Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Get the spatula, she's melted to a crisp on the floor!

Holy shit this weather is brutal.

Like, I don't mind an "extreme hot and muggy" day or two here and there throughout the summer but for days and weeks on end? Christ! This isn't India, we (and our housing) are not equipped to endure such sweltering hell!

We're living in an oven dialed to "broil".

Things we can't do this week:

  • Walk the dogs or play outside
  • Garden or mow the lawn
  • Enjoy a good book in the shade
  • Wear the same clothes for longer than 2 hours
  • Wear makeup or have any kind of hairstyle
  • Do any housework or laundry
  • Drink hot tea or take bubble baths
  • Have a BBQ or any warm food
  • Sleep
  • Breathe
Things we can do this week:
  • Endure heat-induced and-sleep deprivation headaches
  • Take cold showers five times a day
  • Drink liquids until we look and feel like beached whales
  • Bitch and moan about being hot
  • Sweat buckets
  • Stink
  • Spend the day hosing down the chicken coops
  • Pray no chickens die of heat stroke
  • Look and feel like shit
  • Gaze longingly at photos of snow
Hands down I'd rather be cold than be hot. It's a lot easier to warm up than it is to cool down (just ask the panting doggies!). How I wish we had friends close by with a pool! I guess it's the lawn sprinkler for me again this afternoon... and then maybe a nap in the basement, I feel like passing out and it's not even 11am.

And yes I had my coffee.

I am never, ever moving to a tropical country, screw that!

PS: remember to vote on the new poll and check out the latest dramah in The Chicken Diaries!

/end of I Want To Die post/


Busy Bee Suz said...

I am so sorry...I feel for you, the doggies and the chickens.
Will it end soon????

prin said...

I think those lists are accurate. Except that I haven't run my dishwasher either. Can you imagine the steam? Just the thought makes me ill a little.

And I ironed this morning too. Frack.

Posh Totty said...

hehe dare I say I love it and am enjoying every minute of it :O)

Anke said...

I feel so sorry for you and your critters... It's pretty hot here as well, but at least we do have AC and stay inside A LOT! Hope it gets better soon!

Anonymous said...

It's still cold here! I was wearing one long sleeve and a sweatshirt over that last night. this is insane! Oh, and we had another earthquake. This time I didn't feel it though.

Lady Banana said...

It's hot here as well, but not quite as hot as where you are - thankfully.

Mind you I have been finding it difficult even at 26c today!

Just Breathe said...

I agree with you! I prefer the dry heat of California.

Christine said...

I think a trip to Walmart for an inflatable pool for the kiddies (and adults too!) is in order!!
Of course their claws may pierce the bottom but maybe you can get something to protect the bottom?
Hope the heat breaks soon, we should be getting rain today...

Adventures In China said...

It has been raining and muggy here in my city, I am starting to feel like I am molding around the edges. I hear you, give me a desert over a tropical island any day!

Okay, maybe desert isn't your thing either, but, at least no rain! Ugh, the mugginess is the worst.

I feel your pain, chica!