Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Overcoming dysmorphophobia

I can't be the only one struggling with this stupid game the mind plays: "you're fat! your elbows are too big! omg eyebrows, much? why aren't your feet the exact same size?" - yeah I know, first world problems, vanity, self-indulgence... Or is it?

Well actually, Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD - the obsessive idea that some aspect of one's own body part or appearance is severely flawed and warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix their dysmorphic part on their person) affects up up to 2.4% of the population, but I wonder how many people go undiagnosed if the symptoms aren't acknowledged or are dismissed? And how severe do the symptoms have to be to qualify as BDD? There's science, and then there's real life - most people I know (okay, most *women* I know) live with a level of  negative body image and I'm no exception.

Baring it out here...  For example, up until a couple of years ago, I always envied women with "boy hips".

Yup, the hourglass figure was not in style when I was growing up and being different sucked. I'm a tomboy at heart so heels and ruffles weren't in my closets much and I didn't know how to amalgamate what I wanted to look like with the body genetics fated me.

It's only recently that I've come to embrace my curves and the older I get, the more I don't really give a crap about being skinny.

Clothes don't fit? To the recycling pile they get tossed, it only leaves space to fill with things that actually do flatter my figure and let me breathe.

Our society puts way too much importance on our meat-covered skeletons, I mean come on - the pressure to be "perfect" is everywhere, most of us are brainwashed from the moment we are born and spend a large part of our lives battling with body image issues that aren't even real in the first place, all in the name of something that doesn't even exist.

Yeah, thanks a lot photoshop you bastard.

So, anyways. My point is that our bodies change with age and it's only fitting that our mindset change with it, hopefully in a positive way.

Ain't nobody got time for negativity, remember that: you are all beautiful no matter your shape or your size, as long as your heart is pure. Stay healthy in mind and spirit and your body will follow. And if people cannot or won't appreciate and love you as you are, it's time to toss them onto the recycling pile, too.

I'll leave you with a few interesting quotes:

What is this drive to be thinner, prettier, better dressed, other? Who exactly is this other and what does she look like beyond the jacket she’s wearing or the food she’s not eating? What might we be doing, thinking, feeling about if we didn’t think about body image, ever? ~ Caroline Knapp

The scale can only tell you what you weigh; not who you are. ~ Steve Maraboli 

The key to feeling better isn’t looking better. It is feeling better about our lives and better understanding what our bodies really are – vehicles in which we can experience life. Our bodies are not life itself; they are objects of motion, not admiration. ~ Rosie Molinary

Disclaimer: these are the only photos of me in a bikini you will ever see posted here. I force myself to look at them from time to time to remind myself that I'm fine the way I am, to stop saying nasty shit to myself - I am good enough. And I hope you know you are, also. ­čĺť


Debby@Just Breathe said...

((Hugs)) Our daughter has severe OCD, BDD and is Bipolar. It started in her teens and she is now 37. All the medication in the word doesn't make it go away. She is thin and beautiful but will never believe it! You are a beautiful women. I pray you have the strength and mind power to move forward from the negativity. God made each one of us perfect in his eyes. Love who you are!

technodoll said...

Debby, thank you for sharing her story and for loving your daughter the way she is, battling "invisible issues" is hard enough as it is. Luv you! xx

Hussard Hussard said...

Your the third physically attractive woman I see in the last three years, who as doubt about her physical. The other two had a eating disorder. One his 35 the other 40. I taugh, this was a Young girl problem. Why this lack of confidence? You get other woman jealous, and men upside down. Bernard.