Hell is brown

I feel I need to do a post "à la Prin" tonight... it's been one of those days.

Ended at 5pm, I stepped outside in the pitch darkness and to my dismay, it was raining. Not sprinkling but raining... and I forgot to bring an umbrella so walking home was out of the question. I decided to take the corner bus to the subway station, it's faster and 5 times cheaper than a cab and I'm frugal that way.

Well in theory it was smart....

Then starts the long wait for The Bus That Would Not Come. Rush hour people queuing up in the cold rain, how fun. 25 minutes later the bloated sardine tin finally appears, we all squeeze in, miserable piece of shit public transportation making my blood pressure rise - ghah!

Mercifully the ride wasn't long until the subway station, where the trains worked fine and I have no complaints... cuz I got to admire Mrs Potato Head standing next to me for a few stops. That was interesting.

Or she could have been a brown penguin - imagine one of those dressed up in brown? All brown. Brown shoes, brown corderoy 2-piece suit with a brown shirt tucked into waldo pants high up on the rounded belly, small saggy boobs pointing in two directions. Brown coat, brown scarf, brown bag, even the hairtie was brown. On dark brown hair. Face half-melted off her head, wobbly double-chin, beaked nose that kept on growing past its due date, a few moles, brown lipstick on thin sad lips and brown eyeshadow emphasizing droopy lids and baggy saggy crowsfeet.

In other words, a woman who gave up.

"Fuck trying to match anything! I'm a chocolate bar!" (nobody would associate brown with a dog turd, right?)

She was muttering to herself now and again, prolly asking Jesus out on a date or planning her next big bingo game. Sad, sad.

I got home and threw on pink pyjamas just to feel human again, had a dinner of cheese fondue with french bread and steamed broccoli accompanied by a glass of chilled rosé, then pigged out on a huge bowl of chocolate-caramel chip vanilla frozen yogurt drenched in Hershey's chocolate syrup.

This whale is going to bed soon. Hope I don't dream of brown hell.