Friday, July 20, 2007

The long way home

Photo copyright Technodoll, 2007

Everyone's right: I can do this, I am stronger than I think, I need to live one day at a time. But it's also OK to have days like this, to allow myself to just *feel* instead of always thinking and rationalizing. Right? Right. The sky is slowly drying up and warmer drier weather is on the way, I will catch up on sleep and kill this nagging headache, take deep breaths and count my blessings (if I can count that high). I won't let PMS win this month, I just won't.

At least I resolved a bunch of banking screwups today, I even made tuna melts for dinner while bf took the kids for a run in the sogging wet field, then went for a quick tan and hopefully trigger some positive chemical hoopla between my ears. For the weekend, rented "Little Miss Sunshine" cuz Prin will whip my butt if I never get to see this movie, and Mel Gibson's "Apoctalypto" cuz it looked wicked cool. So yeah. Just crunched some tylenol and bf offered to rub my sorry excuse for a neck, and my mantra for today is: it's OK not to be OK, not to be strong and smiling all the time. Self-acceptance is the long way home.


Daszzle said...

I think that's an excellent (and very healthy way) to get through your current sadness. P.S. Little Miss Sunshine is hilarious so I hope it brightens (no pun intended) your day! As a side note: I have a friend who's car works very much like that van hahaha!

Ooh and have a glass of wine for me too... cause you really put me in the mood ;)

Smiler said...

that's the spirit! :)

Prin said...

Ooo I hope you like Little Miss Sunshine. It rocked!

I heard (from a source we both know ;)) that Apoc was super gory...

"it's OK not to be OK, not to be strong and smiling all the time."
Definitely. It's what separates the authentic people from the fakers, IMO.

And also, IMO, "rationalizing" is another word for "repressing"... Repressing isn't good either. You can rationalize your way out of bed in the morning, but it's by no means a good way of dealing with that much pain. It's ok to hurt. Pain is a part of life, too. Like a thing I just heard in a movie- wherever there's sun, there have to be shadows too.

Speaking of pain, I'm suprised Dakotah's still standing. Geez.

Just feel what you have to feel. 99% of the time I'm wrong anyway. :D