Warning of the day

Anything you say or do will be used against you on the internet!

Silent roars

"We're animals. We're born like every other mammal and we live our whole lives around disguised animal thoughts." ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

Just a few more minutes...

Until blessed vacation. S'hard to believe it but yes, it is true: I survived another quarter end with a chopped-up team and not much sleep as a single mom! Wooo!

*insert happy dance*

I might not be blogging much the next week as I have visit from out of town and will focus on being a good host as opposed to an internet addict, but I'll still plug in various bits of news here and there. Tonight is laundry and exterminating the colonies of dust bunnies that mysteriously appeared overnight (thanks alot, shedding dogs), I need a pedicure and if I fall asleep in the bath I swear it's not my fault. I swear.

Hold the light!

"I am woman! I am invincible!

I am pooped!" ~Author Unknown

Living on a prayer

Dear Lord,

It's finally Friday,

I shall eat no meat

In return can you please

Give me the strength

To not pass out

Before 6pm?

Amen.

I walked out of the house covered in white dog fluff this morning - of course I'm stupid enough to wear black the day after they got a bath so I'm asking for trouble, but still. I quit brushing them after half a dozen handfuls of fluff came off the brush and grooming rake, it's just an impossible mess - at least they don't reek of dead fritos anymore.

Don't think I have any significant rants this morning... the normal lack of sleep and ensuing headache applies (damn Facebook Scrabble challenges, gaaah!) and I need a helluva lot more caffeine than one measly espresso to get through this loooong day. OK I need to catch up on my fellow bloggers, they're much more entertaining than I am today! Woot!

Poised for greatness

"Flying without feathers is not easy; my wings have no feathers." ~Titus Maccius Plautus

I wish I did drugs.

Seriously. Anything to numb this pain and warm up the ice in my veins. I'd open a bottle of wine but I asked my liver and it said "no thanks"... what's left? Had the chocolate bar and the gummi bears already, can't be bothered to eat any real food so today's rack-up really sucks: peanut butter toasts for breakfast, burger/fries/bit o'salad for lunch. No dinner besides a tiny bowl of soup. Bleh.

Why the sad face, you may ask? As my life is so wonderful (and it is!). Well tonight my Ex said a final goodbye to his kids and it tore me up... it was a terrible moment. It's been so bad, he's recently taking up smoking again to get through it all - you'd have to know him to understand what ciggies mean.

Tomorrow night we say our final goodbyes, still a few last logistics to work out and then... that's it. He flies home to the other side of the world in 1o days but I won't see him anymore. I plan to wear waterproof mascara and carry a mile-long list of chores to keep busy after a long sordid day of work then caring for the dogs, I mean what's a girl to do? He dumped me (kinda sorta... I did let him go) and now starts a fresh new life and I'm going to focus on that with all my heart and soul. Someone out there, someday, will find me and keep me. I just know it. In the meantime? I am single, free and stretching out these massive wings, there is a breeze in the air and I'll let it take me where I'm supposed to go.

In reply to the dare...

Someone commented on an earlier post and asked where I would most like to eat... ice cream... in a dare kinda way. Well, that's an easy one, see my lady friend here holding my cone? Ooops sorry gotta run, it's melting! :-D

Kidney poll: voting has ended

The last poll asked: A wealthy, dying person offers you money for one of your kidneys - this would save his/her life. How much would it take?

You voted:

I'd do it for free and just feel good I saved a life. 25%
I would never sell or give a body part! 44%
I'd take as much as I could get. 19%
I'd be fine with $50K. 13%
Not for less than $100K. 0%
At least $250K if not more. 0%

Hmm well I dunno about you guys, but I'd seriously give thought to selling a kidney for a million bucks... I mean I have two of them right? My gramma is 86 and has lived most of her adult life with only one kidney so it doesn't scare me. Plus I would be saving a life, so no moral dilemma. OK maybe 2 million then! LOL

The gift that keeps on giving

"Hey gramma, can you knit me one of those for Christmas?"

Empty train

The brain is chugging along but the empty containers are going 'round the track in circles, chugga chugga, still too censored to blog about anything significant so I guess that makes for a boring read most of the time. Who wants to hear incessant whining? The world is all about sex, drugs and rock n'roll now...Tsk. I'd rather love, booze and techno/trance. Yeah.

This disturbs me:

George Zokos is a professional shepherd in Tyrnavos, Greece, but due to health problems three years ago (according to an August Agence France-Presse dispatch), he now herds the sheep from his car. [Agence France-Presse, 8-12-07]

I guess he can't afford a herding dog? How the hell do you herd sheep from a car? Does he farm on a parking lot? Does he use a modified horn that barks instead of honks? Does his sheep meat taste like gas fumes? WTF, man. *shakes head*

On Siggy:

"Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces." ~Sigmund Freud

English weather

It's grey, it's raining, it's Britain in a bottle being poured on our heads - LOL! I guess now we're paying for all the gorgeous weather we'd been having - nothing in life is free.

No dramas to report, it's been fairly quiet... the demons in my head had a blast all night long with psycho dreams, prolly fed on the strange convos I had before going to bed. Funny how an inebriated person can spill so many secrets although one has to wonder, is the adage "drunken words are sober thoughts" really true? If so, I smile. If not, I smile cynically. Bah. Time will tell its tale.

"Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts." Groan.

Fogged lenses

"We don't see things as they are,

we see them as we are."

~Anaïs Nin

Inebriated musings, bla bla bla

Tonight after work, I sat in the big field and watched a beautiful show unfurl in the sky high above me. The setting sun painted the surrounding lazy stretched clouds in purples, pinks, pale blues and shadows, illuminating the fat bloated moon rising on the horizon behind my back - what a show. It was peaceful, and it gave me time to breathe and to... not think. Even the kids were mellow and clingy - I guess they do feel it when mom feels lonely.

One of my exes had a baby a few days ago - well his girlfriend had the baby, tsk - and seeing the photo just made me feel... unrooted, unaccomplished and unsure of what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing with my life. No, I don't want a child, never did and never will. It's not about that. Rather, how do people just "know" that this is what they want? They buy a house, they chose a mate, they make kids, they chose jobs, they go to disneyland and play golf and and - why aren't any of those things appealing to me? They scream stability (=boredom) yet isn't it what I crave? To belong?

Yet I need to be free, or at least to feel free. Looks like I'm in a helluva pickle.

I don't wanna talk about it!

Can I choose to stick my head in the sand on this one? This afternoon a conversation about the sea just dragged my mood down to fish poo level, for no good reason whatsoever - bam! Intense melancholy and I'm reverted to clutching at tissues again. FFS! It's not so bad now (a few hours later) and I've lined up this evening's schedule to include very little chores - not even tanning - and a glass of wine so yeah, it's like passing a damn kidney stone or something. Although I've never had one. Heard it's like passing a prickly bowling ball on fire through your peehole or something.

Prin this one is for you!

*snicker* She'll know why!!!

Muggy! Hot! UGH!

OK I am officially sick and tired of this hot, stupid heavy muggy sweaty weather, WTF?! Can we pleeeease have a bit of cool 20C autumn weather already? Sigh. Tossed and turned all night in my stuffy bedroom, too hot to sleep - just overall uncomfortable. Meh!

3 more days and I'm on vacation... seems unreal. Am picking up my friend from the airport at lunchtime on Saturday and that seems even more unreal - a bit scary but oh, what an adventure all this is! Sigh. Life's speeding by like a... bullet. So thank you Covenant for this bassgroovy song:

time is like a bullet from behind
I run for cover just like you
time is like a liquid in my hands
I swim for dry land just like you

time is like a blanket on my face
I try to be here just like you
time is just a fiction of our minds
I will survive and so will you

we are the only ones right now that are celebrating
and we are joining hands right now
we are the only ones right now that are suffocating
we are the dying ones right now

as the water grinds the stone
we rise and fall
as our ashes turn to dust
we shine like stars

kisses on the dancefloor in my past
I need some comfort just like you
beating like a bass drum time goes by
I want the last dance just like you

drowning in the flood of morning light
I'm only human just like you
do you hear the city waking up
I will survive and so will you

we are the only ones right now that are celebrating
and we are joining hands right now
we are the only ones right now that are suffocating
we are the dying ones right now

In my garden, pt 2

"Won't you come into the garden?

I would like my roses to see you."

~Richard Brinsley Sheridan

Mystery solved!

Well... so I hope, and we shall see. Got my boy's 2nd thyroid test results back this afternoon and it's clear now that it is waaay too low, he needs be put on a daily hormone supplement for life... That explains his thin greasy coat that just won't grow back - while his sister's coat is most plush and gorgeous so it isn't the diet - and we should see an improvement within three months... Sigh. More blood tests to make sure that the dosage is correct and his body is absorbing the meds, but things should get easier with time. I'm almost relieved there is an actual cause to his crappy thin coat and that we caught this problem in time. Yeah. That's an expensive pure-bred dog for ya, LOL!

Today was such a rush, ups and downs and a few dramas to spice things up (Ex bought his plane ticket home to Oz... no comment) and here we are, 8pm and I just sat down for a quick blog then I'm up again to scrub the skanky kitchen and steamvac the skanky lounge carpet. Woo! Pretty soon all the skankiness will be gooooone, sweet lord jesus!