It's all about the dogs

Really, I love them dearly and wouldn't give them up for the world. But on days like this I'd like a break, just a day off once in a while you know?

Drove them to the mountain this morning so they could have some new scenery to run in and a break from the routine. Drove back home, spent a while making their food for the day and tomorrow morning, then washed up the mess, fed them, freshened their water and cleaned up again. Ran a few errands, ate a bite and then spent another 45 minutes grooming them (foot fur trim, nail clipping, whisker clipping, ear cleaning, tooth brushing, coat brushing). And then the mess had to be vaccuumed up and dusted off the furniture.

Now they're out on the balcony, staring inside and waiting to be brought out again to the field for their evening run. And of course later again comes dinner and washing up.

How single parents survive with skinkids, I have no idea.

I guess if my back wasn't giving me such grief I could be enjoying all this exercise instead of complaining. I dunno. Am just not ready for another Monday just around the bend, maybe that's why I feel so disconnected with the world and still "meh". I'm trying the positive mantras, trying to change my attitude towards Life and appreciate all the good things surrounding me (and trust me, it's a LOT!) but my heart's just not in it.

What can I say, I'm a not a good faker.

Patience is a virtue I just don't have much of. And then I get what I want, and miss what I still don't have. Maybe I just need chocolate therapy (right, Prin?) *goes off to hunt down chocklit*

Mmm. Tasty, fattening, I don't give a damn, I need something to replace sex and tenderness. I miss being cuddled, I miss being held, I miss having someone here to rub my shoulders when I feel like crap. The transition to living alone isn't all that bad, I mean I quite like having my own space and doing what I want, when and how I want it. But you always have to give something up to get something else, and right now I'm just not sure what I want the most. Crap. I thought I was done with the damn crying. Fucking hopeless!

At least I have the kids to pull me out of the funk, they deserve to go romping while it's still light outside. Focus on being a mom, TD, and everything will be all right. Everything.