Between a resolution and reality, the gap can sometimes be intimidating... am trying to be good to myself AND to everyone around me, including work, it's doable however it requires more energy than I have at the moment. Had to call in sick today, am floored by the monthly migraine (no amount of drugs can take care of this one, I just have to live with it) and wondering if my feeling so flat and out of it has to do with lack of sleep at this point. I can't keep my eyes open. Forced a breakfast down - fruit salad and yogurt at noon, and a latte just now 2 hours later - no appetite, yet I need the vitamins, yes I know I need to kick myself in the ass, I'm still that flexible!
Going down my list of chores, slowly but surely, in order to feel like I'm doing *something* with my life. The sun outside taunts me "hey lazy chump, whassa madda wit ya?" and I want to punch it in the face. Shuddup mofo, leave me alone. Meh. Right now, I don't even want to be friends with my own self, nevermind anyone else. Fack!
My dad wrote a lovely email... asking me to come over anytime, spend some quiet moments to stitch up my heart. Sigh. Why I so much love a man I hardly know beats the hell out of me, I guess blood is thicker than water. I'll go in two weekends... hope for sunshine so we can take walks along the river. Water... so soothing. Which reminds me, I need to start drinking loads of it again to flush out the poisons, feel sticky and thick... off I go. Sorry for the bummer post, but I need to stay myself no matter what. I know you all understand.
3 comments:
Have you tried bananas? I get massive headaches "that time" too, and I find bananas help. Maybe there's a drop in potassium or something that causes it, which the banana would fix. Worth a try... Unless you hate nanners. :D
Heck, if you don't go to your dad's, I will. You can fish!
Prin, I'm having a nanner tonight and will let you know if it helps... and Matt, yes I can fish - as long as the gross black river eels stay the hell off my line! eeek! :-o
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