Bubblegum Diaries: Consensus was: penises

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Consensus was: penises

From googling and from your feedback, the plural of penis is definitely "penises". Glad to get that question out of the way once and for all... *clears throat*

Moving along...

Never shop for shoes at the end of a day, jeez even I know that. So what did I do last week? I bought a pair of shoes at the end of the day. Oh wait, even better: I tried on the sample in the store and didn't like the color, so I had another colour ordered just for me - yep.

Brilliant. Buying mystery shoes.

This morning I opened the box, unwrapped the shoes (remember, I can't wear cheap shoes and I can't return them either, so I'm stuck with them) and they looked perfect. Left foot: hmm the big toe is a little tight but the leather should stretch, it'll be fine. The right foot floats in the shoe like a flip-flop.

Yep that's right, Miss Asymmetry is screwed! Crap! I had no choice but to break them in on my 30-minute walk to work, c'mon feet! Swell up! Please! These are supposed to be my "super comfy flat walking shoes for no-sock days"!

Ankle blisters hurt. Ow. Ow. Ow.

/end of Will I Ever Learn post/

15 comments:

the Constantly Dramatic One said...: Hey you have one foot slightly bigger than the other? Me too!! And yeah, the left one is a lil bigger than the other.

Imperfections makes us hoooooman =p; May 08, 2008 12:30 PM
Frank said...: Thank God, I have lost sleep for years wondering what the plural of "penis" was. Now at last I can have peace!

Finding shoes that fit is a pain for me, both literally and physically. I wear size 13, which means that any given shoe store only has 3 or 4 pair that will fit me, nearly all of which are ugly and uncomfortable :(; May 08, 2008 12:33 PM
Technodoll said...: CD, does it affect your ability to wear shoes comfortably though?

Frank, yeah I hear you... my man Vegas has the same problem (and foot size) and it's apparently even worse in the UK: no stock at all for big feet in most shops :-o Geez how tall are you?!; May 08, 2008 12:47 PM
Wayfaring Wanderer said...: That sucks about the new shoes.......and blisters are no fun!; May 08, 2008 2:41 PM
KA said...: Penises. Thank god that mystery is over LMAO
I must thank you for the daily dose of humor you always give me!; May 08, 2008 2:48 PM
Technodoll said...: WW, the shoes are slowly starting to adapt to my duck feet... but still. I'm an idiot :-D

Tin ma'am, through no fault of my own I seem to make people laugh. At me dammit! Ah well better to laugh than to cry! LOL; May 08, 2008 2:56 PM
jiminycricket said...: Thanks for clarifying!
You would not believe how many times the whole plural penis issue has kept me up. Err... wait...

Also, if there were swimming competitions where you had to swim in circles, you, Miss Asymmetrical, would be a winner!; May 08, 2008 5:09 PM
myself said...: Most people have one foot bigger than the other (or smaller, whichever you prefer).

And for the ladies, one boob bigger than the other!

Try ladies size 10 i'm frank...oooo that's a pleasure to try and find (technodoll has decided I am an amazon, I wish, but I haz big horkin' feet for a woman!) At least something that looks nice is next to impossible to find - those lovely dainty shoes that you see displayed in stores don't seem to be made in "clown sizes"!; May 08, 2008 6:22 PM
Valley Girl said...: Thanks for clearing that up! =); May 08, 2008 7:40 PM
Um... Yum! said...: I would suggest putting a Dr. Scholl's insert just into the right shoe, but then i realized you would be lopsided. Hm.; May 08, 2008 7:51 PM
Technodoll said...: Jiminy, and you'll be cheering me along clapping with one arm? You know, for encouragement...

Myself, amazons rule! So shush and come shop on my street - whenever there is a sale the answer is invariably "sorry, all out of 8's, my smallest size is a 10..." Fer true. It's frustrating sometimes!; May 08, 2008 8:07 PM
Technodoll said...: Valley Girl, it could come in handy someday... ya never know :-D

Um Yum, yeah these are shoes with a massage-y rubber interior designed to wear with bare feet... i tried little thin foot nylon sock thingies and lost my right shoe on the street! They do seem to be a bit better tonight though. Let's see what the blisters say tomorrow...; May 08, 2008 8:10 PM
Anonymous said...: So what you're sayin' is your lopsided! Perfect. HA!HA! Don't worry one of my boobs is bigger than the other.; May 08, 2008 8:43 PM
Technodoll said...: I wonder when we'll start seeing bras with different-sized cups for the asymmetrics of the world... now wouldn't that be trendy! :-D; May 08, 2008 8:59 PM
prin said...: How come I missed all these posts? Wtf? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

On the upside, makes for good surprise readin's in the middle of a friday night. :D

Yey for mystery shoes! :D
Or not. lol; May 17, 2008 12:51 AM

george carlin jewels

Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here.

The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
“When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!

And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National Institute of Pancakes: It reads, and I quote, “Fuck waffles.”

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.

I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.

Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin’ ready to hang himself.

If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

“No comment” is a comment.

You can’t argue with a good blowjob.

So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.

worst pickup lines

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I've seem to have lost mine.

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

steven wright wisdom

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

A fool and his money are soon partying.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

awesome country songs

rejected hallmark cards

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life... (Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life... (Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am.... (Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me .

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go.... (Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.

5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age.... (Inside card) - Almost lifelike!

6. When we were together, you said you'd die for me... (Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.... (Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?

8. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket... (Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often .

9. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday... (Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.

10. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but wonder..... (Inside card) - What the hell was I thinking

11. I'm so miserable without you... (Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.

12. Thank you for being part of my life..... (Inside card) - I never knew what evil was until I met you!

13. Congratulations on your wedding day!... (Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.

14. How can I say this.... (Inside card) - Your cooking kills me

15. Hooray..... (Inside card) - You're divorced.

16. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened... (Inside card) - Especially since you survived.

17. Congrats on getting married... (Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.

18. Someday I hope to marry... (Inside card) - Someone other than you.

19. We have been friends for a very long time... (Inside card) - What do you say we stop?

not the sharpest bulb in the closet?

A few peas short of a casserole.

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

An intellect rivalled only by garden tools.

As much use as a hedgehog in a condom factory.

As much use as a one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest.

As useful as a wooden frying pan.

As useful as tits on a bull.

Dumb as a stump.

He's got a mind like a steel sieve.

His cheese has slipped off his cracker.

His porch light ain't on.

If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.

Like a pair of children’s scissors, bright and colorful, but not too sharp.

Million dollar body and a 2 dollar engine.

Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

Room temperature IQ.

Was left on the tilt-a-whirl too long as a baby.