On euphemisms

Oh man... fell on this Euphemism Generator last night and I couldn't stop clicking! Some fine examples included:

Like most guys his age, he wasn't above stretching the big porcelain dumplings.

Guess what I've been doing? That's right - rearranging the heat-seeking Cossack.

She seemed like a shy girl when they met, but a few drinks later, they were initiating the ol' Nantucket tower.

Shut the door! I'm flensing the cheap hose!

They found him naked in the alley behind the bar, dropping the trombone.

He he! Hours of fun :-D

Morning weather report: sunny and quite warm, had to leave the A/C on in the appartment for the kids so they don't cook during the day. Did I bring my umbrella? Of course not!

Afternoon weather report: rain.

Fcuk.

I took the day off tomorrow to enjoy 3 days of rain(!), I desperately need to rest and try to get some sleep. If I had to recap the past year of my life it would go something like this:

Break up with bf of 4 years, get through summer stress of work + tradeshow in San Diego, bf finally moves out, learning to live on my own with 2 big dogs & a full-time job, developping a relationship with Vegas, who then comes over for a visit, get through the longest and toughest winter of my life (shoveling out the car 9 times is no joke), deal with multiple overseas visits, love the UK wooo, turn 38 in January YUCK, Vegas finally moves here in June, re-arrange living space, deal with work stress of quarter-end, no vacation, new product launch, busier than ever, dog rips his knee and needs surgery, just when the tradeshow hell in LA is on the horizon.

Um.

I don't think 3 days will be enough!

/end of My Life Is A Freakshow post/