Sunday, December 27, 2009

Warning: graphic pic below

I just put Blossom back in the coop, at day 25 all hope is lost for any chicks to hatch.

I had to open the eggs to see what happened and confirmed that yes, four chicks were developing, three of them were very close to hatching when they died in the shell.

I don't know what happened.

My heart is shattered, I feel sick with grief.
RIP sweet babies...

So much sorrow to deal with and no outlet... I can't help but feel like a failure, to lose four babies like that isn't normal - logically I know it's not my fault and things happen but does the heart ever listen to reason?

I'm a blubbering idiot, crying over shit like this.

Fuck I need to grow up.

13 comments:

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Poor babies, that is so sad.

prin said...

I hope you never grow up. I heart your heart.

I'm sorry you lost your babies.

Curly said...

That is so sad :(

Lola Smiles said...

: so sorry ...

Stephanie said...

Oh sweetie...I'm so sorry.

C said...

i'm sorry for your loss. poor babies.... this is so sad.

hugs

say a prayer for them, its all you can do.


c

Technodoll said...

Thank you all for your kind words... It's been a rough month and with this rotten cherry on top, it's a bit much to take.

The chicks were apparently 18 to 19 days old when they died, they would have hatched at day 21. Mama hen was too rough with the eggs and most probably gave them concussions. Poor thing was sitting on eggs for almost 5 weeks, no wonder. I feel so sorry for her, too.

Nobody ever said this hobby would be easy but dammit, why does it have to be this hard? You know?

*takes deep breath*

jaxjilmommy said...

TD, PLEASE, this is not your fault. There are things Mother Nature handles that we have no control of (but we have to believe it is what is meant to be) You are a GREAT chickie mommy!!!! The weather has been cold, chickie and roos getting used to their new environment, give it some time. xoxoxoxoxo You rock Chickie Mama!

myself said...

awe :(

Tonya said...

awe, i'm sorry! :(

Busy Bee Suz said...

Heartbreaking, for all of you.
Sorry...don't beat yourself up though, you did what you could do.

prin said...

If it's anything like the heartbreak of fostering, it does get easier. Not because we become immune, but because we develop stronger coping mechanisms in response...

*hugs*

Technodoll said...

I hugged all my feathered babies today and thanked them for being there for me. There will be other chicks, at other times. I just needed to be taught to not hope too much before hatching day...