But how do I feel?

...there's a reason i mostly post about stuff, and not about feelings. As much as I like to bla-bla, I'm a really private person and don't let many people "inside" - those who have known me the longest will attest to that. Even under the sweet numbness of wine or exhaustion, I'm constantly censoring a ton of stuff - my dark places are for my devils, cobwebs and slow-burning fires only. I really don't know how to describe it any better.