Magic.

Images from some of my favorite movies of all time... they are magic for me.

And it's snowing again

Pretty unbelievable - and it's not melting, either. It looks like we're not allowed to have Spring this year after all. Boooo. Bad weather makes me do bad things, like eat two handfuls of Timbits (donut bites) and chocolate easter eggs. It's like my body is rebelling by craving sweet things - and I don't know how to control that. I know I shouldn't obsess over it, I'm in no way carrying extra weight or anything... but I do want to be slimmer for the summer. All this said while sucking on a chocolate egg. he he.

Once again, another uneventful day winding down... ooo my brother just called, he's so excited about the baby on the way! Hell, we all are, it's the first in the family! That kid's gonna be spoiled silly, and not just by Auntie Me :-) Still doesn't make me want one though. Kay gotta go puree a bunch of baby carrots and barley I cooked up for the doggies. That'll get mixed in with their raw ground meat meals now and again, for nutritional variety. Only boring sitcoms on TV anyways...

And their names are...

Colgate, Crest and Aquafresh!

Just another day

Weather: Super shitty 2C, windy cold wet rain - oh well!
Sleep: Rrrrr. Good, just not enough of it.
Breakfast: Two peanut-butter toasts and a glass of milk.
Mood: Dunno yet, fighting another dumb headache.
Love: Bi-dimensional, east vs west.
Clothes: Yes.
Where I would rather be: see photo below.

So did you know that Americans eat over 75 acres of pizza a day? I tried to imagine an acre of pizza and felt sick to my stomach. Imagine walking over that without any shoes on? jeeezus. And here I was, just about to have a cup of coffee... er, no thanks now.

Am still pretty excited about going to the Atlantic coast for summer holidays... Maine is such a nice cozy place, too. Gotta call for a cottage rental today, woo! wish me luck!

Bonne nuit, world!

Things I can't have

• Longer legs
• An intact family
• Eight dogs, at least
• A huge mansion in the country for said dogs
• Straight teeth
• Talent for public speaking
• A plan for my life
• And last but not least.... caaaake, glorious cake!

All kidding aside, those who say "the sky is the limit" have no imagination, there is a whole universe out there... it would sure be nice to finally find out that we aren't alone in this tumbling mass of rocks floating in the vast blackness. Sometimes I just stop and look around me and feel totally disconnected, like nothing is real? Not even my own beating heart? And I just want to crawl back into the strange world that is my dreams, they often seem more real to me anything else. I can go back to my secret places whenever I want... the sea, always the sea and flowing water. I wonder what it all means?

Smile!

What has four legs and an arm?
A happy pitbull!

Am I bitchy?

Hmm seems like alot of my ramblings border on the dark & boring... but I don't mean to! It's just a "whatever happens" kinda thing and the reality is, this time of year is hard. I'm trying to come up with summer vacation plans and all I get is a big blank, except for 2 weeks in California early August - and that is mostly for work. I love my doggies but finding anywhere to bring them along (cottage, camp site, relatives, etc) is very difficult and cumbersome, it takes away from the "hey let's just get up and go!" fun part of vacations, and it cuts down on alot of possibilities. They really are "kids", I wouldn't trade them for anything but... yeah, they do cramp one's style alot.

(a few hours later)

Finished a long busy day's work then hiked up to my chiro's for a treatment, his recommendation at this point is to absolutely, without question, get an appointment at the Migraine Clinic because there is nothing more he can do for me... I did get a recommendation for a GOOD massotherapist, and in two weeks we should have a new latex mattress... I'm really doing everything I can to get better. Now I need to call my doctor to get a referral for the migraine clinic. Check!

Oh and good news on the vacation front, bf had the brilliant suggestion of renting a cottage by the sea in New England, we're looking at Maine now, early July. Found a spot that looks promising and dogs are welcome... crossing fingers it will work out, I'll give them a call tomorrow. Really, since our talk on Sunday he's like a different man... and I'm not complaining, LOL! Life is short, I want all the beach I can get :-)

Maybe we'll see some kitesurfers, that would be awesome.

Bittersweet brew

Yeah, so what's your poison?..

Funny day, today. Got awoken at 2:30am by a stabbing migraine, took the strongest painkillers I had but to no avail... had to wake up my BF an hour later to beg for a neck rub (he is my angel nurse!), still couldn't sleep after that, then the dogs had to go out at 4am, then some stupid trucks had a party outside my window... sigh. fucking long painful night. If I hadn't had so much work today I would have stayed home in bed. Oh and to top it off, I'm starting my period of course. The gods are laughing it up today.

But hey! It's dry outside for a few hours, that's positive! My mom just got a cute kitten, she's so happy and I know it will bring her much joy - just sucks cuz now we can't go visit her anymore, allergies and dogs who love killing cats and all. All the more reason to move to California, right? Ha, yeah right... I'd miss all this cold rain too much. He he.

Tonight is chiro, looking forward to that. And seeing my friend SG again, not sure when she's back from her trip though?... And watching N cook again, she's like the Queen of Spices - dunno how she mixes and matches stuff like she does and oohh it's all so good! Me, I'm only good at making soups - but it is a talent, I heard ;-)

In Your Room

One of my favorite Depeche Mode songs, ever:

In your room
Where time stands still
Or moves at your will
Will you let the morning come soon
Or will you leave me lying here
In your favourite darkness
Your favourite half-light
Your favourite consciousness
Your favourite slave

In your room
Where souls disappear
Only you exist here
Will you lead me to your armchair
Or leave me lying here
Your favourite innocence
Your favourite prize
Your favourite smile
Your favourite slave

I'm hanging on your words
Living on your breath
Feeling with your skin
Will I always be here

In your room
Your burning eyes
Cause flames to arise
Will you let the fire die down soon
Or will I always be here
Your favourite passion
Your favourite game
Your favourite mirror
Your favourite slave

Cat pancakes

Nothing to lift your spirits like some yummy meow-mix! he he

So ok it's still cold and pouring outside, I lasted exactly 10 minutes out in the field - the wind was threatening to Mary Poppins me - and I just had enough of this cold miserable sucky weather. Came home to a lovely hot chocolate and then went for a quick tan session, am feeling pretty relaxed... I would actually love some pancakes right now (sans cat fur). Must. Resist. Evil. Carbs. :-(

Nothing much to write about tonight, just watching sitcoms while the dogs wrestle and play, playing fantasies in my head of eating hot crispy pizza, poutine or fudge cake. What a life!

Doh!

Did you hear about the blind man who went bungee jumping?
He loved it, but it scared the hell out of his dog.

And so goes the journey

Funny enough, the sun is breaking up the clouds right now... I might actually go have a short walk to get some fresh air before the next wave of rain hits us. And that canoe, well that's me right now - take from the image what you will :-)

Breakfast was a bowl of raisin bran cereal, morning break was a hot cup of Mary Twining Spiced Tea, lunch was a healthy bowl of fresh fruit salad and yogurt, and I'll have my spaghetti around 3pm.. that way the big meal has plenty of time to digest before I wind down the day. I can't say I've been productive at work so far (embarassed face goes here) so I'll have to get on with it soon... oh and i bought a super nice aromatherapy candle for my office, smells soooo good in here now... ironically the scent is called "thunderstorm" - hah!

Rubber boots

Days like these, I am so very happy I bought some good and funky rubber boots last year! The half-hour walk to work had me soaked through despite my umbrella: the wind just drives the heavy cold rain right under it anyways. I'm totally worn out... think I finally need that hot cup of tea now! And Happy Monday to everyone, it could always be worse! LOL

Are they fucking serious?

I'm an idiot. Just made the mistake of looking at the next 2 week's weather forecast: below average temps, hovering around 0C and nonstop rain, interspersed with wet snow. Are they fucking joking? Two weeks of rain and snow? We're supposed to be at 10C at least now, with flowers and leaves budding. Kill me now!! How the hell am I supposed to get exercise outside, and where am I going to bring the dogs for their evening runs? In Mud Puddle A, or Mud Puddle B? AARRGGHHH!!! I've had it with this motherfucking place!!

One can only hope and pray they are so very, very wrong. People can only take so much and crying puffs up my eyes, that's no good. I'm too young for botox!

On a more positive note, it's almost time for bed now. At least it's nice and dry in there and my colorful dreams keep me good company... Tomorrow will be met head-on with a smile whether I like it or not. Otherwise there is always coffee, painkillers and happy skype to be my panacea. Funny, as much as Mondays generally suck, I'm looking forward to work this week. Soft love, woo!

Tonight's parting words of wisdom: "Love cures people - both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it." -Dr. Karl Menninger

The perfect man

My dogsitter wasn't feeling well enough to leave his home today so we didn't have to take his dog out, which opened up the day quite a bit. Ended up walking the kids in the neighborhood and again getting mobbed by people (the sun brings out the dog worshippers, LOL), then ground up about 30 lbs of beef hearts and kidneys, did some house cleaning then hopped over to my friend N's for a quick visit. I'm dying to sink my teeth into a huge chocolate bar but seeing the food binge I've been on the past 3 days and also I haven't moved much, I just can't allow myself. I might have a cup of hot chocolate though? Sigh. May these raging hormones get it OVER with already, so I can get a move-on with my life!

I need another dose of heliotherapy, will go tomorrow night, specially since rain is forecasted for the next three days. If I can keep my brain shut off, I'll get through the next few weeks without too much trauma - blogging helps immensely, like one long crazy monologue (God? are you listening? It's me, Margaret! now that was one great book).

Also, laughing at yourself is good medecine. I can do that.

Big German Sausage

Airing the laundry

One thing I love about my BF is that he knows how to get me talking when I'm radiating blueness... he's pushy but in a gentle kind of way. And it all came blurting out... we had a long heart-to-heart and it was good to see I'm not the only one feeling this way. We love each other very much but on so many levels, we are just not compatible and have very little in common. This talk actually came up a few times before, but now it's becoming pressing to do something about it... The problem is (and he echoes this), I don't know if I'd be happier *without* him. I still love him too much and we're not fighting and life isn't intolerable... it's just that we're co-existing, waiting until "something happens" I guess. It's not even that we grew apart these past 4 years, it's really that we have different life interests and inspirations. We don't have anything to talk about except the dogs and who does what house chore. He's the silent type and I like to yabber away, I NEED communication and an exchange of conversation. I'm social and he hasn't found anyone here he likes to hang out with. It drives me nuts to go for a long walk and it's dead silent. He admits to not feeling really at home here, but he's not sure that Australia would feel like home either. It's so fucked.

Worship the dick

I am not even going to try to speculate what is going on there. Let's just say "it's a bit whacked" and leave it at that...

It's another beautiful day out although it's supposed to rain later - no surprise there, rain is predicted for the next 3 days at least. bleecchh. Still have housechores to go through, the car is in desperate need of a spring cleaning and later we have to take my friend's dog out to the park since he's not there all day. Hmm can't say I'm in a spectacular mood (thanks to PMS no doubt), but the mental loneliness is getting to me too... it's insidious like a gas leak, by the time you know you're fucked it's too late, the poison is there. I don't know how to change my life yet, only that I will have to, at some point - this can't go on. My mind is starving and I feel atrophied, my feet grounded ankle-deep in cement and I'm in the middle of the highway of life watching it zoom by.

I don't know what I'm afraid of, really... I have alot of support and love in my life. I guess I am afraid of ending up where I started, alone and stuck and broke, which is silly really - do people really go backwards in life? Sigh. It's too much to deal with right now... So funny. My mom knew all of this was going to happen even before I did, she's been dropping hints for a while now. It's like she has x-ray vision or something. I miss her :-(

Gotta go shake off this blue funk and start this day before the rain moves in - getting dressed would be a good start. I'll just keep myself super busy today, doing one mindless thing after another, and tomorrow will be another day and then we'll live through the next and then the next. As long as I don't let the floodgates open, as long as I keep myself together, I'll be OK.... right?

Sister night, hello...

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction."-Saint-Exupery

Erratum

OK just heard from my dad that he didn't want to ruin my brother's surprise, that's why I wasn't on the original email he sent to his brothers (my uncles)... I guess my little bro might still call - I would love to hear the news from him, even if I already know, I'm still in shock so that counts for good, right?

oooohhhh my stomach is KILLING me. It's inflating like a helium balloon and I am having trouble breathing, hurts real bad. Took three Tums and it did fuck-all. Goddamn chinese food, when will I ever learn? I was doing so good and then had to go ruin it with crap food and alcohol, a good two thousand empty calories and tons of fat. If only I had the courage to purge, but I can't go there, I'd rather endure hours of cramping and bloating rather than throw up. I wouldn't even know HOW to do it, to be honest. ow ow ow oooowwww :-(((

OHMYGOD!!!

I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNT!!! Oh my god I just learned the news from - get this - a forwarded email thread from one of my uncles! I wasn't even included in the original email thread that went around! Since this is the first baby in the family (I'm the oldest and my 3 younger siblings weren't breeding either before this) I'm kinda insulted, to be honest. I mean WTF, don't I get a call or a direct email? Whatever. One more bratty kid to endure at family reunions, oh lordy. It's not like I see them often so I don't really care, as long as I don't have to babysit - I'd rather poke my eyes out with a fork.

OK maybe I'm just too drunk now to appreciate the good news, or maybe it's the smoldering meteorite sitting in my stomach, burning a hole - ate too much chinese food and drank too much shiraz, inhaled too much second-hand smoke and the monopoloy game ended in a fight so that was a downer. Oh it was still a great evening, lots of laughs and happy yapping dogs, I just should have moderated the intake of MSG and NOT eaten that dessert because I'll be paying for it for two days now. uuughhh. Bloat city!

I'm obviously in no mood to celebrate the arrival of a BABY in the family, but hope my parents are happy to be "grand"parents now, from their respective sides of the province. Like I said, as long as I don't have to hold the thing or smell its stinky diapers, it's all good. My brother and his GF deserve this happiness and I am truly elated for them - wow! my little bro is gonna be a DAD, I still can't believe it, LOL!

I'll make a good auntie though :-)

Cuppa tea & ramblings

Ahh, finally some time to sit and relax with a hot cup of Lady Grey tea. Did the post office, butcher's, bank, liquor store, bakery, jewellery store and drugstore all in one fell swoop.... none of that is really tiring but when you get stopped and mobbed every 10 steps by people wanting to pet the dogs, asking questions, oooohing and aaahing, well it gets to be alot of work specially when the sidewalks are full of moving bodies and you're carrying loads of bags!

Plans have changed for tonight, my friend is not feeling too well (he has hepatitis and his liver flares up often) so we'll celebrate his birthday at his home instead of going to the restaurant. It's actually better that way, the dogs can all play together and we'll order some food and just chill out. We got wine, some lovely fresh bakery creme brûlées and I just need to wrap the gifts now.

I hear seagulls outside, makes you almost believe the ocean is not too far (they like to stray downtown, which is near the harbour). Now if only they wouldn't crap everywhere, it would be just perfect :-)

Sun, glorious sun

Yep, it's nice out there! Not too warm but sunny, so that's de-lovely... Slept pretty well, 2am to 11am is nothing to sneeze at! Just had a beautiful hot creamy latte and am just about ready to head out for an afternoon of errands. Just have to make the dog's breakfasts and slap on some warpaint first!

Oh and has anyone heard of the bees dying off?! And that Albert Einstein once said that if all the bees died, humans would follow 4 years later?.. I gotta investigate this one. Totally creepy.

To close the night

"I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you."--Roy Croft

Urban lions

Turns out my friend never showed up tonight or gave sign of life, so thank goodness I had brought my camera to keep me and the kids company! Geesh. Tonight's theme was "city safari" or something like that... I can't wait for the grass to get some personality though.


Even though it was super windy, it was an hour that went by quickly. Some kids were trying to fly a big red kite but the wind kept chopping it down, they gave up - or maybe the smell of hotdogs lured them home?

Got some laundry in the dryer right now (yay fresh bedsheets, yuumm) and contemplating a glass of shiraz, after all it IS friday... dinner was an organic fresh herbs salad with hardboiled egg and avocado, very tasty and chaste. I steered clear of the iced oatmeal cookies ggghhha it's hard, but it can be done... just have to keep the mantra up, "nothing tastes as good as being lean feels". I know it's a crock of shit but I need *something*, merrr.

Tomorrow's running list includes getting the car cleaned, getting my dogsitter's bday gift - we're taking him out to dinner at a supercool restaurant too - and picking up a load of beef hearts and kidneys at the butcher's. For the lions, not for us! LOL. So yeah it will be busy and hopefully not too ho-hum routine boring life. If I keep my thoughts in a bright sunny place, I'll be ok. And that place includes a beach on route 306.

Meow!

Five Hundred?!

Holy cow... over 500 blog hits in less than two weeks, under a very limited release? You guys are crazy, LOL! Guess it's a good sign then, it makes me happy to keep y'all entertained!

Spring explosion!

It always amazes me how it can go from cold and gloomy to warm and sunny-bright in the space of a few short hours. I WANT TO GO PLAY OUTSIDE! wooo! 1.5 hours to go and I am OUT of here!

Lunch was sooo good, we went to a portuguese grill called "Janos", super juicy tender chicken leg crisped to perfection on the 'Q, yeah ok it came with fries and I ate most of them but fuckit, calories don't count on Fridays. I don't want to live a life of deprivation either! Must. Enjoy. Occasional. Sinning. :-))

He he he!!!

"Good advice!"

Smooth Friday

I think it's going to be a rather quiet day, it started with a bad headache despite a good sleep. Right now I look like a dork sitting here with a "magic bag" wrapped around my neck, but who cares - the heat is so soothing to my sore muscles. Next is some wonderdrugs and I'll be fine after... would be best if I could crawl back into bed though. The problem with good sleep is that once the body gets a taste, it wants MORE! mmm hmmm.

Outside is steel grey again, only 1C but should get better as the day moves forward. Had a lovely brisk walk to work and am meeting my friend B tonight after work, her dog gets along fabulously with mine so that will be another hour or so of walking on lumpy terrain. Then... then it's officially weekend! wooo! And a pretty busy one, too... updates to come later. Right now I'm buzzing and in a half-coma, dunno how much fun I'll be at today's lunch. A coworker is having a baby shower at a restaurant nearby, we're about 20 girls from the company going - that is just about every woman since it's mostly men working here, LOL - it should be fun and tasty. Of course I'll be good and won't snack on greasy sausages and fries... it's not sunday yet (grin).

Early night

Not even 11pm and I am going to crash after doing some stretches. Mental fatigue translates into neck pain and the need for zzz's, specially after my broken night of sleep yesterday. Gonna take a muscle relaxant, even my jaw hurts... it's where stress often hits. Shower can wait until the morning, it's not like anybody's gonna go sniff me from head to toe, right? That's what dreams are for :-)

Big sausage pizza

Mmmm would love to dig into a big juicy sausage pizza but... no, I am being a good girl. Had very reasonable food intake today and will finish off with crisp cucumber slices to slake my thirst. Am getting some really nice tan lines now, those short shots of bright warm light are a life-saver - feeling so much better now! (grin)

I need to go grind up a batch of sunflower seeds for the kids, it adds good vitamins and protein to their raw food. Since my friend took them for the afternoon, I had an "evening off" which was more than welcome - I stopped at a shoe store on my way home from work and tried on the most delicious pair of sexxxy red high-heeled shoes, oh man they were HOT! but the heel was just too high and there was just no way I could wear them for more than 5 minutes without limping. I just wish the fashion gurus would realise "hey not all women can wear 4" stilts and not all want to wear granny clogs either". For fuck's sake, give us a middle!! A gorgeous sexy shoe with 2, max 3" heels would be nice, for example - is it that difficult?!

Apparently, it is.

Gotta love Ze Austrians!

All that's missing are the sexy lederhosen!

Cotton head

How is it that it can take me hours to fall asleep at night, but in the morning when I need to get up for work, I can be sitting in my bed and not even notice leaning back and submerging into unconsciousness in less than 5 seconds? waaaah! I need to get the t-shirt: "not a morning person", grumble grumble. The brisk walk to work felt good, as usual, work is steady but not mental, I'm having lunch with my boss and hope whatever he has to say isn't bad news. I don't really like these one-on-ones, to be honest. Nervous now.

11am and some idiot heated up her lunch (the microwave is two steps from my office), it smells like fried chicken everywhere now - my stomach is grumbling so bad it's like a liver massage. I forgot my banana at home and will have to make tea or something. I really love not feeling squeezed into my pants and since this is only the beginning of the journey, I need to instill good habits sooner rather than later... tea, not fried chicken! LOL. It's not about the weight, it's about looking and feeling healthy. wooo!

Current smell on my neck: Incanto Charms by Salvatore Ferragamo. rrreeerrrr! love, love, love it.

4:30am blurb

Note to self: never ever let your dogs chew on a freshly killed field mouse.

Mouse juice apparently contains enough crap to make said dog shit in the house at 4:30am. I should really invest in a gas mask, gagging is counterproductive to sleeping.

AAAGGHHHHH!

Random things I love

• The smell of fresh-baked bread
• A perfect mattress
• Hot toast with peanut butter and a glass of orange juice
• Saturday mornings
• Fresh warm laundry
• Finding stuff I thought I had lost
• Apple trees in full spring bloom
• The sound of crickets on a warm summer night
• Fires on the beach
• New shoes
• Wild rocky beaches and crashing waves
• Hot spicy soup in the winter
• Long hot bubbly showers
• Autumn hikes in the woods with my dogs

Another broken sign

I guess dead ones are not allowed to have any fun.

Of wind and kites

Wooo-eeee, the wind is brutal out there. Bites you in the face. Just had a 1.5 hour walk with the dogs out in the field and witnessed the murder of a poor field mouse (my dogs are officially killers now), they thought it was a cool furry piece of chewing gum :-( RIP poor little one.

Feeling kinda mellow right now, just caught up with my friend SG's blog and feeling all inspired again - I love that girl! We have alot to catch up with when she's back in town - well she'll talk I'll listen :-) My life is too straight to cause much sparks. Still on that dirt road, still barefoot and watching the minutes tick by as I stand there, idle. I'm hoping to see a kite in the sky, to brighten all the blue inside my heart. A nice big red kite.

Aliens strike again

But we have our defense mechanisms well in place. Aim twice, shoot once.

Fuel

Today's fuel: bright sunlight showing off the first shades of my new tanned self, is that a freckle I see? :-D Healthy cereal and a multivitamin, a brisk walk to work, nice curls today, tight jeans and heels, slept well - it's all good. I feel in control, strong and smart - not a bad combo at all! Specially considering it's PMS week, ie Bitch With Lipstick. he he.

I'm also weaning myself off the nightly glass of red wine and daily coffee, am finding I just don't have those cravings much anymore. I wonder if it's all connected?..

Work is heavy this week but it's therapeutic, keeps me putting one foot in front of the other so I'm not tempted to wander around in circles so much. I'm still battling with "life path" questions and feeling like this city is too small, I feel pulled towards the ocean but I know it's not time yet. Things will happen of their own volition, pushed along by the hand of Fate... if she wants it. I can't question her anymore, it just leads to headaches and misery. It's like the saying "What's the best way to eat an elephant?" "One bite at a time". Hallelujah.

Closing thought for today

Love asks me no questions,
And gives me endless support.
~ William Shakespeare ~

Blissful heliotherapy!

Ahhh... that felt sooo good! Just a few minutes at the tanning salon and I feel like a new person! wooo! That, and almost two hours of walking today, has boosted my spirits so that I can *almost* ignore the persistent headache... or at least learn to live with it. Watching "American Idol" right now GO Melinda Doolittle GO!! the dogs are fed and the dishes done, dessert is a sweet juicy orange and then time for a scrubbing hot shower to wash this day away. Oh good lord the beatbox boy is murdering a The Cure song! nooo! he is signing his death warrant, this is just about the most horrible performance this show has ever seen - yikes man. Get with it. Paula is on drugs again. My dogs just gave me a faceful of kisses and licked my computer screen. ghhaaah!

Peeking sun

Looks like the clouds are starting to break up, which is a welcome relief... 10C right now, I'm hoping it holds until I can get the dogs out for a run. Not freezing, for once, will be bliss! Am sitting with a warm bean-bag wrapped around my neck, my god it stinks like old cereal but it feels good, relaxes muscles and lets me stretch the kinks out. Next step is a Tylenol and I'll be right as rain!

I'm truly lucky to be surrounded by such great people, friends close and far, as well as family. I've never felt like I don't have a net, that if I fall I'll get trampled on. Just wanted to put that out there in case anyone wondered ;-)

Back to the grinder...

Laughter, the best medecine

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes. he he!

This is my life

Right now, I am here with no shoes on:


It's peaceful, safe, clean and orderly, not a bad place to be... but it is what it is. Steady. Straight road ahead, one foot in front of the other in a mindless drone, wishing so badly for a gentle curve in the road, a hill, a warm breeze. My feet are getting numb and I feel a great urge to just lie down in the road, walking is leading me in circles... It would be nice to have a map or a compass, to be honest. I feel so lost sometimes.

Aurore, l'Enfant Martyre

Of all the movies I could watch tonight... I am a freaking masochist. Am watching the remake of Aurore (wanted to compare it to the 1952 movie, which I saw when I was about 12 years old and which completely traumatized me). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aurore_(2005_film) What a fucked up piece of work. I guess it's traumatic because it really happened, and in a way it happened to us as kids. But I still have to see this movie for artistic purposes, its great local actors and to appreciate all the beauty and love in today's world. We've come a long way, baby.

...later, after a hot shower and floor stretches, comfy in my jammies -

So I put my little girl on mega-doses of Glucosamine & Chondroitin (2 tablets per day), it's been almost two months now and there *is* a difference - woo! her back legs don't seem so stiff and sore anymore, I am seeing greater flexibility in her overall movements and she seems happier. Maybe I should take some too, might help with the neck?! Something to ponder. Gotta find either liquid or chewable form though, since I can't swallow pills (another one of my endearing qualities).

Tonight's parting quote: If you have it [Love], you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have. ~ Sir James M. Barrie

Chocolate easter eggs

We all know rabbits don't lay eggs!

Greens, to fight the blues

Broccoli is a perfectly good dinner, right? Lots of warmth and vitamins for happy energy, lord knows I need to find something to fight the shitty blues - it's not like the sun's gonna come out and burn it all away. And I'll even throw in some chocolate cake for dessert, every woman needs some chocolate once in a while. Tawaaanda! :-)

I'm eating better these days, exercising more and slimming down, which is encouraging. And I might start taking in some doses of artificial sun to make my freckles come out - I heard the warm light does wonders for the mood, too. So I'm not moaning and bitching about it and doing nothing, you know? Just stuck in a momentary rut... spinning my wheels and flinging mud everywhere. Plastering a smile on my face, oh Yes I'm fine, thank you for asking... "fake it 'till you make it" kinda thing. BLAH.

At least I can blame it on PMS ;-)

Little Johnny

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father.

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3, I said "6", replies Little Johnny.

"But that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2?"

"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.

"That's what I said!"

Meerrrr.

This is where I want to be. Just the sound of crickets and rustling trees, my dogs romping and running and just "being". I can smell the clean air and flowers, hear the drone of worker bees, feel the warm air on my skin... if only that cloud wasn't so phallic, it would be perfect.

Can someone please explain!

OK Mondays are hard enough as it is. Why make them gray, wet, windy and cold, to boot? I mean is that really necessary? GAWD. Am not in a very good mood this morning, had strange disturbing dreams again (being kissed by the devil and my soul sucked out of my body?! WTF is that all about?) and am left wondering why I bother. I mean I'm just wasting my life away here, pushing paper trapped inside four walls, paying rent on a creaky place I'm sick and tired of, waiting and waiting for... something to finally happen. No idea what that "something" is, I feel as lost now as I did 10 years ago and that is VERY scary. It's like the best years of my life are dwindling down to the end and I did fuck-all with them - if I were flexible enough, I'd kick myself in my own ass. Twice.

If only life could be reversed, I'd be in a great spot right now:

You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.
Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're too young to work.
You get ready for college:: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.
Then in high school: do similar as college and prepare for primary school.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and then...
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then...
You finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.

Now playing

This new compilation is suprisingly GOOD. Totally refreshing, smooth, deep, droning trance and then breakbeats, all the bass and melodies you could wish for. Not a dull moment on either disk. Gets my vote!

Sun on my face

Finally, a gorgeous spring day... 6C but feels so much warmer in the beautiful sun! We took the clean fluffy kids for a 3-hour walk all the way downtown and back, felt awesome to stretch out and feel happy life all around. After that it was a late brunch at a supercool cafe just around the corner called "La Petite Marche", they expanded and built a huge solarium which was a nice surprise, and food just hit the spot. A very nice day so far, can't complain (except for the crying baby at the table next to ours, grrrr! ) - now it's time to relax with some ironing and other domestic chores. Thank god for iPod!

Thought of the day: Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle.

2nd dinner

Sushi! mmm! well I did only have 3 meals today so it's all good :-) Trying to watch a dumb little movie right now "The Guardian" with Kevin Costner. Whatever. What a boring Saturday night... it's sleeting right now so impossible to go walking anywhere, friends are all busy since didn't make plans with them. Sigh. At least both dogs are super clean, that's a consolation. I'm boring myself so... bye peeps.

Dirty Batman

11:30am is perfectly fine

Hey when you need to catch up on sleep, you just do, right? Towtrucks couldn't have dragged me out of bed this morning, so I just gave in and slept! And I can't wait to do it again... feels awesome. And despite the late start it's been a productive day. Met up with my friend N to run some errands, took the dogs for a long run in the muddy field, gave one of them a bath and bf will bathe the other one soon - that is a chore and a half, uugghh. Big dogs, little tub, lots of fur and flying water, LOL! Groceries are done, kitchen is clean, doing the week's laundry now and making salmon pie and salad for dinner... yum. Tonight will be relaxed, we'll watch a movie or two. Nothing else to do.

It's a gray dreary 3C right now and huge snowflakes are dropping from the sky like drunken frogs. I am so sick of this weather, it just numbs you and sucks away all will to live! I mean WTF??! "same shit different year", I guess. BLAH.

I gotta go mash the potatoes now... Did I mention there is a chocolate mousse cake in the fridge? Oh good lordy, the devil is cooking for us again and he will just not listen when I say "more vegetables, less fat, no desserts". grrrrr. I suck at resisting temptation. Even if I close my eyes I can hear "eat me, eat me!" Sigh.

It gets me PUMPED!

http://www.splendad.com/ads/show/578-Verizon-Wireless-Spotter

he he he! I LOVE IT! :-))

Gearing up for 2nd outing

It's funny, once the sun sets it seems so hard to leave home again, even if it's still early. I get into this cocooning-mood and want to stick to my couch under a blanket and just relaaax.. but I can't. After the walk home from work I took the dogs for a bio-break in a muddy field not too far (they are ALL muddy), only 15 minutes for them to stretch their legs after a long day home alone. But they never complain, the little angels. Stopped by at the grocery store after that to pick up some supplies, had a lovely & simple salad for dinner, and now I have to take the kids out for their promised walk - yes they hold me to my promises ;-)

(later)

I'm back! It wasn't so bad actually... just need a hot choc to warm up my freezing hands. Watching "What Not To Wear" and surfing the web, a very chilled evening... wonder what my peeps are doing this weekend. Looks like we might drive over to my dad's for Easter, and my mom said she wanted to come spend some time in the city in a few weeks - we'll get them set up in a gorgeous hotel not too far and just "hang out", that'll be awesome! Maybe I'll even get to see my little shrimp. Still can't believe she's growing up so fast, and that I'm 20 years older than her! (scream!) Mind over matter... it's just a calendar age, nothing to worry about. Wrinkles give character... right??!!

Better with bullets

• Slept OK
• Headache scale: 2 (wooo!)
• Breakfast: strawberry shredded wheat
• Brisk 30 min walk to work
• 2-hour meeting
• Spreadsheet hell, must get work done
• Excel crashed - WTF???
• Lost all my work.
• Almost lost my mind.
• Motto of the day: "fuck it"
• Beautiful sun out, kinda warm 5C
• Weekend starts soon
• Woooooo!

Nightcap

A nice smooth Bin 555 is keeping me company right now, as BF is surfing his forums, dogs are sleeping and I'm all scrubbed, in jammies and ready for bed :-) I hope to dream of kites, blue skies and dolfins...

I love my chiro!

It's nice to be in good hands :-) I haven't taken any more painkillers since breakfast and just managed without, it was tolerable albeit uncomfortable... After a full day's work I walked over to the clinic - it's a 30 minute hike - quite pleasant in the warm rain actually, then got an extra long ultrasound treatment on the sore muscles. Lots of specific stretches, a few well-placed cracks, and homework: I promised to call the migraine clinic and get an appointment, because he's done all he can for me at this point. The problem is definitely deeper and needs investigation. I can only hope for a miracle, living with chronic pain is not a joke!

I'm about to hop in the shower, fuzziness is settling in and I need another early night... will have a glass of red wine to bump me unconscious (hopefully!) and tomorrow is TGIF, woooo! Me like.

A confession

OK I was baaaad last night.... suffered an intense craving all day for salt & vinegar chips... and I actually gave in, for once! Asked BF to bring a bag on his way home from work and he did good, one jumbo bag of Lays S&V... I ate half of it. And that was my dinner. Went to bed with a swollen-from-salt tongue and feeling the weight of Catholic Guilt on my shoulders, as you would know it. he he he. I am so human!

I'll have salad another day :-)

Pick a prayer

God help me to consider people's feelings, even if most of them ARE hypersensitive.

God help me to take responsibility for my own actions, even though they're usually NOT my fault.

God help me to take things more seriously, especially laughter, parties, and dancing.

God give me patience, and I mean right NOW!

God, help me to finish everything I sta

God, help me to keep my mind on one th -- Look, a bird -- ing at a time.

Lord keep me open to others' ideas, WRONG though they may be.

Lord, help me slow down andnotrushthroughwhatIdo.

Amen

2nd day of head jackhammers

Somebody put a voodoo on me. They took this little shrunken head and jammed red-hot needles in its neck and skull and taped my name over the forehead and called it a day. Bloody hell. I went to bed at 10pm last night, tossed and turned for two hours before I got up and took a muscle relaxant in the hopes it would help me sleep. I think I finally slumbered an hour later? and was awake just before 7am - too early but what's the difference, I am almost blind from head pain whether lying down or walking around. Crunched on red tylenol for breakfast (to no effect whatsoever), walked to work hoping some exercise and fresh air would help. Nope. And turns out I forgot my keys at home, had to walk along street construction to get to the reception for replacement keys. The kicker? They're testing the building's fire alarms this morning cuz of wire problems yesterday! I sit just under a big fucking red bell - yes, life is just fantastic right now. If I had a stun gun it would be a delight to test it just to put me out of my misery. :-(((

Pigeon steak, anyone?

OK my dog is a little bit nuts sometimes... she really likes her food "fresh" if you know what I mean. uugghh.



So today was actually pretty sucky cuz I again got crushed by another killer migraine. Had to leave work mid-afternoon cuz the nausea and dizzyness were just too much, blurry vision, yadi yadi... I don't know how I managed to take the kids out for a romp in the field when I felt like puking, my head splitting in two from the pain. Took a mega dose of drugs and laid down on the couch for two hours, I am functional right now but just barely - merrr. I'll be in bed early tonight, feel stoned and stupid right now to be honest... I want to be my happy self again tomorrow! will definitely check in with my chiro cuz after 4 months of treatment I don't feel any better or different. I kinda expected that but still, you'd think with what it costs there would be SOME improvement! jeez... kay my heart is not into writing tonight. sleepy time... zzz.

It's still a good day!

I just sometimes need to vent about stuff I take to heart.

We OK?

OK :-)

Why I hate petfood companies!

With a passion! OMG! Those lying, scumbag profit-mongering sons of bitches are poisoning and killing our pets yet nobody is shutting them down or slapping fines or penalities on their asses - how convenient that they govern their own selves, eh? yeah... that works. I wish the world would wake up and realise "you get what you pay for". and those sickening ads for Iams, Purina, Pedigree, Whiskas etc?

It should be illegal to sell bold blatant lies like that, it is just bloody shocking... and so very, very sad that most people are naive enough to believe what they are being told and don't take the time to do some very simple research, like reading the list of ingredients and looking past the hype and deceptive marketing tactics. Learing what those ingredients mean. Asking questions like "where does the raw material come from? would I eat that?" and "what processes and chemicals has the food gone through before it ended up in the bag, box, pouch or can?" Simple, basic things that would certainly change the way our pets have been fed the past 60 years or so.

Hah. but then alot of vets would be out of business... cats and dogs would not be crippled with cancer and arthritis at 6 years of age, dropping dead of pancreatis, kidney failure, obesity and diabetes at age 5, suffering from countless infections, allergies and malaises from youth. It just boggles my mind how profit$ rule the world :-(

To read for enlightenment:

http://www.shirleys-wellness-cafe.com/jesse.htm#poison

http://www.preciouspets.org/rendering.htm

http://www.newsagepress.com/foodpetsdiefor.html

And it ends with a cookie

I can't believe how busy this day was, and how fast it flew by... somehow it doesn't feel fair sometimes. :-( After a whirlwind day at work I walked home in the bitter cold - did feel great to gulp some fresh air though - got greeted by two very happy doggies, slipped into winter gear and brought them out for a run in the field. Well THEY ran, I kinda just trod along gazing at the clear blue sky and letting my mind take a break from reality. I think 30 minutes was just a teaser for them cuz they had sooo much energy all evening, where normally they just snooze around, tonight was toss n'tumble n'toys!

My friend N then called, she got her pix back from her trip to Margarita Island (yes, old fashioned photographs, the real kind!) and I had to see those, so drove to her place to check them out and have a bite of yummy fried rice with chicken, we watched TV for a bit - yay for American Idol! - and it was hard to leave that warm comfortable couch, I tell you. Sigh. Is this damn cold ever going to leave?? Back home and time to take the kids out again for a bio-break, all they wanted to do was run and make snow angels while i froze in the dark, whoopee - then did some dishes and prepared their dinner... tonight was ground chicken legs with cubed boneless pork roast. Super simple, all fresh and raw... none of that tainted petfood crap getting within miles of my kids, no fucking way.

Now... i am super tired and need to get to bed, another heavy workday lies ahead. Nothing fun to look forwards to, really... just feeling a bit blue right now. I must be really tired... yeah that's it. Sleep will cure everything. Right? Specially if I dream in blue... then, these dreams, they become true, somehow...

Animal Cruelty

No comment!

Effing retarded!!

OK woke up to -6C, it's shot down to -13C and with the wind? -24!!! We're stuck under a fucking cold air mass (rhymes with "ass") and it's threatening our sanities - just as I arrived at my stop some poor woman in the subway just fainted dead away, we had to pull the emergency alarm on to get her off - I'm sure she was just sick and tired of this cold weather, yeah, that has to be it... I am THIS close to flying to California!! grumble grumble grumble.

On a positive note I made it to work on time this this morning, which is a minor miracle. Sucking on a ginger Altoid (look how cute they are):

and had a great time catching up on my friend SG's blog, she's having QUITE the adventures down in Australia - a woman after my heart, she is ;-) She keeps me sane in times of trouble and inspires me to not settle for mediocrity in anything I do. Can't complain with that!

Gotta put my nose to the grinder, many meetings today and need to catch up on yesterday's work since I wasn't here - emails kept pouring in, regardless. And I don't have any exciting stories to report so far today, zzzzzzzz for all! sniff.

It's too early, WTF?

I actually had some kind of sleep last night - allelujah! Not enough to make up for a lost week's worth but it's a start. I never get up this early, it's cold out and I've got sleep in my eyes... I should just go back to bed. Merrr. Not sure what mood I'm in yet.

The healing powers of soap,

ginger gravol lozenges and a tall glass of water. Ah. Feel better now! Now if I only could find a little asian lady to walk all over my back with those massage shoes... bliss!

the city is warming up, as darkness falls the snow is melting under zero C - could spring finally be in the air?.. With the mud comes April showers, the Easter bunny, the beginning of "one long weekend per month", longer daylight hours, budding trees and the renewal of life and dreams. I just feel so alive these days, like I can climb any tall mountain - fear is melting away like dirty snow into the gutters. I am lucky to have such a great team at work, it's more like family really... even if the job itself is not super exciting it is very rewarding and I can't imagine working anywhere else. Of course who knows what the future holds, but I'm not there now. Still feeling my wings and learning to stretch.

Fleeting random thought... lyrics from Beborn Beton's "Poison" - a truly awesome fun song BTW:

I got a friend he's as big as a whale
Leaving cracks in the pavement
And unable to read the scales
Munches fries, enchilladas and pork-chops all day

Disconnected brain, sorry... time to go to bed soon (aka torture slab of concrete) and fake another night of sleep. ficken! Y'all behave now and remember... eye am watching you ;-)

Not quite sane of mind, but here I go

I haven't had a decent night's sleep in 8 days, I'm living on fumes and it's starting to show... I am so fucking sick and tired of not being able to sleep: nothing helps. Glass of wine before bed, muscle relaxants, sleeping pills, stretching, meditating, counting sheep, even sleeping on the couch doesn't help. I think I'm losing my mind! I need 8 hours per night to feel like a decent human being, not 3 or 4 lousy hours! aaaaaaaaaaaah!!! Bedtime has become a tedious, stressful chore now... I need to get hit on the head with a big heavy frying pan, is what I need. Just knock me out somebody! LOL

Today was big! Our whole office spent the day at the Hyatt in an offsite organized by our American HQ, it was super long and sometimes tedious "death by powerpoint" but it went by surprisingly fast, and I really enjoyed some of the workshops. The food was horrible, as you would expect, but dinner with coworkers in Old Montreal after that was really lovely, I think (no, I am sure!) I had too much wine... My insides are all upside down and I need to type very slowly right now to make any sense at all. I hope I'll finally get some sleep tonight... PLEASE god, PLEASE!

Have to put away all the food our chef-friend made for us (gorgeous minestrone soup, spinach feuilletés, chicken fried rice), then clean up the kitchen and take a shower, let's see if I have any energy left to come back here for a nightcap.

Bangkok Delight!

"Mommy why is the chocolate one bigger?"
"Here you go honey... and remember don't use your teeth!"
"Better learn to eat it fast before it drips on your chin sweetheart"
he he he he

Not a bad day at all!

It did warm up to near zero, the sun peeped out from behind the clouds and despite the mounds of snow littering the sidewalks, spring is definitely in the air! I just stripped off my "michelin man" snowsuit, sweaty from a romp in the snowy woods with the dogs - they're such sweethearts, I always have a ball with them. Now they're wrestling on the carpet, they stink cuz they STILL haven't had a bath and they're damp from the snow, peee-yooouuu jezus. But it's all good, we're happy and healthy. :-)

Am hoping to catch Desperate Housewives tonight, been two weeks I missed the show and I have withdrawal symptoms, daaamn. Still have to trim the dog's nails before I can relax, that's always a chore I look forwards to, just about as much as poking my eye out with a fork... But the kids cooperate so it's not that bad, I'm just a lazy bitch. A hungry one, too... have a craving for popcorn so will air-pop a nice bowl of Fireworks stuff... the best popcorn on earth! Taste the difference! LOL http://www.popcornlovers.com/ Kinda like a student dinner but I'm too tired to do anything else, really... had alot of exercise today and not enough sleep. BF got us a nice bottle of red but my liver needs a break, no vino tonight for a change. Some ass-wipe stole his iPod at work a few days ago, can you believe it? It was his bday gift, plus it had Bose headphones which were his xmas present... grrr fucking crackhead thieves, may they die of nut cancer!

OK I better move or I'll fall asleep right here on the couch... softness is a deadly thing. puurrrr.

The 11am curse

Didn't I just say last night I didn't want to wake up so late again? damn! Well I can say it's not my fault, I had a super shitty night of sleep, tossing and turning and dreaming my boss had suddenly died of cancer and oh my god it was so bad. This is not a productive weekend, to say the least... gotta shake the sleeps and hop in the shower, have breakfast, get this day going. Both dogs are in a great mood and need to go out, just wish it was warmer: still -7C right now. Fuck it, eh? I am smiling!! :-))

Viva Le Milsa!!

Looking for a great party restaurant? Le Milsa (http://www.churrascaria-milsa.com/index_en.html) won't disappoint! Wow, I'm still hoarse from all the laughing and whooping, so glad I stayed intelligent and didn't eat any meat though, I'm feeling gross enough as it is... stuffed my face with two huge plates of salad, some spicy grilled mushrooms, half a bottle of superb chiraz, and a bit of lemon cake and grilled pineapple for dessert... doesn't sound like much but man am I ever feeling it, uughhh. Feel kinda sick to my stomach, actually... just chewed on a ginger gravol and hope that helps. It must have been the sexy brazilian dancer that made me get up and dance in front of our group of 30-some people, oooh that was rough!

I wish I had a costume like that! ha ha I'm off to bed now, tomorrow is a big day and I don't really want to get up at 11am again... why are weekends so short? I swear there are only like 34 hours or so. Someone's stealing my weekend hours... I'm sure of it. hurmph.

New world math?

This sign is broken!

And the weather report is...

...sucky!! to say the least, LOL! -6C and psychotic winds that blow snow and ice crystals into your eyes making you stumble on the bumpy sidewalks and cry for mercy... Like they say "if you can't beat them, join them" eh? Gonna strap on some heavy-duty winter gear later on and face the elements, the dogs need to get out and THEY love sibera. What we do for love, eh? ;-)

Had an OK night of sleep, woke up a few times but managed to fall back into slumber. Got up at 11am - bliss! - put in a load of laundry and caught up on my forums, had a beautiful hot frothy lattee and now contemplating the order of things... need to take a shower and all that, not really hungry but will have some fruit salad or something. Tonight is a friend's birthday dinner party at some cool resto downtown and I want to keep some appetite, although some days it's just not there you know?.. Plus I need to lose some of that marshmallow on my hips, one of the reasons I need to go out walking this afternoon, LOL! Plus have a bunch of errands to run, that's nice.

Kay first need to make the kids' breakfast... ground chicken legs mixed with yogurt, an antioxydant veggie and fruit puree, cubed boneless pork roast, chicken liver and their daily supps. I swear they eat better than I do - meerrrr.

Major revelations

So my friend SG landed in Australia yesterday and reading her blog, it's pure inspiration. I hate stinky cramped planes so have been very reluctant to even consider going to Australia for a visit with my man (he's been here for 4 years now... it's time soon for him to see his family). So yeah SG makes it sound quite easy to get there and so beautiful and fresh, now I'm thinking "why not me?" - only one life to live and I'm not getting any younger. I do want to see more of this big world we live in and even if kissing a koala is not on my list of things to do (I heard they are nasty smelly beasts!) I'm sure Australia has alot of other things to offer! So yeah... I'm not saying it's going to happen but now it's a definite possibility. If not that, then Italy for sure. I've been neglecting "fun travel" for too long now. Just gotta find a good kennel for the dogs and we're outta here. What else are tax refunds for? LOL

The snow has started coming down, and with a vengeance. Expecting over a foot, and freezing rain after that. "beautiful". "thrilling". I feel bad for people travelling over the weekend... thousands of cancelled flights, uughh. I plan on sleeping late tomorrow morning, am quite sleep deprived because of my own stupidity, going to bed at 1am and knowing i have to get up for work 6 hours later, and of course the sleep I do get is restless and crappy so mornings are a nightmare. At least I've never accidentally brushed my teeth with Preparation H or some other gross thing like that! well OK there is none of that in the house, although I've always wanted to try it as undereye cream, heard it tightens up the wrinkes ;-) I wish I knew the real story on that. Maybe check snopes...

Tomorrow is another day. Will dream of a lovely new latex mattress tonight and count down the sleeps until it's here.

Groaner!

Two parrots were sitting on a perch.

One said to the other, "It smells fishy around here."

(if ya don't get it... maybe you're one of the lucky ones! LOL)

For fuck's sake!

Give us a break already!! 30cms of snow in the next 24 hours? what have we done to piss off mother nature so badly? uuhh no wait... don't answer that. Time to drag out the winter gear AGAIN and freeze and shovel AGAIN... too horrid for words. Should I just get it over with and move to California? I know I am a beach and sea babe, it's just all those Americans I can't stand - as a general culture. I do know a few jewels though, not to lump everyone in the same haystack ;-)

I am such a procrastinator. uughh. Both my dogs desperately need a bath, they are super-filthy, but I just can't be bothered... one roll in the wet shitty mud and it's like shampoo never happened. Need to buy a new dining room set, am sick and tired of looking at those chewed-up chairs. Want a need mattress though, that will happen next month when the new latex models comes in the store I have adopted. Sealy Posturpedic? I'd rather sleep on a slab of concrete. oh wait - it IS like sleeping on a slab of concrete!! NEVER buy Sealy mattresses! Need a lamp to hang in the corner of the livingroom, it's been dark there for 7 years now - hey I did write I was a procrastinator, don't look so surprised eh? Oh and time to start thinking about doing taxes, and the car needs to be serviced... I need a butler.

Am starving now, time to grab some food. Had baby carrots already, time for a spicy potato, corn and cheese soup I brewed up, carbs are good for you! sure they are! mmmm!

Where the hell have I been?

Been too long I've "been away", been meaning to post like every week but life just got the better of me. Now it's midnight, I have to be up at 7am for work (riiiiight... like the snooze button won't get the better of me AGAIN), finishing a glass of wine and I have to dry my hair before it poofs up like a Q-Tip. Spent last week working in San Francisco and it was awesome! I actually enjoyed the city this time, the weather was a nice break from crappy siberian cold, ate well and had a comfy hotel room, 1st-class plane ride home... wow! So I didn't get my luggage for 2 days after I got home, oh weeeell!

So one of my friends is sunning her butt in the carribean and one is basking on the beaches of australia, why am I here again?! I do love california soooo much... feel at home there despite the american culture (he he! that is an oxymoron!). Fucking cold miserable weekend in store, got a dinner party to go to thank the lord. Bring on the wine, pour it straight down my gullet ok? One day at a time... tomorrow is TGIF so let's enjoy that! yeeehaaaw!!

A "reality check" to finish this lame post: If only men wouldn't believe everything they see! Viva le photoshop, eh? g'nite & sweet dreams!