Bubblegum Diaries: What. The. HELL!

Friday, July 25, 2008

What. The. HELL!

I just got my replacement driver's license (since my wallet was stolen Sunday) and OMG!! nooooooooooooooooo!

Was their camera lens warped? I mean, I know I looked like shit on Monday because of stress, heat and humidity but how on earth did they make me look like I have Down's Syndrome?! The bad hair, I accept. The rubbed-out eyes too. But my god - that is not my face :-(

The kicker?

I have to keep this one until 2014. I think I will accidentally "lose" this fucking license quite soon in the office shredder - what a horror. I can't carry that thing around for the next 6 years, I'll fall into a depression!

/end of I Give Up post/

12 comments:

Sweet T said...: Omg, I don't mean to laugh but hahaha! I think I needed this because this has been one hell of an afternoon, Thanks :D; July 25, 2008 3:33 PM
Curly said...: LMAO!!!!! Down syndrome???!!! OMG that was so funny.

It's classic, right up there with PDust.; July 25, 2008 3:37 PM
myself said...: Ah yes, well I'm tall right, and the camera is low, so you get every one of my chins!
woo hoo, like I need this?

Oh and that photo is also used for medicare to *ducking* and a new card will just net you another of that terrible photo...they won't take the photo again.

Lady out here let me see before she said ok to my photo for mine, with me, nothing is ever good photo wise, so I just said "whatever" and accepted it!; July 25, 2008 4:59 PM
Zedder said...: Sorry but...
LMAO!
Hurry up and lose that one too!; July 25, 2008 10:17 PM
Roshan said...: Lol Techno you have cheered up my rainy night. Love ur sense of humour.
And I agree with z28gurl...lose ur new one too.; July 26, 2008 12:28 PM
Vanessa said...: Drivers license pictures are the worst! I wish they would let us bring our own and say "please use this one" when we go to the DMV.; July 26, 2008 1:45 PM
Frank said...: Maybe by 2014 you can get a flying car licence.

In my current picture, I look like I'm about to murder someone, even though I tried to keep a relaxed face...apparently I just angry all the time.; July 26, 2008 3:04 PM
Anonymous said...: All of my license/permit/ID pictures look like prison/angry/bloated pictures, so I have learned to try to be mildly funny in them. When I took my current student ID photo, at the last minute I kind of moved to the side and had a really "lalala I see butterflies!" type of expression on my face, so now I can go, "See how funny my picture is?" and not feel bad because I did it on purpose. I usually make stupid faces in photos anyway because if I'm trying to look bad on purpose I won't feel so bad when I look bad unintentionally, which is usually the case.; July 26, 2008 4:45 PM
Sian said...: I either look drunk or stoned in my ID shots which, as I am hardly ever either, is terribly unfair I think...

Get some sleep TD!
*hugs*; July 26, 2008 6:35 PM
Technodoll said...: I'm kinda laughing about it too, now that I don't feel so alone! ha ha!

(( thanks guys )); July 27, 2008 11:39 AM
prin said...: Six years? Why? That's messed up.; July 27, 2008 11:42 AM
Its Just Me - Daring to Dream said...: I think you should accidentally lose it too. I do all the time when I dont like my picture. I've done it 4 times....so, you should too! *smile*; July 28, 2008 12:50 PM

george carlin jewels

Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here.

The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
“When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!

And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National Institute of Pancakes: It reads, and I quote, “Fuck waffles.”

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.

I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.

Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin’ ready to hang himself.

If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

“No comment” is a comment.

You can’t argue with a good blowjob.

So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.

worst pickup lines

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I've seem to have lost mine.

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

steven wright wisdom

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

A fool and his money are soon partying.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

awesome country songs

rejected hallmark cards

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life... (Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life... (Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am.... (Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me .

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go.... (Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.

5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age.... (Inside card) - Almost lifelike!

6. When we were together, you said you'd die for me... (Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.... (Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?

8. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket... (Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often .

9. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday... (Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.

10. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but wonder..... (Inside card) - What the hell was I thinking

11. I'm so miserable without you... (Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.

12. Thank you for being part of my life..... (Inside card) - I never knew what evil was until I met you!

13. Congratulations on your wedding day!... (Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.

14. How can I say this.... (Inside card) - Your cooking kills me

15. Hooray..... (Inside card) - You're divorced.

16. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened... (Inside card) - Especially since you survived.

17. Congrats on getting married... (Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.

18. Someday I hope to marry... (Inside card) - Someone other than you.

19. We have been friends for a very long time... (Inside card) - What do you say we stop?

not the sharpest bulb in the closet?

A few peas short of a casserole.

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

An intellect rivalled only by garden tools.

As much use as a hedgehog in a condom factory.

As much use as a one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest.

As useful as a wooden frying pan.

As useful as tits on a bull.

Dumb as a stump.

He's got a mind like a steel sieve.

His cheese has slipped off his cracker.

His porch light ain't on.

If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.

Like a pair of children’s scissors, bright and colorful, but not too sharp.

Million dollar body and a 2 dollar engine.

Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

Room temperature IQ.

Was left on the tilt-a-whirl too long as a baby.