Well... this might take more time than I thought, so I'm happy to have started early.
After 8.5 years in this place (and having dragged a bunch of old crap in with me when I moved), I am purging.
Yep. The big one.
Vegas and I will stay here for a couple of years to save up for a down payment on our house so I need to make room for his things when he moves here in June, plus we are re-arranging a few rooms to fit what we can into this small appartment by using up the square footage wisely.
So I need to toss, sell and donate alot of crap.
Who needs bins of old letters, school scrapbooks, dusty cassettes, mounds of photos, VHS tapes and 80's t-shirts? Not to mention the hundreds of CD's, rendered almost useless thanks to Mister iPod and other awesome technology. The futon has to go, as do a bunch of shoes, kitchen things and knick-knacks.
I tackled ONE chest of drawers tonight which was full of paperwork... ugh, five years of paperwork... plus cards, receipts, tax documents, contracts, yadi yadi. I'm done two hours later with a giant bag of stuff to shred and another one for the trash.
Kinda sad doing this ruthless work sober.
Is this what life ends up as? Memories stamped on a brain and on paper? And when you throw stuff away, are we erasing a bit of us in the process? I found birthday cards from old friends I had completely forgotten about. How did that happen? I did keep the nice things from my family though - some things are too precious to let go of.
The worst was throwing away all the cards and notes from my ex. You spend so much energy in a relationship and then it doesn't work out, you wonder "what happened?" and yeah, it's a bit hard to cut those ties to the past... I don't think I've ever really done it before. I'm a hoarder and have kept every scrap of paper since the beginning of time but now? It has to go.
I need to stretch these wings and stand on my own.
The past is gone but the memories are a part of me forever and that is all that matters. That, and my new life with Vegas. A fresh start, a new me and a new "us". I want to spend the rest of my life with this man so I am giving this relationship the respect and attention it deserves.
Because you know what? I am finally ready to do it. My heart has been conquered and it feels awesome. It was truly worth the wait.
/end of Peace, Out post/
8 comments:
You are amazing! I think I will really be in a goiod place when I totally let go of all the things associated with my ex. Wedding pics, gifts, etc. I"m selling the engagement ring now, but it's the rest that will truly tell the tale! Good for you!
I too am a hoarder/pack rat. I try to reduce the amount of stuff I have for no real reason, but have a hard time letting go.
ps... one fawn Akita is more than welcome to come here ;)
I know, I know, dream on zedder.
I've undergone several different purges, it gets easier after a while. It will feel good to unload those misc things that do nothing but weigh you down. Now, if I can only get Cody to see things my way..........
I SERIOUSLY need to get rid of a crap ton of paperwork I've been holding on to for years.
Every time I start, though, I stop before I've even made a dent in it.
Blah.
If I had somewhere to go, I think I'd be ready for that too. Time to leave the smelly past behind so our memories can warp the events into good ones (somehow).
I am a huge pack rat too and I know how hard it is to get rid of things :( It does feel like letting go of memories, but it is time to make new ones :D
And yeah like z28gurl said, any extra Akitas are welcome to come here too (*fingers crossed*) :D
PrincessB, I am sharing the purging vibes with you, and admire the speed at which you are moving - now THAT is amazing!
z28gurl, Maika would be glad to hike on over to your place where her dream of chasing wildlife day and night would come true... but I cannot let my peanut go! :-o
WW, does it? I've only purged clothing so that's not too traumatic but paperwork and souvenirs and photos... ACK!
Deutlich, it ain't easy oh lordy it ain't easy - thank god for music to help it flow along though. Good luck!
Prin, your time is soon I think. You too seem to be moving along at a nice clip ;-)
HO, I guess it's human nature to collect stuff until it owns us, LOL! But the beanies are staying (awe! sorry!) however you know where to find me during your next visit ;-)
Good Luck! Purging isn't fun, but it gives me a sense of relief and renewal once it's done!
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