pastry and it's a miracle he didn't die of wasp juice poisoning.

~three~
Another time, my best friend and I were playing in my "fort" on the wooded hills next to my house, it was getting dark and past dinnertime so her frail old grandfather had walked all the way down to my house to call her (this was the late 70's, it was how things were done).

He must have yelled her name fifteen times at the top of his old lungs while we huddled down, giggling quietly - I kept telling my friend to shush, don't go, make him worry.

I think he passed away shortly after that... I am still guilt-ridden and ashamed about it, to this day. I'll probably see him in hell...

/end of This Is Why I Don't Want Kids post/

Travels in space and time

"The future is called "perhaps," which is the only possible thing to call the future.

And the only important thing is not to allow that to scare you."
~Tennessee Williams, Orpheus Descending, 1957

Vegas loves meh!

You know your man's a sweetheart when he comes to your office with a box in his hands and a big smile on his face, all topped with a beautiful card full of mooshy words!

What was in the said box? A dreamy new awesome camera lens!

It was supposed to be a christmas present but with the recent events "somebody" thought I needed a morale boost, and hopefully I'll have some free time to dabble more into photography...

I'm so spoiled. Awe!

He didn't have to do this, I love him to bits no matter what life events get thrown on our path. But. This does make me smile like an idiot and makes me forget, just for a moment, the shitty icelandic weather outside (it's deep winter freezing winds, brr - we went out with colleagues for dim sum in Chinatown and almost didn't make it back!).

I might have some good news to share in a bit... good joojoo accepted!

/end of Where's My Lava Lamp post/

F*ck me - it's snowing!!

** speechless**

Brain food

"Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up

because they're looking for ideas."

~Paula Poundstone

The good, the bad and the ugly

OK let's start with the good, we all need some good! The lovely and talented Chica from Design Bug put the finishing touches on my new blog today... Yes! Another one! My last for a while, LOL!

Sooo... tadaah! Please check it out, ladies and gentlemen: Bubblegum Dogs is now alive and kicking! Hope you join the dog house and visit often, it should be pretty fun in there. Dog haters please abstain! *grin*

For the bad, well it's been pissing cold rain all day and it's turning into wet skanky snow overnight. I can see cases of S.A.D. on the horizon if the weather doesn't get better soon... that stuff's no joke, it can seriously mess with your brain chemicals. No wonder chocolate-flavoured whiskey is so popular in deep winter... or is that pickles n'vodka?

The ugly: if the crap at work keeps up, I might have to put my foot down because that package they offered me? It's just not good enough. No thank you. And I will fight back if I have to.

So on this note I now have to take the furkids out for their evening bio-break in the pouring freezing rain, then we endure the stink of wet dogs for a few hours. And we're out of wine, too.

Life is good! :-D

/end of Just Another Day In Corporate Hell post/

I needed this!

Oh dear lordy, a little humour never hurt anybody... Found this most awesome classic while trolling youtube and you KNOW you wanna see this (full volume required)!

*giggle*

So simple, so wrong yet so clever... what's not to like?

G'nite! :-)

So... now what?

I get up for the next couple of weeks to come sit in this office, stare at the screen and try to swallow this lump of a heartache and feeling of dread, of dejection, of rejection, and for what? To pack up six years' worth of memories into a box, bring it home, put it on the floor and pace around it like a tiger in a cage, pissed off, listless and frightened?

Fucking worst feeling in the world. I can't help it. Logically I cannot take it personally, there are some incredibly talented people here who also got let go, but my emotional response is "I wasn't good enough to make the cut".

This is the 3rd company restructure I've gone through, and all three times I've been let go. I've never been good enough to keep.

*insert a bunch of 4-letter words here*

I just feel like crying, like crawling into a cave to let this feeling pass. People need happy and positive, they need smiles and strong backbones! Say no to pity parties!

Amazing how much of our identities are tied in with our jobs.

/end of Feeling Like A Hobo post/

Who am I becoming?

"People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself.

But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates."

~Thomas Szasz, "Personal Conduct," The Second Sin, 1973

~ gumption ~

Am trying to summons the mojo to finally get our feet to the botanical gardens, that Chinese Lanterns exhibit ends in a few days and today would be a good time to go, since it's dry and kinda sunny... Why am I just not feeling it!

Damn laziness. Grrr.

Dakotah sported his very first tick today, fuck those things are gross!

Vegas found it while petting said Melonhead between the ears - as soon as we got home we took the tweezers and pulled the bloated, blood-sucking thing out (gag). I'm not sure we got all of it and we're on the lookout for any changes in Dakotah's health and/or behaviour, can't risk anything happening to our boy.

So. Pretty quiet weekend here. I'm too squishy and soft to be baking brownies cuz then I'll eat them and feel even worse, how I got out of shape so fast I really don't know. Vegas likes the marshmallow but I'm the one who has to squeeze into my jeans and sport the muffin-top, so nerrr.

No more eating the emotions and stress away.

Of course, the minute I write that I'm suddenly craving pork chops with gravy and mashed taters followed by warm apple pie and ice cream. Arse!

/end of Slow Sunday Crockery Mockery post/

Zzzz therapy

Dreams are answers to questions

we haven't yet figured out how to ask.

~X-Files

Liquid sunshine

Well, it's autumn inching towards winter, that's for sure... Today was the reason rainboots, umbrellas and the suicide prevention hotline were invented. I'll let you fill in the blanks!

The awesome Vegas helped me get my LinkedIn profile up and running this afternoon; I then spent over an hour adding connections so hopefully I'll see some job leads trickle in eventually. Just feel much better now that my CV is being fleshed out - yesterday I had nothing and was freaking the hell out about it... I just need to do a little bit every day until I find a job, you know?

Anyways. Maybe this break will force me to learn how to relax?!

LOL - as if.

Tonight is silky butternut squash soup and buttermilk biscuits, the dogs have meaty goat bones, then it's movies n'popcorn while the icy cold rain continues to pelt the windows in a most depressing way. Ass nuggets!

Don't forget to vote on the new poll ---> see side bar.

This is all my brain can handle at the moment, am wishing you all a most pleasant weekend filled with booze, hot chocklit, squats, sex, ice cream, whatever turns your crank!

/end of Spanking The Deadbeats post/

Destiny

"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant,
filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for
and don't always like."
~Lemony Snicket

Gutted

It's one thing to know corporations are heartless, it's another to be on the receiving end of the shit stick.

I was OK with losing my job as I had heard the layoff packages were "generous", "excellent", etc. That we would all be employed until the end of November and then the severance would kick in: hence me taking one month off before working again. Well, that was the plan.

The reality?

Mid-November we all get cut off, and I got offered half of what I expected. Six long years of service with not one raise, and for what? I feel angry, humilitated, gutted, appalled and most of all, I feel like I never mattered. A worthless employee who got the bare-bones minimum allowed by law.

I left the HR's office in tears and have been feeling sick ever since.

Next week I have to fight this, there is no way I am accepting this pathetic excuse of a package. I am lucky that my soon-to-be-ex-boss's friend and neighbor is a corporate lawyer who knows this province's labour laws inside out, so I will get guidance on what to write in the counter-offer. There is no fucking way I'm walking away with so little. No. Way.

I've been a zombie the past six hours, barely able to function. On the way home from work, we stopped at a little boutique and Vegas let me pick a present... I got us a lovely new shower curtain, LOL! Yes, of all things... the skanky 12-year old one just had to go, dammit.

This weekend we'll work on my CV, I've got to get my LinkedIn profile up and running and start letting people know I am available.

Job-hunting and going for interviews are my worst nightmare.

Fucking hell.

/end of All Dollars, No Sense post/

Post-trauma post

Mleh. This is pretty much how I feel this morning.

Like the penguin.

This week's stress concentrated itself in my right neck & shoulder, so I'm walking lopsided and crunching painkillers like nobody's bidness. Neither of us slept well - Vegas due to his pints of lager and me due to aches - so this morning leaves us crusty-eyed, hung over and wishing this was all a bad dream.

Whatever. Life's an adventure and this is only a bend in the road, it allows for different scenery and that's always a good thing!

I'm all miss positive in this giant mess, no worries :-)

As things stand now, it's business as usual until the legal Close of Acquisition which is projected to be end of November. Meaning, everybody keeps their jobs until then. Yey!

And unless something drastic happens - like the perfect job offer for a dream company - I am taking December off. Yes, all of it. I want to sleep, read, take a photography course and bake. Get ready for Christmas. Take care of the kids, spoil Vegas, have some "me" time to reflect on my life... all the while looking for a job, of course.

January 2009 - let's see who'll be the lucky company to hire me, LOL!

Going to catch up on your blogs today, lord knows I have the time now...

/end of Life Throws A Punch But You Punch Back post/

Jack is out of the box

I'm so freaking glad the long agonizing wait is over and we can talk about it now. The stress has been physically reducing me to a quivering mess and I'm on the verge of catching a massive cold - what immune system?!

For those in the 3D software business, details are on our website at softimage.com - have fun in the bloodbath. For everyone else, let's just say our amazing little renegade company has been acquired by its giant arch-nemesis, who now has quasi-monopoly over the market.

Brilliant, innit?

For over 22 years we've been at each other's throats and now that we have something they desperately want, they eat us. The community is freaking the hell out. Not good, not good, not good.

The only thing that matters in all of this is that Vegas keeps his job; we're starting on the immigration/green card process asap because if anything shitty happens - we're fucked, completely and utterly fucked.

Me, I'll land on my feet. It's status quo for everyone during the next few weeks until the acquisition is legally completed and then those who are being let go get their package and a golden handshake. Yey I get a package! Just need to find a new job at some point, a kickass one. I'm not settling for the first thing that comes along, I just can't.

Anyways. That was the news. Am losing my job after six years in my beloved company, whose just had its heart ripped out of its chest.

Alot of people were openly crying during this afternoon's meeting, some were in shock, many are still in denial and most are enraged and sickened. It's gonna be a long next few weeks, I'll tell you that much.

G'nite peeps.

/end of Goliath 1, David 0 post/

Right now...

I would have tried to describe how I feel, but this image does the job pretty well... Don't ask why, cuz I can't say. What a horrendous, dark time this is. Dog have mercy.

Personal hygiene - not an option, folks!

I'm talking about people who have access to basic cleaning facilities and supplies - get it from the Dollar Store if you're broke but man, just doowit! Scrub! Comb! Floss! Anything!

Nothing gets me more down than slovenly humans who reek of laziness and disrespect - for themselves and for everyone around who has to endure them. When you live in a cave far away from civilisation, then fine. Stink all you want. But when I have to share a bus or a public toilet with you? Come on, make an effort!

Hand in the fire you've met at least one of these characters in your lifetime:

Halitosis Harry: The garlic he had for lunch two days ago has marinated into a nuclear cloud you can smell from across the conference hall. Wallpaper peels off walls he breathes on. Conversations with him make your eyes water and you wonder how long you can talk while breathing through your mouth. This wasn't just a bad lunch, this is his normal state. Is married to Crusty Carol.

Crusty Carol: When she smiles at you, the thick sheets of yellow tartar on her teeth and bright red gums are hypnotising. You cannot help but wonder which year those piano keys last saw a toothbrush and how much money is she saving on toothpaste and floss - enough for a downpayment on a house? The green and black accents from rotten food stuck in the crevices add a finishing touch. Never needs a costume for halloween.

B.O. Bob: The one you usually get stuck next to on a crowded bus on a hot summer day. Bonus if it's 6pm and he has to grab an elevated handle for balance, this leaving you nowhere to face but his soggy armpit. This guy has been using the same bar of no-name soap for the past 10 years and is oblivious to deodorant. There is biological warefare in his underwear; cows routinely mistake him for a salt-block. Makes skunks run for cover.

Dandruff Dan: Routinely carries snow and/or cornflakes on his shoulders, loves to wear black to show it off. Often sports hair so oily french fries leap up from plates for a friendly spar. Combs hair with sardines and doesn't hesitate to scratch n'pluck in the middle of meetings. Leaves a trail when travelling so rarely gets lost. Has hair halitosis.

Nosepicker Nancy: Doesn't even bother waiting for a red light, that's for amateurs. Leaves a snail trail on her trouser thighs and scabs around her nostrils; keeps the biggest boogers in a tin for future snacks. Loves catching colds to have an excuse sneezing, snotting, blowing and picking in public. Leaves a trail of germs on everything she touches or leaks on.

The list goes on but you get the idea.

Blecch. I just don't get it. Aren't showers and baths a pleasant thing? Or am I just a freak with too much time on her hands while she's lathering her hair up and of course, this is the place to let it all out... Hmm. At least I smell nice.

/end of Please Use Soap Responsibly post/

On darkness and dating

You know, the kind you dread every year, when the cold rains come and strip the trees down while soaking your soul to the bones? Yeah. That. Welcome to Tuesday!

Luckily, I have whacko friends like Prin who like to send me hysterical little cartoons like this one on Dating Phases - no, seriously, you have to check this shit out! I might have peed my panties a little.

*ah-hem*

Have you ever spent an entire evening glued to The Food Network cuz the shows are so awesome? Whodathunkit... it's become our favorite channel of the lot yet here we are, eating cheese on toast and cereal for dinner. Something is seriously wrong here.

I'm stalling for time here, writing drivel until the things of substance can be talked about. Sigh. I hate being censored yet I understand why - doesn't make it easier though.

Bear with me for a bit longer.

/end of Corporations Suck post/

State of mind

One photo, a few blathering words.

Most of them four-lettered.

We are all hulks deep inside

I wanted to hate Edward Norton's "Hulk" as much as I wanted to love Robert Downey Jr's "Ironman". However somebody (points finger randomly up towards the skies) has a sick sense of humour and twisted it all around - hah.

I just felt bad for the poor guy, couldn't even get it on with his woman lest the green beast make an appearance. A sick part of me kept wondering "how big does that green dick get, anyways?" but I guess we'll have to wait for "The Incredible Bulk" to find out.

The rest of the evening was spent watching tornado disaster shows and eating dill-pickle popcorn. Yeah. We be classy.

In other news, here are the awesome hiking boots I got yesterday, which will hopefully make the next few year's hikes with the doggies more pleasant... Vegas also got some new footwear so the next time he trips on a leaf, I'm gonna have a ball with it :-D

What else... oh yeah, the winter tires are going on the car today. Can't trust this weather farther than I can throw it.

All this to say... find your inner Hulk in times of distress. That's my motto for this week: don't get discouraged or feel defeated, get mad! Turn the tables around on fate and show her what ya got, baby! Am braced for the worst news possible and if it happens, I will turn green and start thrashing cars around while roaring like a mofo.

Nobody will see my crying inside.

/end of Must Get Through This Horrid Week post/

Look but don't touch

"Women flirt to keep their stock high, men to get somewhere."
~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

I'm alive, thank dog!

It wasn't really the quantity of food I had last night, it was a really bad reaction that happened in my gut... Six hours of shakes, cramps, nausea and an elevated BP later I finally managed to get to bed, where I lay awake for another two hours before passing out.

So yep. Five hours of sleep later here I am, sipping a hot apple cimbun tea that Vegas made for me and spoiling you all with tales of grossdom.

He he.

I don't think we're doing much today on account of rubber legs and a bruised gut. Poor sweet Vegas... he stayed up with me until the wee hours, making sure I wasn't going through this alone. I never had anyone do that before. *blush*

Um, ok no mooshies this morning.

*sips tea*

We do need to drive up to the Mountain Equipment Coop (MEC) to look for hiking boots, yesterday's walk in the bumpy woods in old sneakers (trainers, sports shoes, whatever you calls 'em) just didn't cut it. Vegas almost twisted his ankle on a a leaf!

Apologies for the boring past couple of days, peeps... My heart's not been into making up funny stories when my head is a mess. Damn work stress. *breathes*

/end of Have A Great Sunday! post/

I'm dying

I'm an idiot.

I knew I was eating too much as I was eating too much. I can't do wine, appetizers, main course and dessert, WTF was I thinking!

We switched to a greek place after the thai place only had "two kinds of wine" left - what a joke! So yeah. Been home for over two hours now, trying to breathe while a giant hot acid watermelon battles my stomach for space, I look pregnant and feel miserably green. Fuck, I almost wish I could puke just to get the crap out of my system.

Groooaaan. Shit way to end a Saturday night.

Too bad cuz the food was awesome and we had a great time eating it.

/end of Just Please Can I Die Now post/

So far... not too shabby!

Let's see... last night was quiet, we just vegged out and watched TV, drank wine and tried to exhale all the horrible work stress from our systems - next week's gonna be a doozy so stay tuned for horror stories... Um. I can't say anything more at this point.

We decided to skip out of town for the afternoon today so drove out to the Eastern Townships to let the dogs loose in one of my favorite walking forests.

Ahhh.

It's amazing how much the smell of bright, thickly fallen maple leaves swishing and crunching underfoot can clear out polluted city lungs and make you feel human again. Yeah. Twas lovely. Dogs are shattered, of course, he he! Zzzzzzz.

We're just getting ready to head out to a neighborhood thai restaurant, a good hot curry and some wine should round out this day nicely.

My dad wrote back.

And yes, he was nice... the lines of communication are open again, so to speak - at least he explained himself a bit which made me realise there has been a big hiccup somewhere. My previous email to him got misundersood, he felt disrespected which is why he launched a missile at my head. I'm not saying he's right, he should have been the adult and the parent and asked questions instead of getting offended and being mean. And I will clear this all up.

However, I am feeling much better about life now... like I'm mending fences and making amends with the important things in life.

Um, right now it's food, booze and a maybe a good spanking later on, my stomach's about to digest itself. Feed meh!

Will pontificate on the mooshy things another time.

/end of Hit The Highs To Hit The Lows post/

On bloobs

"How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes,

packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras

teach patience to its young?"

~Paul Sweeney

Gaaaahhh!

It's Friday afternoon and my shoulders are bunching up from tension. Obviously I don't feel like working, and obviously someone else feels like working even LESS than I do so you know what happens? I have to do her job. Yep.

Are we in the same department?

Of course not.

So, in the space of an hour, I have become a financial accountant whiz who has to dig deep into mountains of data and graphs to make a pretty presentation. If I'm lucky I might be done by Halloween and of course, it had to be done a week ago. So. Not. Cool.

I can't get home to that glass of red wine fast enough. That, and a massage.

Yey for boyfriends with strong hands!

If he's lucky, I may pay him back in sex. He he.

/end of I Wish I Psychic post/

Comforts

Soft comfy warm bed with

The man of my dreams in it

Morning sunshine, lighting up

Blazing trees

Hot coffee

Happy squishy doggies

Brushing the remnants of sleep

Out of my head

I stop and give thanks

For all the love in my life.

On politics

"Take our politicians: they're a bunch of yo-yos.

The presidency is now a cross between a popularity contest

and a high school debate, with an encyclopedia of cliches the first prize."

~Saul Bellow

Random thoughts

Some of the stuff that wafts through my head on my morning walks to work...

Homeless people are not all lazy.
Many of them are hard at work soliciting on street corners at the crack of dawn. Heck, if they can do that they can go mop floors at McD or serve donuts at Timmies instead - not only would they make more money in a few hours there than on a cold wet street corner, they'd get a hot breakfast too. This world is crazy.

The bible promotes incest.
It's true! See, first there was Adam and Eve. And they procreated, right? Well with whom did their progeny then mate with to create the human race? Certainly not apes since Evolution is a myth, so there you have it. One big happy fambly! Sure puts a new shine to the term "love thy parents", eh?

Why do I end up with pants I hate?
They were on sale, they were what I was looking for (black skinny jeans) and it's a shop I like. They fit when I tried them on before buying them. But now. Shit. They're so low-cut I can't bend over to tie my shoe, it exposes the crack of my arse to the wind and squishes my belly into a muffin-top that jiggles when I walk and that's it! They're going to Goodwill tonight! Grrr.

I wonder how much money I lost.
With the recent stock market crash, no doubt my retirement investments and funds went to crap. I am petrified of the bad news, should get a quartely statement in the coming weeks. Gawd. Been investing heavily the past decade and now it could all be wiped out. What to do??

Oooo onion rings!
I smell onion rings and hash browns. Wow my morning toast got digested really fast! *belly grumbles*

/end of Brain Farts post/

Thank you Doug Savage

Yey! I'm not the only one! LOL

OK I did it

I sent my dad a note... nothing confrontational, just some honest words on why I took so long to reply to his (unfair) email and that I was still digesting the situation, but that I was there for him and that I missed him.

Sent him a couple photos from the weekend (of his grandson) and reminded him that he always said family was the most important thing, so now what? not in those exact words but the drift was there

I honestly have no clue if he'll respond. I just wish my stepmom would get in touch with me, we really need to talk - need to ask her opinion about a family intervention.

The silence worries me, and I'm too chickenshit to call.

F*****************CK!

/end of What Have I Done post/

I think it's pretty funny

So after the Canadian elections last night, things are pretty much exactly the same as they were before.

This is why I don't get involved.

Six weeks of annoying campaigning, millions of dollars sunk into politicking, endless debates and fist shaking in the air and for what? To give the population a chance to show it had no big issues with how the country was run since the last election?

Pass the popcorn :-D

/end of This Minute Has 47 Seconds post/

On truth

"Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication. They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others. Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships." ~Author Unknown

OK, here's the deal...

I wasn't going to blog about it but it's bugging me, so here goes:

My dad is being a stubborn, hurtful ass.

I thought I was being picked on but just found out very recently that he's been mean and hurtful towards my brother (at least one, maybe both), towards his wife - my stepmom - and towards everyone who visits their house.

It's gotten so bad, my stepmom wrote to me in desperation, she is thinking of leaving him after 17 years together. She's at her wit's end.

Thing is, we all think he's severely depressed and/or has a medical issue he refuses to tell anyone about. The years of self-medicating with booze and drugs has got to stop, he's killing himself: he now weighs less than 150 lbs, his OCD is getting horrid and he's lashing out at everyone who gives a crap and is thus alienating himself into a corner draped with self-pity.

Now, I know you can't help someone who won't help himself, that's obvious. But how can we help? A family intervention would end up with someone getting smacked in the head, he refuses to go talk to anyone and everything is just fine... it's never his fault, eh?

I personally think he's been in a midlife crisis the past decade.

He was forced into early retirement (they call it "bridged" so he could get his pension) but even before that he resented his job. He won't even do menial jobs or volunteer anymore because it interferes with his pot and his beer, he rarely leaves his house in the boonies, forget any social activities with his wife - what kind of life is that?

His last email to me over two months ago was so shitty, I still haven't written back - I have nothing to say and no heart to say it with. Now he thinks I'm pissed at him, but I'm not - I just feel so damn helpless.

I don't want to lose my father. He's only 58 years old and already a ghost of himself, sometimes a Sean Of The Dead character really.

What the hell should I do? Is there anything I can do?

/end of A Daughter's Dilemma post/

Tuesday, in one sentence:

Amen.

Snapshots redux!

Well, it's almost done now... Check it out: The new revamped Bubblegum Diaries!

Yep! My dear designer Chica worked her butt off this weekend to get this up and running for me - we're still fine-tuning things (like the photo tabs, they'll only be live later this week after I get coached on the coding - ah, she's so patient!) but for the most part, that's it! Wooo!

I would love more snapshots blog followers so hey, don't be shy... please spread the good word :-)

Vegas left for New York earlier this morning, I had to do the dog run and am now obviously late for work. Somehow, chugging a latte just isn't very couth soooo I blog to alleviate the guilt.

Crap. It's not working. Byyyyeeeee!

/end of Yay New Snapshots Blog! post/

Hims cute, eh?

Anyone who knows me worth a lick knows that babies and I are like oil and vinegar - we only mix for a short period of time. However I don't mind smart happy quiet babies like my nephew, who was a charm for all of the three hours we spent together in the sunny woods last Saturday.

I don't think he sat in his stroller for more than two minutes, LOL! Here his is with grandpa, then it was one gramma, then the other, then his mom, then his dad... I don't touch babies though, I only photograph them and it's good nuff for me.

This three-day weekend melted away like soft toffee on my tongue, and I want it back dammit! Despite the migraines (all gone now), the PMS and various hiccups... I had a super lovely time.

But not a turkey in sight. Oh well!

Am ready to face the week now - however with Vegas away in NYC for most of it, I expect the days to feel long. The suitcase and airport thing tends to bring back bad memories.

Long-distance relationships suck ass, OK?

Kay, back to watching the fights with Vegas... ever since we upgraded our TV to digital, he's got his soccer and fight networks and I have my cooking and animal planet shows, it's all good. Except today was for fightins' and my head is spinning from those sweaty cauliflower-eared punching machines KO'ing each other out. Such a guy thing!

/end of Back To Reality post/

Lazy Thanksgiving Monday

Wrench self out of bed
Guiltily, 11am
Brain in a fog, outside
Also quite foggy
Lazy lazy lazy day
I love it

Home Sweet Home

"He is the happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home."
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Farmer's market

'Twas utter mayhem but we had a great time!

Got everything we needed for tonight's veggie chowder (ah, the inspiration you get when watching The Food Network...), stocked up on exotic spices and stuffs to make thai curry, got a bushel of fresh giant leeks to prep for the freezer - they are crucial to any winter soup or stew as every cook knows!

After a trip back to the car to dump the big heavy bags full of loot - Vegas won't let me carry a damn thing so he was aching - we walked back for a coffee and lemon pie, sitting outside in the clouded balmy afternoon while smokers blew their crap in our faces and a lame saxophone player loudly mangled tunes to the delight of old people moseying along nearby.

It's all part of the experience, I tell you :-D

I love autumn, what can I say... Right, have to get a move-on as the doggies are pointedly staring holes into the back of my head in the hopes I'll remember to take them out for a romp. Moms never get a break, do they?

/end of Bushels And Baskets Of Beauties post/

Clean lungs and snapping fun

Brief summary of the day:

6:45am, wake up to throbbing headache. Take meds.

9:30am, wake up to still throbbing headache. Get backrubs and neck stretches, have brekkie n'coffee, stagger around clutching at head, take shower and more meds. Vegas valiantly kneads my evil knots again. Ground is gained.

12:30pm, pack up fambly in car and drive to my brother's land for a family walk in the warm autumn sun. Headache receeds to a tolerable low throb. Yey! I can't feel my fingers though.

1:45pm, very stoned!

2pm, meet with the gang, hugs n'kisses, so lovely to see everyone again! Hate babies but the nephew is kinda cute. He made the grade for my photo model of the day (yes, you'll see the bugger in the snapshots blog soon). Dogs go nuts loose in the woods. Very nuts.

3pm, one of them finds the lake. Wet dirty dogs ensue.

3:45pm, time for fresh apples - thanks mom! and a trip to the little cemetary in front of my brother's land (he says they're awesome quiet neighbors, LOL). Dogs still running around like eejits, one of them finds a dino-sized rib bone in a bush. Snack snack.

4:30pm, time to go after being covered in drunken ladybugs. Have over 200 photos on my camera, I must have greedy shutter fingers.

4:45pm, stop at the local grain-fed chicken farm and get goodies for dinner, mmm. Thank goodness they had mini honey-glazed donuts, we were both crashing from a sugar low and it saved our butts.

Needless to say the dogs are now in a coma and we're both pretty drained from the day. I'll get to downloading and filtering through the pics tomorrow, tonight is for vegging out... still woozy from the crappy head (this weekend it's hormonal folks, nothing I can do but ride it out... damn PMS crap).

I feel so happy... had to reach out to my family (mom side of things) cuz things with my dad are shitty at the moment, and I just found out that he's doing this to just about everyone so it's not just me.

This is a long sore subject so I'll drop it here before writing a novel-sized rant.

Life is short - spend it with the people who love you for the right reasons. That's all I'll say about that.

PS: OK so this wasn't a brief recap. Too bad :-D

/end of Happy Thanksgiving Saturday post/

Hop!

"In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play."
~Friedrich Nietzsche

More awesomeness!

She did it again! w00t!

My superduper blog designer Chica revamped the header for my Bubblegum Snapshots blog - pretty neat, innit? At some point I'll have her redo the whole thing but for now, me is happy.

*satisfied sigh*

Just would like a few more followers for that one and my world is all rainbows, hot chocolates and a renewed vigour for snapping photos. Sweet :-)

A stretch, a yawn, and a hullo

Thanks again for all the get-well joojoo - it worked! Tummy settled down last night after a day of carbs, ginger-ale and chicken noodle soup... apparently gramma's old tricks still work.

Just in time for a lovely, warm and sunny 3-day weekend (Canadian Thanksgiving) - yey! Last night Vegas asked me what it was all about, and then pointed out that I must have studied history when all I managed to mumble was turkeys, pumpkins and pilgrims. Um yeah, I got a D+, can't you tell?

So, to appear smart again I wiki'ed the damn thing - here is the bastardized (ie, badly written) version:

Thanksgiving, or Thanksgiving Day, is a traditional North American holiday, which is a form of harvest festival. Today, Thanksgiving is celebrated on the second Monday of October in Canada and on the fourth Thursday of November in the United States.

Although not as famous, the first "day of Thanksgiving" actually took place at Berkeley Hundred, Virginia in 1619 - a year before the Mayflower brought the Pilgrims to Massachusetts.

The Pilgrims were early settlers on the east coast of North America. They traveled from England on a ship called The Mayflower and made their new home in what is now Plymouth, Massachusetts, 380 km northeast of what is now New York.

Many of the pilgrims died during their first winter in North America. They were cold and did not have enough food. The following year, though, the Native Americans, who were from the Wampanoag tribe, helped them grow crops. At harvest time in the fall of 1621, they were very thankful that they had a good crop of food to eat during the coming winter. They thanked God and the Wampanoags for teaching them how to grow crops.

They invited three of the Wampanoags who had helped them to their feast. They were Squanto, Samoset, and Chief Massasoit. The Wampanoags brought their families. This was over 90 people. There were so many people that the Pilgrims did not have enough food to make the meal, so the Wampanoags brought along their own food for the feast.

The Wampanoags brought turkey, duck, fish, deer, berries, squash, cornbread, and beans -- things that they had farmed for which they had shown the Pilgrims how to care for.

And there you have it.

Although I don't remember the last time I had a real Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings... sigh. Now that I'm well again my tummy is rumbling at the thought of juicy turkey, gravy, mashed sweet potatoes with side veggies, hot buttered cornbread, warm cinnamon apple pie... *groan*

The doggies spent yesterday at the dogsitter's so this is what they're doing all day today, while mommy and daddy slave away at the office:



So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen... My next life... I'm coming back as a dog!

I love these buggers and am actually thinking of starting another blog (yes... a third one...) just for them. Photos, more photos and tales of curly tails. Lord knows I have the time for this sort of adventure, blogging's become my complete addiction - it's almost embarassing at times.

Well. Better than watching soap operas all day long while sucking on orange cheezit fingers and growing a paunch, I suppose.

Crap. Work just tapped me on the shoulder, I better get going... Now that my mojo's crept back into ze brain I should put it to good use rather than babbling on about sex. Wait. No, that's not right... I didn't even get to that part yet.

But now I'm out of time!

Rats!

/end of Happy Healthy Friday, Everyone! post/

On censorship

"I disapprove of what you say,

but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

~Voltaire

Not my cup of tea

I *wish* I could have a cup of tea but it would probably send my stomach in spasms. Yep. Getting my butt kicked by the stupid stomach flu. Again.

It's been over a week! Give me a break, for crying out loud!

So I'm at home, in jammies, sipping cold water and trying to keep it down. Missing yet another day of work and feeling like a prisoner, I want my life back - waaah!

~a bit later~

Well I had a piece of buttered honey toast and gobbed drool all over it, must have been hungry. Vegas told me our office floor is practically deserted so I shouldn't feel too bad staying at home near the clean bathroom, but still. I hate feeling useless, you know?

Wow, talk about a whole lotta post about nothing.

I sorry.

At least I posted some fun sky shots in my photo blog and oooh bonus, I managed to annoy the shit out of Vegas yesterday afternoon, which lead to a big serious discussion (on msm, no less) and last night I was too ill to even enjoy the ensuing cuddles of bloomed-again love. Crap!!

Is there a grandma's trick to fixing a broken tummy?

Anyone?

This post is taking me too long to write, I feel dizzy and incoherent (hence boring) so off to the couch I go to watch cooking shows. If I can't eat, I might as well fantasize about it, right?

/end of This Post Never Should Have Happened post/

Come on baby light my fire...

"Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens."

~J.R.R. Tolkien

The king and I

When women get sick, they still go to work and if in extreme cases they stay home, well, might as well get some laundry out of the way, and hey the floors need mopping, errands will still get run and why not prepare a nice dinner for the husband between soaking in a hot tub, sneezing, coughing up loogies and watching Dr Phil?

This is where the battle of the sexes gets really nasty.

Girls, you know what I'm talking about. And guys, you know too: admit it. When it comes to "being sick" you guys lose, hands down.

Evidence: the scattered used tissues on the table, the strewn socks and various items of soiled clothing on the floor, the cluttered kitchen sink and sticky counters, the messed-up bed that smells of pits and the fridge, mysteriously empty of all edible leftovers and where did that slice of cake go?

Fine, not all men are like this but the stereotype did come from somewhere :-)

Yep. I'm wearing the crown today since Vegas is at home, sick with the mans-flu. To his credit he did take the dogs out this morning so it could be worse, but I don't expect to come home to a roomful of roses, if you know what I mean.

I shouldn't have given him my germs, eh?

*pats Vegas on the head*

Just another routine day here at work... Yes I did finally get that (small) raise so it's a battle won, next step in a few months is to get that hiked again to meet Canada's yearly inflation rate of 3.1%. Could be worse though... I heard Zimbabwe's is something like 165,000%.

Can you imagine?!

"I'd like a loaf of bread, please"
"Here you go, ma'am. That'll be $2,788"
"What. The. F*ck! Yesterday it cost $1,69!"
"Well, ya know. Inflation and all that. You paying by credit card, or?..."

/end of Glad To Live In Canada post/

Synthetic love

"Cruelty is one fashion statement we can all do without."

~Rue McClanahan

Bambicide

It's that time of the year again, where walking in the woods isn't safe unless both you and your dogs wear flashing bright fluorescent vests with bells on... cuz you just might get mistaken for a juicy buck and whack! Get a bullet in the head.

Gawd, I hate hunting season.

Not only for the sight of poor bloodied carcasses of once-noble deer roped to the roof of cars, but for the hyprocrisy it shelters.

If you're a meat eater and you loathe hunting, you're a hypocrite.

*points finger at self*

Our meat industry today tries its darndest to erase all ties from the slab of flesh on your plate to the living, breathing, feeling creature that body part once belonged to. Everything is sanitized, sterilized, chopped up and trimmed and neatly packaged for your pleasure - a long cry from how it used to be. And oh, the waste and destruction that is tied to the price tag!

You have to be lucky to find a butcher today who still displays whole dripping animals hanging from a hook (although Chinatowns tend to be more ritualistic and don't mind the mess so much). Nobody wants to look into the eyes of the beast while picking out a pork chop, thank you very much.

I think there'd be alot less waste if everyone had to slaughter, dismember and fillet the animals they consume. Blood goes to make blood pudding, brains make headcheese, innards make pies, fat makes soap, fur and skin make coats and boots, heads make stews, bones make soup and hooves make chew treats for the dogs.

You'd give alot more care to what the animal eats and how it lives and dies, too... an all-around better deal for everyone, don't you think?

No more messy mass slaughtering 24/7. No more antibiotics, steroids, diseases caused by overcrowding, filth, stress and feeding animals back to themselves. No more genetically mutated animals crammed in cages, shitting on top of each other for months before they are boiled alive. No more using only 30% of the animal, wasting the rest.

And list goes on.

So. Although I hate hunting, if the hunters kill sparingly and humanely, and use every bit of the animal with grace and dignity... hats off to them, actually.

/end of I Never Thought I'd Say That post/

Free your imagination!

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities."~Theodore Geisel

Ooops

Just noticed that my last post might have been a bit dark, but I swear it wasn't the point! To lighten things up a bit, how about I ask you to link back to my blog by putting up this purdy little thing on your yours?

OK it's a bit pixelised but should settle down if you add it to your blog's side column or sumtin. For this, you get a big THANK YOU from moi, everlasting gratefulness and a smooch from the doggies, for good measure :-D

Also!

I'd love to have followers, you know, like the Bubblegum Blues Gang or the Diaries Daring Devils... no violence or cult matters involved, of course. Sheesh.

All you need to do is click on "follow this blog" link on the left column, near the top of the page under the box of squished cats, and you're all set! I look groovy and you're always in the loop of stuff.

Thanks guys... I couldn't do it without you!

Flashback in time

Well I'm at home today, migrainy and trying to recuperate from a rough weekend. That gastro did my head in. Feel wobbly, incoherent and heavy... but before I go back to bed, thought to share this with you guys.

To this day, I don't know if it was a dream or if this really happened.

Reality or just a nightmare, there's no way to tell: I've asked my parents about it but they don't remember anything... mind you, I was about 3 years old when this occured so maybe they just forgot.

I was severly asthmatic when I was young.

My mom recounts bringing me into the ER once -or was that twice? - as I had turned blue from not breathing. I remember weekly visits to the evil doctor who poked me with big cold needles in the arm, no matter how much I tried to punch him in the face. My parents got told to move out of the city or the pollution would kill me (we moved when I was 5).

In my room was a humidifier. Early 70's required pretty much everything to look like it fell out of a spaceship' arse, so this aqua-blue plastic flying-saucer shaped contraption sat on the corner of my dresser, releasing silent cold steam towards my bed every night.

Never minded it much until "the incident".

I woke up in the middle of the night and the steam had turned to poison. Hot, toxic smoke pumping away at my face - at least that was the rationale - and I started to SCREAM.

I remember running down the short hall to my parent's bedroom and standing there in the open doorway, screaming and screaming at the top of my lungs, getting more desperate with each passing second that they didn't react. I could see both of them there, under the covers, their backs turned to me in the darkened room.

Were my screams so loud they had become silent? Had I been robbed of my voice? Why wasn't anyone helping me?

My cheeks were wet from tears and my legs shaking with the effort of jumping up and down, my throat raw from terror - that's it, I had become invisible and I would die.

To this day, I think that this incident is what turned me into a freak.

I was three years old.

And conscious of the fact that I was was mortal.

I don't often share personal things like this but thought you should know a bit more about me, since you seem to want to hang around for the goofy stuff - everyone needs balance. OK my head is pounding again, off to bed I go... just wish it was cold and raining outside cuz this is evil torture. Gaahk!

/end of Now You Know Why I Hate Smoking post/

On mercy

"Man was created a little lower than the angels,

and has been getting lower ever since."

~Josh Billings

Would you buy this?

do you believe in god
did you ever lie to your mother
do you like cake
do you have problems falling asleep
what is your favourite colour
are you afraid of certain noises
do you eat too much
would you buy this

are you politically active
do you feel aggressive sometimes
are you nervous
if you were an animal, what would you be
are you afraid of losing control
would you buy this

do you suffer from headaches
do you masturbate
do you like flowers
are you afraid of water
do you wear blue jeans at the office
do you sometimes wish you were another person
would you buy this

did you believe in santa claus
did you ever kill an animal on purpose
are you afraid of hurting someone
did you ever dismiss somebody
would you buy this

did you ever dream you could fly
are you afraid of fire
do you like music
did you ever get water up your nose
would you buy this

are you afraid of spiders
did you ever have sex with a person you didn't know
would you buy this
do you like reality shows
would you buy this
would you buy this


Rotersand, "Would You Buy This", Welcome To Goodbye (2005)

Souls on paper

"And by the way, everything in life is writable about

if you have the outgoing guts to do it,

and the imagination to improvise.

The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt."

~Sylvia Plath

When the machinery breaks down...

Holy mother of sick nights. Blah!

My insides have been acting up for five days for no reason that I can see, and last night was the end of the road - spent hours running between the bed and the bathroom, playing hunchback of Notre Dame over the loo -I don't remember ever being that horridly sick without alcohol or migraine pain involved. WTF!

On the positive side my abs got a helluva workout :-D

I feel shakey as hell today and look like death, my poor Vegas is looking at a very dull weekend indeed... doggies are looking morose as well.

Bollocks!

Need to get my act together! Going to the drugstore now to get some probiotics, have to avoid acidic, hard to digest and fatty foods (jeez what does that leave) and see what happens.

/end of Voilà, That's All She Wrote Folks post/

On growth

All men should strive

To learn before they die

What they are running from, and to, and why.

~James Thurber

A huge thank you!

As you may have noticed (or not, if you're on drugs) - the blog has undergone major surgery and all this thanks to the lovely Chica, who made this dream come true in less than a day!

Please go check her out... not only is she an awesome blogger, she also designs and polishes up blogs via her Design Bug services. I found her by accident and it was fate, I tell you! Fate! :-D

I mean, I'd had this dream for over a year but had zero know-how and no idea who to turn to... a few clicks here and there and BAM, there she was - let me tell you, she's underselling her services (sorry Chica!). It was the best present-to-me evah!

The thing is, I didn't even manage to tell her what I wanted for a new blog cuz... I didn't know. I mumbled colours and vague concepts and threw some things out there and asked her to please just "run with it" and you know what?

She did. She spun magic.

She patiently tweaked and toggled and adjusted every little thing I asked for, it's like she could read my mind. Only she knew what I wanted better than I did... 24 hours after the start of this project everything was up and running. A day! Had I known about this I would have had it done months ago.

So here you have it, ladies and mens: the real me, finally.

No worries though, the content hasn't changed. I'll still bitch and rant like the best of 'em! LOL

/end of Happy Joy Joy post/

Big changes are in the air...

All I will say is "stay tuned", hopefully sooner than later you'll know what I mean. Sorry for the cliffhanger but that's all she wrote, folks!

On anti-climaxes

No not the sex kind, gutterminds ;-)

Work. Well, I got told I would get that pay raise effective October 1st (yesterday), am happy with it but not thrilled. Too little, too late you know? And I'm not really sure it will happen since I have yet to see a written confirmation... need to ask my boss to send that to me today. I dunno, it just seemed all so contrived. We'll see what really happens.

Then we ended the sales cycle having done what we were supposed to do, we rock, yet the past week was so stressful and acid and nasty that the victory tastes bland. Like, mleh who cares.

And then!

Frickin' Iron Man. What the hell was all the hype about?

After an hour I was so damn bored I picked up my book and started to read. Sorry, but halfway through a movie if I'm still waiting for the plot to thicken, for character development to happen or for an iota of interest in the story besides explosions, destruction of fancy cars and blatant patriosm, sorry but no. Giant waste of time.

I love Robert Downey Jr as much as anyone, and I suppose he did what the director wanted him to do here: be as sympathetic a character as the iron suit he wore. Cold, two-dimensional, robotic and boring.

Gwyneth as a sex-object servile secretary was so beneath her, she must be desperate for movie parts and is taking anything thrown her way.

I won't be watching it again and I certainly won't recommend it, unless you're a young teenage boy fantasizing about being filthy rich, destroying everything around you and bedding so many chicks you can't remember their names.

Oh and the war in Afghanistan? Leave it alone, already. The garburating media are doing a fine enough job of vomiting that crap all over our heads every day.

Movies are for escapism.

This one made me want to be locked up to escape the stupidity.

/end of Oh, The Disappointment post/

For Katie

"People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were traveling abroad." ~Marcel Proust

Industrial autumn

Welcome to October, and welcome to a new photo blog theme chez Bubblegum Snapshots - not quite sure what "industrial autumn" will bring but it was a cool-sounding title, LOL!

And we gots the goods.

Today also marks the beginning of a new sales cycle at work, which means both Vegas and I are wrung out like pantyhose left too long in the spin cycle. It's amazing all the damage continuous stress can do: heads are pounding, muscles are burning like acid, stomachs are a mess and our feet feel like anvils.

All this to hopefully keep our jobs for a little longer and make enough pennies to pay the rent and the credit cards.

Calling it the Rat Race makes sense sometimes, yep.

Speaking of rodents, nothing more in the mice traps even if two are still out, fully loaded. No more sightings or evidence of the little critters, either... Could it be possible there were only two?! Which are now dead in the dog food freezer? I was keeping them to fill a bag and show my landlord but so far, it's a pretty small loot. Should toss the bag, it's kinda creepy.

I just flipped over my wall calendar to a new page, this month is a little monkey peeking behind two carved orange pumpkins. Did I ever mention I loathe monkeys? Gawd. Stinky jittery creatures, even worse when you dress them up and make them dance.

Anyways. I forgot to hand over my rent check this morning, and I'll probably forget again tonight in my stupor.

Stupor. I like that word. Stew-poor. Mmmm.

Hungry now.

/end of Mashed Potatoes post/