Sunday, July 18, 2010

The circle of life...

I lost a beloved friend today... My eyes are bruised from hot tears and my heart feels hollow, I am trying to find joy in all the beautiful little babies hatching right now and I just feel numb.
Our little Phoenix, aka "retard" has crossed the bridge today...

Fly free my sweet, beautiful boy...

I selfishly wish he would have held on a bit longer, but I know he had been suffering and in pain since he was born and it was only a matter of weeks before he passed away... He had lost his joie de vivre lately, he had been lethargic and his liver finally just quit. We found him with a fever this morning and there was nothing we could do to save him.

All I could do was show him how much he was loved and that he was not alone, I would not abandon him in his final moments. Sitting on the front stairs in the sun next to Vegas, I held his hot, limp body in my arms for an hour while he struggled to breathe, stroking his small emaciated body, kissing his head, hoping he knew how much of a difference he made in this world.

Because of him, a big chicken mill operation got shut down.

He saved thousands of other birds from suffering the same fate as he did, the neglect and cruelty and abuse - it's just disgusting what some people can do to animals. Zero consideration for life and it's all about the money.

I hope that asshole rots in hell.

All this comes at the tail end of a sleepless week and helping to unload 320 bales of hay into the stables at lunchtime. And now babies are hatching and I am too tired and heartbroken to find much joy in their arrival.

I just want my Phoenix back :(

Thank you to Vegas for being my rock, for helping me through these difficult times. Thank you to my sweet stepdaughter for being so understanding and so helpful.

I cannot imagine being alone in all of this.

Life... gives, and takes away.

I just want to sleep.

/end of Empty post/

13 comments:

Vegas said...

poor little fella, he was such a gentle character. I shall miss him.

He was in a bad way, so I'm glad we made it quick rather than him suffering overnight.

He had a crappy start, a great middle and a very short end. The majority of his life was spent in happiness - you did a good thing :)

x

prin said...

Of all the chicken mill chickens in all the world, he is by far the luckiest.

*hugs*

Busy Bee Suz said...

Any critter in the world would be lucky to live their live with you. whether it be a short or long life.

I congratulate you for getting this far....I would not be able to handle all of the emotional turmoil. Really. I could not.

hugs, Suz

C said...

i'm SO sorry nikki and vegas... you made a huge difference in his life and i truly believe animals know you love them. let your heart grieve, then fill it with the new love of your lives, BD... and the baby chickies....


hugs to you both..

c

Anke said...

I am so, so sorry...

Candice said...

Aw, how sad... Sounds like you took amazing care of him and he was very lucky to have you.

If you don't mind me asking... What happened with the chicken mill operation?

Farley said...

oh thank you td! i didnnt know i was helping you THAT much the things we do are so fun!

Farley said...

the babie chicks areso cute!

Technodoll said...

Thanks everyone... Phoenix was our special boy and will never be forgotten or replaced...

Candice, the jackass was forced to shut down by the gov'ment, he had too many complaints stacked up against him. Hurrah!

Leslie @ Farm Fresh Fun said...

New to your blog and sorry for your loss. It sounds as tho your feathered friend was very fortunate to have found you. hmmm alliteration not intended. I mourned my hen Annabelle for weeks in winter. Farm life ain't for sissies, huh?
Other than this post, your blog has made me smile like few I've seen. You say what I so want to if it weren't for small kids and a farm business listening! ;-0 Hope you have lots of fun with your new Belgian beauty. I'll be back for updates!

Adventures In China said...

Techno, I am so so sorry. I offer my condolences and caring for him. I'm glad he had love before he died.

You are a hero.

Lou said...

Aw, sorry. Poor Phoenix. Some of the chickens are just so special aren't they. I still miss our lovely Laura thanks to the bloody fox!

Lou
xx

Just Breathe said...

I am so sorry. ((HUGS))