Monday, January 3, 2011

It never ends

Earlier this evening my sweet young rooster Cheddar died in my arms.

I had hatched him July 18th and as he matured, it became apparent that he had some kind of heart or internal organ defect - his three sisters thrived and he was just wasting away. He was destined to die young and probably suffered the last couple of months, he was always cold and weighed a feather. Poor sweet, gentle Cheddar.

This morning he didn't greet me as usual, he laid under the heat lamp with his head tucked under his wing, life ebbing out of his frail tired body.

I knew he wouldn't last the day.

Why I bother having pets when it hurts so much to lose one, I'll never understand. My heart is bleeding and I just want to scream, it's so unfair.

And Jack chose this evening to colic, five minutes after I let him inside for the night.

He gave me a good fright, at his age you never know how bad it can get and how quickly they can perish. I gave him banamine (prescription pain meds), some homeopathic granules, I walked him and massaged his tummy - he was gassed up like a helium balloon and after an hour of farting up a storm the cramp finally passed. He's fine now, thank goodness.

I won't go into details about the rest of my day, suffice to day it's been a non-stop rush - I'm physically exhausted and emotionally drained.

I'm grateful for my sweet supportive husband, my happy healthy doggies and the soft clean bed I get to climb into soon.

Let sleep wash the pain from my soul.

Good night.

/end of Of Life And Losses post/


ModernMom said...

Oh sweet girl, I am so sorry. Yours is a heart that truly loves to it's very depth. Hugs to you..

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I am so sorry. That is so sad. I know your heart is broken. ((HUGS))
Glad that Jack is better now. What a terrible day you had.

C said...

i am so sorry that loving your pets so much has to hurt you like this. and poor jack... i hope demain will be a much better day pour toi.

hugs to you...


blueviolet said...

I am so very sorry!!!! Big hugs to you!

Busy Bee Suz said...

I have a feeling with the large brood you have, you are always going to have ups and downs.
Lets just pray that the UPS shine so brightly, that you can forget about the downs.
Hugs. said...

ohhh, bless your giving heart nikki. when you love your babies you love with all of you. you cant help but hurt so much. im so sorry for your loss. thank you for caring for neglected horsies and such, without people like you, they would suffer. i thank God he put people like you here. He put people here on this earth with gentle spirits to care for these babies and it hurts so bad when one is lost, but he will also comfort you. thanks again....keep us posted on how they are doing....

Lady Banana said...

That's so sad, our pets become such a close part of the family :(

Adventures In China said...

My condolences, Techno. It is so sad to lose a sweet pet. I'm glad he had someone with him. *hugs*