Choose your destiny

Alice came to a fork in the road.

"Which road do I take?" she asked.

"Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.

"I don't know," Alice answered.

"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Safe for work porn

Oh lordy... you know you're going to have a good day when your man sends you this first thing in the morning:



At first I was like "meh, whatever" but after 30 seconds I couldn't keep in the bubbling giggles, then the howls - man this is hilarious! Who thinks of this shit! ROTF!

*wipes tears from eyes*

Apparently I have a very simple sense of humour. Oh well.

Last day of the quarter here and work is mental. I have no idea how I'm finding the time to blog so if this place has been lacking intelligent content the past week or so, now you know why... urk.

So Vegas is going to a bachelor party Thursday night. I need to find something to do other than staying home tending to the dogs and picking my nose or I'll get all flustered and pissed off and stand waiting for him by the door with a rolling pin or cast-iron frying pan (might have to borrow one?).

Is any girlfriend of wife in the world OK with their man going to one of these boy-fests of horror?

Anyone?

My shoulders are all scrunched up from bending over the keyboard many, many hours per day. Arms are numb and the painkillers make me cackle. I guess there are worse ways to earn a living, like collecting garbage or gutting fish in a factory - hmm. This post sucks.

/end of I Badly Need A Shoulder Rub post/

Time

"Sometimes I feel that life is passing me by, not slowly either, but with ropes of steam and spark-spattered wheels and a hoarse roar of power or terror. It's passing, yet I'm the one who's doing all the moving." ~Martin Amis, Money

How to care for the village babies

Recently read:

Castrillo de Murcia, Spain, lacks a "running of the bulls" tradition, but since 1620, it has included in its annual El Colacho festival a "leaping over the babies." In late May, the town's infants are laid on mattresses in the village square, and people in red-and-yellow devil costumes jump over them and keep running, to symbolize the vanquishing of demons from their lives. [Spiegel, 8-28-08]

What happens when the fat ones trip?

*grin*

My favorite one:

The Nebraska legislature's new "safe haven" law for unwanted babies, like other states' laws, allows them to be dropped off anonymously at hospitals to discourage abortions (and neglect by unfit parents). However, unlike other states' laws, Nebraska's applies not just to infants, but "minors," because, said Sen. Tom White, "All children deserve our protection." In September, the first two non-infants were abandoned, as exasperated parents gave up on rebellious sons aged 11 and 15, and critics say the law could apply to those up to age 19. [Lincoln Journal Star, 9-15-08]

It's about time the gov'ment came up with a good idea! LOL!

Impromptu haiku Monday

Grey
Elephants, skyscrapers,

Steel graphite carbon

Grey matter, squeezed
Pregnant clouds
Grey

Speed Racer - what a riiiide!

The Wachowski Bros - Matrix trilogy, anyone? - sure know how throw LSD fairy dust in your eyes and make you love the trip, no matter how hard you try to sit still and not enjoy it - they sure got me by the (figurative) balls tonight!

Always nice to end the weekend on a high, I say.

Haven't seen it yet? Well, what are you waiting for! It's got humour, great actors, kickass special FX, the coolest racing cars ever, more action than you can shake a stick at and they even threw in a chimp for good measure:



This weekend has been strange.

Um.

I think I'm subconsciously trying to sabotage this good thing that we have going, Vegas and I.

I know, I know!

I'm an ass.

I often lash out for no reason and say the most terrible things, and then I feel like crap for ages after. I sometimes even apologize - somehow that doesn't make me feel like less of a shit. It's like there's this little monster inside of me that takes my good side, gags and bounds it then shoves it in the corner with a kick to the head, leaving the field clear for a little party of evil.

Who the hell sends out the invitations for this crap??

Need an exorcism before it's too late, before I cross too many lines and lose the best and greatest man that's ever walk into my life.

I know I deserve him - ME, the real ME. Not the little shithead persona that hides in the cracks of my soul and springs out at the most inappropriate of times. WTF, dude! Lay off! Get a life! Scram! Make like a banana and split!

I feel helpless, that's the worst part.

Help.

/end of Well It Was Supposed To Be A Movie Review post/

Working on new stuff

Quiet grey humid weekend, am taking the time to work on some new projects for the Bubblegum Snapshots blog - October will be labeled "industrial autumn" month, so please go check it out next week!

Also am requesting your feedback on the Snapshots blog via a poll, would be really sweet of you to go cast your votes. Am trying to diversify my life/hobbies and this one means alot to me.

Up until now it's been a rather amateur way to engage my spare time but I really want to take it more seriously now. Am working on getting the technicalities down pat so that I can finally take those shots I've always pictured in my mind... just a question of getting out there to see the world and then bring it back home on the blog, TD-style.

Tah!

Gabriel

"Millions of spiritual creatures walk the earth Unseen,

both when we wake and when we sleep."

~John Milton, Paradise Lost

Cloverfield

Oh. My. Jeebus. Lord.

What a fucking awesome movie!



And I don't really mind if I have nightmares, it was totally worth it. Alien meets Godzilla meets 911 meets Blair Witch Project meets War Of The Worlds = Cloverfield.

Now if I can somehow manage to calm my blood pressure down from almost two hours of intense adrenaline overdrive, I might be able to give this movie a rating. Like 8.5/10, but I might change my mind if I don't get any sleep tonight cuz of the nausea from so much headrush.

Consider yourselves warned!

Blogging... why do we do it?

Or, why do *I* do it? Am I talking to the world through this page, am I talking to people I know, am I just engaged in a long monologue with myself?

Good lord, next is "hearing the voices".

Walking home after work last night, I wanted to tap the young woman I was walking behind on the shoulder and ask her if her giant fat ass bothered her. But instead I'll do it here, being the polite Canadian that I am.


No, really. This poor girl was like a sadistic genetic experiment, I just couldn't believe it, quite fascinating sometimes how a person looks spliced. Her top half was petite-framed, small shouldered, small boned. Small boobs, flat tummy, trim and lean. Long straight mouse hair, small head, pale naked face and small wire-rimmed glasses. A perfect wallflower.

Then came her giant momma-sized hippo-hips and huge padded ass and thighs.

I kid you not. Ludicrous.

That girl was hauling so much junk in her trunk, she waddled from side to side on her skinny short legs just to try and keep up with the momentum of swinging saddlebagged booty.

Picture size S on the top and sixe XL on the bottom. Even pears and avocados don't look that deformed. Butternut squash. You get the idea.

Gave me an urge to stuff my face with salad and never touch chocklit ever again, she did. Merrr.

So yeah, I guess I do blog to talk to the world in a kind of anon way. Just wish sometimes the world would talk back to me a little bit more to balance things out. Or maybe I attract the mutes as well as the mutants?

/end of The Vegetable Lady post/

Happy Birthday Nat!

You know I can't sing to save my life, so I hope this will serve as a token of my appreciation for your undying friendship the past 22 years... Lord knows we've been through thick and thin and yet - here we are, bruised and battered like onion rings, woooohooo! I love ya, girl.

A groan and a grin

Last night was a blast!

My liver hates meh though. Breakfast was some ginger ale, that's what it's come down to now - hours of blabla, a bit of food, a couple glasses of shiraz and bam, I'm fetal at 3:30am. Ohhh damn you, acid indigestion! Ah well, at least I'm not hung over like Vegas is, he he.

But oh, it was super lovely - trendy downtown restaurant, twas packed and we hung out with some of our clients who had us laughing to tears, we really hit it off and new friendships are in the making.

Onwards and upwards, right?

Going to La Belle Province for lunch, been craving fries for days now and I've had enough, I deserve those hot crispy fat sticks of deliciousness, dammit!

2nd day wearing a dress and barefeet in summer shoes - beautymous.

Autumn can rock sometimes, no?

/end of Disjointed post/

(click to enlarge)

Yep. Un-hun.

Rejuvenation

Pretty amazing what a good night's sleep will do if it's preceeded by red wine, good food and the presence of a parter who understands everything. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without Vegas, who helps put things into perspective during the most troubling of times.

We have a Plan B of sorts in place now; no matter what happens at work we're a team and we will pull through. It's just a job, right?

Right.

*deep breath*

Today is for plowing through, keeping our chin up and all that bullshit. Prin, I might harass you a bit for survival entertainment :-D

This evening we have a "working dinner" of sorts at a trendy downtown restaurant, there's a tradeshow going on and, being sponsors, we get to mingle with clients, drink free booze and eat expensive italian food - yes, there are downsides to our job... LOL!

Dogsitter has the kids today so everyone's happy.

Breakfast is churning in my tummy, so starts the day's stress manglings. Crap! Deep breath, deep breath, it will pass. Don't think about losing your job and all those unpaid bills. Just don't.

Hey! Happy Hump Day, everyone!

/end of It Ain't Called Vegas For Nothing post/

Hot damn, I need to breathe

"One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown

is the belief that one's work is terribly important. "

~Bertrand Russell

Mentos + pepsi = my brain

If you're a nerd or know how to navigate through youtube, you'll know what the title of this post really means.

So, the plot at work thickens, as does the stress, the volume of emails, phone calls and the pressure to "do better, or else". The whole team is under the cocked gun and frankly, if this is what life boils down to then I don't want it.

All I want to do is to sell dog food and help people feed their pets better, is that so wrong? sigh. I seriously need a career reorientation, and soon.

*runs in circle flailing arms*

Vegas is back home in time for a late-evening dinner, happy to discuss "Life Plan B" with him. Better to be ready than to be sorry. I guess. I just wish I had some kind of appetite...

Fuck I hate not knowing what the hell is brewing, or where the ax will fall. Chop chop chop.

The big pie in the sky (or is that guy?) hopefully knows what he's doing.

Amen.

/end of Rabid Squirrel In My Heart post/

I am a child of the 80's - so what?

I know I posted this before, oh maybe a year or so ago but man. I just love it so much, I need to share it again.

Like peanut-butter and honey, mint and chocolate, sex and Vegas (he he), two of my very favorite things in the world in one package: Depeche Mode's "Suffer Well", set to Tron visuals of awesomeness. Who could ask for more?



Credit for the video goes to http://www.justinalt.com/

I needed this after today's shitty news (the promised raise ain't happening). I celebrated by eating a bowl of soup for lunch, followed by a coffee and a double-chocolate donut. Dinner? A bowl of broccoli with butter, some fried bbq plantain chips and some twizzlers.

I mean, fuck it. I walked over two hours today at breakneck speed and burned a million calories in livid anger and dejection. Somehow, a salad just didn't seem right.

/end of I Need To Punch Something post/

Hurts the ears less, yes

"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."

~Mark Twain

It's daymon

*rubs sleep from eyes*

Vegas got up at 5am this morning to catch his flight to Chicago and I slept through it like a rock. Half of me is happy about that, the other half regrets not giving him a goodbye kiss. However... The half that slept wins right now.

Saturday night we went out for dinner with the gang - my sides still hurt from the laughs, but my stomach still hates me for the food. Ghaaa. In the UK, buffet-style restaurants display signs that read "eat all you want" while here in the Americas, it's "eat all you can".

Big difference.

I got annoyed at paying over $45 for a plate of greasy fast-food chinese cuisine, one drink, zero service and screaming kids.

We came in, sat down, chased a waiter for 10 minutes to get some water, we ordered, they threw the food on the table and 45 minutes later we were done. What. The. Hell. So that crappy place is OFF my restaurant list, and I beg all Montrealers to never go there.

Hot n'Spicy, on Decarie & Jean Talon. Two thumbs down.

I guess this weekend was mostly about food, frolicking and a short walk on the mountain, in the fragrant woods that is getting ready to change colours and shed before the snow blankets us for a few months.

Anybody ready for winter yet?

/end of Need Caffeine Injection post/

Stealth cat

A colleague of mine shared this with us at work, and I have to admit it's one of the cutest, funniest things I've seen in a long time! Took a few seconds to "get" what was happening, but do watch until the end to get the best bit!

It's seriously funny! (no oxymoron intended)

And no, there's no trick and nothing "scary" in it at all, I promise you. Just kitty humour!

Just scribblings

Oh mi oh my, what a gorgeous autumn day we have here! Seems kinda indolent and insolent to be spending part of the afternoon indoors...

*guilty pause*

Just waiting for Vegas to finish hoovering so we can get some sunshine running errands in the neighborhood. Maybe grab a coffee on a terrasse somewhere. Am feeling quite lazy today, glad to be having dinner with the gang tonight (yey! no cooking or washing up!). We're celebrating two birthdays by stuffing our faces with asian food - I know, we're super classy! :-D

Spent about an hour at the crazy ethnic butcher's this morning, you have to grab a number when you come in: mine was 54. They were serving 24.

Oh lordy.

It's a huge, loud bustling place so the waiting sucked. If it was a bakery it would have been alot more pleasant, if you know what I mean. No staring at hanging pigs and displays of livers, innards and chopped-up body parts.

I decided to go sit outside for a breather and an older man came up to me and asked what number I had. I showed him my ticket stub, dejected and impatient (Vegas was waiting with the kids, pacing up and down the block).

Angel: Oh, here, you can have my ticket... I have to leave.
Moi: What?
Angel: Yeah, it's 41. Probably next one in line.
Moi! Yey! Oh! Gee thanks so much!

*rushes back inside*

Three minutes later, it was my turn. Awesome!

So, I shoved number 54 deep inside my pocket as number 41 got what she came for: bags of meaty goat bones for the kids, thick juicy pork chops for us. And some ground beef for chili-makin'. I can't find goat anywhere else and the other meat is half the price (and twice the quality) as the stuff in local grocery stores, so the waiting was worth it.

Pork chops are now marinating in oil, rosemary and lemons, dinner will be ready to go Tuesday night when Vegas flies home from Chicago.

Yeah, he's leaving again. :-(

It's the price to pay for him getting a job here like he did, which at the time was a miracle (it still is, when you think about it). If that hadn't happened, he'd probably still be in the UK right now. Gawd. The thought makes me sick to my stomach.

Gotta go, I smell ravishings in the air!

/end of Endorphins For All post/

Roooo!

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a machete to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"

To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a magnum gun and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"

And to this, ladies and gentlemen, I bid you a very good Friday night! ;-)

Oooo lordy

Um, could I look any worse? This should be my passport photo, really, half my face melted from lack of sleep and bedhead galore. Bleurrk. I need like three thousand hours of sleep to look or feel human again.

Bah.

I'm too old to be vain at this point.

And I can't think of one single interesting thing to blog about this morning, it's pathetic. I'll try again a bit later on today and see what happens.

/end of Sorry For Boring You post/

Think a little!

"Your grandchildren will likely find it incredible

- or even sinful -

that you burned up a gallon of gasoline

to fetch a pack of cigarettes!"

~Paul MacCready, Jr.

I'm frugal, not cheap!

On our way to work this morning, I was admiring my outfit of brand-name pieces and bragging to Vegas about getting the stuff for cheap but looking like a posh, while other suckers paid sooo much more for the exact same clothes cuz they didn't know how to shop or didn't have the patience to wait for sales.

What can I say, Deep Thoughts by TechnoHandy at 9am are not my forte.

Anyways.

It's a way of life for me, I get a thrill out of finding the best, for the least. I think that even if I won the lottery, I'd still be as frugal as possible to stretch that dollar, I like hearing that buck bang loudly. Why pay more for the same thing, you know?

Which brings me to explain some differences:

Thrifty: Waiting for your favorite toilet paper to go on sale, and stock up using coupons you had saved up to double the savings.
Cheap: Only taking craps at work to save on toilet paper.

Thrifty pedophile: Buying discounted candy in bulk after Halloween, Christmas, Easter, etc. to last for the year.
Cheap pedophile: "Hey little boy, want to buy a sweetie?"

Thrifty: Buying bulk boxes of condom when on sale.
Cheap: Rinse out after use, hang to dry...

Thrifty: Plan ahead of time, make your own snacks for parties using simple easy recipes.
Cheap: Sucking the chocolate off the peanuts before offering guests some nibbles.

I'm thrifty, not cheap. And I'm damn proud of it, too!

*off to make a cuppa tea*

/end of I Love My Dickies post/

For sisterhood

Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed.

If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes."

They will say, "Women don't have what it takes."

~Clare Boothe Luce

Hims home :-)

Vegas is back, a full two days before time.

It might not mean alot to most, but it means everything to me. Rough month. Rough week, rough day. Bleh.

All better now, after a lovely dinner of rosemary and lemon pork chops, broccoli and rocket salad and lovely fresh cheddar bread. Red wine. The kitchen smells like home again.

My heart is almost mended.

It's Wednesday, so...

Yes, I feel much better today. The hormones are settling down, the wine last night was lovely, it's warm and gorgeous outside and... um... I had a really nice phonecall from Vegas last night.

Moi: Sorry I missed your call, I was walking home... You know I always leave the office around that time and am deaf with my iPod.
Vegas: Well, maybe tomorrow I'll leave the office at that time too.
Moi: What office?
Vegas: Ours :-)

I think I whooped. Seriously. He was supposed to have customer meetings until Thursday evening but the person organizing things messed up, so he's not hanging around sticky Florida for nothing, he's got fish to fry in Montreal. Today. Yey!

Me, I'm not frying fish but I sure am catching mice with those traps.

Two now, and I won't be surprised to find more soon.

DIE! BASTARDS! DIE!

OK I felt terrible picking up those traps with tiny lifeless bodies stuck inside (their long tails are super icky though), everything's in a plastic ziploc baggie in the dog's food freezer and I can't wait to show my landlady the evidence.

It's not funny anymore.

It's a serious vermin infestation.

So serious, in fact, that I had nightmares about it last night - hundreds of those little bastards running loose in my home, squeaking and shitting and attacking me! And then I scooped up a tiny little grey puppy in the mouse litter, it was half starved and shaking and I wrapped it in a blanket and held it near my chest to warm it up, "I can't keep a 3rd dog!" ran through my mind but then I must have been a buddhist or something because I knew I was responsible for that life from now on.

I gotta lay off the wine.

/end of Yey! My Man's Coming Home! post/

Techno, if an expression could summarize your day... would it look like this?

Yes, it would.

Step AWAY from my cookies.

Love,

The TD Bitch

Sucky crap day

Nothing positive to blog about, so I'll skip today if I can. Please?

My head hurts, my uterus hurts, my back is aching, my eyes hurt. Work is messy, lunch was a crummy peanut-butter sammich, I feel sorry for myself.

After taking care of the dogs tonight, I am having wine for dinner then passing out. Hopefully.

BLAH.

Am I not?

photo copyright Technodoll, 2008

Am I not young?
Am I not pure, innocent,

A lily in your gaze?
Do I not hold the future of the world
In my delicate hands?

Like me, love me, or not
I only ask for my chance to become
A creature of thought, of poise, of heart

In this old world

To live my dreams, sublime
For

Am I not young?

The long road to better

"Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them." ~Jennifer James

BllbbbBLLLbbbaaaa

Just the kind of morning that turns your warm comfortable bed into quicksand. It's raining, it's grey, it's Monday. Bleh!! Give me back my duvet!

Caffeine? Check!
Foot heater? Check!
Blogging? Check!

Who knows, I might survive this day after all... sigh. Vegas leaves for Florida in a couple of hours and the week seems bleak without him there to inspire my waking hours. Of course there's email, phone calls and such but it just ain't the same. I can't cuddle with a text message.

Mouse traps still empty. Rats!

Either I have bad timing or the mice are cleverly avoiding the cheese n'PB snacks. I might have to bait the damn things with dog kibble if this keeps up. I even heard a phantom "SNAP!" as I was making my breakfast, I silently cheered, checked the traps and no mice, everything status quo.

I'm getting obsessed over vermin.

Yeah, I got thrills for sale.

Cheap!

Mind hopping... You know, looking back at my time in high school, when I was debating what to study at University ("what will I be when I grow up?"), it never occured to me that I'd be spending over a third of my waking hours pushing paper for a 3D software company. In an office. Emails galore. Phone. Pushing virtual money around. Wishing for fresh air.

Is that all my life is cracked up to be? I feel like a grain of sand on the biggest beach in the world, almost willing a tidal wave to come and drag me out to sea.

Just to see if I would swim, or sink to the bottom and land in an oyster and finally become something I would be proud to look back on in 40 years, when my journey on this earth will have come to an end.

That'll teach me to watch "Fried Green Tomatoes" on a Sunday night.

/end of Monday Morning Mind Blitzes post/

I broke down, m'kay?

Another BASTARD MOUSE sighting again at lunchtime. Blatant running across the room now, escaping through another hole in the wall that looks like a small crack in the baseboards under radiator #2. Dogs didn't even lift an eyebrow.

Suicidal mouse, fuck you too then!

It's war!

Got two packs of traps, baited them well with cheese and peanut butter, set them out in strategic places.

I can't WAIT to hear the snap of broken mouse necks.

DIE! DIE! DIE!

/end of I've Had Enough post/

Sunday knick-knacks

Sorry no paddywhack but last night melonhead did eat a bone and then proceeded to gas us to death in the livingroom - seriously, it made our eyes water and if you breathed through your mouth you tasted it. Retch!

So we kicked him out onto the balcony before we called the bomb squad.

A few updates...

Still no real news from work about a payrise. I'm supposed to see something at the end of the month (next paycheck), however I'm not holding my breath - why can't my boss just tell me what the fuck is going on?

Decided to ignore the mouse in hopes it goes away, removed all dog food and treats so it has nothing to come here for and stuffed the hole in the wall under the radiator with an old rag. If it bothers to chew through that, or if it's coming in through another way then... ah... yeah. Boyfriends are for setting mousetraps, right?

Among other things.

Like lots and lots of yummy ravishings.

Seriously, I'm the luckiest woman in the world - loved getting dragged into bed for an afternoon nap after shopping (ooh! I got a sweet new top and he got an autumn coat and sexy jeans) - whatever I did to deserve this firecracker I thank my lucky stars... reeerrr!

But then again, he's gone all of next week so if you average things out, we're doing ok ;-)

Vegas: I have a lollipop.
Moi: Seriously.
Vegas: Yes. Wanna see it?
Moi: *rolls eyes* OK yes, show me your candy, big boy!

OK this conversation didn't happen exactly like that, but you get the drift. Boy, this balmy rainy morning and hot coffee are really hitting my brain.

I've a ginormous pile of ironing to attack and dinner to make later (mmm spicy roasted squash soup), am taking it easy cuz the coming week is going to stink.

Amen.

/end of Life Is Good post/

Me, housewife?

"Nature abhors a vacuum.

And so do I."

~Anne Gibbons

Panooney warfare!!

All you wimmins out there will surely appreciate this riot of a post from my fellow blogger Zedder on vajajay itchies from hell - click on it to go read, OMG I bust a gut laughing so freaking hard!

*wipes tears from eyes*

I guess it's so funny cuz we've all been there, right? (boys, don't go read this - it really isn't for you!)

Expanding waists and shrinking genes

I got this terrific ranty email from my sisterhood friend Curly yesterday, I just had to post it... got her permission to cut-n-paste so here goes:

Had a meeting at my daughter’s school this week. The principal spoke to the parents regarding all the foods that are banned in the school lunch program (all junk food and the usual food containing peanuts). The junky list has grown though to include Kraft Dinner, pogos, etc. She said it’s ok to have it once in a while, but not everyday as many kids were doing.

I fully support this b/c the school is reinforcing what I teach her. Junk food nights are a must and great treat, but they are not every night. And at birthday parties, anything goes.

ALL the parents protesting and complaining were FAT FAT FAT and have fat kids. Coincidence? I think not. I was humiliated for them, watching them yell and scream with the blubblery arms flapping in the wind and their double/triple chins shaking.

The principal (awesome lady) told them that the kids need to get out more, eat better and/or eat less. Also she repeated that study that came out that said for the first time ever, the next generation has a lower life expectancy than us (due directly to obesity).

And then you go read something like this shocking article and wonder WTF is going on. Half the world is starving to death and the other half is eating itself to death. Lovely.

*reaches for morning chocolate Yorkie*

Um, yeah. In other news, it's so awesome to have Vegas back at home. Jeebus he was only gone for three days and I nearly lost it. Wonder what next week's gonna be like... he's in Floriday for five days, work is ramping up like mad, I'll be alone to take care of the two furries and *drum roll* it's that-time-of-the-month.

Did somebody say booze? Yes? Cuz, I might need to get wrecked or blog like mad to get through it, pick your poison!

Anyways. Friday. Must finish pile o'work.

/end of Fat Fatter Fattest post/

Embers

"So, like a forgotten fire,

a childhood can always flare up again within us."

~Gaston Bachelard

Help! mouse! or, god forbid, mice?!

Mysterious black crap under the dog's bed. Holes through the dog food bag that had been left on the floor. I explained those away, cuz who the hell has mice in a 3rd floor appartment in the city?

Apparently, WE do.

Last night as I was sitting at the table working on my laptop, I could have sworn I saw a small dark creature scurrying along the baseboards toward the radiator. I looked, saw nothing, crossed it off as an overactive imagination from an overtired brain. BUT. This morning, same thing except it was daylight, I heard a scratching sound and turned my head in time to see

THE BASTARD MOUSE

making a mad dash for safety. While the two stupid dogs slept and never alerted me to anything, not once.

OK I am seriously creeped out now and facing a dilemma. What to do?

I abhor vermin yet really, it's just a poor creature in the wrong place, so what right do I have to slaughter it with a barbaric neck-snapping mouse trap? Gad. I just can't do it.

Yet, if we somehow capture the mouse and set it free outside, in all likelihood the neighborhood alleycats will chase it down or it would die of cold or terror or something.

Help!

In other news I stumbled out of bed too late, got to work too late and am quite annoyed at having to spend such a gorgeous breezy warm summer day locked inside an office, specially when the next five days' forecast calls for crummy rain and showers. Mleh. Like I told Vegas, I guess it's movies, food and sex baby.

His answer: "w00t!"

PS: just had the brilliant idea of putting up a poll to help me deal with the mouse-in-the-house problem. I need to get something done by this weekend, latest, before those things start breeding and UGGHHH! GROSS!

/end of WWJD post/

Are you on my blogroll?

I ask, because I'm feeling super generous today... *grin*

If you're on my blogroll it's because I love your style, your stories, your writing wit and hey, you make my days a little brighter.

Soooo, I've decided to give each of you a special Technodoll Award of sorts - only I'm sensitive to things like personal style - pick whichever one of the three awards below that you like best and go on, put it up proudly on your blog!

Kinda like a constant reminder of your bubblegum stalker. He he.

*kidding*




And that's the kind of day it is... hope you all have a good one!

/end of Better Than The Gong Show post/

Gas up, baby

"The World is a book,

and those who do not travel read only a page."

~St. Augustine

OK I miss the clutter, dammit

Vegas hasn't even been gone a day and I miss his smell, I miss seeing his stuff laying around... it's not much stuff cuz he's a neat guy (in all senses, LOL) but still. Sigh.

I'm so smitten. Er, hopeless I mean.

/end of Itsy Bitsy post/

Freaky pee?

Um, if you go pee right after having a coffee, does it smell like a cup of java going down the john? Or are my kidneys just freaky?

*nose like a hound dog*

Vegas left in the wee hours of the morning for out-of-town work, he'll be back late Thursday... And I already miss him. Walking the two dogs in the pouring rain before breakfast didn't help my mood either. Cold water down my neck? Ugh! I was so demoralized that I took public transit to work. Imagine!

My face is sporting both a pink-eye and oily PMS skin. Awesome.

On second thought, it's not a bad thing for my man to be missing all of this - he suffers through enough of my nagging, as it is.

"The trash needs taking out"
"I feel fat, why do you eat all the cookies?"
"Can you please pick up all your damn stuff!"
"Stop buying me gifts! We're broke!"
"Your shoes look fine! Quit whining!"

I'd divorce my own self sometimes, if I could!

/end of Grey Day Need Chocolate post/

Ode to fried mars bars

"I used to eat a lot of natural foods

until I learned that most people die of natural causes."

~Author Unknown

Dirty mouth

So Vegas and I finally tried those Listering Whitening Strips yesterday, and we got a good laugh out of it! The experience, I mean. Ho boy!

Since he had never tried any tooth whitening stuff before, his initial reaction ranged from "Vile!" and "Creepy!" to "It's like having a hangover, only without the party!". I just grinned a plasticky smile and tried not to rub the whitening goodness off my toofies to see what would happen.

See, these strips are supposed to dissolve within 5-10 minutes and then voilà - not like the other whitening strips where you plaster a slab of waxy paper on your teeth and salivate like a rabid dog for 30 minutes, slurring and slobbing all over the place (been there, done that, never again). This stuff really is different!

First, I opened the packet and in the process, accidentally tore a bit of the strip in half.

"Great start!" beamed Vegas.

Um. Yeah. I was afraid they'd taste horrible but nope, very mild mint flavour that's hardly noticeable. 1 point.

Super easy and fast to apply. 1 point.

Not much salivating at all. 1 point.

In fact, after a few minutes my mouth went dry and my lips and cheeks started to stick to my teeth. Very annoying. Minus 1 point.

Easy to talk (and laugh) with the things on. 1 point.

After 10 minutes, Vegas' strips were gone and his teeth actually looked better after only one application. 1 point.

After 35 minutes, I still had goop on my teeth and gave up, had to brush and floss to get it all off. Minus 1 point.

Sooo the math is in the product's favour, I convinced Vegas he should do another treatment or two cuz for him, it made a quick difference and IMO, it's really not much bother at all compared to the other stuff on the market (yeecchh). I'll continue for a bit even if my teeth don't need any whitening, just to see if the strips will magically vanish off my teeth, as promised. Or maybe I'm just a dried-up old raisin, what do I know.

For the record, I saw the box kit in a Los Angeles Rite-Aid for USD $24, and drugstores here in Montreal charge $34 - what a ripoff! I mean the Canadian dollar isn't that much off par with its kissing cousin, is it? Pfft. I'm sure glad to have gotten a free box to try out and tons of samples to win friends with. He he.

They were giving away free samples like nobody's business at
free Listering Whitening Strips up until recently but I guess too many people became beggars, the offer is now closed. Bummer.

Anyways, I'll post about this again after a few more tries, see how it goes. Vegas is off travelling for work this week so maybe I'll have a bit more bodily fluids left over for the teeth strip thingies to work then. Nudge nudge, wink wink.

Oh, I am so evil.

/end of Gutter-Free Teethies post/

On art

"Every portrait that is painted with feeling

is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter."

~Oscar Wilde

Poifect!

Just a poke to remind folks to check out the vacay pics on my photo blog, Bubblegum Snapshots, feedback is much appreciated.... hard to know if you're doing well unless you get critiqued ;-)

A big thank you to my two top models, Vegas and his daughter Farley*!

*just a nickname

The dogs are grumpy and passed out this morning, prolly exhausted after the past few sweltering hot sticky days. Poor beanies. Nice and cool here since last night, thank the frick - slept gorgeously and it finally feels like autumn.

I like autumn.

I also like getting woken up in the morning by my man spooning me, all snuggled up under the warm duvet while cool fresh air caresses our faces and there is no reason to get up, no schedule and a whole day in front of us to spend as we please.

!Yes!

!Yes!

/end of Reeeeeeeerrrr! post/

In honour of my man

Two of his favorite things... a sexy badass bad guy and Kit Kat! In dark chocolate, too! Yeah, he's a simple kinda guy, my Vegas... sometimes.

he he

We had a busy chore day and tomorrow looks more or less the same, minus the stinky sweltering heat... it finally rained! Woooo!

Oh and poor Melonhead has suffered a setback, he's limping pretty badly again - f*ck! All this after the vet OK's him for more exercise - well that just messed him up and now we're back to very restricted walks. Plus he's had the squirts the past four days - just can't seem to catch a break with the big guy. Merr.

Tonight we sleep in a fresh clean bed - yummy! - and I hope Vegas behaves cuz after all his ravishings today I'm walking funny too... just kidding, I'm fine!

I love weekends :-D

Right now he's watching Heroes and I'm still not getting that show. Can somebody please tell me what the big interest is? I mean I get Corner Gas and Everybody Loves Raymond, maybe I'm just too simple-minded for this planet.

/end of I Wish I Were Smarter post/

Love my new Pink Betty!

OK yes I'm part-geek... Finally got my new laptop after weeks of waiting and I love her! Dell XPS in pink, what else? *grin*

Gotta thank my boss for this one, now working evenings and weekends from home just got a whole lot easier - sad, but true. Howeeeeever, I do get to have some fun too! Blogging and playing with my photos is a breeze now, this girl is so much faster and crisper, the screen is gorgeous and there are no sticky crumbs under the keys... for now.

Did I ever mention that I love my job? :-D

Dear Penis

Thanks to the wonderful Rodney Carrington for this gem of a Penis Song... always gets me chuckling. He's got tons of cool skits and songs on youtube for you brave ones. I love comedy! Happy Friday Night, everyone!

This world is disturbed

Recently read:

Former British glamour model Jayne Bennington, 31, says she spends the equivalent of $600 a month on treatments and frills to make her daughter Sasha, 11, into the beauty queen she almost was herself, according to a July profile in London's Daily Mail.

However, Mom has done such a good job that Sasha can't get work because she no longer looks like a child. Asked her self-assessment by a BBC documentary crew, Sasha responded, "Blond, pretty, dumb (but) I don't need brains." (At that, Mom roared with laughter.) [Daily Mail (London), 7-5-08]

The whole "baby beauty pageant" thing is so damn creepy, it gives me hives to even watch the programs denouncing this absurdity bordering on pedophilia - they're KIDS for crying out loud, not young fertile women in miniature bodies!

What's next, a category for topless toddlers strutting around in mini garter-belts and tiny fishnets?

*shakes head*

And people laugh at dog shows...

/end of This Is So Revolting post/

Cotton candyland in my ears

"Her hearing was keener than his,

and she heard silences he was unaware of."

~D.M. Thomas

When work is mental, you...

...take a break to blog anyways
...plow through and forget the innernets!
...dream about Genie
...stress, sweat, cuss, cry
...examine your hangnails while chatting on the phone
...go fetal under your desk
...hope blogland will forgive your silence
...pick a fight with the stapler, "just because"
...drink a gallon of coffee, even if there is no time to pee
...think of ways to win the lottery
...work? pfft. i love work, bring it on!

/end of Impromptu Drive-by Survey post/

How to eat marshmallows

I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry... maybe both at the same time!



The hilarious shit these Japanese Game Shows come up with!

A blog is for... well, me.

I feel like I need to censor myself alot of the time here because I don't want to hurt, upset or offend any of my friends and family who read my blog... I guess it's a compromise between "being myself" and "being acceptable".

My mom read my post the other day about me having had a bit of hard time with Vegas' daughter when she was here on vacation, and now I think I should have maybe written more than less to explain what really happened and minimize the misunderstandings...

But you know what?


I can't be bothered to tiptoe on eggshells wearing white gloves all the time, it's just exhausting.

So. Like they say, "those who know me know me well, those who don't can go to hell". Except my friends and family, of course. They're just out to git meh and I understand why - he he.

/end of Too Much Blogging Today post/

We got the green light!

From the vet surgeon for Dakotah's knee, that is!

He is fine to be home and to manage those stairs, albeit slowly, and his leashed walks can be back to normal time! In six weeks he can start running offleash again, with supervision. Whew! He has mild tendonitis and the bone healing is somewhat slower than normal but still, his knee is stable and we are sooo thrilled!

What a huge stress off our backs... Vegas starts travelling for work again next week which means I am alone to care for the two dogs, it helps immensely that both can follow the same daily routines and all.

/end of What A Relief! post/

White teeth and doggy knees

Remember a couple months ago my adventure with www.matchstick.ca, where I was selected to participate in the Dove Chocolate campaign and they sent me this giant box full of goodies to share and chat about?

Well, this time it's for the new Listerine Whitening Strips - yep, got my kit yesterday and it's gonna be fun! Not that my teeth need whitening, but am still curious as to what the product actually does so I can spread the good word (or not). I tried the whitening pre-brush rinse before and can't say if it did any good as it takes weeks and weeks of diligence and I didn't have it... besides, that rinse left a gross gooey paste in my mouth in the morning if I used it at night, not really user-friendly. So I chucked it.

I'll let you know how the experience with these "quick dissolving strips" go... they're supposed to melt away after a few minutes, so let's see. I hope they don't taste too gross. I have issues with having junk in my mouth.

Get your minds out of the gutter. Tsk.

We're off to the vet's again this morning with Dakotah (aka Melonhead), he's due for his six week post-op xrays to see if his knee is healing properly or not. Looks a bit swollen to me and of course he still limps a bit, but it's still 2.5 months until an expected full recovery so we'll see what the vet says.

If the news is bad, I don't know what we'll do... he cannot go back to my friend's place, so we'd have to manage somehow. Ghaaah!

*sips nervously at coffee*

That being said, we're both missing another morning of work, my head is still pounding after three miserable days (frigg off you asshat migraine!), it's again expected to be sweltering hot today (31C or 88F plus humidity) and all my clothes are either in the hamper waiting to be washed or on the giant ironing pile soooo it took me half an hour to find something suitable to wear, I feel like a lump.

Ain't it grand! :-D

Vanity amuses me... specially when it's me at 8am still groggy in my short silk teddy on hands and knees on the wood living room floor, scrubbing at a huge pile of melted dog crap while trying not to gag on the stench. Yep. Good morning, Montreal!

/end of I Love Adventures post/

Gazing inwards...

"Reality leaves a lot to the imagination."

~John Lennon

Snap back to reality

Sitting here with a hot coffee, trying to scrape the cobwebs from my brain before heading out to work - oh em gee, vacation really is ovah.

*cries*

At least I have tons of pics to keep the illusion going for a while (which I am posting in my Snapshots blog, one per day - like sucking on a caramel instead of chewing it). I have an aching stomach full of nerves, am not sure how to tackle the next couple of days without losing my sanity... why do people insist on sending you emails and requests after they've received your Out Of Office email stating that you were out on vacation? WTF?

This latte is sooooo good. Wish I had slept for more than 5 hours...

Ended up chatting with Vegas into the wee hours of the night after more emotional drama - gosh, we hadn't had a good deep talk in ages! Felt supergood and indeed, life is kinda back to normal for a while. His daughter is now back home in the UK, Melonhead is now back home with us, it's going to be a scorching hot muggy day and I'm sporting a headache... so yep, back to the way it was! LOL!

Oh and I took up crossword puzzles while on vacation - they rock! So OK I suck at it but with practice I think my muddled brain is starting to wake up a bit.

Either that, or I'm just avoiding reality.

Question of the day: Other people's children... how the heck does one cope? And can I buy the book?

/end of I'm Not Evil I'm Just Human post/

Check it out!

Am updating my photo blog, Bubblegum Snapshots, with one supercool seaside vacation photo per day for the month of September... go sneak a peek! Go on, I know you wanna :-)

Here's Vegas at sunset...