Well. What a week it's been.
I get two nail-me-to-the-bed migraines twice per year, one in the spring and one in the fall. Both are hormone and stress induced - no idea why some are THAT worse than others but let's just say the nausea, dizziness, vomiting, fainting and stabbing pain that makes you wish you were dead are NOT pleasant.
Yesterday was the culmination of four days of pain, a crescendo of misery to put it mildly.
Thank you to my wonderful Vegas for staying home from work yesterday and doing my job of taking care of four rowdy dogs (and of me). Impossible to think of what I would have become if left alone.
So my big news:
Dog boarding has been quite the experience... unfortunately one we have decided is not for us.
It creates too much constant stress in our house and is a strain on our relationship: home should be a quiet place of rest and not a constant chaotic mess. We're both losing sleep, appetite and losing our joie de vivre in this adventure.
How do we know it's the right decision to halt this in its tracks?
When the phone rings for a dog boarding inquiry and our hearts sink, "oh no not another one". Yep. I have turned business away three times now as I just can't do it. And the calls keep coming.
So... It's not a failure, on the contrary: business is booming with very little publicity, clients are coming back and spreading the good word, the website is very active and if we wanted to make this business boom it would only take a little push.
Sometimes you just have to live your dreams to find out if they're really what you're meant to do - how else can you know?
I feel proud to have made this decision and feel stress slowly eeking from my system.
Sigh of relief.
I did it, it worked, but it's just not for me, not for us. I didn't lose anything and in fact gained a lot in the process. We have a huge dog park for our kids, a finished basement that we use and will re-purpose, we've met some really lovely people and will still occasionally board some cool dogs by friend referral only (we have a lovely guest for a week during the holidays, another one for a week in February and I'm sure others will return here and there).
So yeah.
*smiles*
The other side of this wave is that now I can fully devote myself to setting up my photography business. I know it will work (already have clients lined up) and I know I love it, am damn good at it and will only get better with experience.
One of the rooms in the basement will be my studio and I already have my office all set up. I will also travel to do location shoots, which gets me out of the house once in a while.
And what better way to meet people and influence their lives a little bit?
Ah, to feel useful AND creative: bingo!
Am super excited and again have Vegas' full support (team technovegas!), am brimming with ideas and projects and can't wait to get started! Today is devoted to catching up on stuff I've missed the past few days because of illness (laundry, cleaning, cooking, yadi-yada) and then watch me go - our little guest goes back home on Sunday and then here comes freedom.
Oh and another thing I've discovered by living the adventure: I have developed a passion for chickens and selling eggs.
Whodathunkit?
I am shopping around for a few new girls that lay unusual eggs (terracotta, blue, green...) and then will set about to selling those to friends and families so that the flock pays for its upkeep, that way it's a guilt-free hobby that brings me great joy and delight. Talk about a win-win situation :)
Thanks for letting me unload my thoughts, once again -
Happy Thursday peeps!
/end of Happy Life Decision Number X post/
24 comments:
I'd say I'm sorry, but I know I shouldn't. What a tribute to you and knowing yourself (and what your relationship, house, etc. needs) to realize though you love the pups, dog boarding is not for you. And hats off to Vegas for standing true by your side as you go through these decisions. A testament to the foundation of your marriage.
The photography business, I am sure, will be booming and will bring you much satisfaction and sense of purpose (but on your terms). From what I've seen, your pix are phenomenal. I could use a good photographer in June (LOL).
You could have quite the multi-purpose photo shoot: pix and fresh eggs to peddle. Who could resist?
Sorry to hear the migraines have been keeping you down. I totally understand. But now that you're feeling better, the stress of the dog business will be subsiding I am sure the house will be filled with the aromas of your awesome cooking and baking.
Happy Thursday, TD! You deserve it!
I'm sorry that it didn't work out the way that you expected but hey, now you can look back with no regrets. Getting guest dogs once in a while will be nice. And good luck with the photography - I know you will rock it!
Well, TD, I applaud your ability to learn and grow, both individually and as a team with your hubs. Sometimes, as you say, one must life one's dream to realize that it is not quite what was imagined.
No doubt the photog business will fly and soar, you are a proven artist with your camera & vision.
Bless you, pumpkin, I am praying for the migraines to dissipate and become part of your past : )
Kuddos for taking a chance in life. Sorry it didn't work out, but you discovered something about yourself and in turn, something else that is going to make you very happy. And might I say, you're so good at it! Hope you feel better. I'm sure now that you've made this decision a lot of the pressure is off you, and that will hopefully help with your headaches.
Congrats to you for making a hard decision and obviously the right one. You gave it your best but it IS alot of stress. How nice to have the occasional visitor and have your photography take the front seat to your success. You and Vegas have much to be admired ((((((hugs))))) You're my hero, TD
Good that you found out now that this is not what you want. Some folks continue on not even realizing how unhappy they are with what they thought they wanted. Good for you guys! Good luck with your photography. I always thought you should be capitalizing on that anyway.
While I understand that letting go of this might have been hard, I also know it's not the first nor will it be the last dream you'll let go of.
A commenter above said the photography "will bring you much satisfaction and sense of purpose"- really? As a person who got a coveted spot in a very, very competitive photography school and a person who is teetering on the idea of using it for money, trust me, it's not easy. You're going to be standing there for hours working with people you can't stand, working with babies you don't think are beautiful all while trying to make them look beautiful? It's back-breaking work, soul-sucking work.
Kennels are physical and demanding, yes. But photography demands so much from your eyes. Constantly. Hours at a time of being visually alert. As a person who suffers from constant migraines, that's a fierce deterrent for me in pursuing photography full time.
I'm not trying to be a dream crusher, Techno, but you really have to find a way to be satisfied with yourself before you get into another project. You have to get to know who you are and grow in yourself before you chase after another dream with unattainably high expectations.
You can be anything you want to be, but if you don't believe in yourself, you'll keep giving up right when it starts to get good. I love you, and you're one of my favorite people, and it so hard to watch.
Please work on being adequate just as you are. Please? Please work on knowing and believing that you're good enough for anything. You're good enough. You're strong enough. You've been through so much. Be you. Just you. And learn to love you even if you sit still for a moment.
I hope I wasn't too harsh... *hugs*
Kathryn, I know it's the right decision and it's a relief to admit it. We poured all our energy and funds into the business and it IS taking off so that is very rewarding! However it's creating a level of stress we're not comfortable with so that needs to be acknowledged before it makes us miserable. On to new adventures!
Roshan, thank you so much for your support! Am very happy with the decision :)
JM, dreams are for making reality and some dreams prove true, some change along the way and you just need to adapt. I feel it was a success and that's the important thing - learning along the way!
Surfergrrl, I hope so too... Never give up, never lose sight of your dreams and if A doesn't work out, you have B, C and D!! woo!
Jmom, LOL i'm no hero just a normal gal trying different things out until she finds her true calling in life... so far so good, no walls only doors and mazes. Each day an adventure :)
Heather, my sign is grinding teeth... waking up in the morning with a sore jaw and a headache = signs that something is not right. Once the problem identified it's easy enough to find a solution... am very happy to be moving forwards in this big adventure- thank you for your encouragement!
Prin, you're such a good mama hen :) I'm very content in this decision and don't feel like I failed in anything - how do you know what you like and can do if you never try? The business is picking up and making me ill in the process (back to grinding teeth at night, headaches, no joy in booking clients...) so it's a sign that it's just not for me. Now I can focus on photography for the pure joy of it - we'll see what that brings along the way. The good thing about doing shoots is that you get to walk away after an hour or two so if clients are annoying it's only temporary! Dog boarding is 24 hours a day for days on end... yeah, not for me/us. yay for new adventures! :-)
Sometimes in life, we don't know what we want to do or NOT want to do until we do it. Glad you figured it out and will not have stress days over it any longer.
I was thinking about you and your chickens today. I wish I could do this also. When I buy eggs at the grocery store...I always think about those poor factory farmed hens crammed into a box or in an overfilled hen house...they have no life and I think the taste of the eggs is proof. You are doing a good thing...you take care of them well. You rock. :)
follow your dream, see where it leads...
I am here to support you in all your ventures. I think you are making a good decision. Best of luck with your photography. Sorry about the migraines. ((HUGS))
Reading your big decision blog made me realise that I have a lot of dreams and rarely follow them. I really admire you for trying one of your dream and realise that it is not meant to be.
It is hard to find our path in life, some of us never find it but if you want to achieve your goals, you need to give it all your heart, which you did perfectly.
I am extremely happy to know that you are going into photography, has you have a natural talent, your pictures show us beauty at its purest state.
I send you and your husband a huge hug and please kiss the kids for me!!!
Busy Bee, I'm thrilled to be here and to know all that I know because I've done it... and yet there is still so much I don't know yet because it's still to be done. Ah. yes, happiness: every chicken matters :)
Daniela, exactly! we should start a chain! :-D
Just Breathe, thank you so much! I'll try to keep the adventure interesting with visuals along the way!
Supersharky, I should hire you as my personal coach and cheerleader! Wow! I might need to speak with you at some point for some joint projects... you polish faces so beautifully, I'm sure that would come in handy for some photo shoots??
Life turned a new course huh? Well I am happy your dream worked well and you actually got to experience it all. Its better than never taking the leap in the first place. You dared to dream! I love that! And out of it birthed new relationships, discovery of more buried passions and a clear head and a new path! Bravo to you! As always, I wish you all the sucess in the world!
WAY TO GO, SISTAH! i am so proud of your courage and fortuity to follow your heart. some things will work and some wont but if you dont try you will never know. lifes a journey and you are living it fully. with the support of your best friend, vegas, you will always do well. the doggie bizness isnt a failure... its just part of your journey and a stepping stone to discovering what makes you the happiest. you are doing just great, TD, keep it going...
the kind of bizness you create should be tapered to what kind of photography YOU wanna do. that will be the differnce between it becoming a headache or a joy. and guess what?
YOU ARE DA BOSS!
so you can do what you want.
yeahhhhhh!!!!
hope your migraines dicipate quickly and i KNOW i spelled that wrong... theres no spell check on these comment forms, eh?
chris
Good luck with the photo business. I actually think you should give the dog stuff a few more months before moving on. They would probably be complimenting businesses. Lots of times things are overwhelming until you develop new routines and procedures and once you get those down then things would be a much better fit.
Daring, thank you sweetie! Just because a dream becomes reality doesn't meant you're chained to it, eh? Onwards and Upwards!
C, yes all part of the journey - am enjoying every day! well except the migrainy days, those can fuck off :-D
Teri, it's nothing to do with routines, we got that down well. It's to do with the fact that other people's dogs in our home is very, very stressful, we lose sleep every night and get indigestion from stress and the chaos, it's not a lifestyle we wish to live. We had to try it out to know this, though, as our magic ball was broken LOL! All is good, we lost nothing but gained everything in the process :)
Ok, so you tried it and it didn't work out for you and the puppies got a big playground out of it. Everyone's happy :)
hey, you tried, and it wasn't for you..and now you don't have to wonder 'what if'.
you should think about writing too. Dogster was looking for a dog blogger or something like it - part-time and $$$
wow your life just keeps changing! It is so fun though, now you know what you don't want to do, you walk away with a ton of experience with owning a business, and you and vegas probably got major laughs from some of your guests!
To me it is all part of life and if you never tried it you would have been constantly dreaming of what it could have been.
Now on to the congratulations, I give you two thumbs up for the photo biz, you are going to be amazing! It seems like you will do really well with this. When I had to restart my business when I moved it was so hard, but it is slowly coming together and I am getting more customers. Congratulations again on your new road!
Curly, EXACTLY. Goal achieved, success attained, not for me/us. NEXT! :-)
Lola, could you please PM me the details on facebook??? eternally grateful!!
Lady B, I'll mail some express to London just for you!! Woooo!
Piper, thank you - means a lot coming from a pro photographer such as yourself as I admire your work greatly!!
What a great lesson you've taught us: follow your dreams, and if it turns out not to be the dream you thought it was, it was still a dream worth pursuing.
I feel this way about China! You put it into words very well, thanks.
As my dad used to say, sometimes it's more helpful to know what you DON'T want. And yay, you are that much closer to what you really, really want: the photography and chickens. Sounds so interesting, can't wait to hear more about your adventures in these areas.
Rooting for you!
Mutual rooting, my dear! LOVE learning about China and following you... follow your dreams :)
Post a Comment