Monday, January 28, 2008

Cereal for dinner is perfectly acceptable

I'm living like a student - can't be bothered to cook up a Dinner For One after a long day's work and then tending to the boneheads so voilà, muesli it is. Miam. If I'm really baaaad I may have some chocolate later and a glass of pinot noir that needs to be polished off.

Also perfectly acceptable to crash at 10pm.

*huge yawwns*

Before I go, I'd like to share a "good one" a friend emailed me. I guess it's Part 3 of my rant from the other day, how today's kids have it so different than we did 30 years ago. Not better, mind you: just different.

Read on!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what, with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning... uphill BOTH ways yada, yada, yada!

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!

There was no email. We had to actually write somebody a letter...with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no frigging idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids' and the graphics sucked! Your guy was just a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and harder and faster until you died!

Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your a$$ and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire.... imagine that!

If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled!

You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980! Oh yea, and a seatbelt was Mom throwing her arm across your chest every time she hit the brakes.

The over 30 Crowd


Prin said...

I got internets just before high school project time. Remember when the Joneses we had to keep up with had the 28.8kb/min modems? They were lucky.


Go to sleep! :D

Anonymous said...

Seriously..I remember typing my high school papers on a typewriter. Do they even have those anymore?
And we had pen pals that we wrote letters to with airmail envelopes.
However, gas was only like 88 cents so that was good when you drove a 1974 Buick LeSabre convertible.

Technodoll said...

Prin, you're not in the over-30 crowd just yet so this rant is aimed at you, too! LOL! :-D

PrincessB, ooo! typewriters! i think kidnappers still use them. he he.

Prin said...

I have a typewriter. It's actually one of the first portable ones. Like a laptop, only clacky. :D

*clack! clack! clack! clack!*

Katana said...

I remember the 56k modems! those were totally high-tech maaaaan!

Anonymous said...

This is so true. We are definitely talking about the same things. I can remember typing my papers on a typewriter when I first got to college. And the internet what was that. Lucky Bastards!!

Technodoll said...

Prin, do you still have it?!

Katana, godbless but I think I skipped that phase entirely - was a techno-zero for so long that when I finally got "with it", modems were pretty decent.

1218, they may be lucky bastids for a few things but in general, i know we had it better ;-)

Jessica Maceda said...

Stopping Short!! My Mom did that to me allllll the time, I hated it!
Mixed tape, wow, brings back memories......along with Atari, the whole thing really!! I love tirades......

Roshan said...

Haha, love this post. I once spent an entire day on just dry toast & black coffee - nothing else, dry toast for breakfast, lunch & dinner & atleast 8 cups of strong, strong black coffee all because of a sinus problem.

As for the over 30s crowd, I sometimes joke to my trainees who are mostly 20-24 that I had to sell my kidneys for a computer back in 1996! And I use Weird Al Yankovic 'When I Was Your Age' song as an inspiration.

I've only had internet at home for 16 months now.... I used to go to a small club near my house every weekend for a few hours of browsing and/or at a place next to my office for an hour or so on most weekends. Sheesh! What a life!

Technodoll said...

Jessica, they are bittersweet memories though, aren't they? sigh. *all melancholic now*

Roshan, holy sh*t that's right! it's ridiculous how small and fast technology has gotten for the cheapest price imaginable! PS: he he - weird al rocks :-D