Our little Phoenix, aka "retard" has crossed the bridge today...
I selfishly wish he would have held on a bit longer, but I know he had been suffering and in pain since he was born and it was only a matter of weeks before he passed away... He had lost his joie de vivre lately, he had been lethargic and his liver finally just quit. We found him with a fever this morning and there was nothing we could do to save him.
All I could do was show him how much he was loved and that he was not alone, I would not abandon him in his final moments. Sitting on the front stairs in the sun next to Vegas, I held his hot, limp body in my arms for an hour while he struggled to breathe, stroking his small emaciated body, kissing his head, hoping he knew how much of a difference he made in this world.
Because of him, a big chicken mill operation got shut down.
He saved thousands of other birds from suffering the same fate as he did, the neglect and cruelty and abuse - it's just disgusting what some people can do to animals. Zero consideration for life and it's all about the money.
I hope that asshole rots in hell.
All this comes at the tail end of a sleepless week and helping to unload 320 bales of hay into the stables at lunchtime. And now babies are hatching and I am too tired and heartbroken to find much joy in their arrival.
I just want my Phoenix back :(
Thank you to Vegas for being my rock, for helping me through these difficult times. Thank you to my sweet stepdaughter for being so understanding and so helpful.
I cannot imagine being alone in all of this.
Life... gives, and takes away.
I just want to sleep.
/end of Empty post/