Icky flashback

I'm in a really good mood today, just like that - for no real reason. It's still gray and wet outside, Vegas has been gone for almost a week and is only home in four days, the coop is under anarchy and my roo Sunshine started another cold but hey! I feel great, everything is under control.

Maybe it was the hot bubble bath at 10am... such a treat. I should do that more often, eh? So relaxing! :-D

Right now I'm sipping a hot apple spice tea and watching old Seinfeld episodes, it's awesome! Oh, how I miss that show... Just getting ready to take the dogs out for a nice long walk in the woods to round up the afternoon. Woo!

I've had an icky flashback from my old life whirling around my brain for a little while... I think it's because Vegas is traveling so much and I appreciate how rough it is for him as well as for myself, when he comes home I want it to be as welcoming as possible so he knows how much he is loved and was missed - you know?

Well this one time, when I was with my ex (about two years into the relationship) I had been working my ass off at a trade show for a week, was exhausted and ill and had flown home on the redeye from the west coast - not a direct flight, either - oh, I was just sooo happy to finally come home, it was Saturday morning and I couldn't wait to relax, have a hot breakfast and sleep!

Nobody was waiting for me at the airport, so I took a taxi home.

And walked into a stinking nightmare of a pig stye. My place, that I had lived in and decorated and nutured for years, had been trashed. The ex had just woken up (it was 9am, people), he hadn't showered or shaved in days. The stuffy apartment reeked of stale, horrible things. The bedroom was littered with dirty clothes strewn everywhere, the bedsheets oily and smelly. The living room looked like a bomb had hit. The kitchen garbage was over-flowing, the sink piled high with dirty dishes, the fridge was empty and the floor sticky with gunk. The toilet hadn't been flushed and there was a fresh puddle of dog shit on the guest room floor. The dogs' water bowl was empty.

The worst part? I had a total breakdown, there was a fight, he packed his bags and left for three days. Never answered his phone or returned emails. Yep. He stuck me with cleaning up his giant mess as well as taking care of the dogs, buying groceries and doing the laundry before I could fall into bed on clean sheets.

I caught bronchitis because of this and was terribly ill for a month, lost hearing in one ear for six weeks.

OK I lied about the worst part... the worst part is that I took him back, I begged for him to come back. That, my dear friends, is the lowest form of self-loathing imaginable. You think it's love so you wipe it under the carpet, you excuse it away - it's not his fault, he can't help it, you're too demanding, it was an accident.

Bullshit.

I could kick myself for not knowing any better, for putting myself last like that - sigh.

Sooo glad it's all over now, you've no idea. Life now is paradise, it's real and it's really, really awesome. I'm loved and appreciated and valued and respected, and it's a very mutual feeling. I still don't know how I got so lucky to marry the best man in the world, but I sure am enjoying every minute of it :-)

Anyways. Just wanted to get that icky flashback out of my head so that the day is sunny again!

On a parting note, I went to get three new pretty ladies yesterday! Here they are below, let's hope they give us some babies and lots of pretty eggs! Woo! More on them later.

Guess which one lays a green egg?

Happy rest of weekend, everyone!

/end of Happy Is As Happy Does post/